


The Fell Winter

by Torun



Series: The Paths We Must Take [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Battle, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarf Women, F/M, Family, Female Friendship, Friendship, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Orcs, The Hobbit AU, The Shire, The Shire centric, War, Wargs, Winter, dunedain rangers, orc raids, skirmishes, the fell winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:18:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 103,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torun/pseuds/Torun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even a small pebble can start a landslip, and as evil stirs in Middle Earth an unlikely person starts changing history as we know it. COMPLETE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This AU is connected to the events in the Hobbit and I have chosen to treat the films and the book plus events in the appendix as one story, to make story telling easier. The world and the most characters are from Middle Earth, but the story is heavily influenced by Astrid Lindgren's adventure books for children; The Brothers Lionheart, Mio, My Son and Ronia, The Robber's Daughter. My main character is basically a adult female version of Bo Vilhelm Olsson with hints of Ronia, and Middle Earth is pretty much a Nangijala and the Land Far Away with a winter like in Mattis's forest. It's not an actual cross over, but anyone who has read these books will probably feel at home here.
> 
> I have also mucked about with the time line and where and when certain characters shows up. There's also a lot of headcanon involved here, mainly for political reasons. I simply can't fit myself into Tolkien's world view when it comes to some things, which is why this is an AU story.

Marigold Smith, to most known as Mari, did not believe in an afterlife. She was too young to consider such things. We walk through our lives thinking we'll live at least until we're old, in some distant future, when the reality is that death can take us any second. She did not think it would happen to her any time soon, and why should it? Healthy and hale, a non-smoker who didn't over indulge in anything. She should live forever.

It wasn't anything special about that autumn day when she was on her way to her newly acquired work. Leafs were slowly shifting in colour and the weather was grey, even if there was a hint of a pale sun behind the clouds.

Since she left school at 19, she'd had a string of jobs, beginning at the local pub, then moved on to making espresso and latte in coffee shops, and eventually found a job as a waitress in a brasserie. Recession's tightening grip on her native home had enabled her adventurous side, and with a large bag with her most precious belongings, she moved to a new life, a new language – and loneliness. She had landed a job at an up-scale restaurant south of the river, complete with a wine bar, expensive art on the walls, and a glorious view of the river slowly moving past.

She wasn't happy.

Little did she know her existence was about to change dramatically, and all simply because she didn't pay attention.

This afternoon, as on so many afternoons, she was going over the evening specials as she hurried down the street, not paying much attention to what was going on around her. A fairly large man, clearly not paying much attention to his surrounding either, bumped into her and she was sent stumbling to her right where another fellow pedestrian bumped into her.

“Sorry! Sorry,” she exclaimed as she nearly tripped over her own feet. One step, two steps – and her foot snagged on the shoelaces to her All Star Converses. She fell, throwing out her hands to brace herself against the pavement, completely missing the bins on the curb. With a dull thud she slammed into one of them and with her head, before her body hit the concrete slabs on the pavement. She never realised what happened.

It was dark when she pried her eyelids open. As she was staring into the darkness, she tried to remember what had happened and if at all possible, where she was. Her head ached, as did her left side and arm. Slowly she turned her head in the darkness, trying to see something in the inky blackness. The outlines of a window caught her eye, and through it she saw a clear night sky. With a frown she realised she wasn't home. She had no recollection of this place.

Moving carefully she eased herself up on her right elbow, taking in the dark shapes in the room she was in. Then she remembered. She had tripped. The pain must come from her body hitting the ground. Dropping her eyes to the floor, she brought her hand up to her head, feeling a bump at the side, hidden under her by now rather messy hair. Her neck radiated pain when she tipped her head in a specific way and she carefully examined the vertebrae, sliding her fingers from the base of her skull and down. Nothing.

With her feet on the floor, she stood and made her way to the door, gripping the handle and opening it. The hallway outside was awash with a soft yellow slightly flickering light, warming the rounded walls, panelled halfway up. The hardwood floor under her feet was surprisingly warm and had finely woven rugs on it.

For a long while she stood in the doorway listening to the silence. No voices could be heard and outside it was equally quiet. She realised with a frown that she couldn't hear any traffic at all, which she honestly should, considering the city she lived in. Haltingly she padded towards the light, peeking around a corner into a fairly large parlour. At the opposite wall, a large hearth was alight with a warming fire, candles were lit in the room, and in front of the fire sat a person with curly sandy hair. She, because it was a woman, wore something looking rather archaic, and in her hands were a crochet hook which she was using to create something looking suspiciously like a hat.

Mari cleared her throat and the woman turned towards her, revealing a round face belonging to someone middle aged.

“Ah there you are!” she exclaimed, unceremoniously dropping the work in her hands into a basket next to her, and got on her feet. Mari couldn't help herself. She stared at the woman's feet and her jaw dropped slightly. Her eyes flipped between the woman's face and her feet as the woman spoke. Her feet were unusually large, somewhat hairy, and she didn't wear any socks or shoes.

“You've been out cold these past five hours, and by the look of things you had been unconscious a while before that,” she continued. “How's your head dear?”

Mari raised her hand to her bump and frowned. “It's a bit painful and I've got a headache,” she replied and looked back at the woman now standing in front of her.

“I can imagine that! Now tell me, what were you doing on the road between Tuckborough and Woodhall? You didn't look like you were dressed for travels, but you're not from around here.”

Mari stared at the woman as she opened and closed her mouth. “Tuckborough?” she asked incredulously.

“Oh, of course you wouldn't know where that is! And I’m rude too. I’m sorry my dear. Viola is my name. Viola Took. You are currently in Tuckborough. Are you hungry?”

“Took,” Mari repeated, slightly dazed. How was it possible? She must be dreaming. “Um, I am, actually,” she continued.

“Well then! Let's have a little late supper, just you and me,” Viola said and disappeared on quick but silent feet.

Mari stared after her for long moments, before she pinched herself hard in her leg. It hurt and felt very real. She followed the sounds and found herself in a kitchen where Viola was busy putting a kettle on a wood stove. Viola looked up and smiled warmly.

“Sit down dear,” she urged Mari, who did as she was asked.

“Does the young lady have a name?” Viola asked as she brought out bread and started cutting it up in slices. Mari started at the home-made bread before lifting her eyes to meet Viola's.

“I'm sorry.” She was embarrassed and her cheeks heated up. “I didn't mean to be rude.”

“Don't worry lass. You were rendered unconscious. No wonder you're not quite yourself.” Viola smiled and started bringing out plates and cutlery.

“I'm Mari. Marigold Smith, but everyone calls me Mari.” She paused for a moment. “And I’m not from around here,” she added quietly.

“Oh, that would be blatantly obvious,” Viola grinned. “Pleased to meet you Miss Smith.”

“Just . . . Mari. Please. If that's all right.”

“Certainly.” The kettle whistled and Viola turned to the stove.

With her eyes darting around the kitchen, Mari opened her mouth to speak again. “So . . . this is . . . the Shire?” she asked.

“That would be correct.”

“How's that even possible?” Mari whispered with her wide eyes on Viola. She stopped short and considered the younger woman with a slightly furrowed brow. Mari stood and quickly closed the distance between them with her eyes taking in everything about Viola.

“Are you well, dear?” Viola asked with a concerned voice.

A small surprised laughter escaped Mari. “You're not so small after all,” she said with wonder in her voice.

Viola smiled slightly. “Oh, I wouldn't say that. Men and Elves are much taller. Dwarves tend to be not only taller, even if it's not by much, but also considerably wider.”

“But I read . . .” She looked down at herself, at her familiar jeans and the white waitress shirt she had put on before she hurried from her home. “I'm short. Short as you,” she added, her surprise obvious.

“Dear, are you certain you are well?” Viola asked and put down the teapot before she fully turned towards Mari.

“Yes. Yes! I’m sorry if I sound like a loon, but the strangest thing has happened. I hardly believe it myself,” Mari said with wonder in her voice. “To be honest I don't even know exactly what happened.”

They sat down and Viola poured tea in delicate cups as Mari watched, gathering her thoughts.

“I think . . . I’m from another world,” Mari begun. “But the strange thing is, I know much about yours. It's a story in our world; a fairy tale of sorts. It's a bit much to wrap my head around, to be honest, that this place really exists.” Mari's eyes wandered over the room once more.

“It does sound like quite a story,” Viola said.

“It does, doesn't it?” Mari replied. “I don't blame you for not believing me. I wouldn't.”

“We live in a world with wizards, dear. Plenty of things are possible,” Viola said drily.

Mari's eyes grew wide. “Gandalf?” she asked.

“Oh yes,” Viola smiled.

Mari smacked her hand over her mouth and stared at Viola. “I take it you know him?” Viola asked.

“No! I mean, I know _of_ him. And of Saruman, Radagast and . . . Oh I don't remember if there are any others. There are, aren't there?” She cocked her head slightly to the side. “What year is it?”

“1338, by Shire reckoning. 2938, as the Big Folk say,” Viola replied and reached for a slice of bread.

Mari shook her head. “Amazing. I think you need to tell me all that has happened, because I don't know if I can trust a fairy tale.”

“No, that's most likely not the wisest thing,” Viola smiled. “If you don't mind me asking, what manner of person are you? You're short like us Hobbits, but your feet are so small. As are your ears.” Viola leaned a little to her side looking after Mari's ears.

Mari dipped her eyes and picked up the honey to deposit some in her hot beverage. “I'm a Human. Like Men, but apparently small around here.” She stirred the tea and brought the cup to her lips. “Not that I was huge back home. 5'2”,” she smiled. “I seems to have shrunk a bit. Ten inches or so, perhaps?”

“Seems about right,” Viola agreed. She buttered her slice and added on a bit of ham and some gherkins.

Putting her cup down, Mari slowly put her hand, palm down on the surface. “I really don't know how I ended up here and if I can go back home.” She sighed. “I doubt it.” Realisation that she was in an entirely different world with no obvious way home hit her with full force. “What am I going to do?” The question wasn't really aimed at Viola, but she leaned over the table and put her hand over Mari's.

“Take one day at the time, dear. Eat some and then sleep. Tomorrow we'll start thinking about that. We'll help you, that I promise, lass.”

Mari met Viola's eyes. “Thank you.”

* * *

With no proper curtains to draw in front of the window, the morning light woke her up early. The sun was peeking out behind the hills, and Mari opened the window to look outside without any hindering glass panes. It was so picturesque it almost hurt, she realised. It was autumn here as well, and a large solitary tree at the distance had flaming branches in red and orange. The air was rather chilly, but it would probably be reasonably warm as the sun rose.

She pulled her head inside and closed the window, turning to look around. There was a washbasin and a pitcher on a table in a corner and she went over there to clean up a bit. She would have to ask how these things worked here, she realised, missing her toothbrush.

Dressed in her jeans and shirt, she left the room, heading for the kitchen. Voices told her she'd finally meet some of the other inhabitants of this home, and her step faltered a bit. Viola was nice – very nice in fact – but she felt nervous when thinking about other family members.

She turned the corner and found herself faced with what seemed to be the entire Took family. Viola cheerfully greeted her and motioned for her to sit, which she did. To her right were two young women, pretty the way Hobbits seemed to be; buxom, with curly hair, rosy skin and large blue eyes. They seemed to find Mari utterly fascinating and introduced themselves as Primula and Marguerite. Viola's husband, Isembard, was a friendly man, curious and gentle – and son of the current Thain. The younger son, he pointed out.

Mari couldn't contain her curiosity and quickly led the conversation in a direction other than herself. She asked questions about Shire history and got a reasonably brief summary, with just a few embellishments. It was enough to understand that most of what she knew was correct, though details sometimes seemed to be different.

Breakfast over, the family dispersed. Isembard, Prim and Marge (as they apparently were called in general) left to visit their elderly relative, the Thain. Viola on the other hand, took charge over Mari's life, in the most natural way, and Mari found she actually didn't mind. Well, aside for the fact that she had no idea how to repay these people for their kindness, a thought which made her feel slightly uneasy.

“We'd better equip you a bit better,” Viola said and led the way down one of the corridors. They entered a fairly large room. Viola crossed it to a large wardrobe, opening it and revealing plenty of clothes inside.

“I think we could find you something fitting here,” the older woman stated and started rifling through the garments. “Any particular colour you like?”

“Blue . . . I like blue,” Mari replied and stared at the contents of the wardrobe.

Out of the closet came what looked similar to an 18th century peasant dress with a dove-blue bodice in velvet, a cotton skirt in a lighter shade with a flower print the same colour as the bodice and a chemise in linen, with ruffles along the neckline and the end of the three quarter sleeves. After some more digging came a hooded wool cloak in that same colour.

“There you go. You're on the willowy side, but this one was Belladonna Took's, not mine, so it should fit.”

Mari's eyes almost fell out of her skull. “Bilbo's mother?” she blurted.

Viola smiled widely. “That she is. You know about Mr. Baggins?”

Mari nodded. “I do yes. He's in our stories.” She reached out and touched the velvet bodice.

Viola chortled. “Imagine that. Wonder why he got any attention. Baggins he is, through and through. Not particularly fond of making a spectacle of himself, so it would seem unlikely he'd be noticed. He's half-Took though.”

Mari smiled knowingly. “He's more of a Took than you think,” she said and held up the dress.

Viola studied her closely. “I'm starting to wonder if you know a thing or two about what's to come.”

“Perhaps. But from what you've told me so far, not everything has happened as in our stories, so whatever I have heard should be taken with a bucket of salt, I think,” Mari replied somewhat evasively. She realised her knowledge of this would could become a bit problematic, and she didn't feel like becoming an oracle. That could end pretty badly, she decided.

Viola nodded. “Now, let me help you get that dress on.”

Mari's jeans and shirt came off and a pair of bloomers and a chemise on. A ruffled underskirt materialised and was pulled down over her head and fastened around her waist. Next came the floral skirt and then the bodice, thankfully with hidden hooks at the front, making dressing fairly easy, and not too tight. She might even be able to run in it, she realised.

She brushed her hair, borrowed pins from Viola and rolled up her hair at the nape of her neck, pinning into place. After a short introduction to general Hobbit hygiene, Viola deemed her ready to meet the world. Mari lifted her skirt and looked down at her bare feet with a frown.

“I need shoes,” she said. “Not the ones I had coming here, but... something. I don't have the same soles you have.”

“I suspected you would want such things, and I have a plan,” Viola said, again leading the way. “In Bree there's a shoemaker, and if we take the pony and the cart, we could make the journey there and back in a couple of days.” With a twinkle in her eyes she half-turned towards Mari. “A fine little adventure, if you don't mind.”

“I'm probably more Tookish than anyone around, so I don't mind,” Mari chuckled.

Viola's eyes twinkled. “I suspected as much, dear.”

  
Mari had been right about the day. The chill from the morning was gone and it was a nice warm day, though not hot. Tuckborough showed itself from its prettiest autumn side, with sparkling reds, oranges and yellows and the sky was clear blue with a depth to it so typical of autumn. People were already milling about, and Viola was soon very busy introducing Mari to the neighbourhood. It took an hour to reach the market just down the hill.

Mari was content carrying the basket, as Viola cruised around, buying all sorts of things, from lamp oil to spices. Viola stopped by a bench where some distinguished elderly ladies sat with their knitting and made her usual introduction of Mari. Viola was promptly informed about the latest gossip from around the other villages, in particular about the questionable neutrality of one judge in some farmer's market competition.

For a while Mari stood trying to look interested, but as the discussion turned to gossip about what the winner in the hog competition possibly could feed his animal, she had enough. Viola waved her off and Mari slowly wandered through the market place on her own, enjoying the atmosphere. As she reached the other end of the market clanging noises reached her ears, and curiosity drove her further onwards.

She let the sound lead her away from the crowd and as she rounded the apothecary, she stopped in surprise, staring at the buildings in front of her. As everything in the Shire, even this looked quaint, despite it being something as messy as a forge. The actual forge was open to the yard she had entered and there was plenty of activity in there. Next to it was a rather large barn, by the look of things, converted to live in.

What really made her stare was not the fact that there was a forge in the Shire, because honestly, Hobbits needed metal work done as much as anyone else, but the fact that those who were running the business were Dwarves.

That she hadn't heard of in the stories.

She slowly ventured closer, peeking inside. Dwarves aside, she had never seen a real forge before, and she followed the work with interest. A young dark haired man was holding a piece of iron with tongs and an older grey-haired one was beating the living daylight out of it. As it turned orange in colour it was quickly put back in the coal mound, white-hot at its centre when the young man poked around in it.

The grey-haired man pumped the bellows for a while and then the iron came out again, was pounded on, and went back into the coal. They worked efficiently together, and soon she understood that they were making gate hinges. Large ones for farm yard gates. She could tell the two were aware of her presence, and she hoped they wouldn't be bothered by it. Considering the pace with which they produced the hinges, they probably weren't.

Metal hit water again, sizzling with frenzy, and the older man nodded in Mari's direction, causing the younger to turn and look at her. He said something in an oddly clipped language, as he glanced at the grey-haired one, and then he crossed the clay floor towards her.

“Good morning Miss. Can I help you?” he called out with an easy smile, dark eyes sparkling.

She smirked a bit as she realised who he was, and she sighed inwardly. Oh how she wished she could tell people back home that this was all real! It was astonishing though, to find Dwarves here, and not just any Dwarves but a particular displaced family. They shouldn't be, but they were.

“Don't mind me,” she replied and found herself unable to not smile back at him. “I don't have a particular errand actually. Just looking around.”

“Are you new here Miss?” he asked and tilted his head as his eyes went to her bare feet and then back up at her ears.

The scrutiny made her a bit self-conscious and she begun fingering a fold in her skirt.

“You could say that,” she admitted, wondering how she was going to explain her presence here.

“If you don't mind me saying so, you don't look much like a Hobbit, Miss.”

She smiled at that. Hello Mr. Obvious, she thought. “That would be because I’m not a Hobbit, master Dwarf,” she said, conscious that she should be careful revealing that she knew exactly who he was.

“That explains a few things, yes,” he grinned. “I'm Kili, at your service,” he added with a slight bow.

“And I’m Marigold Smith, but I’m usually only called Mari.” She curtsied, feeling absolutely ridiculous, but when in Rome . . .

“You have a somewhat Hobbit-like name though,” Kili said.

She nodded and glanced down at herself, feeling a bit like she had dressed up for a convention. “I suppose so, but I haven't heard of anyone taking a family name after your profession.”

The grey haired man called out Kili's name and Mari took a closer look at him and recognised him too. Dori. Did that mean Ori was nearby? It had to, she decided. Kili turned and then glanced back at her again.

“Go! I was only looking anyway,” she urged, shooing at him with a grin.

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Mari,” he said, gave her a quick nod and turned back inside, gripping the tongs again. They went to work on something new and the same process repeated itself, though this time they created the wicked-looking blade to a scythe. Kili looked up at her from time to time and grinned and her lips quirked upwards in response.

Dori gave her a once-over too and muttered something to Kili, who replied, and she got the distinct feeling she was being talked about. The discussion went back and forth while Kili kept eyeing her in the corner of his eye, until he turned to pick the metal out of the coals once more.

She took one step backwards to start leaving, when a hand on her shoulder startled her and she whipped around, facing Viola who smiled and nodded at the men inside.

“I see you found our very own Dwarves,” Viola said and turned her head back to look at Mari.

“I did. Didn't know there were any here. Don't they live in Ered Luin?” she asked and glanced inside again at the Dwarves hammering away.

“Some do yes. Quite many years ago, before I was born, a few came through here and decided to stay, and they've been here ever since in Tuckborough.” She nodded inside. “And I see the young ones have come back. That dark haired lad and his brother are travellers for the most part, but they prefer to be here in the Shire when they come back home.”

“Travellers? What do they do?” Mari asked.

“Young master Kili there is a fine archer and is a hired arm for merchants travelling between Ered Luin and Gondor in the south.” Viola turned and begun to slowly walking away and Mari followed her, after a quick glance over her shoulder.

“The poor lads lost their father at some point, and their mother was one of those who came here, bringing her boys. Right honourable lady that is,” Viola continued.

Mari scrunched her face and Viola chuckled. “I can tell you know something of this.”

“Sort of. Her name is Dis, isn't it?” Mari asked.

“Correct.” Viola nodded.

“Does their uncle live? Thorin Oakenshield?” She racked her brain for the year these Dwarves had gone off to Erebor. Viola had said the year was 2938. In the story they were to die in 2941. Three years left, she surmised.

Viola gave her a long thoughtful look. “He does, though he resides in Ered Luin.”

“Wow,” Mari breathed and stared unseeingly ahead. “It's so . . . fantastic that it's all here,” she mused quietly. “With a few alterations, of course. I knew Kili is an archer actually.” She turned to look at Viola. “Do you think we could go and visit Mr. Baggins some day?” she asked.

Viola laughed heartily. “Certainly. But I must warn you – he's rather shy and not much for novelty.”

Mari smiled. “I think he can handle guests for afternoon tea, don't you think?”

“Of course. We'll bring some of the others too. Make a proper family visit out of it.”

* * *

Mr. Baggins was exactly the disappointment she had expected him to be. Shy, as Viola had mentioned, and an entirely proper Hobbit. Mari found it utterly fascinating to study him and he wasn't unaware of her scrutiny, but it was almost painfully obvious that he had no idea of how to handle it.

“You're making Mr. Bilbo blush, Mari!” Prim whispered in her ear.

“Don't understand why,” she whispered back.

“Because you're a girl. He has always been shy around women and I don't think he'll ever marry. Although . . . He might out of desperation to keep the Sackville-Bagginses from inheriting this place.”

Mari turned towards Prim and snorted. “Right! Lobelia! I had forgotten about her.”

“That woman? She knows everything ever written in every letter you'll ever receive, before they're even written. Don't know why she is like that really. Mother says she was disappointed as a young woman, which is why she thinks Lobelia turned so bitter and angry.”

With a sigh Mari turned her eyes back to Bilbo. “Poor woman.”

“You sympathise with her?” Prim asked in disbelief.

“In a way, yes.” Mari's smile was sad. “I don't think now is the time to explain why. Perhaps later.”

People around them had finished their meal. Mari got on her feet, gathering plates and cutlery, stacking the plates high on her left arm, quickly working her way around the table.

“No, Miss Mari, there's no need for you to clear the table,” Bilbo begun and stood, though he wasn't quite sure what to do. She smiled warmly at him.

“Mr. Baggins,” she said and came to a stop in front of him. “I have done this for years back home. It's not a problem for me to at least help you clear the table. But don't worry, you still get to do the dishes.” She marched down towards the kitchen and once she was there, she rinsed the plates, forks, knives and spoons and stacked the plates properly.

As she came back to the table Bilbo was sitting down again, glancing at her through his eyelashes, and she couldn't help but fire off a wide smile at him when he forgot himself and openly looked at her. Bilbo's cheeks heated slightly and he looked down at the table in front of him.

“Mari, I almost want to chide you for making poor Bilbo nervous like that. It was downright mischievous of you,” Viola said as they had said their goodbyes and were on their way home.

Prim and Marge laughed and Mari smirked. “I simply smiled at him. And he's not as frail and sensitive as you think. He'll come around, you'll see. He's not marrying material, but he has other qualities.”

“Can you please tell us!” Marge pleaded, clinging to Mari's right arm.

“I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think Mr. Baggins need to hear about a potential future. _That_ would make him nervous,” Mari replied.

* * *

The trip to Bree turned into a family outing, just as the visit at Bag End had been. The journey was pleasant enough with decent weather and not too cold. Viola taught her how to handle the pony equipage and they all took turns on the box. By the evening they finally made it to Bree, and by now the weather had changed and it was pouring down.

Bree was a strange experience. Everything was the wrong size, and yet Mari felt she should fit. The Men really did look like herself, but she was like a child in size. The Took women didn't linger, but acquired a room for the night at the Prancing Pony and left the crowd, ordering food to their room. She had to admit that it was nice to get rid of the moist clothes and wash her cold feet. There would be other opportunities to look at the inhabitants and the place itself the following day.

The visit to the shoemaker turned out to be a rather good one. He had a pair of decent fitting shoes he could sell to Mari immediately, and he took her measurements for several different kind of footwear. She had been made aware that the Hobbits held dances in the Assembly Rooms in Tuckborough, so she ordered some light shoes for dancing. Sturdy leather boots lined with sheep's wool for the upcoming winter seemed like a good idea, and she threw in a pair of slippers too.

They agreed that the shoes were to be picked up by one of the Dwarves when they came by to pick up raw material and leaving goods next time. The shoes were paid for, making Mari feel guilty. Prim linked her arm with hers and led her off, trying to distract her. Mari didn't say much about it, but the Took family was sensitive enough to interpret what was in her eyes.

There were other things to look at and find. Mari needed socks and a specific kind of Elven thread was high on Viola's list. They slowly made their way through the village, stopping here and there to study something they found interesting. For the most part people didn't pay them any attention but a few times when someone threw them a glance, they reacted to Mari. There was something disconcerting about that and she shrunk back, ducking her head and quickening her step, pulling Prim with her.

When they finally left she sat watching the palisade with relief. It was nice knowing they were on their way home to the Shire. She smiled as she mused over the fact that she saw the Shire as her home. A week was all it took. She turned her eyes from Bree and looked towards the west, leaving it behind even in her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari is trying to adapt to Shire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'll be in a state tomorrow afternoon, I decided you're getting this chapter today instead. Enjoy!

The Assembly Rooms were quite impressive by Hobbit standards, Mari concluded as she stepped inside. The structure was not built into the ground but stood alone on the opposite end of the market place from the forge. There were several rooms in the building, but the one used for dances was a large hall at the centre of the building. It was lit well and decorated nicely according to the season, and along one wall was a buffet table with lemonade, ale, and wine. Perched on a dais was a group of musicians who already had begun playing. Some couples were dancing already and the rest were milling about, talking and laughing.

Prim linked arms with Mari and pulled her along, snaking through the gathered crowd. When Mari turned to look for Marge, she saw that she had been caught by one of the friends of the sisters', and they were eagerly chatting away. They moved slowly through the crowd, when she spotted something in the corner of her eyes that didn't seem quite Hobbit-like.

She turned her head and yanked Prim to a halt.

“Do the Dwarves often come to these dances?” she asked as Prim slipped close. Prim followed Mari's line of sight.

“Sometimes. When Fili and Kili are home. Ori doesn't go without them, and since those two are gone during the summers . . .” Prim replied as she leaned closer to Mari's ear.

“Blessed are we then,” Mari replied drily and Prim snorted.

“Oh you. Come along,” Prim said and tugged her onwards.

Soon she was on the dance floor, courtesy Prim’s and Marge's male cousins. The rest of the Hobbits seemed to be happy simply staring at her. It was a bit unnerving as she felt like something was wrong with her, the dress she was wearing, or that she was doing something very wrong.

“I feel like a goat in a dress,” she grumbled once she had been deposited next to Marge and Prim, by the last cousin. “Everyone is staring at me as if I was hopping around in their garden chewing on their lettuce.” She glanced down at her burgundy velvet dress, borrowed from the young woman living next door, who was a bit less buxom than the sisters. It still had required some needle work, around the waist in particular, for it to fit decently.

“People aren't used to you yet. It will come, I promise,” Prim reassured her and squeezed her arm.

“So this rule about two dances?” Mari asked and glanced at one her former dance partners, a unpretentious young man who had a wonderful sense of dry humour.

“Strict. Never do that. It will cause a scandal if you dance more than once with the same partner.” Marge waggled her brow.

“What? Dancing's that sensitive?” Mari shifted on her feet. If that were true, she'd most likely not dance any more this evening. What a bore.

“That and kissing in public. If it's not under the mistletoe,” Prim added and laughed. “Yule is a wonderful time if you have your heart set on someone special.”

Mari grumbled, “That horrible little plant.”

The sisters laughed and Marge said, “Oh, before you know it you'll find yourself considering it!”

Mari snorted but before she had an answer, the musicians began playing again and Marge and Prim were snatched up on the dance floor. Mari found herself slowly weaving through those not dancing. A bit uncertain as to what to do, she stopped and stood eyeing the buffet table, considering if she should get herself some ale. She wasn't exactly hungry, but the pastries looked tasty. She glanced at the dance floor, but didn't see Prim or Marge.

“Miss Mari!” someone called out, and she turned around and found herself facing the three Dwarves she had noticed earlier.

“Good evening,” Kili greeted her with a wide smile.

“Good evening, master Kili,” she replied and curtsied, again feeling ridiculous.

“How are you this evening?” he asked politely. She reigned in her smirk at his unmistakeable attempt at making conversation.

“I'm well, thank you. A bit on the bored side now that I've exhausted the selection of young men who will dance with me because they have the misfortune of being related to the Thain family, and have to be polite towards me.” She stepped out of the way of a group of children rushing past, keeping her skirts in a tight grip. The two brothers smirked in the corner of her eye.

“I was hoping I could introduce to you my brother Fili, and Ori, who is a distant cousin,” Kili continued, with a glint in his eye sparked by her dry humour.

“Fili, at your service,” the blond man said, bowing. “Ori, at your service,” the third said.

She noticed that Fili and Kili were both dressed in shades of blue, while Ori wore a lavender colour, verging on grey. All three of them wore various themes on shirt laced at the front, long vest, belt and was that leather trousers? Yes, it was. And boots, of course. The two brothers had subtle embroidered details on their belts and vests, and the shirts were woven with an exquisite pattern. It set them apart from Ori, who came across as more plain, not just in his general looks.

“Pleased to meet you,” Mari replied, smiling warmly at them and nodded. She couldn't find it in her to curtsey again.

Ori inched himself forward slightly, catching her attention. “I heard you recently came here,” he said, watching her with open curiosity.

She turned towards him and nodded. “I did. The details are a bit confusing, I’m afraid.” In the corner of her eye she noticed that Fili was eyeing her, first lingering at her ears and then he studied her feet.

She turned her head slightly and peered at him. “And no, I’m not a Hobbit,” she said.

Fili met her eyes and smiled. “That much is obvious,” he replied. “Forgive my intrusiveness, but it's rare seeing anyone here with shoes on their feet.”

She snorted and stretched her left foot out in front of her like a ballerina. “Not only that, they're tiny in comparison.” As she looked up, she nearly laughed loudly at the sight of the three men looking down at her foot.

A loud cheer erupted nearby and they all turned to find out at what was going on. It was a bit unclear what the cheering was about, but people were flocking, and Mari was shoved around a bit as curious Hobbits pushed past them.

The three men in front of her seemed generally unbothered by the commotion, probably because their sturdier builds weren't as easy to push around. Their attention came back to her again.

“Do you know how long you will be staying?” Ori asked as he turned his attention back to her.

In a way these were questions she preferred that people didn't ask, because she didn't know what to say. It made her entertain the prospect that she might never go home. As charming as this place could be, it was also light years from what she had grown up with, and sometimes this frayed her nerves. After a month here in the Shire she missed her home, despite all its issues, and it made her sad.

“I have no idea. I may never be able to go home,” she replied truthfully. The three of them grew very serious and she swallowed. Well, if anyone would understand her situation, it would be the Dwarves, she reasoned.

She glanced at the dancing couples again. A dance was really not the place for going into depth on the things that had happened to her, things she didn't quite understand herself. Being occasionally bumped into where they stood grated on her nerves.

“Can we just relocate some place a bit less crowded?” she asked with annoyance creeping into her voice, and stumbled slightly again as someone cheerily bounced into her and then moved on.

The three of them were nothing if not efficient. Within a minute she found herself just inside large open double doors leading to the kitchen, sitting on a chair with a flagon of ale in her hands. It was a strategic place, out of reach of anyone stumbling about, yet clearly visible to everyone. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she glanced at them, now seated in such a way that they could easily converse without anyone being left out. She looked down at the ale in her hand and opened her mouth to try to explain her situation.

“I don't know exactly how I came here, but I think I come from another world. I have no idea how to go back, or even if I can go back.” They glanced at each other and she shrugged.

“It could have been worse. I at least know about this world.” She told them about the stories she had grown up with, how she had read the books so many times that she knew passages by heart even.

“So, I know you, sort of. It's both amazing and slightly scary,” she concluded. She turned to Ori. “In our stories you're a scribe and you write books.” Shifting her head she looked at Kili. “And you are an archer, with a tendency to be... carefree.” Her eyes found Fili. “And you're the heir to Erebor, who looks out for your younger, somewhat... venturous, brother.”

“Is that a roundabout way of saying I’m reckless?” Kili exclaimed and straightened in his seat. Fili snickered at him and Kili tried to elbow him.

“You do have a tendency to get into trouble from time to time,” Ori said with a smile.

Kili threw up a hand, rolled his eyes and slumped in the chair.

“I think those things sound about right,” Fili said, catching Mari's eyes. “About us, I mean.”

She nodded. “It's such a strange thing, looking at everything, recognising it, and looking at you, and realising you're real.”

“Why don't you think you can go back home?” Kili asked, tilting his head slightly as he studied her.

Mari was quiet for a moment. How could she explain physics theories that she didn't completely understand herself, and that might not even apply to what had happened to her?

“I-I . . . don't think I can explain. The theories are beyond where my school education took me,” she tried to explain.

“You have gone to school?” Ori's eyes widened with interest.

“I have. Everyone is required to where I come from. I can read, write, I’m decent at maths . . . And there's history, geography, and--,” she paused wondering if they understood what she was talking about and then decided to be not so specific.

“We were taught about the world around us, how it works and how living beings function. I know several languages,” she continued.

The three men looked at her with astonishment.

“You're very well educated,” Ori finally managed.

She made a face. “I haven't gone to university though.” With a sigh she realised she didn't make sense to them. “Yes, it's probably pretty decent in this world. It's just that I could have gone further and gained more knowledge in a particular area – say engineering. You know, like building construction. That's something you should be pretty good at, at least from what I've heard of Khazad Dûm and Erebor.”

If she had sprouted three heads, they couldn't have looked more surprised. She looked down at her ale and remembered she should drink it. Distracting herself from the situation she brought the flagon to her lips and drank.

“If you don't mind, I would like to hear more about your world, Miss Mari. In more detail. I'd like to document it,” Ori said, and her eyes snapped to meet his over the rim of the flagon. She quickly swallowed.

“Of course,” she smiled. “I'd love to tell you.” She glanced at the two brothers. “I have a question of my own for you.” Her eyes came to rest on Fili. “If you don't mind me asking?” He gave her a nod.

“How come you ended up here in the Shire?”

Fili looked incredulously at her. “I thought you knew of this world,” he said.

“I do. It's just that some things aren't exactly as it's been told, and this particular bit is missing,” she explained.

“But you know about Erebor?” Kili asked, leaning forward looking intently at her, his hands on his knees.

She nodded. “Smaug came from the north, destroyed Dale, laid waste to the land around the Lonely Mountain and drove you all off.”

He nodded slowly. “When our father died, our mother told uncle she'd had enough of their way of life, always moving, always in conflict. She left with us to find somewhere peaceful and safe. With her came Dori, a distant cousin, who had been left in charge with Ori when their parents died.”

“I know Ori and Dori are brothers,” Mari cut in, glancing at Ori.

Fili met Ori's eyes and continued, “Uncle sent Dwalin along with us, just in case something happened. Dwalin is also related to us, more closely than Dori and Ori.” He turned his eyes towards the festive crowd.

“I remember it well; we came from the south and the Men's settlements down there, and we walked for a long time, until we came here. Kili was just little, but Ori and I thought it was an amazing adventure, if a bit hard on the legs sometimes.” Fili shot Ori a grin, who returned it.

“These aren't mountains, but it's better than the plains in the south, and it was safe.” Looking at Kili he asked, “Do you remember when we came here?”

Kili fired off a wide grin which made his eyes sparkle with mischief. “It's one of my first real memories. We hid on top of the apothecary shop and Dwalin was so angry with us when he found us!”

“And that was, what? Seventy years ago?” Mari asked with a slight smile.

“Almost,” Fili nodded.

“Amazing,” she murmured.

Fili and Kili arched their brows at her. “I'm just twenty-four,” she explained. “But we live much shorter lives. Perhaps until we're about a hundred if we're lucky. If I'd been a Hobbit, I'd be about thirty-five? I don't know exactly what age I'd be as a Dwarf. Closer to ninety, I think.”

They all looked a bit relieved and Mari gave them a long look. “Did you seriously think I wasn't grown up?” she asked and looked down at herself. She wasn't quite like most of the Hobbit women around, but she wasn't skinny and it had to be very obvious in the kind of dress she was wearing that she wasn't a child.

“Twenty-four is very young,” Fili said evasively.

“For a Dwarf yes. And I am young, just not _that_ young. I had work and my own place to live in back home.”

They glanced at each other and she sighed inwardly and had some more of her ale. She caught sight of Prim who was coming off the dance floor, furiously waving at her. She waved back with a smile. Prim started making her way over when she was intercepted by a young man out looking for a dance. With an apologising mien Prim followed him to the dance floor and now Mari audibly sighed.

“It's going to be a long evening,” she grumbled and looked down at the ale, wondering what these people would think if she got plastered. What else was there to do now?

“You could go home early,” Ori suggested, and she sensed his sympathy.

“Or you could dance with us and we could talk some more!” Kili said brightly, making her snort in her ale. She smiled brightly at him.

“If we spread them out a bit I could almost last until 11 o'clock,” she chirped.

“Better than going home early, if you ask me,” Kili replied.

“No one's asking you,” Fili smirked and the two brothers ended up shoving and aiming kicks at each other, forcing Mari to lean away from them a bit.

“Well, if that's what it takes to separate the two of you,” Mari sighed dramatically, put down her ale next to her chair and stood. “So, are you going to be the respectable gentleman and dance with me?” she asked, looking down at Fili. He smirked up at her and rose, offering his elbow.

“Of course, Miss Mari,” he replied and led the way to the dance floor.

* * *

Prim and Marge hovered in the background as Mari said good night to Ori, Fili and Kili and as soon as she turned towards the sisters they caught Mari's arms, leaning in close, whispering as they almost dragged her away.

“I saw you dance with the blond one!” Marge burst out.

“Oh, Marge, she danced with all three of them. Didn't you see that?” Prim asked her sister.

“His name is Fili,” Mari cut in, turning towards Marge.

“What did you talk about?” Marge pushed on.

“You gave Lobelia something to talk about anyway,” Prim giggled.

Mari rolled her eyes. “It was entirely proper. We talked about my home and how they ended up here in the Shire, about books, and a bit about their travelling, and I happened to dance a dance each with them, which was nice since no one else wanted to.”

“Oh but it's the Dwarves. Foreign people,” Prim said ominously. Marge giggled and then cleared her throat.

“Right. Well, I’m pretty foreign too,” Mari pointed out.

Prim and Marge laughed. “Even better,” Prim chuckled.

Mari sighed. “I'm very thankful for them being there, because it would have been pretty lonely, with you both up every dance.”

“I'm so sorry, Mari,” Marge said, looking a bit guilty.

“It's not your fault.” Mari nudged her in her side. “You want to hear about what I’m going to do tomorrow?” she asked.

“Of course!” both sisters exclaimed.

“I'm going to pay a visit to Dis, and speak with Ori,” Mari said.

“Which one is Ori?” Marge asked.

“It's the one who wears grey, Marge!” Prim scolded her sister. “Fili is the blond one and Kili is the dark one without a beard. You really should know by now!”

“Who can keep their names apart anyway?” Marge huffed.

Mari and Prim glanced at each other and smirked. “It's not _that_ hard. And it's lavender, not grey,” Mari said.

“Why are you going to see Ori?” Prim asked.

“He writes, and he wants to document what I have been through, and my world,” Mari replied. “And I thought it would be a very good idea to meet Dis. She's there in the stories, but just as someone everyone talks about. She's Fili and Kili's mother, and Thorin's sister, and she loses her husband, and then . . .” Mari stopped herself just in time. “. . . bad things happen.” She sighed. “I just want to meet her.” Before she loses everything, Mari added silently.

Prim and Marge sensed the shift in Mari's mood.

“Those bad things? They haven't happened yet, have they?” Marge asked.

Mari was silent for a few moments. “No. No, they haven't.”

“Mari,” Prim said quietly. “You know about other bad things too, don't you?”

With a sad smile Mari turned her head towards Prim. “Yes.”

“People dying?” Marge asked, horrified.

Mari stiffened. “We all die eventually, Marge.”

They walked in silence for a while, until Prim spoke up. “I can't imagine what it's like to look at someone and know when they'll die. I don't know if I could bring myself to seek their friendship.” Her voice was hollow.

“Well, we never know when death finds us. We make friends, fall in love, have children, and quarrel with family and friends without making up, put things off for another day anyway. We should live as if every moment were the last, but we don't.”

“I know some of the people in this world may tear my heart out one day, but they would even if I didn't know what's going to happen. And even if I weren’t to make friends with anyone in Middle Earth, I'd still cry when they died, because I know them. Not personally, but I know their story. I can just as well get to know them for real and cherish what I get.” Mari sighed. Her throat constricted and she really didn't want to talk about it any more. Tears prickled her eyes and she blinked to get rid of them and sniffled slightly. Marge wrapped her arm around Mari in wordless support as they continued home.

* * *

Dis was plenty of the things Mari had expected. She could be spotted as Thorin's sister a mile away, with the same dark hair, the prominent straight nose and the same presence – but a female version. There was one major difference though, Dis did not carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, and Mari got the distinct feeling that it had nothing to do with her not being the king in exile, but because she was made of sterner stuff. Mari was struck with the realisation that of the two siblings, the wrong one was the leader. She swallowed and dipped her eyes. This was something she couldn't say to anyone, she realised, but when she looked up, Dis smiled knowingly at her.

“Someone has to care for the future,” she said, as if she had read Mari's thoughts.

Ori's eyes had darted back and forth between them, but he didn't ask. Mari pressed her lips tightly together to keep words from escaping from her lips, and wasn't quite aware that her whole body radiated sadness, the very thing she didn't want Dis to know about.

“I hear you know about us,” Dis said, and Mari nodded, and told her story, aided by Ori who began asking questions, quickly scribbling away. He stopped her from time to time, making a small sketch and asking her to correct it, and she realised that not only did Ori write, he had a real talent for drawing as well.

“Wow Ori, these are amazing,” she said in awe as he put some drawings in her hand when she asked him about it. They were landscapes for the most part, but there always were people in them, sometimes in focus and sometimes as part of the landscape. She looked at each one of them and when she came to the last one, she blushed.

“It's me,” she whispered. It was from the evening before, when she was dancing. “You drew this from memory?” she asked.

Ori shook his head. “I always carry paper and coal,” he replied.

She looked at the drawing again. Ori did draw what he saw truthfully, but with an artistic flair, revealing how he saw her. She looked . . . full of life. With a pang she realised that there were no cameras in this world, and she couldn't capture anything around her. She hardly knew what she looked like these days. Yes, she had a mirror, but in contrast to her world, Middle Earth was not littered with reflective surfaces, catching your reflection whether you wanted them to or not.

“You can have it if you want,” Ori said shyly.

Her eyes snapped to him. “Oh, I mean, no, you made it. I was just . . . lost in thought there for a while,” she blurted.

Ori smiled. “I can draw more. You could sit for a proper portrait if you want.”

She smiled widely. “Which would require me to sit still for a very long time?” she asked.

“Not that long. And we could split it up in half hours to make it easier. It was some time ago I last had the opportunity to make a proper portrait.” Ori looked down.

Dis chuckled merrily. “You could never make Fili and Kili sit for that long,” she said.

“I managed to convince Kili to stand still for about ten minutes once,” Ori said almost triumphantly.

“I don't believe you,” Dis replied.

“I have proof. It's about to be printed so it's being engraved for replicating. You'll just have to wait.” Ori grinned at her.

“I'm looking forward to it,” Dis said drily.

“Ori,” Mari cut in, “I'd love to sit for you.” She started digging in her small pouch-like purse, pulling something out of it. “Could you . . . do something with this? Make a larger portrait I can hang on the wall?” She opened her old wallet, which she always carried with her, and pulled out a picture, handing it to Ori. He gaped.

“What's this?” he asked and looked up.

“Mum and dad,” she replied.

“No! I mean . . .” he help the photograph between them and turned it over. “. . . this.”

“Oh. Well, that's how we capture things back home. We have something called cameras.” Mari quickly explained the theory behind them. “And we can print those images and keep them,” she continued.

Dis leaned forward to get a closer look. “It looks like you cut out a piece of the world and flattened it,” she said.

“It's pretty much what it is, yeah,” Mari agreed and turned back to Ori. “It's the only memory I have, and even if I keep it safe, it will fade, or I risk losing it.”

Ori looked at her. “Of course, Miss Mari. I'll help you,” he said with a smile.

She flew up, rounded the table and gave him a hug. “Thank you so much!” she beamed.

Ori looked at her with wide eyes as she trotted back to her seat. “You're welcome,” he replied wanly.

“It's just one problem,” she said as she sunk down on the chair. “I can't pay you. I don't have anything really.”

Dis leaned over and put her hand on Mari's. “Don't worry about such things. You have lost everything child, and we know what it's like to lose things in life.” Grief passed over her face and Mari turned her hand and gripped Dis's. Their eyes met and they looked at each other for long moments, eyes brimming with understanding. Mari pulled a ragged breath.

“You will always be welcome here,” Dis said with a smile, and Mari nodded.

“Thank you,” she replied and their hands pulled apart. In the corner of Mari's eyes, she saw Ori study them solemnly.

The door to the kitchen flung open and the visage of Dwalin filled the doorway. He stalked inside and stopped behind Ori, looking at Mari, crossing his arms, assessing her.

“So yer Miss Mari,” he said.

A small smirk formed on Mari’s lips. So this was the ferocious Dwalin. Well, he certainly looked the part. “I am,” she replied.

He let his arms drop to his sides and bowed. “Dwalin, at yer service,” he said and there was a twinkle in his eye, which made her smile.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dwalin.” She gave him a nod with her head.

“I hear ye have interesting tales t' tell,” he continued and sat down.

She glanced at Ori and Dis, and begun retelling her story. Again.

* * *

Mari wove her way through the crowd at the market, smiling, greeting people here and there, and stopping to exchange a few words with a couple of the young women with whom she had struck up friendships. She got herself a few groceries and then stopped by a stall selling fabrics, eyeing the range of thicker fabrics. It soon would be winter and she suspected she needed to dress more warmly than Hobbits usually did, partly because she was Human, but also because she wasn't used to this kind of life. She let her hand run over a particularly wonderful fleece in a bright red, dreaming of a fur lined red cloak as she did.

“It would look very pretty on you,” a voice next to her elbow said. She turned her head and smiled at the young dark haired man who had planted himself next to her, grinning widely with his dark eyes twinkling.

“It's a wonderful colour. It would look amazing once the snow arrives, don't you think, Kili?” she said.

“I do,” he agreed.

She sighed and gave it one last pat. “Pity there's no use dreaming about it,” she continued and turned away from it, facing the crowd while she frowned slightly.

“Why's that?” he asked, turning with her.

With a sad smile she looked up at him. “I live on charity, basically. I know Viola and Isembard wouldn't want to call it as such, but it is. I feel like it is. I don't know if I can't make a living here, and I have nothing to fall back on, other than their kind hearts.” She sighed.

“Don't get me wrong. I have come to care for them a great deal and they treat me like a daughter, for which I’m incredibly grateful, but . . . it's a far cry from what I’m used to.” Eyeing the marketplace before her, she began slowly walking along the line of stalls, with Kili matching her pace.

“What do women do for work, where you come from?” he asked and added, “You spoke about having work back home?”

“Anything really. There are some occupations where it's more common to see women, but you find them building houses and in the army too, even if that's not what most would choose to do for a living.” She gave him a fleeting smile. “They are even working in mines and with metals.”

“Now, that is not particularly sensational,” he said with a grin. “Our women are known to be gifted in that area. Most other areas too, though perhaps not so much taking up the axe and sword, but they will if need be.”

“Then you're certainly more flexible than these people are. Aside from becoming a farmer’s wife, which I’m not too keen on, and doing some minor textile work, there's not much to choose from.” She wove herself through a group of children flocking around a candy stand, smiling as she went. A couple of the children began jumping around, calling for Kili.

“Master Kili! Master Kili!” they shouted, holding up their hands. He grinned and held out his arms and a boy and a girl jumped up and gripped each arm. Backing away a bit he swung them around until they laughed and shrieked as they hung on for dear life. A small group of fauntlings were forming, keeping a safe distance while shouting at Kili. He let the first two down and swung around two others. It wasn't the first time she had noticed that children were given more spontaneous attention and were having adults play with them, and it never failed to make her smile.

Eventually, when all of them had been given a swing around, he made his way back to Mari, waving at them as he went.

“Dwalin used to swing us around like that when we were children,” he said as they continued through the crowd. “And then we'd all jump on him and try to take him down,” he laughed.

“Did you ever succeed?” she asked.

He looked down at the ground and then peered at her with a grin. “We did. But not until much later.”

She nodded. Somehow she had no problem imagining the three of them suddenly making a surprise attack on Dwalin once they had grown tall enough to have a chance at taking him down.

“So what did you do back home? As work, I mean,” Kili reminded her.

“Oh, sorry. Lost track a bit there,” she replied, looking a bit embarrassed. “I was a waitress. Here that'd be a barmaid, I suppose.” She drew a deep breath and continued.

“I have been thinking about applying for a position at the Green Dragon. Partly because I want to see the owner's face when I do it, but it's one of the few things I can do. And I miss _people_.”

Kili smiled and nodded. “I think that's a very good idea, Miss Mari.”

She returned the smile. “Let's hope the owner is as open-minded as you. I fear it won't be easy convincing the Tooks though. It's complicated.” Stopping to take a look at what the fishmonger had to offer, she continued, “If nothing else they'll not like the late evening walks home from Bywater, but it's just a few miles. Doesn't even take an hour to go there if I take the short cut over the peat bog.”

Kili threw her a look. “It's not a swamp. Quite firm actually. I have checked,” she said with a grin.

He returned the grin with a nod and they walked for a while in silence. A quick glance told her he was mulling over something and was just about to ask what he was thinking about, when he decided to speak up.

“Miss Mari, they can't forbid you to take up an occupation. They're not your guardians and you are a grown woman. They may worry and wish that you didn't do this, but they can't stop you,” he said. “And as much as I agree that it's not wise to walk home late in the evening unarmed, I understand your reasons for doing this. I myself prefer to not burden anyone, which is why Fili and I are doing what we do.”

Mari smiled warmly at him. “Thank you. I suppose it's just for me to speak with them. Easy peasy.” She snorted at herself but sobered quickly.

“I often feel a bit out of place and not quite sure what's appropriate and what I should say to convince people around me about things that are important to me. I understand that this place is different and I’m trying to adapt, but it's not quite instinctive for me. It's not as simple as going back in time, seen from my perspective and where I come from.”

“If it's any consolation, misunderstandings occur between us who are born here too. They are probably less now between us personally and any given Hobbit in Tuckborough, but I often feel that there's a chasm between us and Elves, for instance.” He rounded a man carrying a basket who had stopped and now was chatting away with some friends.

“I would most likely both embarrass and insult Elves without knowing what I did wrong, and vice versa. So far, from what I've seen, you are doing well for having been here for such a short time. It's not even two months.”

“You really do know how to make encouraging speeches.” Her mood had brightened considerably by now, and she caught Kili's elbow before she remembered that giving him a hug in the middle of the market place probably wasn't the wisest idea.

Fortunately he simply adjusted slightly, and there they walked as if he was escorting her in a respectable manner as friends would. And he was, she supposed. Her face warmed slightly anyway because of the near faux pas but if he noticed, he didn't acknowledge it.

He simply smiled warmly as they strolled onwards.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari takes a first real step to integrate in the Hobbit society in her own way, and the Dwarves get a visitor. A family member.

Mari stopped and took a deep breath as she let her eyes wander over the building. The Green Dragon, a wooden sign announced. The discussion with the Took family had gone as predicted. They worried, but when she gave her reasons, they relented. Now she found herself in Bywater, feeling far too excited about it.

"Well, there's no time like the present," she murmured to herself and set off with a determined stride. Inside it was fairly dark and quite empty, something she had counted on. Slowly she stepped up to the bar counter and put her hand on the well-worn surface, stroking it with a smile. When no one materialised she leaned over to take a look at the other side.

It was in a bit of a state, as if someone had been putting flagons in place after bringing out the dishes. With a quick glance around the place, she slipped behind the bar and with her usual speed she sorted out the disarray and made the work space ready for customers. When finished, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips and smiled. Oh, how she wished she would be allowed to do this for real.

Someone clearing a throat made her jump and her eyes darted around the room. They landed on Reginard Rumble, the inn's owner, who stood in the doorway to what she suspected was the kitchen area.

"I can tell you've done that before, Miss," he said and crossed his arms over his barrel chest, studying her with a friendly interest.

Mari smiled and looked down at her hands, now clasped in front of her. "I have. Mostly carrying food and drink to dining customers, but I've been behind a bar too."

Mr. Rumble nodded and stepped up at the other side of the bar, leaning his hands on it as he continued to considered her.

"I have heard of you," he mused with a slight tilt of his head. "People say you were found unconscious on the road to Tuckborough, coming from nowhere."

She listened for suspicion and disapproval, but couldn't detect any, which spurred her onwards.

"That would be correct. Well, perhaps not the coming from nowhere part. I did come from somewhere. Just not from around here." She loosened her fidgeting grip and let her arms hang by her sides, squaring her shoulders while she met his eyes. She was here to make a good impression and it wouldn't do to start wringing her hands.

Rumble hummed. "So, what brings you here then lass?" he asked, peering at her.

She took a deep breath. This was it. It was now or never.

"I have heard you have a bit of a problem," she begun. "I heard this place is getting a bit too popular and that you could use an extra set of hands." She touched the surface in front of her and glanced over the mugs and flagons.

"If you know about me, I suppose you also know that I'm poor. I have nothing. And though I have been welcomed by the Took family, I . . . feel . . ." She paused and looked Mr Rumble straight in the eye. "I grew up in a world where you pay your own way. By working. So that's why I'm here. I'm not seamstress material, and I'm not particularly interested in marrying any time soon, but this," she let her eyes wander over the room, "I know how to do."

Mr. Rumble watched her for a moment and then he pushed back from the bar top with a nod.

"You're a brave lass. None of the other girls around would have come up with the idea to ask." He smiled kindly at her.

"And you're right. This is a busy place and I have long wanted help. If you think you can manage, I would be glad to have you."

Mari's eyes widened. "You would?" she said with a slight squeak in her voice.

Mr. Rumble nodded and his smile grew wider.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed and slapped her hand over her mouth. "Sorry, I mean, by the Valar, of course."

Mr Rumble laughed heartily. "Call any god you like lass. I'm not picky."

She grinned at him. "When do you want me to start?" she asked, trying to hold down her excitement but not quite succeeding. She was seriously tempted to jump up and down, but that wouldn't do.

He pursed his lips as he was thinking. "It's your decision, I suppose. I suspect you have people you need to inform about this and such."

"Of course, but we have already come to an agreement on this. I didn't think it was a very good idea to do this without discussing it with Mr. Isembard and Mrs. Viola first. What do I wear?"

"Something sturdy. I have aprons, so no need to worry about that," he replied.

She moved around the bar to stand in front of him. "I think I can start this evening already, if that's all right with you."

He put his hands on his hips. "Certainly. If you come by once afternoon tea is over, it'll be just in time."

Mari nodded vigorously. "Then I'll be here then!" she said. "Thank you!"

She was out the door in a hurry and Mr. Rumble looked after her with a small smile.

* * *

 

It had been no joke. The Green Dragon was brimming with people, and she had plenty to do, mostly moving around, taking orders and bringing said orders out and dishes back in. People were not so subtly taking in the novelty of her swiftly moving among the tables and through the crowd, but she didn't mind. It was lovely to be among people like this again, and her smile shone brightly on her face, never fading.

As the evening wore on and the crowd started to thin out ever so slightly, she spotted a group at the door she knew didn't usually come to the inn much – the Dwarves. Her hands were occupied with flagons she was carrying in an Octoberfest fashion, but she caught Kili's eyes, flashed him a wide grin, and quickly moved to rid herself of the burden. She almost bounded over to them as they stood awkwardly at the entrance.

Next to Kili stood Fili, smirking at her, and right behind them, Dwalin stood as a dark shadow, eyeing everything around him. Dori hovered slightly behind Kili with Ori at his side, the latter peeking around him with his usual curiosity.

"Hello gentlemen," she greeted them with a hint of sauciness, because she couldn't help herself. The three younger dwarves returned her smile readily, even if Kili and Ori offered them more freely than Fili did. "Would you like a table? Food or just drinks?" she asked.

"Some ale would do just fine, Miss Mari," Dori replied, bowing his head slightly with a small smile on his face.

"Then I have something for you. The latest brew was brought up just today and it's smashing, if I may say so. I'll find you a table," she said, turned and wove her way over to a fairly large table, a bit off to the side, which had just been emptied. With her hand she signalled to Mr. Rumble behind the bar who nodded and started filling up flagons. She snatched up the empty mugs and flagons as she straightened out the chair riot using her hips, knees and feet.

The men stood watching her for a moment before they followed her.

"She looks happy," Ori said as they hesitatingly made their way to the table. They sat down and she hurried off to pick up the ale, and returned carrying all five in her hands the same way as she had carried the ale when they arrived, thumping them down on the table.

"Thank you, Miss Mari," Fili said politely and reached out to grab one of the flagons.

"You're welcome. I hope it'll be to your liking," she quipped back.

"So, how's your first day?" Kili asked, wrapping his hand around the ceramic as he kept his dark eyes on her.

"Rumours spread quickly, I hear," she snorted.

"Aye, they do!" Ori cut in. "People were talking at the forge about it."

"And it brought you here?" She tilted her head and looked a bit embarrassed. "That's awfully nice of you."

Dwalin grumbled something not unkindly, while Dori smiled mildly at her. "It's the best excuse in a long while to come here for some ale," Kili said cheerily.

"And I'm happy to see you here!" she replied and flashed a smile at them, lingering with her eyes on Kili. "I'll be back in a moment!"

As she hurried off to clear tables and bring out some more ale for other patrons, Fili snickered over his ale.

"She's certainly happy to see you, brother," he said and eyed Kili speculatively.

Kili sneered at him. "Not more than anyone else," he groused.

Fili picked up the flagon and sipped on the ale, still with his eyes teasingly on Kili, who pointedly ignored him.

"Oh, this is surprisingly good!" Dori exclaimed, looking down at his flagon, before he had some more.

Ori and Dwalin tried theirs too and nodded in agreement.

"So, lads," Dwalin begun, "Will ye stay in these parts or are ye going back ta see yer uncle?"

Fili sobered and turned his head to look at Dwalin. "Believe it or not, but he's apparently coming here. He heard a rumour about Thrain."

Dwalin sneered. "Winter is coming on," he grumbled. "No time fer rambling about tha countryside."

Fili nodded. "Aye. I was hoping you could talk some sense into him. I'd be happy to join him in his search, but not in the middle of winter."

With another grumble Dwalin took another swig at his ale. "There's time yet. A visit to Bree fer some information would still allow him ta be back home before tha worst comes."

The others nodded and Kili's and Ori's eyes crept back to Mari, something that didn't go unnoticed.

"She's a pretty lass fer nawt being one of ours, I'll give ye that," Dwalin declared and turned his eyes to Kili and Ori.

"Good-tempered and kind too," Dori added. "Once these Hobbits get used to her, she'll not lack suitors, I think."

"I heard her say she wasn't very interested in getting married," Ori said mildly with his eyes still trained on her.

"She's young yet," Dori pointed out. "Is she even considered all grown up?"

"Though she's twenty-four, she's supposed to be," Ori replied.

Dwalin's laughter boomed over the room. "A wee bairn if ye ask me."

"Apparently her kind consider them as fully grown at eighteen," Kili added and threw Dwalin a glance.

Ori nodded. "Yes, she told me that too."

Dwalin frowned. "How long do they live?"

"Until they're somewhere between eighty and a hundred years old," Ori replied.

Dwalin shook his head. "Short lived creatures," he sighed.

"But she did say she had no idea if that would be true here. Apparently she used to be taller in her world. She woke up here almost a foot shorter," Ori continued.

Kili and Fili both frowned as they considered this.

"People don't just shrink like that," Kili said. Ori shrugged back.

"Magic," Dawlin declared. "Are ye certain that wizard wasn't seen nearby?"

"No one has seen him since summer," Dori said dismissively.

Dwalin picked up his flagon and pointed at them with it. "Magic. I'm certain of it."

They fell silent as Mari headed for their table once more.

"Was it acceptable?" she asked as she stopped between Kili and Fili.

"It was a very fine brew, Miss Mari," Dori smiled benignly.

"I'm glad to hear it. I've heard all this talk about Dwarven brew I worried that I had sold it with false advertising."

"Don't you worry about that, Miss Mari. If there are any folk who can match our own skill, it's the Hobbits," Ori assured her.

"I was meaning to ask, how come Dis didn't join you?" She turned to look at down at Kili and Fili.

"She had other plans for the evening," Fili replied smoothly.

Dwalin burst into his booming laughter again. "Ye could say that. With our lot out of tha house, she'd have some much deserved peace and quiet," he said fondly, and Fili and Kili snorted.

Mari grinned at Dwalin. "Then I'll pop by and visit tomorrow," she said. "I was thinking about bringing her something since she's missing out. Anything in particular she likes? Wine? Ale? Lemonade?"

Kili held up the ale in his hand. "She would appreciate this."

"Then I'll get her some," she said cheerfully and left to take care of more orders and dishes.

"Visiting mother?" Fili asked with a raised eyebrow and turned to look at Kili who looked as surprised as his brother.

"Oh yes," Ori said, "You keep missing it, but she has come by several times to visit Dis."

Fili shot Dwalin a questioning look and he nodded back.

"I think she feels a bit lonely among the Hobbits. They're nice folks, but she's not a Hobbit . . ." Ori looked down at his ale.

They all considered this as they watched Mari who cheerfully chatted with a small group at a table, before she cleared a nearby table.

Dwalin and Dori soon left, but Ori, Fili and Kili stayed until the inn was closing and once she had picked up her cloak and exchanged a few words with Mr. Rumble, she joined them outside in the frosty autumn night.

The walk to Tuckborough was a cheerful one. Mari told her companions stories from her old life as a waitress, which led to Ori asking general questions about all sorts of things. As they arrived at her home, she turned to thank them for joining her as she headed home.

"It was a lovely walk home, but I do hope you don't feel like you need to do this every night. I assure you, I can handle walking alone," she said, sending Kili in particular a pointed look.

"Are you carrying any weapons?" Fili asked matter-of-factly.

"She doesn't even have boots where she could stick a few knives," Ori said admonishingly to Fili.

"No Fili, I'm not carrying any weapons. This is the Shire. It's quite safe," she replied, smirking a bit.

"There is no place in Middle Earth that is completely safe from Orcs and Wargs. There are also Men travelling through the Shire, and not all of them are honourable," Fili said sincerely.

"Fili is right, Miss Mari," Kili added gently.

Mari looked at them in dismay. "But you can't do this every night! You have other things to do!"

"Not particularly," Kili shrugged.

Her shoulder slumped and a sigh escaped her. "Chivalry isn't nearly as fun as it sounds."

Ori studied her looking concerned. "Miss Mari, we care about you," he said quietly.

She smiled sadly at him. "I understand that. I really do. It's just that . . . it makes me feel silly. Not because it's you – I like you – but because I'm used to taking care of myself." She shrugged. "On the other hand, we don't have Orcs."

Kili tilted his head somewhat and peered at her. "Would you oppose to learning to handle a weapon?" he asked.

She looked up at him, a bit startled. "No. Well, in theory anyway. I have no idea how to use the ones common around here."

Kili's eyes gleamed at her and his grin grew. "Then we'll teach you. Between Fili and me, we cover all the hand-held weapons you'd ever need."

"You do, do you?" she asked drily. "I don't know if I would be any good at it, but if you think it's a good idea, I wouldn't mind learning. Thank you."

He lit up. "Excellent! Come by tomorrow, and we'll see where we need to start," he said with audible enthusiasm.

"All right then!" Mari nodded and stepped up to Ori who stood the closest, and gave him a quick hug. Then she moved to Fili, and finally she embraced Kili, bade them good night and stepped inside the house. The three dwarves stood staring at the closed door for a few moments.

"You think that's a custom of theirs?" Kili asked and glanced at the other two. "I mean, well, you know . . ."

"Yes, I think so," Ori replied and looked over at the other two. "She embraced me once before and I'm quite certain it was out of gratitude and nothing else," he continued.

Fili and Kili stared at Ori. "What?" Kili exclaimed, his eyebrows disappearing under his bangs.

Ori dropped his eyes to the ground. "I promised I'd help her with making a replica of a picture of her parents, that she can hang on her wall . . ." his voice trailed off.

Kili and Fili glanced at each other with a smirk and then Fili stepped over to Ori and cuffed his shoulder.

"Well then. Come on. Let's go home," he said and nudged Ori along as they set off in the direction of the forge.

* * *

Mari opened her eyes and immediately realised that the light was different. She frowned and turned her head towards the window and before her mind constructed coherent sentences, she scrambled out of her bed. Her feet got tangled up with the quilt and she slammed into the floor on all fours. Ignoring the pain in her knees she got on her feet again and hurried over to the window. The landscape outside was white and large flakes were falling from a milky grey sky.

A knock on her door made her jump and she half-turned towards it.

"Mari dear, is something wrong?" Viola called from the other side.

Mari broke out in a grin and bounded over to the door and tore it open.

"Not at all. I got clumsy when I was getting out of bed, that's all," she said. "It's snowing!"

Viola smiled back at her. "It certainly is! Early in the season too."

"We don't get snow much back home any more." Mari turned towards the window. "I want to just run outside now!" she exclaimed. With a few strides she was at the window and flung it open and leaned outside. Snowflakes landed on her head and she squinted up at the sky. Behind her Viola laughed heartily.

"Get dressed dear. Breakfast is waiting for you."

"Oh right." She pulled back and closed the window.

"I heard you were going to see the Dwarves today?" Viola asked.

"Yes, that's the plan. I'll take some of that ale to Dis, and the boys are so worried about my safety they have decided I need to learn how to defend myself." Mari picked up her old jeans and looked at them while Viola joined her, peering at the garment too.

"They're not ideal, but they'll have to do. I need to learn how to sew, I think." Mari sighed and put them down. "It'd be great with ones that are in a softer fabric, not that tight and higher in waist. These are just for fashion." She glanced at Viola.

"I bet you think I'm crazy. Wearing men's clothes."

"Nothing about you is ordinary. I sometimes think you perhaps would be a better fit with those Dwarves, but I'd grieve losing you."

Mari reached out and pulled Viola into a hug. "This has become my home and I don't see any reason to move. I only hope my ideas aren't giving you any trouble."

Viola rubbed Mari's back and replied, "It's called eccentrics dear, and it's perfectly acceptable, in particular since you're not from around here. You're polite and kind which matters in the long run."

"Now, get dressed so you can go outside," Viola said, pulling away, leaving the room, and closing the door behind her.

Quickly Mari pulled the nightgown over her head and rummaged around for her bra. With the bodices she normally wore, she didn't need it, but for the activities and clothes for this day, she definitely had to find it. Bra in place, she pulled a shirt over her head, put on socks and pulled on her jeans. To her surprise they were slightly on the loose side.

"How's it even possible?" she murmured out loud, staring at her jeans. She tucked the shirt inside, grabbed a knit sweater, and brushed her hair and teeth. With deft fingers she made a Dutch braid, tied it, and left her room.

Breakfast over, she pulled on her winter boots, tied a scarf around her neck, draped the cloak around her, pulled up the hood, and picked up her mittens. She waved goodbye and stepped outside with her little present for Dis.

She took her time to enjoy the snow, but the forge wasn't far away and she soon found herself in the yard in front of it. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. She stopped and stared at the closed doors to the forge. It didn't look like anyone had been there yet, despite the fact that it was well past when they usually begun their workday. They were early risers, and their absence was a bit alarming.

With a frown she turned towards the barn and continued to the front door, using the elaborate door knocker to announce her presence. The door flew open and Dwalin met her. She nodded and smiled at the large man gazing down at her.

"Good morning," she greeted him. "What a wonderful day it is today!" she exclaimed.

He stepped aside, and as she stepped past him he said, "Good morning lass. Tha snow's a bit early in tha season fer my taste," he replied politely.

She put down the ceramic flagon on a side table, shrugged off her hood and begun tearing at her mittens.

"Has something happened?" she asked, putting down her mittens and unwrapped the scarf. "You're usually in the forge at this time of day."

He secured the door and glanced at her. "Ye could say that," he replied.

"Is it serious?" She was now beginning to worry for real. "I hope no one's sick!"

Dwalin pulled his mouth into a slight smile. "Fortunately no."

She shed her cloak and kicked off her boots, and followed him to the large kitchen. As she stepped inside Ori and Kili brightened considerably and smiled at her, wishing her a good morning. Fili and Dori were more guarded – more than usual – and only nodded. Dis rose from her seat and met her, accepting the gift with a smile, ushering her to a chair.

She now realised there was a new face at the table and she smiled at him and greeted him as well. He only nodded but considered her carefully to a point when Mari started feeling uncomfortable. Kili decided to break the tension.

"Our uncle came last night," he explained and darted a glance at said uncle.

Yes, yes, I can see it's Thorin, she thought, but decided it wouldn't be one of her better ideas to say something like that out loud. Besides, she really didn't want to come across as sarcastic towards Kili. Though he sometimes was Captain Obvious, she didn't really mind and she didn't want to come across as mean.

"Thorin Oakenshield, at your service." He bowed his head slightly.

"Mari Smith. At yours," she quickly added and imitated his bow.

He was intimidating. There was no other word for it and she darted a glance at Dis, who was up to some wordless communication of the more austere kind with her brother.

"So this is the mysterious woman everyone is talking about," Thorin said. Mari knitted her brow and turned back to him, instinctively disliking being talked about in her presence. To her surprise his features had softened and he was regarding her with kindness. Well. Maybe it was just the way he said things. She smiled weakly.

"This is the Shire, sir. People talk if Ponto Proudfoot's hog breaks out of his pen."

Thorin chuckled and Mari started to breathe a bit easier.

"I'd say it's a bit more than that," Dis said. "It's a rare thing for someone to appear seemingly out of nowhere, who's like no one anyone has ever seen."

Thorin was scrutinising her again, his eyes lingering on her small ears, and her comparatively thin frame.

"Each and every race has its specialities, so what is yours?" he asked in a straightforward manner that made her smirk. It wasn't that easy answering though and she ended up looking down at table. "We don't have a particular inclination. Not like you or Hobbits have. I suppose my kind is good at quarrelling though." She looked up with a faint smile. Thorin cocked an eyebrow.

"We're individually good at something, for the most part anyway, but as a species? No, nothing in particular."

"And yours is?"

"I don't know yet. I'm still quite young, and I have no specific education." The cross examination made her feel a bit cornered. She hadn't actually done much in her life. Aside from a few short holidays in remote parts of the world, she hadn't travelled much. Moving to another country was perhaps a bit out of the ordinary, but it wasn't as if she had done anything different in her new life. She hadn't studied anything in particular. When she scrutinized her life she had to admit that there wasn't much to say about it at all, and it stung.

Thorin let his eyes wander over the younger men, who were seated together opposite Mari.

"You are not alone in this, and I fear an entire generation will be lost," he said, more to himself than to her. She smiled and ducked her head and gnawed on her lower lip to try and hide it.

"You have somethin' to add, Miss Mari?" Dwalin rumbled and she could he was teasing her. She made an effort to reign in her smile and lifted her eyes to look at him.

"I know your past, but I think it's a touch harsh to speak about lost generations." She turned to look at Ori, Fili and Kili. "They have a different life than they would have had, but that doesn't mean it needs to be all that bad." Her smile grew as Kili flashed one of those brilliant grins at her. She tore her eyes away from the boys and let them settle on Thorin, her smile being replaced by sincerity. Her inner debate raged a few seconds before she continued speaking.

"Don't throw away that which is good and here right now for glory you will never live to see," she suddenly said. When the words left her mouth she wished she could take them back immediately and she ducked her head again.

Silence reigned heavily over the table and Mari closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It had definitely sounded better in her head, and not nearly as harsh.

"I apologise," she managed quietly. "I mean no offence."

Thorin hummed but didn't offer anything else for a while. Chairs scraped around her and as she surreptitiously glanced around, she saw everyone but Thorin stand and file out of the kitchen. Her heart sank. The door closed and the silence was almost deafening.

"Dis tells me you have the power of foresight," Thorin said with a carefully neutral voice.

"I wouldn't say that." She kept her eyes on the table in front of her.

"But you know of things that have yet to happen." It was a statement, not a question.

She finally raised her eyes and looked straight into his. "In my world, yours is a fantasy story. As I have brushed up on the history of Middle Earth I have come to the conclusion that what I know is correct to a certain extent. Sometimes it's exactly as I know it, sometimes it's not. Details differ. Things that should have taken place in some cases haven't. Maybe they'll happen later, maybe they'll never happen."

Thorin nodded, but kept his steady gaze on her. "You clearly know about me."

Mari shrank back slightly. "I really didn't mean to say anything. I try to stay away from meddling and talking about what I . . . know. It's a good idea to remember that we can mess up spectacularly, and I really try to keep that in mind. Good intentions are . . . dangerous. Sticking to some kind of Prime Directive around here would be a good idea; where I keep my mouth shut and don't try to influence people." She sighed. "And now I'm babbling. Do I make any sense here?"

"You are a peculiar being," Thorin mused.

She snorted. "Everyone is side-eyeing me because I'm not like anyone else. I don't even curse properly."

"Dis has taken you to her heart and speaks fondly of you. The lads are approving by the looks of things."

"Dis has been kind and to be honest, it's a bit of a relief to sometimes get away from all this proper nonsense the Hobbits are obsessing about. You can't do this and you shouldn't do that. It clashes with what I grew up with, to put it mildly."

He leaned back against the backrest and cocked his head slightly to the side. "Though you have been in my presence less than ten minutes, yes, I can tell you are of a different kind."

"Good or bad?" she asked.

"That remains to be seen."

Mari nodded. "I'd say that's a pretty wise attitude." She smiled momentarily and then she grew sombre again, regarding Thorin. He met her eyes and their gazes were locked until Mari dipped hers, pressing her lips tightly together in an attempt to stop herself from revealing more. She shouldn't say anything. At least not until it was absolutely unavoidable. Thorin didn't seem to wish to push it at present though, for which she was thankful.

"They are waiting for you," he said quietly.

Mari looked back at him with obvious confusion.

"Kili and Fili have informed me that you are to be taught how to defend yourself," he clarified.

Her eyes went wide. "Oh right! Yes!" She grinned. "The Shire is apparently deemed an unsafe place, and my skills are lacking."

"Unfortunately they are not wrong. Evil tends to come seemingly out of nowhere and in the safest of places." His eyes seemed to gaze right through her, seeing something else.

Mari's smile vanished and she nodded. "I suppose you know a lot about that."

"That I do," he sighed. Mari rose and gave him a slight nod.

"Sir," she said quietly, to which Thorin nodded, and she slowly headed for the closed door. On the other side stood Dis, Dwalin and Dori. She snorted quietly as Dori and Dwalin tried to pretend they had been casually lounging around, and not at all eavesdropping. Dis smiled at her and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it for a moment before she slipped inside the kitchen again. Dwalin and Dori were hot on her heels, leaving her standing alone. With a sigh she continued onwards to the front door in hopes of finding the three younger men.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important revelations are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to not be that easy to write, and it has been emailed back and forth between me an my beta several times, which partially explains why you had to wait this long for an update. It's both plot and character interaction heavy, and so far the longest chapter of them all.

Gone were the carefree days when Mari acted like herself when spontaneously visiting the forge. In fact, she wasn't spontaneously visiting much at all. As if Fili and Kili felt her unease they often took the exercises elsewhere, though she would take a moment to see Dis before they set out. Otherwise she stayed away.

Thorin's presence chafed like a cheap new shoe. Despite her best efforts, she couldn't help showing some of her uneasiness. No one commented on it, but she had a feeling everyone was aware of it, much like the infamous elephant in the room.

Work was a refuge, and she enjoyed her walks home, with Ori, Fili and Kili taking turns accompanying her. But pretty soon she started to feel the discomfort with them as well. They simply couldn't discuss things without Thorin coming up and she saw the way they looked at her when she tensed up.

Thorin's arrival again brought up the question of how she had ended up in Middle Earth and if she possibly could find a way out back home. She briefly considered seeking the opinions of any of the wizards, but decided they probably couldn't help her, despite their magic. As she racked her brain she couldn't recall any of the wizards being able to actually travel distances in ways other than ordinary people, and most definitely not between worlds.

Thoughts of home wouldn't leave her be though, and she continued to ponder the problem. A few times the idea crossed her mind that this wasn't simply a parallel world but something entirely different, but every time she pushed it from her consciousness with determination. She didn't believe in an afterlife. It was simply children's stories or religious beliefs, and she was neither a child nor religious.

In the corner of her eye she noticed the younger Dwarf generation watching her with concern. Prim and Marge did their best to cheer her up by always including her in their social life, which despite the somewhat limited Hobbit society, wasn't so bad. Her fear of having to bring along a basket full of knitting she'd never finish subsided when she realised the younger Hobbits, those about to come of age or recently had done so, were much more interested in reading, talking and playing games.

After a few weeks of exercises with Fili and Kili she found herself showing some of her lessons off to an awed crowd, consisting of cousins of Prim and Marge, as well as a select few of their childhood friends. Thorin may have put a damper on things, but she still had moments when she enjoyed her life and she found herself thinking that perhaps she could live with never finding a way back home.

However, every time Thorin laid his eyes on her, watching her without offering a word, she felt the pressure. She should perhaps have been angry with this silent treatment, which she was certain had to do with what she knew about this world. But she wasn't. It only made her uncomfortable looking at him and remembering that in a few years' time, he would be dead, and with him Fili and Kili.

Numerous times she was about to speak up, but stopped herself, worried that she would put the entire world at risk by telling him what he wanted to know. On the other hand, she did know things people around her didn't, and it caused her entertain the idea that she should stop some of the blatantly idiotic decisions. When her thoughts strayed in that direction she tried to nip it in the bud, but it kept whispering at her.

It made her sigh and turn her eyes away from Thorin and morosely stare at the floor or fire until she couldn't stand his gaze any more. When she walked home, the adventure stories she had read once she had learned to read surfaced in her memory; stories about boys and girls much younger than she was now, who conquered their fears and changed the lives of the people around them. In particular those who had died and found themselves in foreign fantasy lands, far, far away from where they grew up.

No. She had not died. She couldn't have. She couldn't accept it. But her treacherous mind would whisper about the pains and aches she'd had when she woke up. How did those happen? Had she tripped on her own shoelaces? She could break her neck that way, hitting something she had missed as she turned around apologising. Her hand went to her neck and she shook her head. No, it was a one in a million risk. Surely not that had been her fate? Besides, if she were dead, how could she be here?

She started to make excuses to get away from even the exercise. Thorin's eyes followed her everywhere, even through his nephews, and they made her think more and more about why she was in Middle Earth. For a week she only saw any of the Durins when either Ori, Fili, or Kili stepped through the door to the Green Dragon, ready to walk her home. She forced a smile on her face and tried to be her usual self – easier with Ori, harder with Fili or Kili.

One evening as she was heading home with Kili, he true to his character, spoke up.

"Miss Mari, may I ask something?" he begun, slightly hesitantly. She tamped down a sigh and stopped on the path, turning towards him.

"Yes, ask away." Something feeling like an ice block slowly formed in her belly as she met his serious eyes, regarding her solemnly for a moment.

"I can tell uncle is making you uncomfortable, but I don't understand why." He paused and made an aimless movement with his hand. "It's affecting all of us. I know I'm speaking for both my brother and Ori when I say it saddens us to see you shy away."

Mari hung her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that," she murmured and momentarily closed her eyes.

"Then, will you tell me what is wrong?" Kili pressed on, showing his concern openly.

She breathed a bit just to study the vapour coming out of her mouth, illuminated by the light he carried, before she spoke.

"I have known about this world more than half my life. Well, I didn't know you actually existed, but I knew about the story." She looked up and Kili nodded. This was old news but he didn't show any impatience, only watched her intently.

"Dis has told your uncle I have the gift of foresight, which strictly isn't true. But I read the books, all of them, and though there are some differences, and I may have forgotten a detail or three, I . . . I know what's going to happen. Your uncle . . . feels the loss of Erebor very strongly. Probably more than you understand. It's with him every waking hour." Slowly she pulled the cloak around her more snugly, as if it was armour she hoped would shield her.

"He wants to know what I know." She watched the vapour again, waiting for a response from Kili. He pondered her words for a moment.

"Why can't you tell him?" he asked.

Mari bristled slightly and she looked away in attempt to hide it. His eyes narrowed. "It's bad, isn't it? That thing you said the morning after he arrived . . ." his voice tapered off.

"This doesn't just concern him, Kili, but a great many other people. The long story short, Smaug must be ousted, but it will cost dearly." She turned her head back to Kili, and her eyes bore into his. "Very dearly."

She knew she betrayed more than she should allow him to see, but had she been better at this, she would have been a professional poker player, not a young woman lost in a fantasy story. All of it was pressing on her, Thorin's burning wish to know the future, her struggle with her knowledge and what to do about it, and why she was in Middle Earth in the first place.

Her eyes wandered from Kili and strayed upwards at the stars and tears rose in her eyes. An intense longing hit and words from one of her childhood books crossed her mind. _In Nangijala, it's still the age of camp-fires and fairy tales, and it's where you go when you die._ Closing her eyes, the tears slipped down her cheeks.

I'm dead. No, I really am. That must be it, flashed through her mind.

She didn't somehow find a spot where their universes touched. She found herself here because she died. The one in a million chance death really had happened to her. This was her magical fantasy land because she had hoped it existed as she read the books, and now she could admit that she had believed it to be a real place.

"Oh my God," she breathed as an indescribable ache bloomed in her chest. Her legs gave out underneath her and she started sinking to the ground, but Kili's strong hands gripped her and held her upright. She tried to convince her legs to cooperate, with little success.

"Are you well?" Kili asked with his eyes wide with worry.

She gave him a half-sob, half-laugh, as reply. Without hesitation he scooped her up and strode down the path with her in his arms. She wanted to tell him she was okay, that she could certainly walk, but she couldn't make herself say it. Instead she buried her head in his coat and cried.

Dazed, she registered Viola's concern when she opened the door, letting Kili inside. He settled her down on her bed, caressed her hair gently as he looked down at her with an encouraging smile that didn't mask his concern very well. It warmed her to see it despite the misery she felt and she reached out and squeezed his hand and managed a faint smile through the tears, feeling horribly embarrassed about her state.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't you worry about it," he replied and pressed her hand back. Viola came into view.

"Dear, I'm just going to exchange a few words with Master Kili and then I will be right back," she said. Mari nodded. Kili and Viola disappeared and Prim and Marge sat down next to her, and Prim took her hand, pressing it tightly with eyes wide with worry.

Kili headed towards the front door with heavy steps, and Viola trailed in his wake. He came to a stop in the airy hallway and half-turned towards Viola.

"I worry about her," he admitted. "There's nothing physically wrong with her, as far as I can tell, but . . ." he went quiet.

Viola nodded and wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders. "Your uncle's arrival has not been good for her peace of mind." She hesitated momentarily, then continued. "I must say I don't approve." She was openly annoyed as she continued. "There's nothing wrong with the rest of you lot, but your uncle . . ." She shook her head angrily.

"Just because the girl may know a thing or two about what's to come, that's no reason to act poorly. Oh, I know he hasn't said anything, but he's intelligent enough to let someone know what his wishes are without using words."

Kili hung his head and clenched his hands into fists and Viola sighed.

"He has his reasons, that's all I can say," Kili quietly said.

"Surely you don't approve?" Viola asked and her eyes narrowed.

He looked up and his eyes widened. "No. No, I don't approve, but that doesn't matter much, does it?" He sighed. "I'll talk to mother."

Hesitantly he turned to look down the corridor leading inside the smial. "Take good care of her," he said.

"She's in the best of hands," Viola retorted and smiled reassuringly.

"Miss Mari deserves nothing less." With that he turned and disappeared out through the front door.

Viola hurried back to Mari's bedside.

* * *

Dis knocked on the door leading to her brother's chamber and at his muffled reply she opened it and stepped inside.

"So it's here you're lurking," she said cheerfully.

Thorin sat in a large armchair in front of the fire, rigidly watching the fire. He clearly was brooding, but Dis took no notice. She moved another chair around for her to sit on, in such a way that she could look at him comfortably without turning her head. His eyes followed her movements but he betrayed nothing of what was on his mind.

"Brother, you must cease with this pressure you're putting on Miss Mari. No one in this world understands you better than I, but I cannot allow this to continue," she said, speaking with a clear voice, yet quietly.

"I have not uttered a single word after our first meeting," Thorin grumbled.

"Don't pretend to be innocent. I know your ways. The girl broke down this evening on her way home and Kili had to carry her the rest of the way." She sighed. "It probably means she knows exactly what you wish to know, but this cannot continue. She has her reasons for not speaking up, and we must respect those."

Thorin winced and stared down at his hands. "I know her reasons. She told me."

"Then let it go brother. She's as displaced as we are, but utterly alone in this world. Imagine how exposed she must feel, only because she knows of things that have yet to happen."

He gave her a long look, which she calmly met. "Go to Bree. See what you can find out about father, and go back home. Leave this child alone," Dis continued.

A twinkle in his eyes and a slight roundness of his cheeks gave away his amusement. "Sister, be careful to not let her youth fool you. She's no child, as your sons and Ori are well aware of."

Dis huffed and looked slightly uncomfortable. "They wouldn't dare."

Thorin chuckled. "Oh I think they would. Remember, Fili will turn 80 in spring. Just how old were you when you married, love?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "At least Fili should know better," she finally said.

He nodded slowly and sighed. "If for nothing else, I must find a way to gain our home back for him. The way we are scattered it's near impossible to find someone fitting for him." The implications of his words hung between them.

"You should take him back with you to Ered Luin," she said.

"And with him goes Kili. Ori most likely too. And with Ori, goes Dori. You could just as well pack your bags and go with me, all of you."

"Maybe that's for the best," she mused.

Thorin leaned forward, resting one elbow on his knee and reached out to catch her hand. "You do as you see fit, but remember the reason you came here in the first place." He paused for a few moments, looking at their joined hands. "I'll see what I can do in this matter. If I'm successful she could come for a visit. Our family has the weight of being who we are after all and that should tempt someone."

Dis eyes softened and she reached out and caressed his cheek. "I only wish fate hadn't been so hard on you, brother."

"It was worse for Frerin," he replied solemnly.

She nodded. "Still, it wouldn't hurt to think of yourself. It wouldn't mean you would abandon your people nor your goal. We are few, you know this, and that should be your concern as much as winning back our home."

He flinched slightly.

"I'm old, Dis."

"You are king, Thorin." Her demeanour was almost severe as she spoke.

"We've had this discussion many times. Must we have it yet again?" he pleaded.

"Yes, we do, and we'll have it until you are in your grave," she said firmly. "Because you have waited this long, Fili would still be your heir, but with a child of your own, it would lessen the pressure on him and make certain the line of Durin continues. You know what would happen if you both were to die childless. I would not wish to see our cousins from Iron Hills take what's rightfully ours, benefiting even more from our fate."

"May I point out that you have two sons? Kili could father a child too." His eyes twinkled with amusement.

Dis sighed. "With you, our king, and his brother, the heir, unmarried, I doubt he'll manage that, charming as he may be."

"You worry too much." Thorin pressed her hand.

"With you as a brother, how could I not?" she retorted with a smile. She pulled her hand from his, stood and put it on his shoulder.

"Stop frightening Miss Mari, find yourself a lady to marry, and I promise I will stop pestering you." She pressed his shoulder and headed for the door.

* * *

Mari was sitting listlessly in the kitchen with her breakfast. For once she missed coffee as she gazed down at the cup of tea in front of her. She raised her eyes and stared out through the decorated window at the winter outside. Yule was coming up but she didn't feel festive in the least, especially not after what had happened the night before.

Once Kili was gone she had allowed the dam to break, and had poured her heart out to the family she lived with. Isembard's questions had kept her from going into hysterics and howling, for which she had been grateful. Her grief had become a dull ache inside and the stabbing sensation almost making her panic had subsided, leaving a slow trickle of tears streaking her cheeks.

Prim stayed with her after the others went to bed and they snuggled up close to each other, as she cried until she couldn't cry any more. Sometime before dawn they finally fell asleep. She had awakened when Viola had roused Prim to ask how the night had been, and after that she couldn't go back to sleep. Prim had dragged herself out of bed to join the breakfasting family while Mari stayed in her room, looking through the window at the white landscape outside. Slowly she picked up the pieces of herself, put them back together, and stuffed the hurt in an imaginary box, putting it away for now. She had a life to live here and she had to get on with it. With a deep breath she braced herself for the rest of her life.

The morning was slow. It was like she acquainted herself with this world all over again, and she found herself constantly pausing to gaze at ordinary things, with her mind replaying the past months. Eventually she had sat down, determined to eat breakfast. As she poured herself a cup of tea she remembered the one who had been faced with her breakdown – Kili.

If crippling grief had ruled the evening, the morning came with the reminder of her embarrassing behaviour towards him. She wasn't prudish, not at all, and he was nice enough, but being carried because she had been reduced to a blubbering mess, that was mortifying. It would not happen again, she promised herself.

She also suspected he was a bit more gallant than strictly necessary towards her, and it made her sigh. He was going to die, she reminded herself – at least according to what she knew about the events to come. Her traitorous mind whispered back that she had the power to change that, making her growl at herself. What if her words and actions made everything worse? _But you're stuck here_ , her mind whispered, _and with the knowledge you have, you can strike against evil from a direction it isn't expecting_.

For long moments she simply breathed with closed eyes, trying to push the thought away from herself, with little success. There's no fate, she insisted, as she debated with herself. Fate can't be changed, only met, after all. Determination made her open her eyes and she squared her shoulders. Yes. She would try to change this world.

She had to be smart, and work quietly, staying under the radar. With a wince she realised she would have to become serious about weapons training. It wasn't horrible, but she wasn't very good at it. The Dwarf weapons were too large and heavy for her, but if she worked on her strength a bit perhaps . . . .

With a sigh she picked up the tea and carefully sipped the hot beverage. A determined knock on the front door made her jump and spill tea over the plate in front of her. Scowling, she put down the cup and rose from the table, making her way to the door, dreading what the open door would reveal. Kili, most likely. Possibly Ori. And if it was Dis . . . she would cry again. Slowly her hand reached for the handle on the door and then stopped in mid-air.

"Get on with it," she murmured to herself and her hand wrapped around the handle.

"Good morning, Miss Mari," Kili exclaimed cheerfully, as she opened the door, finding not just him on the doorstep, but also his uncle, Thorin. Silently she thanked unnamed powers who had compelled her to dress before breakfast. Her smile was on the nervous side and she tried to keep her attention on Kili, but her eyes darted to Thorin for a moment anyway.

"Good morning," she echoed and stepped aside to allow them indoors. The cold outside was washing over her, and she could tell temperatures were dropping. It was like a freezer outside.

"Please. It's really cold outside," she managed, and the two men stepped inside, allowing her to close the door behind them.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked. "I was just having mine and there's enough for you as well." She couldn't help snorting at herself. "I'm turning into a Hobbit, I think."

Kili toed off his boots and removed his coat. "I could think of nothing better than something to eat," he replied, his smile never faltering. She realised he was trying to cover for his uncle who was hovering around a bit like the Groke nearby.

She led them to the kitchen and urged them to sit down as she picked out plates, cutlery and cups for tea and placed them before the guests. Sinking down on her chair, she reached for her napkin to clean up the tea related mess on her plate, before gripping the teacup firmly to steady her hands.

Kili dug in with his usual vigour while Thorin slowly and deliberately poured himself some tea, not sparing her a glance while doing it.

"How are you doing this morning?" Kili asked kindly, studying her.

"I'm fine, thank you." She sighed. "I apologise for yesterday. I didn't mean to dump my shit on you."

For a moment he looked like she was speaking Greek and she snorted quietly at herself again. "I'll rephrase that. I should not burden you with my issues. There. It might not seem like it sometimes, but I did actually learn to speak properly at one point."

In the corner of her eyes she noticed Thorin's unwavering gaze on her, but she managed to ignore him.

"No, no, I understand perfectly well. Your wording is colourful sometimes, but I do understand." Kili flashed a bright grin at her.

She snorted more loudly and some of the tea escaped the cup and dropped on the plate. She caught the last drops with her finger, and she surreptitiously licked her finger as she turned her attention from her cup to Kili. "Colourful, eh?" They grinned at each other, and Mari admitted to herself she was actually happy to have him there. Kili could brighten any mood, and the misery and embarrassment eased somewhat, and her determination to change this family's lives hardened.

Thorin clearing his throat brought their attention to him. Mari pressed her lips tightly together and turned her eyes to the tea cup in front of her. It wouldn't surprise her if he thought she was making eyes at his nephew and she could easily imagine exactly how he felt about that idea.

"Miss Mari, I have come here to apologise," he said calmly.

She held her breath and turned to look at him with wide eyes. For a moment she wondered if he ever turned off that intimidation thing he had going. Apologising he may be, but it didn't exactly put her at ease.

"I heard about what happened last night, and it grieved me to hear my behaviour has affected you in such a way. Believe me when I say I never intended for you to feel this uncomfortable," he continued and dropped the façade and sat there looking tired and mournful. It was the real deal, she realised. Slowly she released her breath.

"Thank you," she replied lamely and then looked down at the cup in her hands again.

"That wasn't what made me break down yesterday though," she added softly. "Well, it didn't make me feel any better about it, but . . ." Pausing for a moment, she gathered her thoughts. The black hole inside of her threatened to consume her again, but she resolutely pushed it down. Not now.

"I believed that I had somehow found a way between our worlds, that this was a parallel world of some kind. In theory that would mean there's a way back." Her eyes found their way to Thorin's.

"I have struggled with this since I came here, trying to figure out how to make it back home, just like . . ." Dorothy, she added silently as she realised she'd have to explain the Wizard of Oz and decided that would have to come at a later date. Too bad I don't have her shoes, but then again, Dorothy hadn't been dead, she mused.

"I can't say exactly when I started suspecting something completely different, but yesterday I finally accepted the truth, that there's no way home for me . . ." She heaved a deep breath in an attempt to get rid of the thickness in her throat, before she continued, "I died, which means I've lost everyone back home, and that there's probably a reason for me being here at this time." She shifted her gaze to Kili, and then back again to Thorin. "It's slightly overwhelming."

Carefully she put down the cup and clasped her hands in her lap, looking down at them. "I'm terrified of doing the wrong thing, because it's so important and so many lives are at stake." Her eyes darted over them both. "Just let me . . . stew on it for a while, all right? There's still time, I think. A couple of years or so."

Silence reigned for a while, but for once she didn't feel uncomfortable. Both Thorin and Kili seemed taken aback by what she had told them. Thorin had his eyes nailed to the table before him, while Kili watched her with a mix of concern and empathy.

After nearly a minute Thorin raised his eyes and revealed the indecision he was battling. Mari took pity on him.

"Go on. Ask," she said softly.

He sighed and he glanced away for a moment. "I don't think you're treating me poorly. Never did. I understand why you want to know, and while I can't tell you about some things, or even go into great detail, I think it's time for you to ask. Get some of it out of the way," she continued.

He nodded. "Thank you." His eyes caught hers again. "There is one thing I would like to know above anything else. Will the line of Durin prevail?"

Mari winced and her mind raced as she tried to find a decent answer for him. "Depends on what that entails, sir. There are quite many descending from that first Durin, aren't there?"

Thorin growled. "I think you just gave me my answer."

Mari managed to refrain from rolling her eyes – barely. "You know, I don't believe in fate. I don't believe that something must happen in a particular way. In any given moment we have a choice, and though we're often inclined to make a particular choice, it's not like it's the only thing we can do or choose." She paused and they stared at each other.

With a shrug she continued, "But if you want to make sure the future is what you want it to be, I'd recommend the lot of you to have kids. All of you. Just saying."

To her surprise Thorin let out a hearty laughter and when he reined it in, he nodded and said, "I have heard that tirade most of my life." He threw Kili a glance. "Your mother hounded me last night again."

Kili snorted loudly and reached out and slapped his uncle on his back. "I'm looking forward to meeting my cousins, uncle," he said enthusiastically.

Thorin eyed Kili. "Don't you for a moment think her concerns are limited to me, nephew." There was a smugness in his voice that didn't go unnoticed, and Kili's grin faded into a look of horror.

Mari snickered. "Oh come on Kili. It can't be that bad, can it?" she asked. He turned to look at her and suddenly his face flushed and his breakfast caught his undivided attention, causing both Thorin and Mari to laugh.

Her heart was much lighter when she closed the door behind them, after promising to show up later to pick up the exercises again. Leaning her back against the door, she sighed and the smile on her lips faded. She still needed to figure out what to do, but she'd think of something. At least she had time.

* * *

The week before Yule saw Thorin leave for Bree and it left Mari with more to do than ever before. As expected, food was at the centre of attention for the inhabitants of the Shire, as were the never-ending social gatherings. The tide had shifted, and Mari was no longer seen as a disturbing novelty. She nearly had worn out her shoes dancing, and after an initial mistletoe oversight on her part, she now spied those twigs first thing she entered a home or elsewhere where they could be found. Somehow one of these offensive sprigs had even found its way to the Assembly Rooms.

Despite the cold, or perhaps because of it, The Green Dragon was brimming every evening, and instead of the customary ale, the patrons were having mulled wine by the boiling pan. Her feet ached, but it was on the whole a happy time.

The first day of Yule began with heavy snowfall. As the Took family and Mari gathered in the kitchen for breakfast Viola commented that "it was downright unnatural, this winter", something which had Mari thoughtfully studying the white landscape outside. She had noticed when she studied the history of the Shire (in books she had borrowed from the Thain himself) that there had been no Fell Winter. No battle of Greenfield had been fought. The winter had come early this year according to everyone, and it was both rich in snow and unusually cold. So far it could just be a natural weather variation, but what if . . . A cold shiver ran up Mari's spine.

Breakfast over, Viola, Mari, Prim, and Marge braved the snowfall to help with the preparations in the Assembly Rooms. They were both wet and cold when they arrived, despite the short distance. They were greeted by Fili and Kili, who were cheerfully clearing the snow outside. Stepping inside they spotted Ori seated by a table, making wreaths for decoration alongside other young Hobbits in the neighbourhood that Mari now knew fairly well. They were greeted with smiles and cheerful well-wishes.

In the kitchen Dis reigned with impeccable calm, and she quickly found them tasks. The brothers soon came inside and were assigned to decoration, as Fili, on top on Kili's shoulders with not-so-helpful advice from Ori, tried to put the wreaths in place. It turned out to be quite entertaining, and they all laughed heartily.

Even though the foul weather continued throughout the day, people were flocking to the Assembly Rooms, and Mari again found herself dancing every dance. There even was an attempt at cornering her under the mistletoe, which she escaped with a smile. Eventually Fili materialised as one dance ended, offered her his elbow and escorted her towards the buffet table.

"Your smile was beginning to become slightly strained," he commented with a smirk as she gripped a glass with lemonade, downing it in one swig.

"I have no idea what's wrong with everyone. I went from official disturber of the peace to the it-girl-of-the-month overnight. Not sure I can live up to the hype, to be honest," she said and filled up the glass again, struggling to not pant.

Fili raised an eyebrow. "No, I can't think of any reason at all why this attention is given to you," he deadpanned.

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him over the rim of the glass. "Stop it you," she huffed.

Shrugging he let his eyes pan over the crowd. "You must have looked in a mirror lately?" he asked.

"Every day. Nothing new there." She picked up a plate and begun filling it from the buffet.

"But it's new to everyone else, and you are pretty to look at."

She stopped and turned her face to look at Fili. "I'm not dumb. I just don't quite see it myself." She looked down at the buffet again. "And you're making me uncomfortable now, Fili," she added.

"That was not my intention," he said sincerely. "I have no such interests."

"By choice or obligation?" she couldn't resist asking.

"Both," he replied, and smiled.

She nodded and sighed. "What a relief," she finally said and picked up a fork and filled up her glass a third time. Fili once more offered his elbow and led her to a quiet corner where they sat down.

"Where are the others?" she asked as she begun eating.

"Mother is currently dancing, as is in fact Ori as well," he replied.

Craning her neck she tried to catch them. Ori came into view first and the sight made her smile. She spotted Dis right behind and her eyebrows arched when she realised Dis was dancing with Dwalin.

"I never pictured Dwalin as one to dance," she mused as she forked a gherkin and crunched away on it.

"He's not as gruff as he looks. Well, on a battle field he is, but here? He has a heart of gold," Fili replied, ever so slightly defensive.

"I don't think he's a brute." She looked over at Fili. "He looks austere, but he's been nothing but polite to me. He sometimes jokes too." Her eyes went back to Dis and Dwalin. "And it's not like your uncle gives the impression of being very cuddly, when he's in a mood."

Fili sighed. "He can be quite . . . harsh. He could have been the father figure we lost, but he couldn't allow himself to be one. He was always king first."

"How does it feel to know that you're his heir?" she asked, dropping the plate in her lap as she sincerely studied Fili, waiting for a reply.

His eyebrows shot up. "I'm not certain I can answer that question. I have always known and I can't picture a life without that being part of it."

"I can't imagine what that would be like." Looking pensive she took a bite on the cheese.

"I still have to make a living," he pointed out with a smirk.

She grinned at him. "Yeah, you're not the average spoiled brat. Not to mention the fact that you've got too much hair to be a brat."

Fili looked perplex. "What kind of a creature is a brat?"

Mari laughed. "Oh, sorry. It's not a particular creature. It's just someone young and spoiled, but they tend to have a particular style, and it's nothing like yours."

A chair was scraping on her other side and she turned her head, not without a certain amount of trepidation. When Kili dropped down on the chair he had placed next to her, she broke out in a grin and released the breath she had briefly been holding. Kili had armed himself with ale, not just for himself, but for the other two as well.

"Well timed, Kee," Fili said and leaned back against the backrest looking very content.

"Isn't ale always well timed?" Kili asked smugly.

Fili chuckled. "You may have a point there."

"So. What were you two gossiping about then?" Kili asked casually.

Mari smirked at him. "Nothing in particular, to be honest. I'm having a well-deserved rest from the commotion out there."

"I noticed you were busy," Kili remarked.

She nodded. "Well, as long as I'm flanked by you two, I think I'll be left alone."

"That bad?" Kili dropped the amusement like a rock.

"I'm just not used to being the centre of attention, that's all." She smiled. "It'll wear off, I'm sure."

He gave her a long look and shifted his eyes to Fili who smirked at him, making him scowl.

The discussion turned to party practices in her old world and the eyebrows on both brothers were soon climbing towards the hairline. As she was describing various dance music, Ori came trotting over to them, chair in hand, sitting down next to Kili, angled a bit so he could join the conversation, while Kili pushed back as much as he could without hitting the wall.

They became a quite animated group, laughing and discussing loudly, with Mari being the story-teller, gesturing wildly from time to time to emphasise particular things. It didn't go unnoticed.

"They're quite taken with her," Dwalin commented, as he and Dis stood off to the side, discreetly watching the group in the corner.

"Have you and Thorin been talking?" Dis asked and arched an eyebrow.

He shot her a glance. "All the time he's 'ere."

Dis sighed. "That was not what I meant."

"Ye mean about tha girl?" he asked. "No, he didn't express any concern, if that's what ye mean." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But I can practically smell problems," he added. "Ye know why we keep ta ourselves, an' yer lads in particular need ta watch 'emselves."

"I can't tell them to stop talking to her. If things were right they'd have their own halls by now. They're grown and I can't interfere in their lives. It's not our way to do so." She watched Ori explain something to Mari, with Kili enthusiastically adding details. Fili was leaning back with a smirk on his lips as he listened.

Dis was hit by a sense of deja vu, and in her mind's eye she saw herself, Thorin, Frerin and Dwalin, in another place and another time, before all that death, and her brother had shouldered the family burden. Unlike Thorin, she had long believed her father had died. She pressed her eyes shut for a moment. Next to her Dwalin sighed.

"At least she's not an Elf," he said and Dis snorted. "Ye can grin, but let me tell ye, yer wee rascal Kili is far too friendly w' all sorts o' people. Including Elves."

"Then I suppose I raised him right," she said drily. "I never believed in holding that grudge."

* * *

A knock on the door woke Mari up. Squinting at the light she had to admit that she didn't feel very refreshed, though it had more to do with coming home very late than having too much to drink. She had had one ale, but much more lemonade. With a gravelly voice she invited in whomever was on the other side. The door opened and Prim stepped inside with eyes a bit too wide to be natural.

"Good morning Prim," Mari greeted her as she sat up and raked her hand through her dishevelled mass of hair.

Prim dove down on the bed and now Mari noticed the packages in her arms.

"Look! They were hanging on the door this morning! They are for you!" Prim picked up a label and showed her. To Miss Mari, it stated.

Mari stared dully at the packages and then fell backwards on the bed and tugged the quilt over her head as best she could with Prim sitting on it.

"But Mari! Aren't you going to open them?"

"They're probably from some of those chasing after me this past week and I don't want to deal with that right now," was Mari's muffled reply.

"But they're presents," Prim said.

Mari threw off the quilt. "Yes, they are. And I have learned the hard way to not accept gifts from men. They may see it as pre-payment on services."

Prim's eyes widened. "No! No one would do such a thing!"

Mari arched an eyebrow. "Really? No unsavoury behaviour has ever been recorded in the history of the Shire?" Prim was silent. "Thought so." Mari sighed. "Are they anonymous or are there names there as well?"

Prim dug around and fished up a card and read it, with a small smile spreading over her face. She looked up and handed it to Mari, who read it and then dropped her hand holding the card on the quilt. She stared at the card for a few moments and then reached out and picked up one of the packages, tearing it open. Inside was a sword, clearly of Dwarven make. Carefully she gripped the hilt, unsheathed the sword and raised it, holding the blade in front of her face.

"It's perfect," Mari breathed. She sheathed it again and tore open next package, which revealed a set of long knives, with the same design as the sword. The third package was the largest and she weighed it in her hands before opening it, throwing a quick glance at Prim before she slowly begun unwrapping it. She carefully picked up a bow, that too with the same patterns as on the blade weapons. She pretended to nock an arrow, pulling the string back, and then let it sink down in her lap.

"I don't think they'll expect any services," Prim said quietly.

Mari looked up at her. "I know they won't."

A rustle at the door made the two look up. In the doorway Viola stood staring at the weapons in Mari's lap.

"By the Valar! Were those things presents?" she asked, looking slightly horrified.

Mari grinned. "Yes. And rather amazing ones too." She carefully unsheathed the sword again to show the hilt and blade in all its glory. "Look at that craftsmanship. It's the same pattern on all of them, so I suspect they made it up for me. They all have their unique one, based on family and clan, which is on everything they own." She didn't tell Prim and Viola what she has spied immediately; that this was a variation of the Durin one.

"We've been practising just over a month now and it's been clear that their weapons are a bit too large and heavy for me. I'm not overly surprised they made me weapons of my own, but I didn't expect them to be this fancy."

Silence settled in the room until Mari quickly wiggled free of the quilt without sending the weapons to the floor and got up.

"I must go over there and say thanks!" she exclaimed and rummaged around finding her clothes.

"Will you not have breakfast, dear?" Viola asked.

Mari's head whipped up. "Of course. I'll just dress first."

Prim and Viola left, closing the door behind them, leaving Mari standing there, staring at the weapons on the bed. Slowly she stepped back to the bed and studied the pattern, leaning down and tracing it with her fingers. She sighed and crouched down before the bed. They were all being beyond kind to her, both the Hobbits and the Dwarves, a kindness she hadn't expected, and it made her cry. She sunk down on her knees and leaned her head on her forearms resting on the edge of the bed as the sobs racked her body.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are beginning to feel the bite of winter - and other things.

As Mari braided her hair in the usual Dutch braid she studied the weather outside. It had stopped snowing which meant the temperatures would be dropping again. After rummaging around among her clothes, she pulled on trousers that Viola had fashioned for her, made of wool, lined with soft linen, fitting like a glove.

Once she had mentioned she could use some decent clothes fitting her that were of the more practical kind, Viola had taken her measurements and gone to work. The result was several pairs of trousers, a number of shirts and some tunics reaching halfway down her thighs. One of Isembard's retired coats had been taken apart and refitted for her to wear. Ori had given her a leather belt she could use, which had been his when he was a child.

Trudging on down the hill after breakfast, she, to her dismay, realised that the snow now was so deep it slipped down inside the boots she was wearing, melting and making her feet wet and cold. What she wouldn't give for snowshoes or skis right now! She stopped dead in her tracks. During her time in the Shire she hadn't seen anyone use anything like that and she wondered why. They did get snow every winter, that much she knew, but no one seemed to have come up with the idea. Or perhaps she had missed something?

With her feet propped up in front of the fire in the Dwarven kitchen, she put the question forward. Did anyone use snowshoes or skis? The assembled family glanced at each other and then murmured a negative. She arched her eyebrows.

"Well then. It's time to introduce everyone to something that is both fun and practical," she concluded and recruited Kili to help with the woodwork. "I can't carve much myself, but I know how it's supposed to look," she explained. Fili was tasked with the metal work that was needed, and Ori she entrusted with the practical design part. Borrowing a pen and some paper from him, she began sketching.

Four long-haired heads in various colours, with or without braids, hung over the table as Mari produced sketch after sketch and explained as she went. It turned out that they all had an excellent grip on maths and construction, which didn't come as a surprise to her, and after the introduction, the three young men were fast at work with detailed drawings. Once they were in agreement, they slunk off to begin their work on prototypes, leaving Mari in the kitchen with Dis.

"How are you doing this morning?" Dis asked and sat down, pouring another cup of tea for Mari.

"Quite well. I'm going to pay for being up early after a late night, but it's just to adapt and overcome. There's more celebration to be had this evening." Mari picked up the cup, fretting for a few moments.

"I'm wondering," she began and looked down at her tea, "who came up with the pattern on the sword and bow?" She sipped her tea carefully so as not to burn herself on the hot liquid, but also to brace herself for the answer. While logic would dictate Ori being the one coming up with the ornament, she suspected it was Kili.

"That would be Kili." Dis nodded. "He began making the bow and quiver first, once they discussed your issues with the size and weight of what they use. It takes time to make a bow of his making. Longer than making blades."

Mari nodded. She knew it was layer upon layer of wood glued together and even if she didn't know much about such things, she understood that it had to take time.

"So you've seen it?" She moved to hold the cup with both her hands.

"I have, yes." Dis smiled. "I can tell you understand the pattern."

Mari looked down in the cup. "I did. And I had a good cry over it too. You're all so very kind to me. I had no idea that I had this much karma saved up." Dis looked confused and Mari hurried to add, "Some believe that if we act kindly and are generous, it will eventually reward you, and vice versa, if you're mean it will come back to you. You reap what you sow. It's called karma, good or bad."

Dis leaned over and put her hand on Mari's arm. "If there is anyone in this world who understands what happened to you, it would be us. And banished as we were by the dragon, we still retained more than you."

Mari nodded, debating inwardly with what to say next.

"How much influence do you have over your brother?" Mari asked, keeping her face under careful control.

"Thorin is Thorin, and when his mind is made up, it's difficult to reason with him," was Dis' equally careful reply.

Mari nodded. "Thought so."

"You gave him something to think about before he left. He may pay more heed to anything you say than the rest of us because of what you know." Dis gave her a meaningful glance.

Mari snorted. "I don't know if I could stand my ground though. He's not someone I'd want to cross."

With a small smile, Dis poured some tea in her own cup. "Keep in mind that he's no different than the rest of us. He must eat, sleep and visit the privy, and he's not immune to fear."

"I'll try to remember. I mean, technically I know this, but it's not that easy when he throws that glare at you."

A small smile tugged at Dis' lips. "I think it's time for some stories from our youth," she said. The mischievous glint in her eyes was unmistakeable as she begun retelling amusing mishaps from the past.

* * *

Using the newly fashioned snowshoes, she made her way up the hill with the skis on her shoulder and ski poles in her right hand. She was both excited and nervous, because she knew she had spectators at the foot of the hill, and it had been years since she stood on skis, going down a hill.

At the top, she placed the skis on the snow, unclasped the left snowshoe, fastened the first ski, then repeated it with the right boot. She gathered the snowshoes and shoved them down in the sack on her back before gripping the ski poles and readying herself to go over the hill crest. Ahead of time, she had tried the skis on a reasonably flat field which had given her a fair insight into what she could expect.

She stared down the hill with narrow eyes. "Telemark, here we go," she whispered and pushed herself over the edge.

The slope wasn't very long but by the time she made it down, she had managed to get a pretty good grip on the quirks the skis she had strapped to her feet had. To her great relief she didn't fall flat on her face. She came to a full stop as Kili and Ori hurried over, with Fili trailing behind in a more orderly fashion.

"I have never seen anything like it!" Kili exclaimed.

"Does it take a long time to learn?" Ori asked with his eyes glued to the fruits of their labour strapped to her feet.

Fili came up to stand next to Ori. "Are they functioning well?"

Mari grinned widely. "This is like having the 19th century strapped to my feet, but they work surprisingly well." She turned towards Ori. "Give me two days if you have your own skis, and you'll be doing what I just did."

The trio stared at her and then at each other.

"Mahal, we're making skis!" Kili said and laughed.

Prim and Marge stepped around the men with wide smiles.

"That looked fun!" Prim said enthusiastically. "A bit dangerous, but fun!"

"It's not without its dangers, but if you're sensible, the worst that can happen is that you faceplant into the snow, and here where the snow isn't packed hard, that's not a big deal," Mari replied, leaning on the ski poles, in her mind looking very much like a seasoned slalom skier.

"I wish we could try," Marge said wistfully.

Mari straightened. "Well, the issue is with boots. You can't do this without boots on your feet."

Ori rounded Kili and stepped between the young women looking at their feet. "You could perhaps try some of our boots? There might be a pair or two that could fit."

Both women looked down, hitching their skirts a bit higher. "Not mine though," he continued. "But perhaps Dwalin's?" He looked up at Kili and Fili who nodded.

The group slowly started making their way to the forge, as Kili and Ori discussed the changes that could be made to the next pair of skis to make them better, with input from Mari. There was no mistaking Kili and Ori's enthusiasm, and the group soon stopped as Mari unclasped the skis and offered one of them to try the skis out. Ori and Kili eyed each other before Fili's involvement settled the matter.

Kili was happy to let his brother make a fool of himself and before they made it back to the forge, peals of laughter echoed from the group. It was quickly settled that they all needed a pair and a wager was made on who the first one would be to make it down a hill without toppling over and actually managing to make turns on the way.

* * *

For once Mari was ready to run out the door of The Green Dragon. It had been a slow evening, without much else to do but cleaning. Fortunately Kili had shown up early, and had been sitting by the bar chatting with her as she worked, sorting and scrubbing away. People headed home early and Mari fetched her knits, coat and cloak to do the same, when Mr. Rumble, with a knitted brow, stood glaring at the door.

"There's something wrong with this winter. Can you feel it? It feels like . . . magic. But not good magic," he grumbled.

Kili and Mari glanced at each other. "No, I can't say I can sense anything," Kili replied. "But then again, we are insensitive to most magic."

Mari shook her head. "I don't think I could tell it was magic, even if it bit me in the arse."

Kili snorted loudly and Mr. Rumble turned, looking at her in surprise. Mari's cheeks turned pink.

"Well, gentlemen, Marigold Smith in a nutshell. Foot permanently wedged in her mouth." She quickly wrapped the scarf around her neck, all but fleeing out the door.

"Miss Mari," Kili begun once they had stepped outside and had their snowshoes strapped to their feet.

"Can we just lose that Miss thing you've got going? I feel like an old maid the way everyone is using it," she cut in.

Kili smirked. "It's supposed to be respectful."

"Oh, I'm well aware of that. Doesn't do much for how I feel about it though." She pulled the hood of her cloak up in an attempt to retain some her body heat in the frigid conditions outside. As she turned her eyes forward a strong sense of familiarity gripped her, not having anything to do with her knowing this route home. The sparse forest on the northern side of the bog they traversed, together with the winter conditions, made her feel quite at home. It all reminded her about the countryside where her grandparents lived, and she felt a pang of homesickness. She quickly glanced at her companion but he seemed unaware of any shifts in her mood and she was determined to keep it that way. In the dim light she saw him briefly flash a grin.

"I must use it in public, or people will start thinking I'm taking liberties."

She rolled her eyes but decided to accept it for what it was. "All right. What was it you were going to say anyway?"

"Ah, uh . . . Right." He smiled apologetically at her. "The way you word things isn't so much different from the way we Dwarves speak."

She huffed. "I hear you speak almost every day and you do _not_ embarrass everyone else around you on a daily basis."

"It's because I don't speak Khuzdul. It's a bit more colourful than what you hear around the Shire."

She pondered this. "But you're snorting and snickering."

Kili's face fell and he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I apologise with all my heart. It's not to make fun of you, but because it's so familiar. And it's amusing when people react the way they do."

With a smile she fiddled with the cloak which had slipped off her shoulder, and forced it back into place again. "I'm glad to hear it. Now, can I ask something?"

Kili threw out the hand not holding the light. "Certainly. Ask away."

"Why don't you have a beard?" She gauged his reaction for a brief moment as she weighed on one foot and noticed a small smile playing on his lips.

"What is my weapon of choice?" he asked.

"The bow and arrow," she replied.

"Exactly. You have seen my brother, mother and uncle. Do I keep my hair the way they do?"

She shook her head. "It's fairly short."

"I don't wear furs the way they do either."

Mari was amused. "I'm beginning to sense an explanation here."

"I would expect nothing less. You are clever, Mari," he said breezily, and she tilted her head as she noticed that he left out using Miss.

"So, all those things have to do with you choosing the bow?" she asked.

"They do. I'm doing something as unnatural to Dwarves as shaving. Not all of it though." He pulled up his hair, revealing his left ear.

Mari grinned. "I've seen them. Those sideburns are seriously rivalling the entire hippie movement." She hurried to explain, "It was a time when hair – lots of it – was high fashion. It's why I asked, because, well, you have stubble so you clearly can grow one. And the others have, even if they're shorter than those of most Dwarves in our stories, who have really long beards."

He laughed. "It's not so far from the truth. This," he rubbed his chin with his gloved knuckles, "is breaking every unofficial rule there is for both men and women among our people. But it's easier this way. There is much to be said about not having half your supper in your beard once you're finished," he smirked.

"And archery is made more simple," she mused. It was all so simple and logical.

"It is." He glanced at her. "What does your kind of males look like?" The words all but tumbled out of his mouth making his question so different from Ori's, which were products of an analytic mind, wanting to understand the world and worlds beyond this one.

She stopped and canted her head, letting her eyes search the sky above. It was silly really, because none of the suns out there was her own sun. There was nothing to look for, but she kept her eyes trained on the sky anyway.

"You know what Men in this world look like? Like that, but with even more differences in how they dress, wear their hair and facial hair – if they choose to have it. Some doesn't grow facial hair at all while others have more than enough for two. Depends on their heritage." She glanced at him.

"Do you know anything about how that works?" she asked.

"How what works?" he replied, looking mildly confused.

"Why people look the way they do and why you can tell if people are related by just looking at them?"

Kili looked down at his feet. "No, it just is."

She nodded as she slowly begun walking again, and started telling him about how they were built up, from the existence of molecules, how genes controlled everything living, to a rough anatomic lesson.

"Though I don't know exactly what you look like inside, I don't think you differ that much." Swerving in front of him she stopped him, pulling her mitten off, putting her fingers just under his jaw, pressing against his throat next to the wind pipe. His eyes grew wide and he froze as she stood there with a small smile and far away eyes. She let go and tugged on the mitten again.

"You've got a pulse point exactly in the same spot as me. You seem to be pretty fit, by the way." She grinned at him.

"How would you know?" he asked and frowned.

"Because despite us labouring a bit now when walking, your pulse is pretty calm," she explained and continued to walk. He was quick to follow. "There are other things of course. Your hair and skin look the way it should, your eyes are clear, you are alert and quick, and you move easily. Those are all signs that you're doing well."

"Sometimes it seems like you are from a very distant future," Kili said solemnly.

"In a way I am. Another world, but definitely from a future one. I can explain a lot of thing in this world that you don't know anything about. Or, I should say, you often know that if you do A, B will follow, but what you can't really explain why that is. For the most part I know why that is. Some things you think of as almost magical, we learn about and explore in simple school labs when we're still children." She looked up at the black winter sky and halted once more.

"Look at those stars. Those are suns like the one Middle Earth is circling. They are at incredible distances and the light take years and years, sometimes thousands of years or more, to travel to us. Can you imagine?" She glanced at him. He stood gazing at the starry sky above, looking subdued.

"I can't," she continued. "Not really. But the most amazing thing is that what those stars and planets out there are built with, that's the same things we are made out of. We're literally made of star dust." She smiled at the sky and then turned her head to look at him. He met her gaze, looking awed.

"That sounds . . . romantic," he mused.

"The sciences in which you study the world definitely have romantic sides to them. Some scholars can be downright poetic when they start talking about the world around us, in particular about the stars. But now we're really far from the original question. Sorry" She set off again.

"It doesn't matter. I enjoy hearing about all these things." He smiled and kept her pace.

She reflected for a moment over how quickly he had mastered snowshoes and skis. He was the most fearless of the three young men, which in secret made her wince, but it also meant he had an easier time learning to master skiing in particular. He wasn't afraid of speed and took a tumble with good humour, laughing at himself as he shook off the snow.

Instinctively he understood that snowshoes demanded a slightly different technique when walking and was soon annoying Fili with his teasing and shoving, which Fili couldn't return. Ori, used to the brothers' antics, steered clear of them and made reasonable progress, if not as fast as Kili. With a slight shake to her head she forced her mind to pick up the original topic.

"Still, digressing is a bad habit of mine. I shouldn't. So. Men? Short, tall, thin, not thin at all, with lots of muscle bulk or hardly anything at all, a lot of hair or nothing at all . . . Any style, shape, and a number of colours, you've got it." She staggered a bit on her snowshoes as she stepped in an unexpected hole. Kili caught her arm and steadied her.

"Thank you." She shot him a thankful glance. "Anyway. We don't have Elves, Hobbit, Dwarves or Orcs, so I think that may explain the range."

"You left out Men," he pointed out.

"It's because we're like Men. I can't say if we're exactly the same, but it certainly looks like it. To me it's a mystery why I am vertically challenged all of a sudden, because I should be taller. It could have something to do with me dying before ending up here."

They were silent for a while as they trudged on in the snow.

"When I grew up, I read this story about a boy who knew he was going to die, and whose older brother told him amazing stories about a place he'd go to after he died. He'd be healthy again and be able to do all these things he could never do. He'd not have to live in a small flat in a town, and never want for the basics in life." She paused as she stepped over a snow drift.

"As the story went along, both brothers died and ended up in this magical place, where life was good. The little brother was all healthy and could be like any normal boy again. It seemed like a perfect world."

"It was just that there was an evil there, a man from whom evil was spreading, threatening all the people in that world. The brothers set out to stop this – kids, you know?" She smiled as she briefly glanced at Kili.

"And they succeeded. But it came at a price. The elder brother ended up dying, and as he was waiting to die, he told his little brother about this other place, waiting for them both. It's at that point you understand that he's making these places up. But because they believe in them, they come true."

"This story has been on my mind a lot lately, because I suspect this may be my version of an afterlife. This is my Nangijala." She glanced at Kili again. "Nangijala was the name the older brother gave that first fantasy place," she explained.

"Since I know this world quite well, of course I know that there's evil here as well. What to do about it, I don't know. I'm just a little person in this grand world with magic and wizards. And I wasn't even allowed to be what I was, as tall as I was. There's probably a reason for this change but I don't know what that reason is."

"That's . . . quite a story," Kili said quietly. "You've said it before, that you think you're here for a reason."

"I do. The fact that I ended up here, in the Shire, at this particular time, getting to know your family – yes." She said it with such a matter-of-fact manner, Kili stopped in his tracks, turning to study her. Mari stopped too, meeting his eyes.

"It's probably quite necessary that I learn to handle those weapons you gave me. I just didn't want to accept that I need to before," she continued.

Kili shook his head. "What is it you know, Mari?" he murmured.

She slumped a bit. "I have dropped enough hints."

"And we're all going to die?" he asked and inched closer, looking concerned.

"Well, we all are. Eventually. Maybe not the Elves, but the rest of us. We are born, we live and die. Circle of life." She smiled briefly.

"That's not what you're implying." He watched as the internal debate played out on her face, and then she averted her gaze.

"I have already told you I don't believe in fate. You were there when I spoke to your uncle about this."

"You have a talent for instigating fear." With a sigh he dipped his eyes to the snow-covered ground.

"I never meant to do that, but if it makes you all think a bit about the choices you make, I suppose that's a good thing. Some things must be done, but it's wise to think it through and not go along with not so bright decisions."

"And my uncle will decide unwisely." He sounded like he couldn't believe Thorin could do such a thing. She smiled as she thought about what Dis had told her. What a difference between Dis and her sons! But then again, Thorin had been her sons' hero, while Dis saw him as the man he was.

"He might. Unfortunately you, Fili, and Ori adore him a bit too much to see he could." She made a face when she saw the vague hurt in Kili's eyes. "I don't mean to rake on him, or on you. You're all so bloody heroic." A note of anguish found its way into her voice.

He stared incredulously at her. "Do you think I'm heroic?" he asked.

A laugh escaped her. "It's somehow so _you_ to latch on to that." He looked a bit like a kicked puppy and she reached out and put her mitten-clad hand on his arm. "Yes Kili. You are incredibly heroic. Loyal and eager to do the right thing. There's not a dishonest bone in your body." She couldn't contain her sadness as she continued, "I wish you lived in another time when you didn't have to deal with what's to come." With that she dropped her hand to her side.

"I wish you could tell me about the future. I'd do anything to set things right," he said.

"I know. And that's part of the problem. That 'anything' part? That's what's going to get you k-" She clamped her mouth shut and looked away. "You can't fight your nature," she suddenly said and continued to trudge onwards again.

Kili scrambled behind her and caught up, stopping her by gripping her arm.

"You said you don't believe in fate," he growled.

"And I don't. But I don't think anyone can change who they fundamentally are. Not you, not me. You are what you are and somehow I must figure out a way to kick your arses in such a way that you'll do what you have to, what you feel you need to, without it all becoming a catastrophe, for you personally and for all of Middle Earth." She panted at she closed her mouth and she couldn't look at him any longer.

"This is big. Much bigger than about your uncle, and a dragon who stole your home." She looked at the hand holding her arm in a firm grip, raised hers and put it over his, slowly prying it loose and then catching it, holding it.

"Come on. Let's go home. We've still got time and nothing gets better because we're freezing our arses off out here." She tugged at his hand and they slowly continued to make their way back to Tuckborough.

* * *

Kili slumped in an armchair in front of the fire, pushing his feet closer to the hearth. Picking up his pipe he began filling it with pipe-weed from his pouch, and packing it just so. Leaning forward he picked up a splinter, held it in the fire until a small flame was lit, and then used it to light his pipe. He threw the splinter on the fire and leaned back against the back of the chair.

No matter how he tried, he couldn't imagine himself dying, but there was no doubt. If they continued the way they did, he was heading towards an early death. He didn't want to die, but he never reflected on that when he found himself in situations that potentially could lead to the end. There had been several times when he had realised that he could have died after a skirmish, but it had never crossed his mind while he had been in those situations.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he recognised this mindset as being something of a problem. He didn't think. He just acted. If it was the right thing to do, he did it. With a sinking heart he realised that he probably wouldn't be able to change that. Mari was right. He was who he was. An understanding of her predicament dawned on him and something sounding an awful lot like a groan escaped him.

"You sound like someone stuck a dagger in your chest, twisting it around," Fili said and moved another armchair around, allowing him to sit comfortably by the fire.

The absurdity had Kili snorting quietly. "Have you ever actually witnessed something like that?" he asked. They were no strangers to death and killing, but they were both of the opinion that the faster they could end an enemy, the better. Inflicting pain before death was something Orcs and to a certain extent Elves did, not Dwarves.

"You know what I mean. Something is eating you." Fili went through the same procedure with his pipe as Kili had before.

"I don't know what to say," Kili replied truthfully. He had no idea what to tell his brother or if he should say anything at all. As far as he was aware, only his uncle and he himself knew anything about Mari's actual insights into their future, even if he suspected his mother was privy to that breakfast conversation. The siblings were close and he knew his mother carried considerable weight with her brother.

"How about telling why you're looking so miserable?" Fili pressed. "You're usually not this morose when you've walked Miss Mari home. Quite the opposite, in fact." The smirk that had been plastered on his face whenever Kili happened to so much as glance at Mari, curved his lips upwards, putting a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Kili turned his head to look at his brother. "What are you trying to say?" he asked, instantly on his guard.

"That you are quietly carrying a little torch for Miss Mari, and somehow she poured a bucket of water on that," Fili retorted and put the pipe in his mouth.

Kili chuckled, pleased that his brother had misjudged the situation. "No, she didn't."

Fili laughed heartedly. Kili realised his blunder a moment too late, and it made him scowl.

"I didn't expect you to fall so easily into that little trap." Fili was clearly gloating now.

"Why don't you go and break a leg or something," Kili grumbled.

"You know it's highly unlikely. So. Miss Mari, eh?" Fili continued to look smug. "Mother and uncle are going to love that."

"No, they're not. I know that all too well," Kili sneered.

"Is it that bad?" Fili grew serious.

"What? No! I'm just . . . I know what's expected." Kili sighed. "Although I think I'm going to let you and uncle shoulder the expectations and _obligations_ , while I'm burying myself in work. It has always been my lot in life anyway."

"What are you? A whining baby? Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" Fili exclaimed and aimed a kick at Kili, who quickly dodged it by yanking the knee Fili was aiming for away from the attack.

"Fili, has uncle talked to you about the conversation he and I had with Miss Mari that morning he apologised?" Kili asked, keeping his voice under control.

The blond man shook his head. "No, I can't say he did."

Kili sighed and studied the pipe in his hand. "No, I can't tell you. You'll have to ask Miss Mari or uncle. But I can say this much, it's what came out of that conversation that is affecting me."

Fili eyed his brother for long moments without any sign of the taunting moments before. "And it came up this evening again."

Kili nodded. "It did. Mr. Rumble is convinced something is wrong, and he's not the first Hobbit I have heard say such things. He senses magic. One thing led to the other, and Miss Mari let something slip that I had suspected, but she hadn't actually told me." He turned to look at his brother.

"Talk to her. I think she'll tell you, and explain everything much better than I could do."

"I will," Fili nodded. He tilted his head slightly. "And Miss Mari?"

"What of her?" Kili's voice was carefully neutral.

"You're not even going to flirt with her?"

The glare Kili sent his brother could have levelled cities.

"Brother, I believe you're in greater trouble than you think," Fili sighed, studying his dark haired brother who continued to make a fairly good Thorin impression.

Fili shook his head and pushed himself out of the chair, emptying his pipe and cleaning it out, putting it in the usual place on the mantelpiece where he kept it during the night.

"I'll leave you to your brooding." He paused and looked down on Kili. "I never thought the day would come when I'd see an incarnation of uncle in you."

He slowly left the room with heavy steps. Kili let his head slump backwards, thudding against the back of the armchair, his pipe forgotten in his hand. With Fili gone he allowed himself to think about _her_ , and despite everything, it made him smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf! Bad news! And finally I can introduce one hugely important character; modelled after a good friend of mine who once left her home halfway around the world to study, and 22 years later still lives in the freezing hell-hole that Scandinavia often is. For Nisha.

Gandalf came to a halt and considered the odd planks of wood sticking out of the snow, tapering off in a curve at the top, as well as the wicker frames hanging on the wall behind. Carefully he studied the details in wood, metal and leather, but they gave no clues to what these things were used for. He shook his head. The Dwarves had come up with something new again.

He knocked on the door with his staff and soon the door was flung open, revealing Dwalin, who made an almost comical face at the sight of the wizard.

"Gandalf," he greeted and with a certain amount of reluctance he stepped aside to let the wizard inside.

"Oh, Dwalin! I'm pleased to see you in good health," Gandalf replied jovially as he nodded and stepped through the door.

"I see the same goes fer ye." Dwalin's voice was dry and he didn't bother to hide his suspicion, well knowing the wizard wouldn't take offence. Aside from his presence at the Midsummer festivities, his visits usually meant bad news of some kind.

Once inside, Gandalf waited for Dwalin to close the door and lead the way. The kitchen was warm and the atmosphere was pleasant. Around the table and the fireplace sat the three young Dwarves, as well as two Hobbit lasses and a person Gandalf couldn't immediately identify.

One of the women was reading from a book while the two Durin heirs sat in armchairs puffing on their pipes. The young scribe was working on something on a piece of paper and Gandalf guessed it was a drawing. The remaining two sat at Fili's and Kili's feet on cushions; the Hobbit knitting, while the unknown person – a young woman by the look of things – simply sat propped up against the chair Kili was sitting in, with her head resting against his right knee, her eyes trained on the young Hobbit woman reading. The entire scene was breathing friendship, comfort and peace.

As he entered the kitchen all eyes fell on him and after a moment of surprised silence, polite greetings met him. Gandalf stepped further inside and Fili got out of his armchair, offering his seat to the wizard. The young Hobbit at his feet scooted slightly to the side, allowing an easier access to the chair. As he sat down and Fili secured his staff next to the chair, Dis strode through the door, with Thorin on her heels, his face in something looking an awful lot like a scowl. Behind trailed Dwalin and finally Dori.

More pleasantries were exchanged as well as offers for food and drink. Out came bread, cheese, and wine and he was handed a plate and a glass was placed within easy reach. All the while, he surreptitiously studied the unknown woman, now sitting cross-legged with hands neatly folded in her lap. She was openly studying him with her large brown eyes.

Intriguingly, she looked like a Man, but she was the size of a halfling. Her hair had the same colour as rye, darker at the roots, and her eyebrows painted distinct arcs on her fair and rosy complexion. A heart-shaped face with a short upturned nose and full lips made her pretty, if not a classic beauty. In comparison to the Hobbits and Dis, she looked slender, and it was all shown off in trousers and a tunic, belted at her waist.

How odd, he thought. Everything about her was odd. She didn't fit, yet she seemed to belong as much as any of the other people in the room. Her open scrutiny was the oddest thing of all. It was like she knew him, as if they had been . . . acquainted. Racking his brain didn't help. She was a mystery, but he had good hopes of finding out more ere long.

The Hobbits soon excused themselves, looking to the strange woman – Gandalf finally caught her name – but she decided to stay, completely comfortable in this Dwarven home, and, by the look of things, equally accepted.

As he finished his meal Thorin asked if they could speak in private to which Gandalf agreed. In fact, he had hoped Thorin would have the sense to ask for a private conversation, and they left the kitchen.

"I did not expect you to be here in the Shire," Gandalf said as they made their way through the house.

Thorin threw him a glance. "I have business here," he replied in a clipped tone of voice, and Gandalf held back on inquiring further until they were behind closed doors.

"Something tells me you're not making a social visit," Thorin stated as they sat down in what probably was Thorin's own chamber. The door was closed and bolted. No one would simply walk in on them.

"No, that would be correct," Gandalf replied with a brief smile. "So, what kind of business brings you to this corner of Middle Earth in the middle of winter then?" he continued.

"The family kind," Thorin answered evasively as he leaned his head back against the backrest.

The wizard nodded and the corners of his eyes creased slightly. "I remember when Fili was just a lad, two feet tall, and how he used drive Dwalin's patience to the limit with his mischief."

A sharp glare from Thorin increased Gandalf's amusement. "As I said, it's family business," Thorin began. Then he sighed and the façade cracked. "One of Dis' childhood friends has a daughter close to age as my nephews."

"And you are hoping she'll take to one of them," Gandalf mused.

"Fili specifically." Thorin sighed. "At least she isn't a complete stranger. Over the years they have met in Ered Luin, which, I suppose, is the reason why she has agreed to become more acquainted with him."

"One would think that the heir to Erebor wouldn't face difficulties of that kind."

"We're not in Erebor, as you well know." Thorin's expression was sour.

"That may change," Gandalf suggested and sent Thorin a meaningful look, which the latter pointedly ignored.

"You have some news for me?" Thorin asked coldly. Gandalf decided he had put enough pressure on the king in exile and let the future stay there, for now.

"I don't come with glad tidings." Thorin snorted quietly, which Gandalf ignored. "Dark things are brewing, spreading far and wide. I have long been worried about the darkness in Dol Guldur, and now we are faced with something I suspect may be linked to it. This winter is not of natural origin. The cold and foul weather has a strong grip on lands far to the south, and it allows evil to travel over lands they otherwise wouldn't."

"The Hobbits are talking about magic," Thorin mused and tilted his head as he watched the wizard.

"And they are right. This is a magically induced winter and there's no knowing when it will release its grip on the lands. I fear we will not see spring and summer for a long, long time. It will be felt. These Hobbits don't know what starvation is, but soon they may, unless they are careful. Even that may not be enough. They must stretch their supplies and so must you."

With a quick glance at Thorin Gandalf continued, "I also fear the Shire will see attacks of a kind that is quite unheard of."

Thorin leaned forward. "Orcs," he hissed.

Gandalf nodded. "These people have nothing to defend themselves with and they don't know what to do. I urge you to stay and help them. Make weapons. Train them."

Thorin stared at him, looking indecisive.

"Ered Luin is strong and under competent care in your absence, but the Hobbits and your family are at danger." The wizard said it with emphasis as he pinned the king with his eyes.

Thorin sighed and glanced at the fire. "We are expecting visitors here, as you may have suspected."

"Excellent!" Gandalf exclaimed. "The more the better. You'll need every hand you can persuade to stay."

Giving Gandalf a withering glare he finally nodded. "I suppose you will speak with the Thain too?" he asked.

Gandalf nodded. "Speaking of the Thain, I couldn't help noticing his grandchildren in the kitchen when I arrived." Thorin eyed the grey-clad bearded wizard and nodded. "Though your family has the respect of the inhabitants of the Shire, you haven't had any closer friendships with them. The occasional social visit from the Tooks, but very little beyond what's polite. But this? Something has changed." He peered slyly at Thorin.

"And Miss Prim and Miss Marge were the only ones you noticed?" Thorin asked evenly.

"I never miss anything," Gandalf huffed. "A Miss Mari with obvious ties to Isembard Took's family."

Thorin nodded. "Earlier in autumn, Isembard found the girl unconscious on the road as he was heading home to Tuckborough. He brought her home and ever since she's a mystery intriguing the people here."

"And how come she's firmly planted in your kitchen using your nephew as a backrest?" Gandalf's eyes twinkled slightly.

Thorin's eyes darkened in equal measures. "She was in want of company, aside from the Isembard Misses. The lads made her acquaintance, and she sought Dis out specifically, after which my sister took the girl to her heart."

"Hmmm," Gandalf mused. "There is something odd about her . . ." he murmured, as if he were speaking to himself. His eyes snapped to Thorin's carefully blank face and his eyes narrowed.

"And no one knows who she is or where she comes from?" Gandalf continued.

"I have never heard of it." Thorin's blank expression raised the wizard's warning flags, but he also knew he'd not get any answers from him now.

Gandalf was silent for a while. "It's the strangest thing. When she looked at me it was like she knew me." He met Thorin's eyes. "She's not like the Hobbits, this one."

"Though she's a stranger to our ways, she has, during a surprisingly short period of time, become a part of this society and made friends with Hobbits and Dwarves alike. But you're correct. She's not like the Hobbits."

Gandalf's eyes twinkled. "No, I can tell she's not much for Hobbit propriety. Trousers, and was that a knife I spotted in her belt? Seems quite Dwarven-like to me." He was quite amused.

Thorin smiled thinly. "She's learning to wield weapons, which is why she's dressed in that fashion."

Gandalf nodded. He hoped he would have the opportunity to speak to Miss Mari herself before he left the Shire. Something told him it would be wise to find out precisely who she was.

Mari was putting on her cloak when Gandalf stepped into the hallway, with Thorin slowly trailing behind, thumbs hooked in his belt and eyes looking darker than they actually were. She paused and met Thorin's eyes and he flickered them to Gandalf and then back again, dipping his chin. She sensed the warning he was trying to convey.

Gandalf suddenly snapped his head to look at Thorin who simply smiled benignly at the wizard. The wizard narrowed his eyes slightly and turned to look at Mari.

"Miss Mari," he greeted her.

"Gandalf," she replied calmly.

"I intend to visit the Thain before I leave. Would you mind if I kept you company part of the way?" he asked politely.

You conniving wizard, she thought and smirked. "No, I wouldn't mind," she replied. In fact, I have a few questions myself, she added silently. She continued to dress as the wizard put on his knits and wools as he conversed politely about nothing in particular with Thorin.

She turned to say goodbye to Ori and Kili who stood hovering in the background, keeping respectful eyes on Gandalf and Thorin. With a smile she pulled them both into a hug at the same time.

"He's an incredibly powerful wizard, but he's at the same time a very caring man, in his way," she whispered. "I'll be fine." She let them go and said out loud, "See you soon." They both had wide eyes flicking between her and the wizard, until Kili remembered they should bid her goodbye.

When she turned, Gandalf was waiting for her and with a quick curtsey at Thorin, she stepped out through the front door. She reached for her snowshoes hanging just outside the door and started putting them on with the wizard following her outside, halting to look at the process with interest.

Straightening, she smiled and held out one of her feet. "Snowshoes!"

Gandalf chuckled. "When I arrived I was wondering what they had come up with this time."

"Well, actually it's me," Mari said and picked up a pair of ski poles she sometimes used to make walking easier. She stuck her hands through the loops, gripped the handles and raised one, banging it against the nearest set of skis.

"Those are skis. You put them on your feet too, but they allow you to move much quicker. You slide across the snow," she explained. "Both skis and snowshoes are common where I come from."

They began walking and Gandalf eyed her carefully. "Something tells me I should know you," he mused.

She peered up at him – blimey, he was tall when you were only four foot four – and shook her head.

"No, I don't think you do," she replied.

"But there is something about you..." his voice trailed off and his eyes became piercing.

"I'm sure there is. I expected you to . . . I don't know, feel it? Is that the right description?" she asked. "I'm not from around here, but you already know that, don't you? And by here, I mean Middle Earth."

"Yes," he replied slowly. "But you're not magical."

She grinned. "No. I think I'm particularly dense when it comes to that. The Dwarves doesn't sense much, and I don't think I sense anything at all. Or perhaps I don't know what it's supposed to be like. You could try me, couldn't you?" she asked.

"You would willingly expose yourself to a wizard's magic?" he asked, sounding amused.

"Well, I'm counting on you to not hurt me. You're not Radagast, but still." She climbed over a snow wall which Gandalf simply stepped over.

"And you would know anything about that?" he asked, still amused. She stopped and so did he.

"Gandalf, I know you're powerful. Very powerful. And you will become stronger with time." She smiled a sad smile. "I know you're seeing things that might come, though you may not tell others. Not even Lady Galadriel, I think, even if she has her own source, but . . . I always wondered if you were the stronger, or if she was. Not that it matters really." She drew a breath. "You have reasons for what you do, I understand that. I know it."

"Who are you," he asked, with slightly narrowed eyes. She could feel the sharpness of his mind as she looked into them.

"I'm here to change the course of history. Apparently." She fidgeted slightly. "I feel very silly right now, because I'm not supposed to be heroic or in epic tales. I'm just a girl who used to read about worlds she wished were real. Maybe this was thrust in my face, and maybe I chose this. I don't know. But I do know I must make friends with you, because I think we'll see a lot of each other eventually."

He eyed her carefully and shifted on his staff to lean slightly closer. "There's no deception in your eyes," he stated.

"Good. We have that out of the way. Perhaps I should start at the beginning?" she asked, and Gandalf nodded. Mari drew a deep breath and started with the first moments when she woke up in an unfamiliar room, months ago.

* * *

Mari was tired of the cold and though she wasn't exactly starving, she was hungry from time to time now in a way that she had never been in her life. Food could only to be had on rations. The Green Dragon was now kept closed several days a week and she barely had anything to do when she was there. It wasn't long before Mr. Rumble told her he couldn't keep her. It was with a heavy heart she had to give it up.

Her time was now split between weapons training and gathering of firewood, and when no one was looking she did more than that, using an axe she had been given by Dwalin to take down trees and cutting them up, bringing them into the shed to dry for future use. If this winter was to last over the coming calendar year, then they'd need all they could get.

The Dwarven family now had visitors, which gave the Hobbits something new to gossip about. Among these guests was one young woman named Gisla, and at the first opportunity she and Mari were introduced.

Gisla had black, thick and wavy hair, deep brown eyes framed with long black lashes, full lips, a softly rounded nose, and her skin had a golden brown tone. She reminded Mari of one of the Pakistani women who had sold magazines, Oyster Cards, gas tokens, Bassett's Wine Gums and Ibuprofen in the shop around the corner in the neighbourhood Mari had lived in before she died. Gisla had a shortly trimmed beard, though shorter than anyone else's aside from Kili. She also kept her hair surprisingly short. When asked about it, she had simply shrugged and given a similar answer as Kili had. Kili and Mari had snickered as they stole amused glances at the older generation pretending to not listen to the conversation.

Unlike the Shire dwarves, Gisla wasn't used to outside company and was brimming with open curiosity, eagerly asking about everything and listening to the stories they all contributed with. Mari, Prim and Marge had quickly struck up a friendship with the young visitor which at least somewhat made up for the lack of social contact Mari had lost when she no longer worked at the Green Dragon.

The official reason for this visit from Ered Luin may have been the friendship between Dis and Gisla's mother, but it was obvious to Mari that the real reason was about something else entirely; marriage. Gisla herself quickly admitted she had first and foremost been driven by her curiosity of the outside world, and the whole situation was slightly awkward at the beginning. Fili lost his usual confidence and Mari suspected he would have fled to the woods under the pretence to hunt if he could.

The whole situation changed when Ori and Mari concocted the plan to drag both of them outside for some snow-related fun, and left the two behind as they threw themselves down one of their favourite slopes. When Gisla and Fili finally made it down to where Ori and Mari waited, sitting in a sheltered corner in the sun, picnicking on some smoked mutton and ale, the awkwardness was gone.

Kili had at first found it amusing, and had good-naturedly teased Fili when Gisla couldn't hear. However, from one day to the next, a while after the awkwardness had been cured, courtesy Mari and Ori's sly plan, Kili changed, becoming distant and brooding, keeping to himself. When Mari looked to Fili and Ori for any hints, they were both evasive, which she found odd.

This new incarnation of Kili ceased to speak with her other than when absolutely necessary and that hurt, Mari admitted to herself. It actually hurt more than it should, and that realisation was horrifying enough for her to steer clear of the Dwarves, only showing up for specific invitations and the training.

More often than not though, it was Kili rather than Fili, who met her during those hours. With his good mood vanished, they found themselves in a similar situation, only reversed, as before Yule.

For the most part Kili preferred the bow, and it had its benefits. By now Mari needed very little direction and their interaction was kept at a minimum. Sometimes Mari demanded they do something else which was why they finally found themselves circling each other on the packed snow behind the forge, swords in hand.

Mari had quickly, with a sinking gut, shed her bulkiest and most warm clothes in an effort to become quicker, but as Kili did the same, all hopes of gaining an advantage were extinguished.

Lightning-fast, Kili attacked. She barely blocked him, but managed to slip out of his reach by letting the worst of his impact slide off, twirling to the side. He wasn't that much taller than she, only four inches or so, much less than average guys had towered over her back home. However, he was a Dwarf after all, being able to put a lot of weight behind his attacks. Usually he held back on that, but it was clear it was not going to be the case this day. He made another attack but this time she fared better and hit him on his back with the flat side of her sword.

"You're dead!" she shouted as he regained his balance.

He whipped his head around and glared at her and she winced when she met his eyes. This had clearly been a bad idea, and she found herself more often than not scurrying out of his reach because she couldn't parry his blows.

She initiated an attack, which she quickly realised had been a bad move. Within moments she found herself on her belly, her right arm twisted up her back and Kili's knee placed on her spine, keeping her pinned down. Sticking his sword in the snow next to her face he used it as support as he leaned down.

"I say you're quite dead," he growled.

It hurt. He had twisted her arm a fraction too high up, and he let too much weight rest on his knee. She screwed her eyes shut and pressed her lips into a thin line, suppressing a whimper. Anger flared red and hot and she fisted her left hand and smacked it hard up and back. When she made impact with his face, he lost balance and his grip on her slacked.

She pushed herself rolling to her left with all the force she could muster, hissing in pain as her right arm was trapped under her body. She cursed loudly at her ineptitude as Kili scrambled to untangle himself from her and with a hiss she glared at him as he scooted up next to her, expecting him to continue the fight. With a last effort she pulled her right aching arm out from under herself and frantically tried to come up with a way to counter whatever was coming.

When he carefully pressed her forearm against her belly and inched his hand under her shoulders slowly pushing her off the ground so she could sit, she found herself blinking in surprise instead.

"I'm very sorry Mari," he said and put his hands on the sides of her face, looking intently at her. "I didn't mean to injure you," he continued, concern etched on his face.

Keeping her breathing deliberately slow she allowed the pain to subside.

"It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay," she repeated, and closed her eyes. "I'm not injured," she murmured. Flexing her fingers felt okay and she slowly released her grip on herself, moving her arm slightly.

"Please forgive me," he pleaded, prompting her to open her eyes again. She reached up with her good hand and put it over his and smiled reassuringly.

"I hit you in the face," she said flatly and studied the redness where she had smacked him. For a fleeting moment she wondered what it would take to give him a nosebleed. If he had hit her in the same way, she'd be a bleeding mess right now, but on him it barely showed.

A grin flashed over his features. "That you did," he agreed.

"There's nothing to forgive really, but you have it. You've been in a foul mood and forgot I'm a bit more frail than you lot. But honestly, you have to tell me what's going on," she said. Kili let go of her face but she kept his hand in hers as he stared at the snow beneath them.

Tugging his hand a bit she said, "Besides, it's not like an Orc would be very considerate. I'd better get used to being thrown around a bit."

His eyes was distant when he nodded.

"Come on. Let's talk," she continued and got on her feet, not relinquishing her hold on his hand until he was standing too. He threw her a glance and nodded again. The relief she felt lifted a weight from her shoulders and she couldn't hold back a smile. They gathered the clothes they had shed and put them on again, picked up the snowshoes, put them on and set out towards the woods.

After a brisk walk they settled on a trunk belonging to a tree felled for firewood but not yet cut up. Kili brought out the water they had carried with them.

"So tell me. What's with the change?" she asked after swallowing down a generous amount of water. She handed him the water and he stared at it for long moments before he begun to speak.

"If things had been as they are supposed to be, none of us, not Fili, Ori, nor me, would have lived under the same roof as my mother and Dori. We're considered adults and should have set up our own homes. Or halls in my and Fili's case. Because of our situation, that's not something Longbeards do, unless they marry. Considering the low numbers of women, that's not likely to happen for a majority of us." He paused and drank some water.

"There is a reason why Fili and I have been travelling a lot. It gives us some measure of independence. Because it brings in money at the same time, it seemed like the perfect solution."

Mari kicked her foot in the snow. "And now you fear Fili will leave and go off and do his thing without you?" she asked and continued to push around the snow with the toe of her boot, making patterns in the snow.

He glanced at her. "I know he will." The silence surrounding them seemed to press itself into her ears. There weren't even crows cawing somewhere at the distance and she could almost hear the blood moving in her veins.

"Has he said anything?" She turned to look at him and for a moment he glanced back.

"Have you taken a look at Gisla lately?" His eyes gazed at the slender trunks of coppiced trees, and she tilted her head as she considered him.

"I look at her almost every day. We're friends, you know." Mari frowned.

"And you haven't noticed any changes? She clearly haven't said anything, if you don't know." He gulped down some more water, but didn't turn his gaze from the grey trees.

With a sigh she replied, "Kili, I clearly have gaps here. Whatever you're hinting at, I have no idea."

Slowly he nodded and swallowed hard. "She has beads braided into her hair in a very specific manner, clearly visible for all to see. It's a sign that they are officially courting." His voice was toneless and he narrowed his eyes into a squint.

Her eyebrows arched. "And how's that a sudden surprise? I mean, the whole thing is as subtle as a neon sign on Piccadilly Circus. Not that she's said anything about it being that serious, but I know she likes him more than a little."

Kili looked miserable, making her wince over her clumsy and insensitive reply, and she put her hand on his back, rubbing it. "So what will happen now?" she quietly asked.

"That is yet to be determined. Fili must have a home, but the question is where. It should be in Ered Luin, but because of this winter, he can't leave. Uncle wants to see a wedding as soon as possible, which obviously can't happen before Fili has an official residence. If both parties agree on it, they could set up one here and then at a later date move to Ered Luin."

Mari nodded. "Well, I'll not try to be cheerful and pretend it won't change anything. I know it will. Having said that, it doesn't have to change more than you allow it to. You obviously can't do everything together any more, but you're still brothers." She leaned her head against his shoulder.

"And who knows? Maybe you'll find someone too," she added softly and closed her eyes.

After a few moments Kili sighed. "I can't marry her."

Mari's eyes snapped open. "What? Why not? I didn't even know you were thinking of someone!" She abruptly sat straight and turned to look at him. "Is there a law stipulating the younger brother can't marry if an older one does?"

Kili shook his head. "No, I could marry someone considered proper."

"But there's an improper one lurking somewhere?" she asked incredulously.

"She'd not be seen as a fitting match for a Dwarf prince," he replied solemnly.

"Oh. I'm sorry," she managed. She considered this new piece of information for a while as she continued making patterns in the snow with her boot, trying to come to terms with the cold stone now settled in her gut. She had to admit that even if she hadn't articulated it, that sense of warmth he could cause just by glancing at her meant something. Suppressing a sigh she told herself that the feeling of loss was a sham one. It had never been anything but a friendship, and she was just a bit infatuated because he was charming and considerate.

"What does she say about all of this? Does she know?" Mari forced herself to look up at him. She had to at least try to act as she normally would.

A raven rawked somewhere and it echoed through the forest as if it were a cathedral. They both turned their attention to the sound of the occasional rawk and within moments a black shadow flew overhead and disappeared. Kili kept looking in the direction in which the raven had gone while Mari's eyes dropped from the treetops, travelling past him on their way.

"She doesn't know," he finally said.

"Why isn't she acceptable?" For some reason she had this morbid urge to know everything about this, but as she asked the question she could tell Kili had had just about enough of this.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry," she said quietly.

He nodded and picked up the snowshoes, and begun strapping them on. She followed his example and they headed back to the village. Their walk was quiet, just as the past weeks had been. Mari couldn't muster energy to chit chat about something irrelevant, and since it was clear Kili didn't want to talk about whomever he had lost his heart to, there was nothing much else to say. Once they exited the woods and crossed the fields to the village, she said goodbye and went home, where she locked herself in her room, excusing herself as feeling a bit out of it.

She didn't cry, but simply sat in front of the fire feeling very lonely as the twilight grew into dark night. For the first time she thought that maybe she could sense that magic, weighing on her, but then she snorted at how ridiculous that was. She was just feeling sorry for herself and that had nothing to do with any magic.

Despite sitting in front of the fire, she felt cold and shivered slightly. Chalking it up to general misery, she hurriedly tore off her clothes, pulled on the night gown and climbed to bed, wrapping the quilt tightly around herself.

In the morning she woke up with a fever making her teeth shatter and with a pounding headache, one misery accompanying another.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Mari have one thing in common - there are times when they are a bit dense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned it before, but I'll say it again - this is not a story adhering strictly to canon. That said, I have kept many things that are canon. The traditions and customs I let people speak about does have their origin in Tolkien's canon works. 
> 
> Another thing I must mention that will matter in the long run, is the Tolkien monogamy. Monogamy is a social construct, not a biological (not even among animals) but Tolkien has treated it as a biological function, which I have deliberately chosen to stick to for the sake of conflict. An emotion such as love is a poor argument in the face of dynastic power games after all, unless it has biological effects.
> 
> I am aware that there's a lot of focus on the characters right now, and not so much on what goes on in the world around them, but A) I have to give Mari some time to catch up and become at least decent in taking care of herself in this new and fairly dangerous world before throwing her to the Wargs, and B) I'm sowing the seeds of discord and conflict right now. What's happening now will have a big impact later on.

Kili's mood plummeted from bad to worse as the day wore on. Fili was spending time with Gisla, crossing the countryside on skis and Ori was at the book binders looking at his latest work being printed and bound. The older generation was either in the forge or cooped up discussing something he had no business with. When Mari failed to show up for an afternoon tea at a neighbour's house, to which they had all been invited, he grabbed an axe and went out in the woods, taking out his foul mood on the trees.

Full of self-pity, he had gone home the day before and locked himself up in his chamber to spend his time smoking his pipe while morosely staring at the fire. Something about the conversation pulled at him though, and he began replaying it in his mind, considering what she had said and how she had acted.

He nearly dropped the pipe. The silence, the unusual expression on her face with the slightly thinned lips and tension around her eyes, the dejected aura she had as he watched her head home, all of that had come after his revelation. He hadn't meant to say anything about it, particularly since it concerned her. It had been a risk to so much as breathe a word about it, he knew. Fortunately though, she hadn't understood of whom he had been speaking.

What he hadn't expected was her reaction and at the time he had missed it. They had become friends and he knew she liked him. However, she had never given him any reason to think there was anything beyond that, and up until this point she had been simply a fantasy. Admittedly, a fantasy with great personal effects, since he had crossed the point of no return a while ago. There could be no one else now.

But her reaction! He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and reminded himself to not jump to conclusions. Going over the conversation again and again only increased his conviction – he was not just a friend to her. Intense joy flooded him for a moment, but then agony struck with full force. It changed nothing. His words were still true, and the only thing he had accomplished was to break her heart. Resting his head in his hands, he considered what this all meant.

"Mahal, what did I do for this to happen?" he groaned. Regret and irrational hope warred inside him, and it nearly took his breath away. He shot up from the chair, put the pipe on the mantelpiece, and went over to the window, opening it to let the frigid air hit him in the hopes of clearing his mind.

As he looked outside, his eyes involuntary wandered up the hill and to the row of windows belonging to the Took family home. They sent a warm light into the night and he stood for a long while staring at them, imagining what Mari was doing in that moment. Finally he bowed his head and sighed.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered and reached out to close the window.

* * *

Two more days passed without Mari coming by, not even for the usual practice. As they sat by the fire on the evening of the second day, Fili noted her absence carefully. Kili shrugged in response, hoping he could feign disinterest well enough, but the agony spread. He had caused this. He had hurt her so badly she could not face them, not even the others.

"Don't be ridiculous," Fili said, annoyance lacing his voice. "You've been in an even more foul mood since she stopped coming by. What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," Kili replied sullenly, even if it wasn't entirely true. He had done something, but he couldn't even apologise for it.

Fili arched his eyebrows. "I heard you gave her a good hiding during the swords exercise and then you two disappeared. And you came back and have been worse than Uncle at his poorest ever since. Coincidentally, Miss Mari has stopped coming here completely. It's enough for conclusions to be made, and not only by me. Mother is watching you, and she's quite certain what this is about."

Kili stared at his brother as he registered the sinking feeling in his gut. "I have done nothing unseemly. Said nothing of the sort," he insisted. "I've. . . held my tongue." He made a face at the half-lie.

Fili leaned forward, gazing intently at Kili. "That may be so, but this silence is also what's alerting everyone to the fact that something obviously isn't right. This silence is uncharacteristic behaviour for you, and speaks louder than words could ever do." He leaned against the backrest again. "Even Gisla has commented on it, and she doesn't know you very well. If Gisla notices this, everyone else does."

Silence fell between them for a while. Kili held his gaze steadily on the fire as Fili kept his on his morose brother.

"If she doesn't show up within the next few days, I expect you will be asked to apologise for anything improper you may have said and done." Fili puffed on his pipe and made smoke rings.

Kili's nostrils flared and he shot Fili a glare. "How can I apologise when I haven't done or said anything of the kind?" he growled.

"Well, you know what happened between the two of you. Something is keeping her away after all," Fili said drily and Kili winced visibly.

"I can't." Kili looked up. "If I have that conversation with her, if I'm to explain, I'll have to admit what's in my heart. It would only make things worse."

Fili studied Kili through the blue tinted smoke he released. "Just how did you end up in this mess?"

"I explained the courtship between you and Gisla," Kili murmured. "She tried to cheer me up by saying I could perhaps find someone too, and I. . . told her I can't marry the woman I care for. Of course I didn't tell her it was her I was talking about." He sighed. "And I broke her heart."

For long moments Fili slowly puffed on his pipe as he continued to study his brother.

"I don't think I have ever heard a better example of finding oneself between the hammer and the anvil, brother."

Kili winced again and Fili sighed.

"You have to tell her the truth, I reckon. All of it." Fili tapped the pipe shaft on his knee, gazing thoughtfully at the mantelpiece.

"Easy for you to say," Kili grumbled.

Fili glanced at him and nodded. "It is. But it's also the best thing you could do. In the long run it would hurt less for everyone involved."

Kili covered his eyes with his hand for a moment. "Since it's never going to come to anything, there's no point in bringing it up with anyone, least of all her. It would simply hurt her even more. I've done enough of that. At the moment I'm just miserable and there's very little that can change that. Stop pestering me and leave me alone." He sunk further into the armchair, hiding his face behind a curtain of almost black hair.

"You do have a penchant for the melodramatic Kee." Fili smirked and quickly got to his feet off the floor as Kili kicked after him.

"This is serious, brother! I never understood that she saw me as anything but a friend. If I had, I would have kept my mouth shut."

Fili sighed and shook his head. "She always favoured you."

"You kept a distance and didn't particularly speak much with her outside general topics," Kili insisted.

"Ori didn't. In fact, Ori has spoken as much about all sorts of things with her as you have, but I never spotted them strolling arm in arm. You've made that a habit."

"She hugged him," Kili retorted grimly.

"Twice. First time because he agreed to help her preserve the memory of two of the most important people in her life, her mother and father, and the second time we were all treated the same way."

Kili threw Fili a glare. "You know I'm right. How you could have missed her partiality is beyond me. This is a fine mess brother. Your worst one yet, and that's saying something."

"Don't I know it," Kili grunted.

* * *

"I ran into Mrs. Viola this morning when I was out on an errand, and she had news concerning Miss Mari. The poor girl has caught a fever and has been very ill," Dis reported as she was buttering her bread during breakfast the next morning. "Mrs. Viola is quite concerned. There's no knowing how fragile she is."

Kili stared at his mother. Mari had a fever. That's why she had been missing. Great relief flooded him, until his brain caught up.

"Mari's sick?" he exclaimed, with a slight squeak in his voice. Fili smirked at him from across the table and Kili winced. Would he never learn to simply hold his tongue? His mother and uncle both turned to look at him with slightly raised brows.

"Yes. _Miss_ Mari is sick," Dis replied calmly. Kili dropped his eyes to his plate with burning cheeks.

"The apothecary has been there to see her but they must proceed with caution since no one knows how she reacts to medicines," Dis continued.

"Do you think she can have visitors?" Ori asked and Kili sent a silent thank you to Mahal for putting the right words in Ori's mouth.

Dis paused for a moment. "I can't say," she replied truthfully.

"I could bring some books for her," Ori suggested softly.

Dis smiled at him. "I think that would be an excellent idea."

Kili managed to hold his tongue and kept his eyes on the food, careful to not look up and cause him accidentally to meet anyone's eyes. Once the meal was over, he slunk off before anyone got the brilliant idea to intercept him to discuss his lapse or demand his company. He lurked around waiting for Ori to show up in his chamber to collect whatever books he had intended to bring and when he did, Kili promptly told Ori he was coming along too. Ori shrugged and picked up a couple of books, and with Kili in tow, he left the forge.

Mari was feeling marginally better. The fever was slowly coming down and was further throttled by a foul tasting tea she was given every couple of hours. She still felt weak, her mind a bit scattered, and she spent much of her time staring out into nothingness. It was becoming quite boring, and she found herself wishing for books not going into detail on the best methods for avoiding fungus on potatoes or the many ways pottage could be varied.

A bustle in the corridor outside her door caught her attention and she turned her head towards it. Her heart made a leap when she recognised the voices; Ori's mild tenor and Kili's quiet baritone mixed with Viola's soft alto. She sat straight in her bed and called out, hoping Viola would catch her voice through the door. With quick movements she raked her fingers through the messy mane on her head, and looked down on herself. The nightgown she was in was one of Viola's, and it was a bit oversized, but in a sturdy unbleached linen, the same colour as her hair, with a moderate neckline and long sleeves. No one, not even a Hobbit, could have any objections to her having visitors even if she was in bed, she decided, and she pulled the quilt around herself.

The door opened enough for Viola to peek inside.

"I take it you heard the lads?" Viola asked with a smile.

Mari nodded and grinned. "I did. Please, I'm bored out of my mind," she pleaded.

"Well then. Since you're this eager for company I think it's safe to say you are getting better," Viola chuckled and opened the door properly, letting Ori and Kili inside. "She's doing better, but I don't want to you to exhaust her," she said sternly to the two men, who nodded respectfully.

"We promise to be mindful," Kili said sincerely and Viola nodded and disappeared, leaving the door open.

Ori picked up a chair and put it next to the bed and sat down. Mari propped up her pillows and scooted up to sit leaning against the headboard. She drew the quilt along with her, keeping it firmly in place while pulling it up above her waist. Kili hesitated for a moment and then he plopped down on the foot end of the bed, using the wall to support his back.

"It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed and her eyes shone with enthusiasm. "How is everyone?"

"Everyone is doing well," Ori replied with a small smile. Mari shifted her eyes to Kili, giving him a searching look.

"Fili sends his regards," Kili said in response and his smile softened slightly. "And so does Gisla. We didn't want to crowd you, which is why we came without them."

"We brought you some books," Ori continued and placed a couple of volumes in her lap. She grinned and let her fingers trace the embellished covers.

"You have no idea how I have missed books. This house doesn't have books on anything but flowers and cooking. Viola mentioned something about going over to her cousin Bilbo later to borrow some for me, but now I'll have something to do until she has time to visit." She picked up one of them and flipped it open, reading the front page, then glanced at Ori with a smirk.

"You feel I need to brush up on Dwarven customs?" she asked teasingly. Dwarven culture and practices – an introduction, said the title.

Ori blushed slightly. "I had it printed and bound only the other day."

Her eyes darted back to the page and noted the author's name. She gaped.

"You got it published?" she asked and begun carefully flipping through the pages, stopping here and there to trace the text with her index finger.

"I did," he admitted with pride.

She stopped at a page and gasped, then looked up at him. "It's beautiful," she exclaimed and then looked down again. The illustration in front of her was of Gisla, who was illustrating typical attire for a young Dwarf woman, and it was a very good portrait, detailed yet without any stiffness in its execution. It wasn't a recent illustration, and Mari remembered Gisla mentioning that she was acquainted with Fili, Kili and Ori already from their visits in Ered Luin.

She closed the book and dropped it in her lap as she reached out and circled her arms around Ori's neck, giving him a quick squeeze.

"Thank you so much, Ori," she beamed as she released him.

"You are very welcome," Ori managed as his cheeks warmed, and he darted a quick glance at Kili whose face was carefully neutral.

She picked up the other book and studied it. It was a traveller's hand book, also by Ori's hand, covering the route from Ered Luin to Gondor, with detailed descriptions of the landscape, villages and towns and its people. She oh'ed and ah'ed as Ori showed her some of the illustrations. As she slowly went through the book and listened to Ori's account of the more amusing parts of the trip, she found one illustration showing an interior in Ered Luin that made her pause. In the foreground, grinning widely, was Kili, dressed in his traveller's clothes, with his bow on his back and his sword at his side. She made a pause as she studied the illustration, which so well captured both the environment and Kili's personality.

Ori glanced at the page and then tentatively ignored it, continuing with his tale, with Kili enthusiastically filling in observations and laughing at the funnier parts. Mari raised her eyes and gazed at Kili and smiled.

With the visitors gone she eagerly opened the introduction to Dwarven culture and began to read, pausing from time to time, staring out into the air and thinking for a while, before she went back. There were so many things she'd had no idea about. Khuzdul, she learned, was apparently a secret language preferably not even spoken in non-Dwarves' presence and absolutely not taught to anyone not a Dwarf. She understood Ori left out quite a bit, secretive as they were, but as an introduction it was excellent.

As she grew tired of detailed descriptions of the general patterns of the Dwarf clans, she gripped the traveller's hand book instead and immersed herself in the illustrations, studying them in great detail, smiling as she spotted the familiar outlines of the two brothers here and there.

She read about Rohan and traced the oh-so-familiar winding ornaments Ori had made illustrations of. A bit unexpectedly, homesickness bloomed in her chest. She'd never been much for the Viking aesthetic, but it was undeniably part of her cultural heritage and seeing these patterns reminded her of her ten-year-old self, as she had painstakingly copied a simple rune stone as part of a history project in school.

"Vikings on horses," she murmured and sighed, wishing she could visit someday.

When Viola came that evening to say good night, she found Mari fast asleep, still clutching a book in her hand. Carefully Viola pried it from her hands and looked at the page. For a long moment Viola stood studying the illustration of Ered Luin with Kili in the foreground before she sighed, closed the book and put it on the night stand. She looked down at the young woman that had come into her life, so different from everyone, and her heart was heavy. There would be much pain in Mari's life, in particular because of her involvement with the Dwarves, of that Viola was certain. Straightening the quilt, she caressed Mari's cheek softly before she extinguished the light burning by the bed, and left the room.

* * *

Mari was reasonably restored within a week, even if she didn't push herself physically. She had visitors every day and every time Kili was part of the group coming to see her. The day she decided it was time to head outside for a little walk, he showed up to walk with her. She was honestly torn over it and slightly embarrassed by the inquisitive looks Viola had begun giving him.

Kili pretended not to notice, and acted like his usual self, being all charms and smiles, which, considering his prior foul mood, seemed out of place. It was particularly incongruous considering his revelation that he was unhappily in love. But who was she to complain? They were at least friends and he talked to her again like nothing had happened. It made her day when he showed up.

They slowly moved across the snow, keeping to the edge of the grazing grounds with the village at a distance, and she found she was still in pretty good shape, despite having been bedridden for almost a week. But when Kili suggested they should pause for a while, she didn't protest. She felt fine now, but if she overdid things she could find herself barred from the outdoors again.

For a while they sat together in companionable silence and she debated with herself if she really should ruin that. On the other hand, her curiosity demanded satisfaction, and now would be a good time, with him in a jovial mood and them having real privacy. She took a deep breath and took the plunge.

"Kili, I have read Ori's book, and I can't find any mention of social status making a difference for Dwarves when it comes to marriage. Is it a secret?" she asked. "I mean, I have noticed there are some things left out, and I couldn't be allowed to study Khuzdul because I'm not a Dwarf, so. . . "

Kili stiffened next to her and threw her a glance she couldn't begin to interpret. His eyes went down to his hands resting in his lap.

"No, that is correct. Status is irrelevant. With so few women, no man would worry about her social status if he got the offer to marry. There could be other reasons for him declining, but not. . . status."

"So why is this woman not acceptable then?" she pressed on. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude or hurt you, but I have been thinking about this and how sad it is. I just want to understand," she hurried to add.

Unexpectedly Kili snorted, which in turn became a laughter with an undercurrent of pain in it. She gave him an incredulous look.

"I should have known you wouldn't let it rest," he sighed, once he reined in his laughter. He paused briefly before continuing. "The reason why she's not acceptable is because she's not a Dwarf. We keep to ourselves, and with good reason, even when we live among others. There has been no official union between a Dwarf and any of the other inhabitants in Middle Earth, but there are stories of Dwarves falling in love with others, hushed up, but retold nevertheless."

He fiddled a bit with the edge of his left vambrace before continuing, and for a fleeting moment she wondered if he was going to the improvised training grounds later. "I don't know if a child is even possible. As you may have guessed, that part is very important."

"Our family would have been rare 200 years ago, in that we are so few. But there are reasons. My grandmother was injured when Smaug attacked and died shortly afterwards. My other uncle, Frerin, died in battle, as did my father. If my father had lived, I'm quite certain I would have had many siblings. I should have scores of cousins." He sighed and turned his head towards her and studied her for a few seconds.

"No, I'll be honest. My grandmother was not injured. She was pregnant when Smaug attacked. She miscarried during the escape and lost too much blood."

"Oh my god," Mari breathed, completely stunned. "I'm so sorry."

Kili smiled weakly. "Our family wasn't the only one to suffer. Our numbers dwindled fast after losing Erebor and it became even more important to not waste ourselves on others."

She stared at the fields surrounding them as she digested what he had told her and a wave of sympathy washed over her, aimed at both Kili and his family. Her loneliness seemed like nothing in comparison to that. They were struggling with their entire existence while she actually had a pretty good life here in the Shire.

"We don't have laws like they have in Gondor, as I'm certain Ori has touched upon in that book," he continued. "Decisions are made by the older generation and heads of family, unless it concerns the clan, or parts of it anyway. That's a king's decision." With a smirk he glanced at her.

"I know exactly what my uncle would say about an Elf." The smirk faded. "But there's no actual written down rule forbidding marriage between a Dwarf and someone not a Dwarf, but. . . even if certain technicalities would make it harder to refuse a couple, there are no examples of such unions. If it has happened, and I think it has, they left and built a life elsewhere."

With a sad smile worried the vambrace again. "According to our stories, the royal line of Durin is uncommonly passionate. Or maybe it's just that my ancestor was poetic. I don't know." His smile became a smirk. "I prefer to think I lost my heart because of that passion though."

She nodded and gazed out over the vista in front of them. The smoke was rising like columns into the still air, and there was a slight pinkish-blue haze down in the valley. It was bitingly cold, but very pretty. "I find it so incredibly sad. I mean, that you don't think there's a future for the two of you. I understand the reasons, but still. . . "

He sighed. "There's a dilemma here. I could hope all I want for a such future regardless of the view on such a relationship, but she has to be the one to put the question to me." He gestured vaguely in the air. "She'd have to ask 'will you have me'. I can't. . . I couldn't. Since she's not a Dwarf, it's unlikely it'll ever happen since it's not the way others do it. If she were to ask. . . " He shook his head. "I'd never let her go."

"But you could hint?" Mari tucked the hands under her thighs and rocked a bit back and forwards as she glanced at him.

Kili looked almost physically ill as he glanced back at her. "Yes – and no. If she had been a Dwarf I could have given her subtle hints letting her know how I feel. It's not uncommon to do it. So yes, in theory I could, but if I did and she reciprocated. . . " He hesitated and shook his head before continuing.

"You have a fair insight in how easily a woman becomes a target for slander. If _I_ insisted, I would not lose my family, because I know Fili and mother would never turn their backs on me, but I'd be unwelcome among Dwarves in general. Well, unless a miracle were to happen and Uncle accepted my choice officially. I could offer her nothing but hardships and an uncertain future."

With a slight tilt of her head she studied him. "Is this about you being second-in-line to the throne as well?"

"It doesn't help. I have obligations and I don't want to be disloyal." He kept fiddling with his vambrace, turning his hand over and tugging at the leather straps on it.

For a few moments she watched the vapour she breathed and then closed her eyes. The familiar ache, the grief she still carried after her realisation that she had died, nearly took her breath away. She slowly inhaled the cold air, feeling how it froze the inside of her nose, and then continued.

"Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I have to say something about this." She glanced at him. "Kili, you never know when you run out of time. I did. I lost them – everyone I cared about and loved. I'll never get them back, and what I regret most is that I didn't tell people that I loved them and cared. Don't make the same mistake."

"Lately, people have been keen to tell me what to do," he replied and turned away from her.

She nodded. "Doesn't surprise me. I'm not saying you have to do this or that. But she won't be here forever, and neither will you."

They sat in silence for a while until Kili got on his feet and helped her up, and they resumed their walk.

"I'm so ready for spring," Mari sighed as they headed back towards the village. "I'm tired of this cold and even if we're on rations, I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be enough."

Kili squinted slightly. "I think I must begin hunting. This will start taking its toll on the wildlife soon and it's better it feeds hungry mouths than goes to waste. There will be plenty for the crows anyway."

Mari perked up. "I'm sensing an opportunity here," she grinned. "Instead of target practice, you could teach me how to hunt! It'd give me some much needed experience with moving targets."

A small smile played on his lips. "I'd be honoured to."

"Brilliant!" she exclaimed. "So. Tell me the basics."

* * *

Kili's usual cheer seemed to have been restored for the most part, even if Mari could tell he had his moments. He kept them to himself though. The negotiations with Gisla's family eventually went in Thorin's favour. Fili, with an entourage consisting of his brother and Prim, who had volunteered to stop things from going astray, went to the Thain to discuss how to solve the living situation for the two.

Mari had accompanied Prim to the forge and remained with the family, waiting for Fili to come back from the meeting with the Thain. She had been reading to Dis and Gisla from one of Ori's books when they returned. Fili was quiet and had seemed to have lost his usual smirk, a look Mari had begun associating with Fili feeling a certain amount of fear, and her eyes darted to Prim who smiled benignly back at her. At a raised eyebrow from Mari, Prim gave a slight nod, and Mari chewed on her lower lip to not break out in a big grin.

She rose from her chair, put down the book and joined Prim, bidding the family good night. As she and Prim left the room she couldn't help but shoot Kili a glance, and now she allowed herself to grin widely. His eyes gleaming back at her held amusement at his brother's expense.

She suppressed a sigh as she wrapped herself in the warm winter clothes before they left. Every moment she had in his presence she savoured, closing her eyes and ears to the future, trying to be here and now, encouraging him to do what he wanted that would make him happy. It was setting herself up for bitter heartache, but she couldn't help herself.

On their way home, she learned about the agreement. Due to the ill health the Thain was suffering from, his oldest son, Prim's uncle, would move with his family to the Thain, which left a large and comfortable smial without inhabitants. It would be furnished and simply ready to move into within a few months.

"That was fast," Mari commented.

Prim nodded. "Fili looked quite stunned by the offer and the time frame."

"I can imagine. It feels like the whole thing started just a few weeks ago! I can't imagine it's common that their courtships are this short," Mari mused.

"I think Gisla has been here two months now. What does that book of yours say about it?" Prim asked and pulled her knitted scarf tighter around herself. This winter certainly had a bite.

"I don't know if it's anything to go by in this case," Mari replied with a frown. "They are anxious, to put it mildly."

Prim sighed. "Poor Fili and Gisla. At least they get along."

"I don't think Gisla would have put the question to Fili if she didn't like him. We know she does and no one can force her to do this. And likewise, Fili wouldn't have accepted and got on with the official part of the whole thing if he didn't feel the same way. According to Ori he's smitten." Mari glanced at Prim with a small smile.

Prim nodded. "Still. The pressure!"

Mari nodded. It wasn't particularly romantic and those two perhaps never would have considered each other if things had been different. "I think they should pressure Thorin a bit more. He's getting off the hook far too easily, if you ask me," she grumbled.

"Interested?" Prim snickered.

Mari threw her friend a horrified look. Not that he was some terrible troll, but no. Just no. She simply couldn't imagine it. "No! Besides, I'm not a Dwarf. He'd not consider anyone who wasn't." It was with a heavy heart she enlightened Prim, because what was true for Thorin, was also true for Kili. She forced herself to raise her chin and push it from herself. There was nothing that could be done about it, in particular since Kili didn't even care for her.

"Well, I'm glad I don't have to be involved in it." Prim perked up. "I am looking forward to the dance next week though! Aren't you?" Prim nudged Mari, who forced herself to smile. "It's about time we get something fun to think about for a change. This winter is wearing on my patience."

Mari nodded. "I can't argue with that. The worst enthusiasm seems to have calmed down too, so I'll perhaps be able to breathe this time around as well."

"That's probably because of the three guard dogs you've been surrounding yourself with," Prim laughed. "Well, they're down to two now of course."

Mari snorted. "Since I can't change the world around me, I have to work with it." She glanced at Prim. "Is that really how they're seen?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

"I'd say so yes. If you choose to go to the dance officially with either of them you'd be left alone completely. I mean, if that's what you wish. None of the lads would dare to challenge any of them, even if Ori seems mild."

"But wouldn't that be like announcing intentions of some sort?" Mari asked.

"Sort of. But then again they are Dwarves and you're not a Hobbit."

Mari shook her head. "But we live in the Shire," she pointed out.

Prim shrugged. "Well, there'd perhaps be some whispering. If the Sackville-Bagginses show up especially."

"Then it's settled. I'm not doing it. Not even if I'd have to dance until my feet were bleeding." Mari smiled slightly. "It's not that bad after all."

"But no one really cares about what they say," Prim sighed.

"I'd not deliberately want to make things uncomfortable for your family. I may not agree with some of the things in this society, but I'm not going to make myself impossible and put you in a difficult position if I can help it." Mari reached out and pulled Prim into a one armed hug.

"I'll stick to letting Kili or Ori escort me to the buffet table when it gets too much." She smiled disarmingly at Prim.

* * *

Despite her efforts, Mari still caused a scandal, much talked about by Lobelia. As predicted, she didn't lack dancing partners, but she sneaked in dances with both Ori and Kili among the others. Halfway through the evening Kili caught her between dances and suggested a pause, which she accepted with enthusiasm.

After eating and drinking some, which almost ended with a Heimlich manoeuvre because Kili made a joke at an inopportune moment, he suddenly offered his arm again as the musicians introduced a new tune. She stared at his arm and then up at him. He was smiling at her in the way which made her heart want to pound itself out of her ribcage and before she could stop herself she gripped his arm and allowed him to lead her out on the dance floor.

She became keenly aware of everything around them and she felt people's eyes locking onto them. The blood begun thumping in her ears and she realised she had forgotten to breathe, and quickly drew a few breaths to get rid of the sense of vertigo distorting the room.

"You still have time to back out," she hissed as they stepped out on the dance floor. "This is as close to a society scandal as you can get." A quick glance at the crowd by the dance floor confirmed that they had people's attention.

"What? Dancing?" Kili asked innocently.

She was unable to hold a slightly nervous snicker back as he slipped his arm around her waist. "Two dances with the same partner, Kili! You've lived here long enough to know what kind of shock waves this will send through the respectable Shire families."

Her eyes were wide with nervous anticipation as she raised them to look at him. They were really there, on the dance floor and the musicians came to the end of the elaborate introduction of the tune. It was definitely too late now, she realised. There was only one way to do it and that was with confidence and a smile.

Kili fired off that smile again. "I don't care what they say," he simply said.

Her heart almost stopped as the impossible thought hit her, that perhaps the woman he was in love with was none other than herself. Off they went, dancing along to the jaunty tune the musicians was playing. A wide smile was firmly stamped on her face and she danced with all the enthusiasm she could muster. If this was going to be a scandal, it was going to be a proper one and she allowed Kili to swing her around in a way she wouldn't have allowed anyone else to do, in the end laughing as they went around.

The dance ended too soon in her opinion, but she accepted being led off the dance floor and soon found herself perched on a stool with a flagon of ale in her hands, with Kili on one side and Ori on the other. Prim and Marge came running with eyes as saucers, dropping unceremoniously at her feet.

"We saw you!" Prim exclaimed and giggled.

"I'd say half the population of Tuckborough, Tuckbank and Hobbiton saw us and by elevensies tomorrow the entire Shire will have heard of it," Mari said, smirking down her ale.

"I think you gave Lobelia a heart attack," Marge snickered.

"Well, at least now she's got something to actually talk about. She was gossiping quite a lot before, for no reason at all." Mari's tone was light and she glanced over at Kili who grinned back at her. Again her heart jumped around in her chest and she quickly looked away. What if? She pretended to listen and laugh along with the others as she tried to tamp down on the bubbling feeling in her chest taking all her focus away from her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedding time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta pointed out that I may confuse readers from North America with the phenomenon mentioned at the very end of this chapter. Aurora borealis is a light phenomenon which can be observed in a circle around the poles, both the north and the south poles. Here on Earth the actual north pole and the geographical north pole isn't the same which means that this circle seems tilted. Auroras can be viewed much further south in North America than in Europe, where you rarely glimpse it below the 62nd parallel. I live in south Scandinavia, on the 55th parallel, and I have seen one (1) aurora here. It was one of the treats when I lived at the 63rd parallel, in Umeå, where you spot auroras from August to April virtually as soon as you stick your nose outside in clear weather. There are limits though to how far south or north (depending in which hemisphere you're in) you can spot an aurora. At some point you will be too far from a pole to ever see this phenomenon, and it's not linked to climactic geography, but where the magnetic pole is located on a planet.
> 
> I should also say something about the ring mentioned in this chapter. The kind of bow Kili uses is a recurved composite bow in wood, basically a Middle Eastern/Asian kind of a bow, an excellent choice for someone like him who isn't tall but would have considerable strength and uses it a bit like a sniper weapon. I always thought it was odd that they chose that bow, and didn't let him use a thumb ring to pull it. The thumb ring allows for a more smooth release and you can hold the bow for longer. The Dwarves are always hinted as great crafts people, with an eye for detail, as well as great engineers, so IMO it would have made sense for them to not only use a recurved composite bow, but the thumb ring too, adding finesse and cleverness to the actual strength you need to pull that kind of a bow, again and again. Since this is an AU, well, meet the thumb ring. If you wish to know more, I suggest Googling the words thumb ring archery.
> 
> With this impromptu lecture out of the way, we can go on with the show.

"What were you thinking?" Thorin growled at Kili.

The two men sat at the large table where breakfast had been served for the members of the household and their guests, soon to become family too. The meal had been tense and eventually everyone had slowly trickled out the door one by one, leaving Thorin and Kili alone at the messy table.

Kili had felt his uncle's glares from the moment he had entered the room and his cheer had melted away like a snow drift in the warm April sun. The pitying looks Fili and Ori sent him only made it worse. But he didn't consider himself a coward and he waited out the others, steeling himself to face whatever wrath Thorin had saved up for him.

"It was the spur of the moment. We don't care for such rules, and I know she wasn't raised that way. In fact, it's a recurring complaint she has, and I. . . " he replied evasively and shrugged. It was at least partially true.

"Miss Mari is the one who has to live with the consequences of your actions!" Thorin didn't raise his voice, but his words lashed like a whip. Kili's head snapped up and his startled brown eyes met his uncles blue glare.

"Though she has been here for some time now, this world is still new to her and she may not always understand what the consequences of certain actions can be. You however, know exactly what's expected from a young woman in the Shire. I understand that you acted in a misguided effort to make her feel more at home, but just think about how this is perceived by people in this village, Tuckbank and in Hobbiton! It's fortunate Dwalin is in Bree because he would have wrung your neck for your thoughtless behaviour."

Kili's mouth went dry as his mind raced. He had expected a long interrogation about his interest in Mari, which he was certain he would have faced if Dwalin, and not Thorin, had been on the other side of the table. Instead his uncle gave him the only acceptable explanation for his behaviour the night before – a friendly attempt to make Mari feel less cornered by the rules she sometimes found so hard to adjust to.

Relief and shame warred inside his chest – relief that Thorin always gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought highly of him, and shame because he wasn't going to be upstanding and honest with his uncle and king. He also felt shame for the relief he felt over Dwalin's absence. Dwalin had a sharp eye like his brother Balin, but he didn't bother with diplomacy.

"I'm very sorry," he said and dipped his eyes, channelling his shame, knowing Thorin would interpret it as him regretting what he'd done, which he sadly had to admit he didn't. It had been worth all of this to see the look on her face and hear her laughter. Besides, he was getting off the hook unexpectedly easy.

Thorin huffed. "Direct your apologies to Miss Mari and Isembard's family." Slowly he picked at the mess on the table for a while. Kili waited silently, keeping his gaze on the plate in front of him. His best strategy to get out of this kind of reprimanding lecture was always to not talk more than necessary and give away as little as possible.

"I don't particularly enjoy doing this, but I must break our tradition to try to contain the damage you have done. I can't let such talk and slander harm her, not when the one causing this is of my own blood."

Confusion had Kili raising his eyes to look at Thorin. "The announcement of the wedding must be made today. I can think of no other way we can direct people's attention away from this scandal." Thorin's eyes were like flint. "You think about this young man. Your brother also has to pay the price for your behaviour so I expect you to repent and learn from this."

With a heavy heart Kili nodded, with his eyes glued to the surface in front of him. Fili always saved him. He had done it as long as Kili could remember and his debt to his older brother was astronomical. This time it was serious though. Weddings were serious affairs for them and far too many compromises had already been made.

"If it's not-" Kili began, but was silenced by Thorin who waved dismissively at him.

"Go," he simply said with a voice revealing held-back anger, and he turned to stare out the window. Kili rose slowly from his seat, giving his uncle a long look before he quickly exited the room, closing the door behind him with a heavy sigh.

"I forgive you," Fili said in the semi darkness in the corridor, and Kili jerked around, pressing his back against the door, his eyes darting around the small space before finding his brother leaning on a side-table by the wall.

"Miss Mari shouldn't though. An early announcement on an already rushed wedding is nothing in comparison." Fili pushed himself away from the table and stood in front of his brother.

"What you did yesterday was extraordinarily hair-brained, even for you. But unlike Uncle, I have no delusions why." Fili paused and stared at Kili for a while, whose mouth had gone dry.

"You were the one who wanted this to be kept from her because you didn't wish to hurt her more, but if you continue acting like this she will understand soon enough. Maybe she already has. What then?"

Being lectured by Fili had more bite than Thorin and Dwalin could ever produce and Kili's shoulders slumped.

"I don't want to lose you Kee," Fili murmured and looked away.

"What do you mean?" Kili studied Fili sharply.

"Gisla and I may have been pushed together because of circumstances, but I have a rather good idea of what's driving you." He sighed.

"I thought. . . " Kili didn't finish the sentence as he realised he and Fili hadn't talked about this. He had distanced himself as soon as he understood that Fili had accepted Gisla's proposal, and once he came out of his sulk, neither had brought it up. For once he had no insight into his brother's thoughts.

Fili glanced back at him. "That I'm marrying out of family obligation? No. What I feel when she turns those eyes on me and smile. . . I don't particularly regret the haste, to put it that way. In particular since. . . well. . . we may have. . . " A small smile quickly evolving into a giddy grin overtook him and Kili's eyes widened.

"What?" Kili exclaimed. As Fili opened his mouth to continue, Kili held up his hands. "No. I don't need to know any details. I understand perfectly." After a moment of hesitation he asked, "When?" Fili once more opened his mouth to speak and Kili scrunched his face. When he opened his eyes, Fili gave him a pointed look.

"We were at the dance, Dwalin was in Bree with Dori, the rest were invited to supper with the Isengrim family. But you didn't go with them, and you didn't come with us later when we left for the dance. You were alone last night." Kili narrowed his eyes and Fili smirked. "I still don't want any details," he continued sourly.

Fili shrugged. "I wasn't going to tell you anyway." He smirked again at the look on Kili's face, then grew serious. "I'm torn between holding my tongue because I understand, and shaking you so hard I'd rattle your brain." He shook his head gravely. "It's too late, isn't it?" The truth was written all over Kili's pained face, and Fili nodded.

"But you must think about the consequences. All of them."

"I know," Kili sighed and briefly closed his eyes before he met Fili's gaze again. Though they had both known that their paths had started to part, this was the first time Kili truly understood it and he reached out and pulled his brother into a tight embrace which Fili returned with as many emotions bubbling to the surface.

"I'm going to find Mari," Kili murmured and let go of his brother. He smiled at the face Fili made. "I promised I would apologise." At Fili's long look, he snorted. "I will. Not only to her but to Mrs. Viola too. I'll be very humble, I swear."

"You could use some company to save you from yourself," Fili mused.

Kili chuckled and canted his head as he peered at Fili. "I don't mind," he replied.

"Good. I would have gone with you even if you had said no." There was smugness in Fili's voice and he smirked the way he always did, and everything was as it should be. Kili grinned widely.

"What are you standing here for then? Come on," he said and stepped around his brother, heading towards the hallway. Fili shook his head and followed him.

* * *

The scandal quickly sank into the background with the announcement of the upcoming Dwarven wedding. The humble apology from Kili was accepted, even if Viola didn't for a moment believe his explanation. She almost arched an eyebrow at how gullible Thorin seemed to be. Mari didn't say much at all, which had Fili giving her furtive glances as he tried to interpret what she really was thinking. He had little success though.

After the announcement was made – which had everyone guessing about everything from wedding guests to what kind of pastries likely were to be served – the pace increased on the preparations. This drove Kili out the door most days, unless they had a snowstorm or Mari came by for her training, which they kept up, if not as frequently as before. Dis didn't complain too much, not least because he more often than not returned home at sundown with whatever the woods had offered that day – deer and hare being the most common. Much of the meat was saved for the upcoming feast.

What wasn't generally known, though, was that Kili had a hunting partner. Since Mari had recovered from her fever they had made it a habit to meet at the edge of the woods before they disappeared into it. Those were, for the most part, silent and focused days, only allowing conversation during the midday break. Not a word was said about the second dance between them, though they talked at length about many things.

As weeks became a month, and then two, Mari slowly turned into a good hunter, in particular hunting deer, which meant stalking their prey. Quick and eager to learn she became silent and patient like an Elf and her understanding about speed and movement improved her skill to the point where Kili had to admit that he could hardly do it better himself.

Not even coming within reach of a larger foe seemed like the best strategy for someone who both was short and weighed little, in Kili's opinion, which was why he had been so insistent on her concentrating on the bow. She would of course never be able to command the strength and stamina that he could, but she would hardly need it either. The level of perseverance she had reached would be enough for any kind of encounter they were likely to face. Orcs usually attacked in smaller packs, and such a skirmish would be over within minutes no matter who won.

* * *

On what should have been a summer's morning, the first of the seven wedding celebration days for Fili and Gisla, Mari stood for a long while gazing at herself in the mirror in her room.

With Viola's and her daughters' help, she had made the dress she was wearing. It reminded her of the Rohirrim way of dressing, which she supposed was a good fit considering from where she came. It was simple, flowing even if it was cut to fit her – and blue – a dusty light greyish kind.

With only a small clasp at the back of her head, her hair was for once not in a strict braid, or rolled up as she usually kept it when wearing a dress, but hanging loose. She hadn't cut it since she came to the Shire, and it was longer than what she really liked it, but it was easier to keep her hair in a braid when it was longer. Getting a pixie haircut was probably close to impossible here, so she had accepted the longer hair.

She sighed as studied the strange person in the mirror and fingered the thumb ring that she rarely took off these days. As her eyes landed on it she smiled briefly. She had felt quite useless after her first day with Fili trying to teach her the basics of how to use a sword, and as she thawed up in the kitchen she had voiced her doubts. Kili had caught her hand, whipped out a piece of string and then tied it around her thumb.

"We'll try something else in a couple of days," he had simply said and the loop he had made disappeared into one of his pockets, without further explanation. Three days later when she had come for another lesson, he had presented her with an oddly shaped metal ring, which turned out to fit perfectly on her thumb, followed by the first lesson in how to use the kind of bow he used.

Lifting her hand she took a closer look at it. Plain and clearly having being used, it didn't look like much. But these days it had come to mean quite a lot to her. Shortly after she had received the other gifts, she had begun wearing it at all times, only twisting it around when she wasn't using it. It was one of many things that reminded her of how her time in the Shire had changed her.

Every day she became less and less the woman she had once been. She could tell her posture was different. It had been straight before due to her profession, but she was physically stronger now. Quite a lot stronger actually.

Handling swords and bows demanded a lot from the one using them and she had taken her training quite seriously. The dresses she had worn as she arrived had either been altered or discarded, in particular those with sleeves that simply wouldn't fit over her shoulders and upper arms any more.

Changes were visible elsewhere too. When she looked into her own eyes she could tell it was a different person looking back at her. There was a confidence she didn't have before, but also something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but that she knew came from knowing loss. It all took some time to get used to, she decided.

She tried to see herself as others did, with little success, and it made her sigh. Not that she thought she was ugly, but in her own eyes she was quite ordinary with her mousy straight hair and a nose just a fraction too short and too wide over the bridge, and her heart shaped face. With a slight shake of her head she started to turn away from the mirror.

"You look beautiful, Mari," Prim said, wrapping her arms around Mari, catching her. "The dress is so different! I have to say, though, it is a better fit on you than Belladonna's old ones."

Mari snaked an arm around Prim's shoulders and kissed the crown of Prim's head. "Well, there's no risk of me stealing Gisla's thunder today, anyway. You on the other hand, will be second only to Gisla. You're probably the most beautiful woman I have known in my life." With her almost black glossy curls, fair and rosy complexion, dark blue eyes and red full lips, Prim was a Hobbit version of Snow White.

"Oh hush you. You're so hard on yourself," Prim admonished her.

Mari smiled widely. "That doesn't change the fact that you are a very beautiful woman, Prim. Come on. Let's go and lend Fili some support."

They were promptly put to work when they arrived and Mari only had a brief moment to exchange a few words with Fili and give him a reassuring hug. The place got absolutely, hilariously packed when the bride and her family and friends arrived and now Mari begun to understand the difference between Hobbits and Dwarves in a way she hadn't before.

The ceremony over, it was a riot. It couldn't be described as anything but. She was immediately sucked into the partying by Kili who pulled her with him to the table the royal family occupied, in the loosest of terms. They were milling about, eating and drinking, talking loudly, pulling practical jokes on each other, and singing. There wasn't much space for dancing, but occasional leg-kicking of the tables in time with the music was seen.

After some initial hesitation, Mari allowed herself to slip back into who she really was – the 21st century young woman from Earth, the one she had been before she woke up in the Shire – and joined in the festivities with all her heart. It made her feel like Cinderella and Tank Girl at the same time, though that thought made her just a fraction homesick. Resolutely she pushed it from her mind.

Quite late Gisla left with her immediate family, and guests followed her example. Mari, Prim and Marge were again conscripted to help out, and it was almost morning when they all but Fili and Ori finally left the smial, heading home. Mari may have been exhausted, but her heart was light as she walked the short way home.

By day five the allure of Dwarven partying had faded, and once she felt she could disappear without being missed much, Mari sneaked out of the smial to catch some air, as well as saving her ears from the ruckus inside. To her annoyance she heard the door open and close behind her after only half a minute, and she started moving out of the way to make it clear she didn't want to make small talk with anyone. With a few quick steps she slipped into the shadow, away from the torches at the entrance.

"I thought I saw you steal away outside," Kili said lightly.

Her annoyance melted away as quickly as it had flared up. Turning towards him she tried to keep her face under careful control, but a small smile still tugged at her lips. "I did. As much as I love the more relaxed atmosphere compared to the Hobbits', it's _loud_."

Kili chuckled as he slowly sauntered over the hard packed snow into the darkness where she stood, outside the circle of light the torches spread. "This is above average even for us. Seven days of the best feasting we can muster. Even I feel it by now."

As he came to a halt in front of her, she wrapped her cloak tighter around herself as much for the cold as for his presence. It didn't escape him and he tilted his head as he looked at her. "Are you cold?"

She nodded vigorously. "My nose is freezing every time I'm inhaling." She held out some of the cloak entangled in her hand in front of her, looking down at it. "This is a bit inadequate, but I was only coming out for a few moments of fresh air. Didn't plan on going on a hike." She raised her eyes and smirked.

Kili resolutely stepped closer, reached out and turned her around, gathered her in his arms with her back firmly pressed against him, and wrapped his own cloak around her. He leaned his cheek against her hair and for a good several moments they simply stood there. Mari was stunned into silence and she was intensely aware of his proximity and that she had a misbehaving heart in her chest.

"Better?" he murmured in her ear and she bit back a wince. He was like a furnace and with the added layer of his cloak, she was quite comfortably warm.

"It is." Her voice fortunately sounded reasonably normal in her own ears, which was nothing short of a miracle.

It had been one thing after another the past few days, little things, like how his hand often seemed to end up on her back, the way his eyes seemed to linger on her, how they so often ended up in a discussion and because of the volume in the rooms, stood close enough for constant brushing contact. But this was his most bold move so far and she felt . . . nervous.

The past months after his confession he had been his usual self, and though she had kept a close eye on him, she had no additional proof after the scandalous events at the dance that she was the mystery love he had spoken about. Five days ago that had changed the moment she had arrived to help with the last minute preparations. She suspected it could have something to do with equal parts slackened attention and general rowdy party atmosphere, and the generous amounts of rather strong ale being served, and though he didn't overindulge, he hadn't been sober either. There were a few times when she herself slipped, and that was definitely due to being slightly intoxicated.

And now she found herself wrapped in his arms. This evening neither could blame it on the ale though, because she had stuck to lemonade, and it seemed he had been too because she couldn't smell any alcohol in his breath.

"Can I ask you something?" she said, in an effort to act herself, but she felt silly as soon as the words left her lips.

"Of course." She could feel his voice as much as she heard it, and instinctively she snuggled closer. Her breathing nearly stopped as she realised what she had done and she was immensely grateful he couldn't see her face, which now had taken on a deep crimson shade. You bleeding idiot, she chided herself.

"How are you holding up?" she asked and sighed inwardly at the obvious embarrassment in her voice. He'd catch that, she was sure of it. "I mean, now when it's a fact that Fili has moved out?"

He hummed and shifted slightly, tightening his grip on her. "It's not quite real yet, but there have been moments when I've been reminded that he's not living under the same roof I do any more. It's the everyday things – his pipe not being in the usual place, his coat missing from the hanger, and I've not been tackled once the past five days." He heaved a wistful sigh and she felt the warm air over the side of her face. For a fraction of a second she hesitated, then she fumbled around and found one of his hands which she covered with her own, pressing it slightly, in an attempt to convey wordless support. She could tell he was smiling into her hair.

"I've been adjusting though. I will miss not having him there at my side at all times, but these past months have changed our ways already before the actual wedding." They were quiet again for a while and Mari closed her eyes.

"I'm glad you seem to have enjoyed yourself," he said, and the smile in his voice warmed her.

"It's so much more like home. No one cares if I happen to dance more than once with someone, or keep count of the ale I drink or if I'm singing too loudly. And food fight! Not heard of among Hobbits, that much I know." She snorted but quickly sobered.

"I have begun missing home though. It certainly wasn't a paradise, but I understood it. I could handle it. It's sometimes quite hard living here, because I don't feel like I belong here," she murmured.

Gently he let her go and turned her around to face him, keeping his hands on her shoulders. The freezing cold hit her again and she struggled with the part of herself that wanted to just step back into his arms. Slowly she forced her eyes upward, successfully keeping herself rooted in place.

"Though I have grown up with the stories of Erebor, this has been my home for as long as I remember. Unlike Fili and Ori, I don't remember the journey here because I was too young. I can't begin to understand what it would be like to having lost your home like you have. I'm sorry, Mari," he said quietly.

His heartfelt words made her smile. "Thank you. I have been lucky though. I live with a family I have come to love. Prim and Marge are like sisters to me. I have a surrogate family in yours which is nothing short of amazing. I have made friends." Pausing, her eyes wandered downwards and she grew serious. "In many ways I live a better life than I lived back home. I try to remember that on days when I struggle."

She noticed just how elaborate the garment was that he was wearing and her attention was drawn to it as she spoke. Absently she followed the subtle embellishment on the leather edge of his long vest with her fingers for a moment without thinking. As she realised what she was doing, she pulled her hand away and clenched it, as if she had burned her fingers, before she quickly dropped it to her side.

"For the most part it's not so bad," she continued and glanced up meeting his eyes, cheeks warming with embarrassment.

He smiled softly and his eyes gleamed in the faint light from the torches. "No, it's not," he murmured. Her mind irresolutely raced and as if he had been a magnet she shuffled slightly closer.

It was the perfect moment, she realised. She didn't have to actually do any formal asking, just probe some. With wide eyes she stared at him, torn over what to say and do, or if she should say or do anything at all. She tried to form words, really wishing she could say something – anything – but it was like the vocal cords had been tied up in knots and her mouth had turned into the Sahara desert. Unexpectedly all courage failed her.

She broke eye contact and pressed her lips into a thin line, disappointed in herself. Giving advice about not wasting time was a lot easier than following said advice, she bitterly concluded. A small sigh escaped him and his hands slipped down over her upper arms, rubbing them gently and she suddenly remembered the cold, and shivered.

"Come inside. You risk catching a cold again if you stay longer," he murmured.

She glanced that the door to the smial and frowned.

"You are allowed to go home. Every day you've been helping in every way you can – cooking, decorating and cleaning, more than those who should be doing it," he continued quietly.

She glanced at him again and smiled slightly. "You noticed?" she asked teasingly.

A knowing smile tugged at his lips. "Of course I have."

With a tired sigh her shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I think I'm ready to go home." Relief flooded her at the thought of the quiet of her room and the comfortable bed she could crash into. Gently he nudged her and she snapped back to reality and set off towards the door.

She quickly bid good night to the most important people, excusing herself with being exhausted and in need of some rest. As she came out into the hallway Kili was waiting for her, which she had half-hoped for and half-dreaded at the same time. With swift movements she slipped into the layers supposed to stave off the cold while he watched her, something she was intensely aware of. Though nothing had been said, there had been a subtle change in his way of looking at her. Distracted by the meaning of this change, it wasn't until she was finished and they stepped outside that she noticed that he was fully armed. She stopped abruptly and stared at the bow and quiver on his back.

He glanced at her and lifted his snowshoes off a peg. "I may be relatively insensitive to magic, but there is something making me ill-at-ease," he explained and began strapping on the snowshoes.

"I have felt it too," she said quietly and reached for her own snowshoes. "It's like the darkness is pressing tighter around me. I thought I was imagining it though."

He shook his head. "No, you're not imagining it. I fear the time Gandalf spoke about is drawing near." He straightened and let his eyes pan over the surroundings and the night sky. "You should not go unarmed anywhere anymore."

As she stood she squared her shoulders and raised her chin. "I won't," she replied. "The detour or the ordinary route?" she asked and slowly stepped closer, tilting her head as she peered at him.

He turned his head back to her wide grin lit up his face. "I wouldn't mind a detour, if, and only if, you tell me more about that light phenomenon. Something tells me you know what it is." He looked up and pointed. She frowned and turned to look in the direction he pointed. The next moment she dropped her jaw. Slowly she revolved to get a better view of the sky where the green, white and red light snaked and meandered, slowly growing in intensity. It was an absolutely breath-taking sight.

"Aurora borealis," she whispered and took small step in the direction of the display. "It's called Aurora borealis. Where I grew up we used to say northern lights. Way back people thought it was the reflections from the weapons the Valkyries carried." She darted a glance at Kili. "They were fierce female warriors in the service of the gods," she explained. "I assumed we were too far from any poles to see this," she added.

"Poles?" he asked.

Mari kept her eyes on the light and smiled. "I'm sensing a physics lecture coming up." She tore her eyes from the sky and chuckled as she saw Kili's expectant face. "All right," she said, and stepped over to a torch.

"I don't have a ball, and it's too cold to make snow balls, so my fist will have to do. Now. Imagine that the torch is the sun around which this planet is circling." She glanced at him as he moved close, with a concentrated furrow on his brow. With a quick smile she continued to explain the reason for the eruption of light and colour in the sky.

"This one is really strong," she said after she finished. "Come on! Let's get out of the village! It's even more amazing once it's really dark." With quick movements she snatched up his hand and set off towards the pasture land outside Tuckborough, pulling him with her. With a grin he followed, adjusting his own grip on her hand.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell breaks loose.

Three days after the wedding festivities were over and Fili and Gisla finally were married officially, the Thain died. It was the first time Mari saw a strong emotional reaction from Isembard, who broke out in tears when the news arrived in the grey morning light, rousing them from sleep.

The Thain had died in his sleep just before dawn.

The family slowly finished their morning routines and Viola, Prim and Marge brought out mourning clothes for them all. They dressed and left to attend the viewing of the old Thain. Mari felt horribly misplaced. Not only did she barely know the old man, but the fact that she had come armed had raised many eyebrows. She kept in the background, sitting by a window staring at the ongoing winter outside. A couple of hours later they finally went home and as soon as the family was inside their home, she fled to the forge.

As she marched down the hill towards the forge, she spotted a dark outline of something moving up over the hill from the Woodhall direction. Her step faltered as she studied the black silhouette against the grey sky. Despite never having seen a Warg or an Orc in her life, she instantly knew what it was she was looking at. Her heart skipped a beat and absently she registered adrenaline kicking in, quickening her pulse and sharpening her senses.

She was about to pick up speed and run as best she could on her snowshoes down the hill, when a growling sound to her left made her grip the bow and nock an arrow instinctively, aiming it in the direction of the sound before she had it in view. The instant she had her eyes on it, the arrow left the bow, hitting its mark.

The Warg fell and the Orc on its back tumbled in the snow and before he had his bearings again, another of her arrows killed him. She whirled around and spotted another Warg heading for her, but she dispatched it and its rider equally fast. Turning back towards the Warg she had spotted first on the hill crest, she saw an entire pack pouring down the hill.

Putting her right hand thumb and forefinger in her mouth, she blew hard. The extraordinarily loud whistle echoed among the hills. She whistled again, sending another shrilling sound echoing around the neighbourhood.

Then she ran. Afterwards she'd never understand how she managed to come down the hill as quickly as she did in a skirt and with snowshoes on, but she was within range when the Orcs swarmed the village. Stopping dead in her tracks, she began carefully targeting the Wargs, forcefully keeping her breathing in check after the rush downhill.

When she saw one Warg-less Orc fall for an arrow other than her own, she almost cried with relief. Her own quiver was almost empty, and she decided to save the two remaining arrows she had, shoved the bow back in its holster, gathered her skirts on her left side, hitched them up and tucked them in under her bodice to give her some measure of free movement, and gripped her sword, running forward.

She came face to face with a Warg, but before it had a chance of attacking, or she to kill it, an arrow burrowed itself deep into the animal's chest, felling it. As quickly as it had begun, it was over. She stood in the middle of the carnage and stared at the scene around her, feeling like she stood in a glass bubble. Her breathing seemed so loud to herself that she didn't hear the voices calling her name at first.

Slowly she turned her head towards them and saw Kili running towards her, with Ori right behind him. She pulled a shaky breath and as Kili skidded to a halt she half-flung herself at him, throwing her arms around his middle with her sword still in hand, burrowing her face in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her, with one hand on her back and the other on the back of her head, leaning his cheek against hers.

"Are you injured?" he asked worriedly.

"No, I'm fine. I'm actually fine," she breathed. "I killed two of them who tried to make an ambush, coming from the opposite direction. Don't know how many others I took out after that."

He pulled back a bit and examined her face. "All that hunting paid off," he finally said and there was a smile in his eyes.

"It did," she replied and returned the smile, if a bit on the shaky side.

"How's tha lass?" Dwalin shouted at them.

She wrestled away from Kili, enough to turn her head to look at him, and pulled her left arm free she waved at him.

"The lass is doing fine!" she called back, with amusement in her voice. She glanced at Kili and they both burst into a slightly hysterical laughter at the absurdity of the situation. He pulled her back into a hug for a moment.

"You did well. Very well," he murmured in her ear.

She inched herself out of his embrace as she noticed Ori's look where he stood next to them, and sheathed her sword. "Thank you," she replied, avoiding looking at Kili.

"Why are you wearing that dress?" Ori asked, studying her hitched up skirt, revealing the thick woollen socks and bloomers on her left leg. Kili's eyes dipped for a moment and then came up to her face again and she could see the question forming in his mind – who died? Thorin materialised next to Kili, catching her eyes with the same question in his.

"The Thain is dead," she said. "We've been at his deathbed all morning." Thorin slowly averted his eyes and for some reason she was keenly aware of his reaction and it sent a shiver up her spine. "I came to tell you."

"It has begun," Thorin growled, turned, and left.

"Yeah, I'd say so too," she agreed quietly and she stared at the snow-covered ground, listening to Thorin issuing orders about taking care of the corpses. People were slowly flocking, staring at it all with wide eyes, but she ignored them, slowly tugged her skirts lose from the bodice, letting them fall back into place, and begun helping the others with the gruesome task of cleaning up.

As she finally sat in front of the familiar fireplace in the Dwarven home, the adrenalin lost its grip and the reality of what had happened struck her. She stood and left the parlour. She fled to Fili's old room, sank down on the floor, and as she leaned against the bed, the tears came, scalding her cheeks. Fear had clutched her heart with a death grip, but she had pushed it down to save herself. And she had killed. These had been Orcs. They were people, even if they were an enemy who wouldn't hesitate to take her life.

She wrapped her arms around herself to try to do something about the cold that made her shiver, as well as to try to comfort herself in her misery. No reading she had made could have prepared herself for this moment. For months she had trained for this, killed even, but the threat had still been so superficial and vague. Now it was very real.

For a while she tried to find words for the sickening feeling she had that she, Mari, had killed several people. It was difficult to face that she was killer, and she briefly wondered how Dwalin managed. With a new wave of agony came the realisation that he probably didn't even see them as people; probably less worthy than the woodland animals. Her entire upbringing revolted against that kind of thinking, but she almost screamed at herself that she was a hypocrite. She had taken life for months and she rationalised it by them being animals. But it was life. Always life.

Her head was spinning and she felt like she might throw up, but she swallowed it down as she reasoned with herself. She wouldn't have been able to even have this crisis had she been dead. Orcs didn't take prisoners, she knew that, and she began wondering what made them what they were. She knew next to nothing about them.

Were there even female Orcs? Perhaps they shared a trait with the Dwarves – that they didn't emphasise the difference that existed. Everyone looked much the same at a cursory glance, in particular in this kind of situation. What would an Orc child even look like? Where did they live? Her mind was too scattered to remember what she had read about them, and she gave up and banged her head against the bed as a new attack of sobs tore through her.

The gathered group watched Mari get up and leave and they let her slip out of the room without question. Dori's face betrayed the sympathy he had for her. Dis' eyes caught his and for a long while they shared the silent grief that they couldn't protect the younger generation from war and death. They never could, though it wasn't for lack of trying.

In the heavy silence Kili started glancing at the door through which she had disappeared. By now he knew enough about her to know she wouldn't ask for company, support or help, always ready to go through whatever was thrown at her on her own. So far though she had always accepted it if it was offered, and he debated with himself whether he should go after her.

He easily could imagine how she felt in this moment. The first time he found himself in a skirmish, he had been quite miserable afterwards, despite having had years of Dwalin's schooling. Mari didn't. His eyes wandered over the family he knew so well and shame welled up, shame that he even hesitated over this. It was the right thing to do no matter what he felt for her, and with that realisation he rose and left too.

Dwalin watched the inner debate play out on Kili's face and when he left, Dwalin breathed a not-quite sigh, closing his eyes and ears to the future problems that could arise with those two. His priority at the moment was the discovery that they had a decent warrior in their midst that up till now had escaped his attention, and most likely Thorin's as well. It clearly had been a mistake not keeping an eye on the girl's progress.

"Tha lass is rivallin' Kee with her shootin'," he ground out. "And she does it in skirts," he added, unable to hide that he considered that to be a feat in itself. The words hung in the air between them, and Dwalin and Thorin eyed each other, as Thorin pondered this fact.

"We need every hand we can get," Thorin finally said.

Someone rapped on the door and Mari looked up from her spot on the floor. She was completely torn up, and she honestly wanted to tell who ever it was on the other side to sod off, but she didn't. None of them deserved it. She pulled a deep breath and asked them to enter. Her voice was hoarse and thick and she sounded exactly how she felt. Terrible.

Unsurprisingly it was Kili who stepped inside and closed the door behind him, and she almost snorted at the sight of him. She let her head fall back against the bed again. Resolutely he crossed the floor, sank down next to her, scooped her up into his lap, and cradled her as she sank into his chest, leaning her head against his. Closing her eyes, she decided she could stay like this for a very long time.

"Sorry about coming undone like this," she whispered. "But I've never killed . . . people before."

To her surprise he fished out a handkerchief and handed it to her. She gratefully accepted it and began cleaning herself up.

"I grew up with them as our sworn enemies and I have never thought of them as people as such," he murmured. "It didn't help me when I faced them the first time, though. I'm no stranger to killing now, but it's never easy."

She blew her nose. Taking a deep clearing breath she clutched the handkerchief in her hands. "It helps to hear that last bit. Thank you," she replied and in response Kili pressed a kiss into her hair. Despite her misery, it made her smile. It all seemed to fall into place, her perspective on what really was important in life, as well as the truth, that he cared for her and no one else.

Anguish dissipated and was gradually replaced with calm, and for a while she breathed slowly, almost smiling at the odd strength she felt, basking in it. Her usual fears were gone and it was a wondrous feeling.

"Kili, I have to ask you something." Her voice was quiet but steady with her new-found assertiveness.

She felt him stiffen and then relax again. When he didn't reply, she straightened and raised her head and looked unwaveringly at him. He avoided her and trained his eyes on her hands in her lap instead. Reaching up, she cradled his face in her hands and gently nudged him to face her, and he finally met her eyes. For a couple of seconds all he did was gaze sincerely at her.

"Go ahead. Ask." His voice was slightly husky and his hands tightened their grip ever so slightly.

She tilted her head slightly. "Would you have me?" she asked.

His eyes widened in surprise and he simply stared at her for several moments. She watched astonishment and disbelief march across his features, and then relief and real happiness took over. "Yes," he finally said and grinned widely. "Yes of course I would," he breathed.

She leaned in and kissed him, setting a slow and languid pace, partly because her crying had clogged up her nose and she needed to come up for air now and then. His hands found its way to the by-now messy rolled up hair, pinned in place at the nape of her neck. With deft fingers he made a short work with the pins, and she heard them drop on the floor behind her, releasing her hair. Slowly he pushed his fingers into her hair, careful not to get caught in any knots and it dawned on her that this probably had some meaning she didn't quite understand. She wanted to ask, but decided it could wait.

As she broke the kiss to breathe again, she leaned her forehead against his and smiled.

"If you only knew just how much I hoped you would ask," he said and sighed.

"Mmm," she replied thoughtfully. "It would have been simpler if you had given me some decent clues. I was never limited by tradition, because we don't have those rituals any more."

She pulled back slightly so she could meet his eyes. "Formality doesn't matter to me. Contracts, declarations to the world, blessings, whatever it is – I don't need that. I'd be happy just being with you. And I'm used to life being tough so it doesn't exactly frighten me."

Kili seemed to have lost his ability to speak, and could only stare at her with almost black eyes. She brushed his bangs aside and smiled.

"I love you," she whispered, which seemed to wake him up and a long string of incomprehensible words streamed out of his mouth. Her eyebrows shot up.

"I didn't understand a word of that," she said.

A lopsided smile made his eyes gleam. "Sometimes it's simply easier to find the right words in my own language." He took a deep breath. "I love you as well. I have fought this every day, and every day I lost because my heart wasn't in it."

She nodded. "So what do we do now? I mean, I'm . . . " she hesitated because she didn't want to call herself improper or unacceptable. She didn't think she was, even if other people's prejudice made them think she was. Kili dove in and kissed her before she could say anything more.

"We'll think of something. I'm not letting you go now that I have you."

The strength in the euphoria she felt was equal to the misery she had experienced minutes ago and she revelled in it. She knew it was a bit escapist, but she didn't care. Quickly she begun extracting herself from his grip and grinned at his questioning face, while she scrambled around, getting entangled in the hopeless skirts of the ill-fitting dress she was wearing. With a firm grip on the offensive fabric she hitched up the skirt and straddled him, with her knees on the hard wooden floor.

"I have to say I prefer trousers," she grumbled, and Kili snorted.

"There are advantages with skirts too. Well, maybe not so much in winter, but in summer . . . " he replied mischievously and with as firm grip on her waist he nudged her closer, and she laughed heartily at the implication.

"And here I have been under the impression that sex was off the menu," she smirked.

His amusement faded and he made a face, glancing away from her.

"Hey," she said and caught his face in her hands again. "Remember, I don't know anything about how this is done beyond the actual asking part so you'll have to bear with me." She tilted her head slightly. "I hope some occasional snogging is fine though." He struggled for a moment with the translation. "It's kissing, Kili," she clarified.

"It certainly is," he replied and caught her lips.

* * *

Unexpectedly, Mari found herself in Fili's old room again the following day. From one day to the next it became her new home, though she had to admit it didn't feel like it. The day before she had been hauled outside when she and Kili finally had emerged, and the demand was put on her to show what she could do with her bow. After about ten minutes of the worst Kili could throw at her as exercises went, Thorin decided he had seen enough.

They marched her home and Thorin locked himself in with Isembard and Viola and when he came out, he told her to pack up her things. She gaped at him.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"You are to pack up your belongings. The forge will be your new home." He said it like a commander, leaving no room for protests. It rubbed Mari in all the wrong ways and after an initial second of shock, she narrowed her eyes at him, blinding red anger welling up inside. She had been through enough for one day and wasn't going to accept decisions made over her head.

"Are you attempting to order me around like one of your subjects?" Her voice was calm but had a certain timbre to it which made her voice carry. "Then I have some news for you Thorin. You have no jurisdiction here."

Everyone froze and in the corner of her eyes she saw Kili's panic well up, but she ignored it, focussing solely on his uncle. Dwalin was the first to intervene as he stepped up next to Thorin, determinedly locking eyes with him. After a few seconds of warring glares, Thorin took a deep breath and turned his eyes back to Mari.

"Miss Mari, I would like to explain the reason for this decision," he begun with forced patience.

"I'm all ears." She crossed her arms over her chest, planting her feet firmly on the floor under her, with a slightly raised chin.

When he finished explaining, she had dropped her arms to her sides and her anger had vanished. Thorin and Dwalin had recognised her usefulness but having her up the hill without any means of communication was a problem, hence Thorin's decision that she should move. This time they had been lucky when the Orc pack had attacked, but they didn't expect the odds to be that favourable again.

"You could have simply told me this from the start," she sighed. "Of course I'll help protect people here. I didn't hesitate when I spotted that first Orc, and I'd do the same thing all over again." Thorin gave her a curt nod before accepting some tea while they all waited for Mari to pack up her things.

It had been an odd thing, finding herself in the Dwarven home that evening, listening to the discussions as she tried to keep her eyes from wandering over to Kili. Kili, Ori, and she had stayed for a while by the fire after the others went to bed. But as soon as the silence in the house indicated the others had settled in for the night, Ori quietly bid them goodnight and slipped away, leaving Kili and her alone in the parlour. The second Ori was gone Kili scooted over from where he had been sitting on the floor and caught her hand, and she turned to look at him.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly.

"Better than I imagined. I feel a bit empty though. Tired, but restless." She slowly slipped down from the chair and seated herself next to him on the floor with her legs crossed, something made much easier after she had gotten rid of the irritating dress she had worn earlier in the day.

"You may still struggle for a while," he murmured and laced their fingers together.

She nodded. "I know."

"I can tell you're going to try to deal with it on your own," he sighed and tilted his head as he studied her face. With a shrug she ducked her head, but he caught her chin with his free hand and stopped her. "Mari, you are not alone. Everyone in this house is aware of what you may face in the days and weeks to come. No one would think any less of you if you came to someone for help. Even in the middle of the night."

"A nice thought, but I'm not going to cry on Thorin's shoulder." She made a face at the thought.

"There is me." He smiled briefly and let his hand drop.

"Yes, that would look just great, wouldn't it?" she snorted.

He sent her a pleading look. "Mari, don't hesitate because of any such worries. I'd never . . . " Closing his mouth, his eyes dropped to their joined hands.

"Don't make promises you might not be able to keep, Kili," she said mildly. "I wouldn't want to make them myself."

"So you're going to carry the pain on your own," he murmured sadly.

"I didn't say that. I just pointed out that neither you nor I should make any promises about what we wouldn't do."

When he looked up she smiled at him, and he returned it. "But will you promise to seek me out if it wakes you up or haunts you?"

They sat for a long while gazing at each other. Finally she nodded. "I promise."

Smoothly he got on his feet and pulled her along. "As much as I like having you all for myself, you need your sleep," he said and let her hand go. Quietly they headed towards their chambers and soon after climbing to bed, Mari slept.

But in the dead of night one of the Orcs she had killed found her in her dreams and when he swung his scimitar she found she couldn't move, and she woke up as the weapon was about to hit her, with agony and fear driving her out of bed. She stood for a minute breathing, trying to keep herself together. Her eyes went to the door and she stared at it, willing herself to calm down.

"It was just a dream," she whispered to herself. She stepped towards the fire to get it going, and clumsily banged straight into a small table. She cursed loudly and stumbled into the chair next to it, and a new string of profanities came over her lips. Sinking down on the floor, tears rose in her eyes both because of pain and despair. She half sat on the floor and simply let the tears stream, too distressed to do much about anything. A hurried knock on her door was the forewarning she got, and the next moment it burst open and Kili was next to her, helping her up.

"I heard you," he said anxiously. "What happened?"

She told him about the dream, how she had tried to calm herself, and how she had stumbled over the furniture she didn't quite see in the unknown room. He sat her down in the chair and quickly threw some wood on the fire before he was on his knees on the floor before her, clutching her hands in his.

"It's so silly. I just wanted some light and it was getting a bit cold," she sniffled.

Someone clearing their throat had them both turning their heads, catching sight of Ori who looked concerned, if a bit shy, where he stood in the doorway. Mari smiled through her tears at him. He shuffled inside and put the knocked-over table into place again.

"Do you want something? I could make some tea, or some honey ale perhaps?" he asked quietly.

Shivering slightly she nodded. "Some ale wouldn't be so bad," she agreed. Ori disappeared towards the kitchen and Kili got the quilt from her bed and wrapped her up in it before turning his attention back to the fire for a while. When Ori returned it was filling the room with cheerful light and warmth and though Mari felt like she had a permanent chill making her shiver, the effect of the dream slowly faded.

Clutching her mug, she listened to Ori and Kili quietly talking, Ori in the other chair in the room and Kili still on the floor, leaning against her chair and legs, mirroring how she so often sat. Once she had finished her ale and put down the mug, she snuggled up in her quilt and leaned her head against the backrest as she listened to the discussion. She didn't know when, but at some point she had fallen asleep. For a moment she resurfaced as she was being put back into her bed, but went back to sleep again as Kili's familiar hand gently brushed her hair out of her face.

A knock on her door woke her up in the morning, and it turned out to be a concerned Dis who had heard about the night terror from Ori and Kili. Mari gave her a brief summary of the dream and her embarrassing stumble through the room at which Dis caught her hand, pressing it with a small smile.

"I think it was my swearing that woke them up to be honest," Mari said, unable to hold back her own smile.

Dis nodded. "It could also be that they both were concerned and perhaps kept an ear out for you. Ori cares deeply even if he finds it hard to know what to say or do. These things always came a lot easier to Kili."

Mari simply nodded. Personally she was certain Ori held back for Kili's sake. Ori was observant and his behaviour the past twenty-four hours seemed to her to be more about consideration for them both, allowing them to have time to themselves as well as doing some careful chaperoning, or at least the pretence of it.

"I hope you know you can always seek out any of us. We don't scorn this kind of suffering and we are aware that it can take a long time for these experiences to lose their sharp edges," Dis continued. "Dwalin may seem unruffled, as may my brother, but I have seen the same thing happen to them. Thorin was plagued by the memories of Azanulbizar for decades."

"That I can believe. My little brush with the Orcs is nothing in comparison," Mari sighed.

"Azanulbizar was extreme. You faced death Mari, and that will put its mark on you. It doesn't have to be a slaughter to do it." Dis caressed Mari's cheek.

"Have you fought?" Mari asked quietly.

"I have." Dis pressed her lips tightly together for moment. "I was able to save my boys, but not my husband." Her voice was rough and she averted her eyes.

Mari immediately scooted closer and threw her arms around Dis' shoulders, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Dis patted her gently on her back and Mari pulled back, her eyes brimming with sympathy.

"Thank you, dear," Dis sighed. "It became the turning point in all our lives, not only for me and my sons. And I know Fili remembers. Kili was just a toddler and he really has no memories of anything before we came here to the Shire. Just as well." She smiled at Mari.

"I'll tell you more some time, but not now, because breakfast is waiting. Don't linger or the wolves down in the kitchen will eat it all." She rose from the bed and left after another quick caress of Mari's cheek.

Mari got on her feet and started to unpack her things. There had hardly been any point to bringing her dresses, but she had done so anyway. It reminded her that not so long ago – days only, in fact – this world had seemed like a rather quiet and peaceful place. She hung them up and brought out her other clothes, the trousers, shirts and tunics as well as small clothes and other undergarments.

Her hand traced the embroidery along the hems and necklines of the tunics. This was all Viola's work and gratefulness rose at the thought of how much she had given Mari. The embroidery was simply one small example of her care. A simple mustard-yellow linen thread painted the pattern that now seemed to follow her everywhere, reminding her of the people she loved, Hobbits and Dwarves alike.

A short knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie and she called out, permitting the visitor to enter. The door opened to reveal Fili, who smiled kindly at her. Earlier Mari had learned that Fili and Gisla would be back at the forge, though they were sharing what usually was a guest room now, which held a more fitting bed than Fili's old narrow one.

"Good morning, little sister," he said jovially and stepped inside.

She cracked a smile back at him. "Sister?" she asked and suddenly her heart was lodged in her throat. She swallowed it down when she realised it wasn't about her and Kili, but something else.

"Mother had all but adopted you before, and now you're to live her too? I will henceforth refer to you as sister." Fili crossed the floor and embraced her tightly.

"I could live with that, I think," she replied as she returned the hug. "So, how's married life then?" she asked as she released him.

"Ill-timed, it seems," he remarked drily.

"No one was prepared for that," she said quietly. "But, it won't happen again. From now on, they can't just jump us. I hope." She frowned at the bed. "I don't know if I have clothes for this, though. It's one thing when you can go inside and warm up, but we won't be able to for days at a time now. I need more layers, and I'd love to have a parka of some kind. Some kind of outer layer on the legs to keep the wind out and that can be waxed," she mused.

"Have you asked mother? Her wardrobe may not be fitting or large enough for a princess of Erebor, but she's a practical woman who has travelled for many years. I think you will find what you need in it. I'm certain she's going through it as we speak to equip you and Gisla properly" Fili gave the garments spread out on the bed a brief glance.

Mari looked up at him. "That would be logical, wouldn't it?" she asked.

They grinned at each other. "It would," he replied.

She snorted. "I think I misplaced my brain somewhere."

"There's a lot to think about," Fili said softly. She nodded.

"So Gisla is coming along too?" she asked.

Fili nodded. "She is."

Mari smiled. "It'll be nice to not be the only woman." With a sigh she continued, "I'd better go and find Dis." Fili wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close momentarily without saying anything. She reached out and gripped his arm when he released her, pressing it tightly with her hand, and smiled. As she headed to the door Kili peeked inside and flashed a grin at her. Her warning look made him dart his eyes around and he sobered immediately. He allowed her to step through the door and hidden from Fili's eyes she brushed her hand past his before she continued down the corridor.

"Is that the way to greet your brother?" Fili asked and hooked his thumbs in his belt, tilting his head.

Kili smirked and stepped inside, sauntering across the floor. As he came up to Fili he suddenly flung himself at him, coming in low and catching him by the waist. A moment later Fili was on his back on the floor with a hysterically laughing Kili on top.

"You're becoming lazy," Kili exclaimed happily

Reluctantly Fili chuckled. "Well played brother. But don't for a second think this is over."

Kili smirked. "I'm looking forward to it," he said and started climbing to his feet. Just as he was straightening, Fili's foot shot out, and with a swift kick at the back of his knees, Kili lost balance and toppled over. Fili roared with laughter.

"That was too easy," Fili said as they both got on their feet. Kili shrugged, but a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. "So how is Mari doing then? I heard she's the reason the attack didn't become a complete disaster for us."

Kili made a face. "Not so well. Hardly a surprise."

Fili nodded. "I can imagine. And I suppose you've been the one offering support afterwards?"

With a sigh Kili half-turned his face from his brother. "What would you have me do? Leave her to handle what happened on her own? I'm not disqualified to reach out because. . . . Well. You know." With a scowl he turned his head back to glare at Fili.

"I know. I didn't say it was wrong." Fili shook his head. "Oh, brother," he sighed. "I never imagined she'd be dragged into something like this when we suggested she'd learn to defend herself."

"At least she can. She would have been dead now if we hadn't convinced her. I sleep a lot better at night knowing she can take on an Orc and live to tell about it." Kili paused. "What about Gisla?"

Fili's face turned sour. "What do you think? She's not going to sit back and enjoy the comforts here."

Kili hid a smirk behind his hair. "She's good with those throwing weapons of hers," he replied neutrally.

"Who ever heard of a Dwarf _throwing_ knives and axes?" Fili grumbled.

"Your wife, obviously." He peered over at Fili. "I know how you feel, Fili. On the other hand, she can look after herself too. That's a good thing."

"I'm not arguing with you on that. I just don't want her out there at all."

"Your possessiveness is showing," Kili pointed out.

"As if you don't have any of that!" Fili groused.

"No, I do, but firstly I _can't_ let it show, and secondly, I know exactly how she'd react." Kili grimaced. "She doesn't know anything about that part of us and she therefore wouldn't understand why. Not that Gisla would be very happy hearing you now either."

"Can we talk about something else? Something constructive perhaps?" Fili asked testily.

Kili threw out his hands. "Certainly."

Fili stared at a spot on the wall for a while as Kili studied him with a small smile on his lips.

"How about taking out some of that frustration?" Kili asked. "We could always spar some."

With a grin Fili turned towards Kili. "Excellent suggestion."

"What are you standing there for then?" Kili smirked and started walking past him. His foot caught and he landed ungracefully on the floor.

"Who's the lazy one?" Fili said with a shit-eating grin. "Are you going to lie around there all day or are you coming?"

Kili grabbed the rug on the floor and yanked it towards himself, pulling Fili off his feet. "You were saying?" he asked.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The horrors of war comes to the Shire.

Sweat was soaking Mari's hairline and her breathing was even, if a bit on the heavy side. Skiing over long distances was not something she had been used to, but she had found a good pace, allowing the skis to do the work for her. There was a bit of a crust on the snow, thin enough to break, but strong enough to bear most of her weight and make it easier to traverse the landscape.

She was leading and behind followed Gisla and bringing up the rear was Kili. Those two were the best on skis aside from Mari and it had been decided that adding more people to the group would slow them down too much. Three they were.

Their task was simple. They were to travel around the Shire and warn people, rally them, and inform them of the plans for defence. It was a trying task, because people of the Shire were not particularly keen on picking up weapons. However, with the letter from the new Thain they passed around, it was going as well as could be expected.

It also allowed them to sleep indoors many nights, for which Mari was very grateful. The laborious task kept distance between Kili and her, but during the evenings when they had some time in front of the fire, she always took the same place next to him, with her head leaning on his shoulder. Gisla would usually plop herself down next to Mari and join the conversation, and if she suspected anything, she never touched on it.

Though Mari and Gisla had been friends before this journey, they hadn't been particularly close. As the evenings passed and various topics were discussed among the three of them, Mari and Gisla found themselves often continuing these discussions as they retired for the night to their shared room, and bit by bit, memories and experiences were exchanged as a result of it. They laughed a lot, and sometimes they cried too. Both quickly found that they were quite comfortable with sharing very personal experiences and thoughts, even if Mari carefully avoided bringing up Kili.

There had been no signs of Orcs.

Their journey took weeks. The Shire was larger than she had thought it was, and it wasn't all rolling hills with copses and woods here and there, but bogs and marshes too, thankfully frozen like the rest of the landscape. In South Farthing the distances were greater and the settlements far between and eventually they had to spend quite many nights out in the open.

The clear skies and plummeting temperatures had Mari's heart sinking as they stopped for the night. She'd had to go slower than before and hitch up the scarf over her nose and cheeks to stave off the worst cold and to keep herself from getting frostbite. Even the Dwarves felt it now and were as bundled up as she was.

They dug out the snow, cut twigs to sit on, pitched the lean-to, and got the fire started. That done, they settled down to wait out the night. None of them felt like talking much and after eating their rations, Gisla pulled the furs around herself to get some sleep before she took a watch.

Kili and Mari sat huddled together. Once Gisla had rolled up and gone quiet, Mari slipped her arms around Kili's waist. Kili circled his right arm around her shoulder, and kissed her nose.

"You should sleep too," he whispered.

"I can't. It's worse than before. Don't you feel it?" she asked and leaned her head against his.

He sighed. "I do. It doesn't do you any good if you fall asleep on your feet though."

"I'm afraid we'll freeze to death if we sleep. We don't have Arctic gear and I'm starting to feel it. It's creeping through the clothes." She sighed. "I never imagined it would be this hard. I mean, I grew up with snow and ice. I should be used to this."

He put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face upwards and kissed her. "I'll not let you freeze to death," he breathed between kisses.

"Then you'll have to keep me awake," she breathed back.

"You should share with Gisla now. I'm serious when I say you can't push yourself and avoid sleeping due to the cold. You'll collapse."

A bone chilling sound cut through the night and they both instantly turned and listened. For a moment Mari frowned as she wondered if wolves had wandered into the Shire.

"Warg," Kili hissed. Instinctively Mari's hand flew out and shook Gisla, who sat up just as another howl pierced the darkness, closer than the first. They scrambled to pick up their weapons and Mari kicked snow over the fire, killing it and leaving them in darkness with only the twinkling stars above for light.

The trees stood silently around them as they carefully breathed through their mouths, straining their eyes and ears to catch any movement or sound giving the enemy away. Mari pulled down her hood and closed her eyes. In comparison to the Dwarves, her night vision was poor, but her ears were good at catching sounds of movement, better than Kili and Gisla's. She caught the unmistakable sound of breaking crust, faint but there, and she slowly reached out, touching Kili, and directing him towards the sound.

Her hand found an arrow in her quiver and she prepared herself, still listening without using her eyes. She frowned as the memory from the first attack crossed her mind and opened her eyes. They had come from several directions, she remembered. Quietly she revolved and stared into the darkness. Yes. Someone was moving closer, and she heard it just before she also caught a slight shift in the darkness.

Her bow string sang and the arrow hit its mark with a thud. Behind her she heard Kili's bow make the same sound, and chaos ensued. Her target was wounded, but not down, and the outline of a Warg closed the distance between them. On her second attempt, she succeeded in felling it. The Orc on its back was run through by Gisla who had come up next to her with her sword ready. Mari turned her attention towards a new target leaping towards them before Gisla had pulled her sword out of the body.

She had no grip on the situation and after those first shots she had to use her sword instead, as the attackers came too close, rendering the bow useless. In the darkness all she could do was react and there was no method to her fighting. Utilising both hands to hold her sword, she hacked in desperation, using it more as an axe than a sword. Fear pumped adrenaline into her blood, sharpening her senses and distorting time.

Seconds seemed to stretch in ways that simply shouldn't be possible – and then it was quiet. Silence cut her ears and she whipped around, looking for Kili and Gisla. She stumbled towards them and caught Gisla first, pulling her along. Reaching out she grabbed hold of Kili, holding them both as close as she could in a tight embrace as she screwed her eyes shut. They clung to each other for a while, as they were regaining a measure of composure.

"These were scouts. There's a larger pack somewhere," Kili rasped out. She loosened her grip on them.

"We can't stay here." Gisla's voice was gravelly but firm.

"I can't see well enough to move." Mari sighed and rubbed her face with her left hand, feeling dirty. The skin on her palm was sticky and she realised she'd had blood on her hand, which now was smeared on her face. Her stomach revolted and she stumbled away from the others, landed on all four in the snow and retched violently. Both Kili and Gisla scrambled after her and helped holding her and cleaning up afterwards.

"I would suggest _that_ , if nothing else, is proof we need to move," Gisla said gently. "We'll tie a rope between you and the one ahead of you. We won't go fast anyway." She turned to Kili. "You find your way around here best. You take the lead."

Mari nodded. She had to agree with Gisla. The thought of staying until dawn was not appealing, and it wouldn't be any better actually seeing the aftermath of the fight spread out around them. They gathered their things, packed up and got on their skis. A rope was tied around Mari's waist and around Kili's, and they set off.

* * *

As dawn broke, they reached Samford. No one could have prepared them for what greeted them as they stopped, looking down over the village. On both sides of the Brandywine River, the smials and other structures had been set on fire, and the still-smouldering remains were like black craters in the snow.

Mari tore off the rope she still had tied around the waist, and set out down the slope with all the speed she could muster. She skated as fast as she could over the flat land where the village was situated. Coming into the village, she called out, time and time again for someone to be alive still. It was deadly quiet.

An hour of searching later, Mari fell forward on her knees and buried her face in her mittens, crying. The scenes had been horrible. Everyone had either been slaughtered or burned and nothing had been left unmolested. Men, women, children, they were all dead, and most had been butchered as they fled. Some were hacked to pieces beyond recognition, hardly recognisable as Hobbits any more. She could only hope that most had died before the worst, but some clearly had lived for a while after the Orcs had moved on, done tearing their intestines out. Eventually they had succumbed to blood loss and the cold. Intermingled with the soot, blood dyed the snow red.

A couple of times Mari had stopped and had thrown up what little stomach content she still had, not only because of what she witnessed, but because of the stench, one she'd never forget as long as she lived.

As she gave up her search for survivors, she was an exhausted, sooty, dirty, crying mess, slowly stiffening in shock.

Kili found her several minutes later, and reached down and hauled up on her up on her feet. She flung her arms around him, burying her face in his thick knitted scarf while he pulled her impossibly close, almost crushing her.

"This. . . this. . ." Kili tried to speak, but he couldn't find words.

"I know," was all she could whisper back.

"Kili! Mari!" Gisla barked, and they reluctantly let each other go as they turned around. A good fifty yards away stood a group of Men with their arrows trained on them.

"Rangers," Kili murmured and held out his hands to show he had no weapons in them.

"I am Kili, son of Dis, daughter of Thrain, heir of Durin," he called out with a steady voice. "My companions and I bear you no ill will." Mari threw him a glance as she noticed him using his mother's heritage instead of his father's, which she knew was the Dwarven standard when introducing oneself.

The Men slowly moved closer, still with their bows at the ready.

"My name is Gethron, leader of this company," one of them replied as he openly studied them. His eyes went to Mari and narrowed. With her hood swept back and her usual Dutch braid trailing down the back of her head and neck, it was quite clear she was neither Dwarf nor Hobbit, and his eyes didn't miss this. The rest of his men were scrutinising her as well, and it made her feel unexpectedly uncomfortable, just as it had in Bree in what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"We are hunting a group of Orcs," he continued.

Mari turned her eyes to the charred remains around them. "Well, you're too late here," she retorted flatly.

"If they are heading towards Tuckborough and Hobbiton, they will meet their fate, but they're cutting a deep trail of blood as they go," Gisla said, slowly moving closer to Kili and Mari. "We could follow them and hopefully ambush them ourselves, but we're only three. . . ." She glanced over at her friends, who returned the glance, looking grim.

Gethron shook his head. "That would be foolhardy at best. We are on their heels and we will keep going until we find them." His eyes panned over the destruction and death around them.

"We will continue north if you follow the pack," Kili said resolutely. "We'll send word of this. . ." he let his eyes wander over the surroundings just as Gethron had done. "These people deserve at least a proper pyre," he said more to himself than to the Rangers.

"We will not delay." Gethron gave them a long look and bowed his head. "I hope we will see each other again under better circumstances. Until then, safe travels," he said, and the group turned and begun following the Warg trail leading further into the Shire.

Gisla, Kili and Mari watched them leave, and as the Rangers disappeared over the edge of the slope leading down to the river valley where they stood, Mari sighed and turned towards Kili and Gisla, the latter standing a little apart from Kili and herself.

"Gisla," she called out. When Gisla looked up, Mari's heart clenched at the look Gisla had on her face, and her feet carried her the short distance to her friend seemingly on their own accord. Gisla was stiff as a board as Mari wrapped her arms around her. Mari simply stood there, holding her tightly without trying to say anything. Behind her she heard Kili slowly move closer, putting his hand on her shoulder.

As Gisla's arms slowly found their way around Mari and she gradually relaxed, he inched closer and pulled them both close. Mari reflected over what these things did to them, and also how inexperienced Gisla and she were, at least in comparison to Kili, who certainly wasn't unaffected. Far from it.

The intensity of the emotions she experienced nearly took her breath away; the despair, the wrath, as well as the love for the two people next to her, and the realisation that she'd do anything to keep them safe.

* * *

The last rays of the setting sun were painting everything orange when they finally made it to Longbottom. Their blood-smeared appearances and stony faces quickly got the attention of the inhabitants and by the time they stopped at the crossroad, a fairly large group of people had gathered.

Mari slowly turned her head, looking at them as Kili spoke up, introducing themselves and giving their reason for being there. At the news of what had happened to Samford, the gathered people exclaimed their horror and a buzz of activity broke out.

The travellers eventually found themselves in a warm and cosy inn, being fussed over, making Mari feel somewhat embarrassed. She saw the slanted looks, revealing both horror and sympathy, and as always with Shire folk that resulted in pampering.

"There's a bath for you, and supper will be ready immediately thereafter." Their host, the local innkeeper Ferdinand Brownlock, ushered them down a corridor to a bathroom after they had been given rooms, and deposited their things there. He flung the door open and something reminding Mari about baths she'd seen on pictures from Ryokans in Japan was revealed. A quite large wooden tub, stone floor, a spot were one could wash and rinse as well as towels and robes along one wall well away from the water. Simple but functional.

Their host hurried back to the kitchen region, and they stared at the scene in silence for a while, until Gisla snorted. Kili and Mari turned towards her.

"I'm just so happy we're here, that we made it." She smiled.

Mari nodded. "I so very much understand those who just want to get completely and utterly pissed after something like this. But a decent bath and some food will do."

"Just feeling alive would do nicely," Gisla murmured. "I feel partially frozen."

"If you need more layers to stave off the cold, please, just say so," Kili said with a frown.

Gisla turned her head and smirked at him. "Are you sure you're not really a blast furnace, Kili? How can you not feel like you're slowly being turned into an ice block?"

"I run pretty warm, so no, I don't have any issues with the cold. Not yet," he returned.

Mari glanced at him. "I hope you don't mind if we get in first then?" she asked.

"No, no, go ahead. I'll wait here," he said with a small smile, waving at them as he backed out through the door, closing it behind him. They glanced at each other.

"Come on. Let's get in," Mari said with a smile.

Getting rid of their clothes turned out to be harder than they imagined. Their fingers had stiffened and were swollen from the cold, and they soon found themselves struggling and helping each other while snickering at their clumsiness. They both rinsed themselves properly by pouring hot water over themselves and Mari snatched up a hand towel and used it to get rid of as much blood and soot as she could. Gisla followed her example.

Once in the bath Mari immediately submerged herself and stayed under water until her lungs burned, allowing her to float as best she could, before she slowly came up again, stroking water out of her face and pushing her hair back.

"You can swim," Gisla said with wonder in her voice.

Mari blinked at her. "Yeah? How did you know?" she asked.

"People who can't swim don't try to float like that."

"You have a point. I take it you can't," Mari said and reached for the soap.

Gisla shook her head. "No."

"If we ever get summer back, I'll teach you," Mari said with a smile. "Aside from the fact that it's fun, it's also very practical. Keeps you from drowning."

"I don't know if that's possible." Gisla looked down at herself. "I'm a bit sturdier than you are."

Mari glanced at her. Gisla was shorter than Dis, about as tall as Mari, and didn't quite have the same bulk of muscle. For a Dwarf she was on the thin side, but she was still built a bit like a tank, as all Dwarves were. By now, though, Mari knew that what she lacked in mass, she had more than enough of when it came to agility and speed.

"It has nothing to do with that. Much larger people than you can swim. It's just a matter of technique and not being afraid." Lathering up, Mari washed her face, and began cleaning her hair.

"We don't particularly like open water. Or rivers." Gisla took the soap from Mari's hand.

"Mmm, Ori told me once. I never quite understood why really. I mean, it's not like there isn't water underground, sometimes large rivers and lakes even."

"They are even more unsafe underground. But I quite like small streams. In particular those you can find in the Blue Mountains. It's beautiful there. . ." Gisla sighed.

"You miss it," Mari said with sympathy.

"I do – and I don't. To be honest, I couldn't wait to get out of there." Gisla slowly began lathering up. Mari smirked and Gisla's eyes gleamed. "I have to admit that I didn't think much would come out of the visit here. Fili always came across as. . . well, he was always staying above everything. Kili was the one who was sociable. For years I thought Fili's distance was because he preferred to not associate himself with my family, which was odd since Kili never gave me that feeling. Neither did Ori."

Mari tilted her head slightly. "But he's like that when he's uncomfortable."

A quick grin flashed over Gisla's face. "I know. Ered Luin makes him uncomfortable. Politics."

They washed in silence for a while, both women savouring the moment of feeling really warm for the first time in days. Mari dunked herself again, before hanging on the edge of the tub, closing her eyes. There was a piece of heaven right there in that moment, she decided.

"Mari, can I ask something?" Gisla's voice was hesitant.

Mari leaned her cheek on her arm and cracked her eyes open, and looked over at Gisla who seemed thoughtful and sincere. "Sure. Go ahead," she replied.

"I don't wish to offend, so forgive me if I've got it all wrong. . . but if I'm wrong you need to know because any Dwarf would come to the same conclusions as I have. . ." Gisla's voice faltered and Mari arched her eyebrows. "Are you and Kili courting?" Gisla suddenly asked bluntly.

Mari's eyes fell shut. So much for secrecy, she thought. It was hardly surprising that Gisla suspected it. They hadn't been demonstrative, but she had to admit that they touched a lot more than they should. Both she and Kili found it difficult to not at least brush hands or put a hand on an arm when speaking, and then there was her habit of scooting up next to him, and leaning her head on his shoulder. And eyes were eyes, betraying them both.

"I don't see any braids with pretty beads in my hair," she replied tiredly.

"No, neither do I, but you act like it. We're on a journey around the Shire. I wouldn't expect Kili to carry such jewellery around, because he's not a Traveller. You weren't acting like this before the attack in Tuckborough, so I'm assuming this is something that started after that, which would explain the lack of braids."

Mari buried her face in the crook of her arm. She had no idea if Kili had anything he could even braid into her hair if it came to that point, or if he had any plans on it.

"It's recent," she admitted, her voice muffled. Pulling her head up again, she leaned her cheek on her arm once more and opened her eyes slightly. Gisla's eyes were wide with surprise.

"You. . . asked him?"

With a thin smile Mari replied, "Well, yes. Isn't that how it goes?"

"Normally yes. But no one else has that custom. . ." Gisla went quiet.

"I'm not from Middle Earth," Mari pointed out gently. "Things are a lot different where I come from. You're not the only one to be surprised. Kili could scarcely believe his eyes and ears."

Gisla burst out into laughter. "I can imagine." They were silent for a while. "So. . . how. . ." She darted a glance on the water surface. "I mean, you're. . . a Man. Sort of."

"Which means I'm not an acceptable match. I know." Mari sighed and sat up, rubbing her face.

"Have you spoken with Thorin?"

Mari snorted. "No, I have not yet had the pleasure of facing his wrath over this." She sighed. "I feel like a constant thorn in his side, but this is the worst one yet."

For a short while Gisla sat thinking. "Are you comfortable talking about it?"

"With you? Yes." Mari smirked. "Go ahead. Ask. I can tell there's something."

"How far have come?"

Mari made little circles with her fingers, just under the water surface. "Nowhere, really. You have to understand that I don't actually know how this works. I knew about the question, but it's because he literally told me exactly what I had to do." She threw Gisla a glance.

"He explained what was going on with you and Fili which is why it came up. But other than that, I have no idea. We haven't had any time to discuss any of it. You keep much of this secret too, so it's not like I can go looking for handbooks on the subject."

Mari shook her head and then stepped out of the bath and poured clean water over herself and reached for the towel. Gisla leaned her forearms on the edge of the tub and studied Mari.

"I'm not considered suitable, Mari. I'm a Blacklock." Gisla grabbed her thick, now heavy with water, black hair and held a large chunk in her hand. "We never had a home like the other clans. We're Travellers, going from one place to the next, working where we are needed or where our jewellery is in demand. Some have found a more permanent existence, as my grandmother did. She was extraordinarily skilled and got recognition for it. So she and her family stayed in Erebor for years. My mother and Dis were born on the same day – two girls!" Gisla smiled.

"It's rare and girls born like that are considered sisters by circumstance, though my family never expected the Durins to care much about that tradition. They were royals, and not just any royals. The Longbeards were the most powerful and influential clan." Gisla shook her head. "But they did. Dis and mum became good friends with time."

"Then life was ripped apart by Smaug, worse for the Durins than for us. It was of course horrible, and our family lost what they hoped would become a permanent home, but Dis. . ." Mari's face emerged from the towel and she looked down at Gisla.

"Lost her mother," she filled in and Gisla nodded.

"In the initial escape, grandmother took care of Dis, and after that our family followed the Durins. That continued until they were both married. Mum left for Ered Luin, but Dis stayed in the south, and lost her husband."

"According to mum, Dis never wanted Fili and Kili to grow up in Ered Luin. She wanted them to be kept from the bitterness and hatred. The Longbeards had it all, and lost much of what they had based their superiority on. Thorin has had a difficult time balancing people's expectations and anger, trying to fit them into a life that is decent but far from what they were used to. But the old ways and hierarchies aren't forgotten and the conflicts between the various clans do sometimes become. . . well, Longbeards are often seen as arrogant. They came with next to nothing to Ered Luin and still expected everyone to accept them as superior. Thorin can seem sullen and difficult, but his patience has certainly been tried by his own people. There would have been a war if it hadn't been for him and Balin."

Mari sat down on a stool and stared at Gisla. "Wow. I had no idea. So is that the reason they hoped you'd be interested in marrying Fili?"

"It shouldn't be. As I said, we're. . . Travellers. In the Dwarf hierarchy we're at the very bottom."

"But something tells me you didn't just tag along with their family for the travelling part after Smaug."

Gisla shook her head. "No, of course not. There was this very real problem with the care of Dis in particular, but Frerin was very young too. Thorin was the only one who could be expected to take some kind of responsibility. Dis and mum were just ten when this happened. The Durin family were scattered, many dead, and Thrain didn't want to separate the siblings. Thorin was absolutely against it."

Slowly Mari nodded. "So your family became the extra support needed for Dis and Frerin."

"Grandmother told me they knew nothing about life on the road, which, of course, our family did." Gisla shrugged.

"And you still don't see why Thorin thought it was a good idea to try to persuade you to become part of the family?"

"It's part of it. There are other political reasons too. We're not part of any faction at court because of our low status as a clan. But for my family, life will be easier in many ways now. No one can ignore or discard my siblings or mum and father. In particular, my brothers' lives will improve."

"You mean you've been treated poorly because you're Blacklocks – Travellers?" Mari asked, and Gisla nodded. "There are certainly idiots everywhere," Mari replied sourly.

Gisla gave Mari a thin smile. "What I was going to say by telling you about all of this is that things that seem impossible may not be so impossible. It is a huge obstacle that you're not a Dwarf, yes, but there is hope. Thorin is not openly conservative. He's careful and is constantly balancing the factions, but he's no coward."

Heaving herself out of the water, she stepped over the edge of the tub. "And you have the right to know now, why everyone considers outsiders to be unsuitable and how that can be used to your advantage."

"I'm all ears," Mari said and wrapped the towel around herself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recent events must be dealt with - and they have effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that this story has been upgraded from T to M. It's the warning I'll give (not put up a warning for each chapter) and it's for grisliness, adult situations and language, but it won't go near explicit or be extreme - simply be a bit more grown up than I originally intended it to be.

Low clouds had descended on the Shire and with them the temperatures had risen to become more bearable. All colour seemed to have been drained out of the landscape, leaving everything looking dull and lifeless. It seemed fitting, Mari thought, as they made their way south on the frozen Brandywine River with a fairly large group of Hobbits from Longbottom. The destination: Samford. Or rather, what not more than days ago had been Samford, now reduced to charred rubble and a grave.

The evening before, as they had been eating their supper before falling into bed, the local magistrate had visited and had asked for their help with the situation in Samford.

"We have no training. The few weapons we have are probably best to leave on the walls for the antiquities they are. Should we come across these foul creatures, we could do nothing." His mouth fell shut and formed a thin line on his round face, haggard with fear and grief.

Even if she hadn't seen reality like that before, television had at least prepared her for the possibility of the evil she had witnessed in Samford. This was, however, all new to these people and it had shaken them hard before they had even laid their eyes on it.

She glanced at Kili and Gisla who also sought the silent council of the others. Gisla turned her eyes to the magistrate after the exchange.

"I think we can spare a few days to help you in this situation," she replied calmly with a stoic face. Kili nodded in agreement, with the same sincerity stamped on his. Mari had no idea if she could come anywhere close to their air of seemingly natural authority but she nodded along in agreement too. The magistrate thanked them, noted that they would begin the journey at dawn, and left them to finish their supper. Quietly they turned their attention back to their plates.

As they continued to eat, Mari mused over the lack of competition between Kili and Gisla. She had expected Kili to take the lead. Despite his constant dismissal of his own talent for leadership and authority, it did come out from time to time, and it was obvious that with Fili not around, there was no doubt that he could be just as authoritative as any other of the Durins.

Gisla on the other hand, though she had grown up close to the absolute centre of power, had not been brought up as Mari imagined gentry of that stature to have been. Formally, she could claim some authority over Kili now, but it was so new that it could hardly be expected from her that she'd act that way. The reality was that they seemed to have formed a united front, something Mari hadn't expected at all. There should have been at least some kind of jousting over the leadership, but there was none. For this she was quite grateful, since it made her position much easier.

The theories she'd had about this had turned out only to be partially true, now that Gisla had begun revealing what wasn't known to outsiders. She had come to realise that her expectations of the world and how people would react and act in some respects differed quite a lot from those of the Dwarves'. It had been an eye-opener, and she suspected it would take some time to get used to it, if she even could.

Mari jerked at the touch to her arm and she stared into Gisla's eyes.

"Mari, you almost fell asleep," Gisla said gently.

Mari blinked and felt the sandiness in her eyes. "It has been a long day," she sighed and glanced at Kili, who watched her with both concern and affection.

She nodded and glanced back at Gisla. "I think it's time to call it a day," she agreed and pushed back her chair as she rose to her feet. Kili ducked his head. The insight she now was gaining increased her understanding of how difficult he found her insistence on independence. Keeping their feelings hidden didn't help and she could tell it was hard on him to keep himself in check. In the hopes that it would raise his spirits, she briefly put her hand on his shoulder and smiled as she passed him on her way to her sleeping quarters.

It was a forced march, which was hard on the Hobbits even if they had chosen to make things easier by travelling on the Brandywine ice. The trio were spread out around the group, with Kili scouting ahead, out of sight aside from when he made himself known to let them know all was well.

They didn't reach Samford before sunset, which in Mari's opinion was just as well.

The effect the sight of Samford had on the Hobbits was worse than she could have imagined. As they stopped to allow for some acclimatisation before entering the village, Mari found herself slowly weaving her way through the group of Hobbits, offering a reassuring touch here and a few words there, while suppressing her own reaction to being back. Deliberately she pushed down her revulsion at the deeds of the Orcs, and focussed on what needed to be done.

Burying people was out of the question. The ground frost was deep now and even digging a mass grave would have taken much longer and more effort than they could muster. Carefully one group extracted and carried out the victims, gathering them by family when possible. The others tore down the charred remains of the structures in the village and began building the pyre stacks.

The grey weather had continued, with snow whirling down from time to time from the low clouds. It added to the sense of numb bleakness Mari felt and her day became all about putting one foot in front of the other, finishing her task. She almost felt as if she didn't deserve the way out she had, when it was her turn on guard duty in the vicinity of the village, but she breathed easier in that she could turn her back on it and leave for a few hours.

Considering the potential threat the group of Orcs that had disappeared into the Shire represented, she slowly moved to the west, stopping often to listen and to scan the area with her eyes. There wasn't much in the way of life in the fields, but she spotted a silent raven at the edge of a copse. On a whim she headed there. It would hide her presence as she kept an eye on the surroundings, she decided. The raven repositioned itself as she drew near but didn't leave. Apparently she was not the only one considering the copse to be a good place to hide in.

Soon she became aware that someone was approaching. It was open land to the west, lined by rolling hills to the north, and a group on foot made full use of the topography to draw as little attention to themselves as they could. They wisely were dressed in white too. Mari followed their approach and quickly surmised that it was no Orc horde, but these weren't Hobbits or Dwarves either, nor were they Elves. They were Men, and she suspected she knew who they were.

Before they arrived at the copse she positioned herself so that she was clearly visible to them, to avoid any unpleasant surprises that could end in injuries or worse, and she could soon conclude that it was indeed Gethron and his fellows who were retracing their steps. She pushed down her hood as they halted in front of her and inclined her head.

"I never got a chance to introduce myself last time we met," she said. "I'm Marigold Smith, usually only called Mari."

Gethron bowed his head. "My honour," he replied. "I take it you're not alone," he continued.

"That would be correct." She drew a deep breath. "The people in Longbottom rallied to come here to take care of the dead and asked us to come with them, to serve as some sort of guard. Naturally we agreed."

Gethron nodded gravely. "They are ill-prepared for Orcs and Wargs."

"It's not something they are used to dealing with, no," she said. Neither are we, she quietly added. "I take it you were successful in hunting them down?"

"Indeed we were. We caught up with them just as they were about to flee into south end of the Gamwood. They had cut straight through the Red Dawns, and they were in a hurry."

Mari frowned and her eyes wandered to the north west and the horizon behind the Men. "That's a straight line from here to Tuckborough," she said and looked back at the blank face of the captain. "I wonder why."

"The less we speak about it out in the open, the better it is," the captain said and turned to look in the direction of Samford. "Do you need assistance of any kind?" he asked and turned his eyes back to Mari.

"I'm sure it would be appreciated. I doubt we'll be finished before dark, but it would speed things up with more hands helping out," she replied.

Gethron bowed deeply. "Then I must offer any help we can. Please allow us to join you in this work."

Mari felt the tears burn in the corners of her eyes and did the best to blink them away. "Thank you," she croaked and quickly turned and begun leading the way, before she lost it and started crying.

* * *

As predicted they were not finished when darkness started falling. They withdrew and set up camp at a fair distance from the village. The Hobbits clumped together with the Men now present, while Kili, Gisla and Mari gravitated towards the Rangers. The abyss of experience was quite tangible between the two groups. Kili ended up in a quiet conversation with Gethron, and Mari took the opportunity to continue the one she and Gisla had started in Longbottom. The two women volunteered to take the first watch together, talking for long hours in the night as the others slept.

Mari woke with a start and sat up. The camp was silent despite dawn having advanced considerably, and were it not for the clouds, they would have seen the sun above the horizon. She turned and looked around and her breath caught at the sight. Scrambling to free herself from the furs she fought to regain her ability to breathe but couldn't, and begun hyperventilating.

Several yards away, at the watch post by the fire, the dead eyes of one of the Rangers stared at her as he lay on the ground, and from a jagged gash in his neck red blood had been drained, now mixed with the snow under his body. As her eyes darted around the camp, it became obvious she was at the centre of a slaughter. Men and Hobbits all had their throats slit.

With her heart lodged in her throat and tears beginning to stream down her cheeks, she slowly dipped her eyes to the ones closest to her. She glimpsed Gisla's fate but could not fathom how it had happened. With a choked sob she reached out her shaking hand and gripped her friend's shoulder. Momentarily she bowed her head as she squeezed it, then she turned towards Kili.

She heaved herself up on her knees next to him where he lay on his back with unseeing eyes and the same gaping wound as everyone else. For a long while she simply stared down at him, her mind resisting what was before her eyes. Slowly she put her head down on his still chest, with her forehead resting on the thick waxed cloth of his parka, screwing her eyes shut. She placed her hands on either side of her head and gripped the cloth tightly, with such force her hands ached.

Inside something was building, feeling like lava and ice at the same time, and she was helplessly at its mercy. She wondered if this was what grief was supposed to feel like, or if this was something else, because she couldn't remember ever feeling this way before. To her surprise she realised part of her brain could still function, think and reason. But it was clear there was something wrong, because the division was like the very essence of order and chaos, kept separate somehow, like she had suddenly been physically split in two. With the detached part of her mind she noticed that she was crying. They were silent tears, not in any way corresponding with what she felt. Order did not need it, and it couldn't calm chaos.

A raven's rawk-rawk-rawk echoed through the camp. She slowly raised her head and found the black bird sitting on top of one of the lean-to's. It spread its wings and almost scrambled into the air, rawking again, and behind it a huge Orc came into view, staring at her. Slowly a grin spread over its face and she noticed the knife in its hand, still with life-blood from its victims dripping from the tip.

How she got on her feet, she didn't know. Not that she cared either. Beyond thought, with ice in her head and lava in her veins, she pulled her sword, swinging it with a cry that didn't sound like her own voice at all.

 

"Mari! Mari!" She was being shaken roughly as someone was calling her name. She snapped her eyes open, but her mind was unable to process what she was seeing. Her hand flew to her knife but someone caught her wrist just as she gripped the handle.

"Look at me! You're safe. Nothing has happened." She managed to focus her eyes as she recognised the voice and she stared into Kili's wide eyes. During a long heartbeat they simply stared at each other. With an inarticulate cry she propelled herself upwards and threw her arms around his neck and he caught her, holding her as he sat himself up.

"You started thrashing about and then you screamed as I have never heard anyone scream before," he explained, running his hand awkwardly up and down her back. "All is well. It was just a dream and all is well," he murmured soothingly.

She sucked in a breath, then another one, and before she knew it she felt like she was suffocating, gasping for air despite her full lungs. He caught her face between his hands and looked sternly into her eyes.

"Calm down. Breathe out. Release the air in your lungs," he ordered, and breathed out himself. She stilled and managed to follow his example somewhat. "Keep letting the air out," he continued, breathing out again. Half a minute later her breathing was coming back to normal and Kili relaxed slightly.

She could finally take a look at the surroundings, though her confused mind threatened to panic again in fear of what it might face. As in the dream, it was dawn and the camp was beginning to stir. A few were up already, having begun preparing the morning meal. Some were slowly coming to life, moving around, sitting up and digging in their packs while some still either resisted beginning the day or slept. As her eyes fell on the Ranger at the watch post by the fire, he slowly gave her a sympathetic nod, and she almost collapsed with relief. It really had been only a dream.

"You were dead. You were all dead," she whispered and gripped Kili's parka, remembering what it had felt like in the dream. She tore her eyes from her hands and met his, opened her mouth to give an account of it, but realised she couldn't. It was all emotions and no words and she stared helplessly at him, and closed her mouth again.

He leaned his forehead against hers and they simply sat there, as people around them slowly got on with the morning, tactfully avoiding looking at them. Mari had no idea how long they had been sitting like that when he raised his head again.

"Would you consider doing guard duty today? I could ask Gisla to go with you. We have plenty of hands and someone has to keep an eye on the surroundings after all." He gently touched her cheek. "And I don't think it's a good idea for you to go alone after waking like this."

Part of her wanted to protest against any special treatment, and she probably would have if he had insisted she'd do guard duty. Instead he asked her, given her an option, a dignified way out.

"Sure. I could do it," she replied and nodded.

As she nodded, she noticed Gethron in the corner of her eye, crouched down just out of sword's range, watching them.

"We'll be ready to light the pyres at midday. You could leave after they're lit. We can take care of the aftermath and accompany the Hobbits back to Longbottom," he said quietly.

The words hit Mari like arrows and she felt the implication; that she was too delicate and that it perhaps was best for them to leave this site. "I'm not precious," she spat and turned a glare his way. "I had a nightmare, that's all."

Both men watched her in silence for a moment. "Then we will stay," Kili decided and sent a warning glance at Gethron, who nodded. "A morning meal first, and then we'll finish this," Kili added and turned back to her. She looked down at her hands which at some point had released their grip on him and now rested in her lap. She agreed with a nod.

* * *

They stood on the hard-packed snow silently watching as four of the Hobbits stepped forward to light the pyres. The structures had been stacked well and drenched in oil, and the fire caught quickly. Within minutes they faced a roaring inferno, and they had to move away from the fire as the heat intensified and the flames grew ever higher.

One of the Hobbits had said a few words before they lit the pyres, but after that, silence reigned until one of the Rangers begun singing a solemn tune, not sung in the common language. Another one joined in, and then another, and their voices weaved simple minor key harmonies.

As Mari stood listening, it dawned on her that she could pick out words, despite it not being sung in the common tongue. Whatever language this was, it wasn't too different from her own. Startled she looked up and stared at the Men singing, listening to the words with more attention. As the chorus came back the fourth time she knew the words and had figured out their meaning. Lost in the song and the words she was unaware of the tears streaking her cheeks, not in the grief over the lives lost in this village, but for her own loss. So intense was her homesickness that she felt like her chest had a hole in it. She hunched slightly and wrapped her arms around herself.

She had told Gethron she wasn't over-delicate, but as she took stock of the situation she had to admit she didn't know if she would be able to handle life if this was what it was going to be like now. Normally she'd simply square her shoulders and soldier through whatever it was she had to deal with, but what she had seen in her previous life had been nothing like this. By these people's standards she probably was a bit like a porcelain doll trying too hard. She didn't belong here.

Two arms wrapped around her waist and she glanced to the side, seeing Gisla's almost-black eyes looking back at her. They leaned their heads together and a shard of her misery broke off and floated away.

"You knew the words?" Gisla asked as they slowly walked towards the camp later to eat.

"I don't know the song, if that's what you mean," Mari replied.

"No, I mean, you knew what the words meant."

Mari sighed. "Sort of. It's close enough to my native language for me to roughly understand what they were singing. But no one else in this world speaks my language." She gazed at the horizon and her eyes begun to burn with unshed tears again.

"You miss it. Your home," Gisla said, as an echo of Mari a few days earlier. It brought a faint smile to Mari's lips.

"I'm as torn as you. I do and I don't. At the moment I do, because I find this existence difficult to handle."

"What did you dream?" Gisla asked, and Mari could tell she had been waiting to ask that question all day. Taking a deep breath, she described it, avoiding going into detail too much. Gisla was quiet for a long while.

"I know for certain what you are not; you're not weak or dainty. We all feel overwhelmed by what has happened over the past days. I have never seen anything like this before. Kili may have met his share of robbers and Orcs, but this is new to him as well." Gisla reached out and caught Mari's arm and they stopped, facing each other. "You're not alone."

Mari closed the space between them and pulled Gisla into a hug, holding her tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're my friend, Mari. There's no need to thank me for being one for you," Gisla whispered back.

* * *

Kili sat down on the bed with a sigh in the chamber assigned to him at the inn located in Longbottom, from where they had set out seven days earlier. The aftermath of the pyre in Samford had taken its fair share of time and they had stayed another two nights before they could finally leave. The journey back to Longbottom had been very slow, as the Hobbits had been fairly exhausted, both physically and mentally. Earlier that evening, three days after they had lit the pyres, they were finally back where they had started.

The place gave a false sense of security, he knew, but he didn't care about that at the moment. He was clean, warm, had eaten and could look forward to a night in a decent bed in a warm room. But as pleasant as that was, he couldn't help longing for the nights out in the open. For a while he sat watching the fire, from time to time glancing in the direction he knew Mari was right then.

There was something about the evening that was jabbing at the edge of his consciousness, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He replayed the events in his mind, going over the details in an attempt to find the thing bothering him.

The evening meal the three had shared had been a subdued affair, which hardly was surprising. They all had been sleeping poorly lately, even he, though he hadn't spoken about his own difficulties. As they had travelled to and from Samford it had, despite everything, been manageable, because no one had thought their closeness strange due to the cold. The times he had woken up he had quickly calmed as he scooted closer to Mari. She always slept in the middle, and the touch and her calm breathing had always lulled him back to sleep. It was the reason he still preferred the harsh nights to the comforts in the villages, where he would be certain to spend the nights on his own.

Part of him envied Gisla and Mari, who always shared chambers, as well as many tasks. The other part was relieved that Mari had Gisla, who was a tremendous support in difficult times. Mari had found her equilibrium again after her reaction in Samford, and it clearly had a lot to do with Gisla. Watching them made him miss his brother's company though. Badly.

His mind wandered back to the evening meal again. It was the silence that made him wary, he realised. The two had been glancing at each other, but there had been no conversation.

During the journey they had talked a lot, just the two of them. It was partly due to him often being tied up with conversations with the company they travelled with, both Hobbits and Rangers, but also because they clearly had a discussion of some sort going.

This evening they had hardly spoken at all, and it seemed out of place now when he looked back at the past days.

Shaking his head he quickly began undressing. Whatever it was, he was not going to find the answer by staring into the fire as he grew progressively more sleepy, he decided, and slipped into bed, dozing off within minutes.

He resurfaced without quite understanding what had awakened him. The fire was still burning brightly, but as he shifted slightly to scan the room just to be on the safe side, he became intensely aware of not being alone. A warm arm wrapped around him and another body was pressed close. One without clothes.

His eyes flew open and he clumsily begun twisting around – facing Mari.

"You were quick to fall asleep," she whispered and smiled. It was a warm and open smile and her eyes sparkled mischievously, not hiding her intent at showing up in his bed undressed.

"Mari, I. . . How. . ." He sighed and closed his eyes briefly, acutely aware of her warm touch and the effect it had on him. For a second he wondered if he actually was dreaming, but as she gingerly moved her arm and her hand grazed the skin on his belly before it came to rest over his heart, he had to admit it felt far too real to be a figment of his imagination.

"Slightly less articulate than I expected," she said, and he opened his eyes again, taking a good look at her. He noticed that her hair was flowing loose, neither braided nor rolled up, and that it was slightly ruffled. Slowly he caught a lock hanging over the side of her face, twined it once, twice, and then pushed it behind her ear.

"You took me somewhat unawares," he replied with a hint of a smile of his own.

"Still. I predicted a reaction more along the lines of protest." She almost looked expectantly at him, as if there yet were hopes for such a reaction, if belated.

With a wince he tore his eyes from her and stared at the ceiling above. "I should protest, shouldn't I?" he murmured.

"If I have understood the various social codes correctly, yes," she retorted with an attempt at a shrug.

He glanced back at her. "I think the part where you woke me up wearing absolutely nothing may have something to do with me forgetting about any protests." For a moment he hesitated. "You're constantly surprising me," he added.

She shifted slightly and he willed himself to not roll over and pull her impossibly close.

"I have been fairly obedient, trying to act appropriately." Her voice was quiet and sincere, even if the amusement still was lurking in her eyes.

"More than I expected," Kili admitted with a lopsided grin.

"Yes well, I have heard that it's a virtue to be cautious," she smirked. "But I think I understand what you're saying. Lately I have probably come across as. . . uncharacteristically conservative?"

"Mari, you are trying to fit into an unfamiliar world," he begun but went silent. With a sigh he rubbed one side of his face with his palm, betraying his frustration. "I apologise. This entire journey I have promised myself I would speak with you – tell you about us. About how I hope we can have a future together. Cowardly as I am, I have put it off. My excuse was that I was looking for the proper moment. I have to admit that I don't think this is such a moment. You're a bit too distracting which is why I should protest and tell you we need to talk about a few things first."

"Yeah, about that. . ." Mari slowly begun. "Gisla and I have had some interesting discussions lately, in which she has explained a number of things you left out when it comes to personal relationships. And other things of course, but it started with her confronting me about us and what I actually know about you. Precious little, it turned out."

Startled he looked back at her and it felt like the last piece of a puzzle fell into place. "I was wondering why you were so quiet with me around," he breathed.

She smiled. "Yeah, well, it did sort of concern you so. . ." Her smile disappeared and her brow furrowed and absently she begun tracing his collarbones, making him want to both laugh and groan. As long as she did it on his clothing it was one thing, but like this, it was coming close to torture. In particular as her fingers continued to wander over his skin, over his shoulder and back to his chest.

"I just thought you kept to yourself because, well, people tend to do that," she continued. "Stick to those who are familiar. In particular when displaced. I didn't expect it to have anything to do with. . . well, nature to be honest. That changes a lot of things, when monogamy is hard coded into someone."

He was completely still as he listened, unable to tear his eyes from her.

Still frowning she sighed. "There are so many things that make sense now that I know. It's really rather fascinating, to be honest. And ever so slightly terrifying."

Kili's eyebrows shot up. "Terrifying?" he asked with a squeak in his voice.

"Well, the fact that you form such an attachment and only once. . . that is a frightening concept for me. There are so many things that can go wrong and where does that leave you? If you died that would be awfully painful for me, but I could, in theory, move on with life, find someone else. You can't. Don't tell me you don't find that a wee bit terrifying yourself."

"I prefer not to think about loss," he murmured.

A quick grin flashed over her face. "I can't say I like it much either. But lately we've seen a few fights which could have cost you or me our lives."

He nodded and sighed. "I'm very aware of that."

"It's really that which brought me here." She raised her hand and brushed his hair away from his forehead with her fingers, tracing the hairline, again managing to tease, seemingly without being aware of the effect on him.

"I seem to be particularly dense when it comes to life lessons. I know the present is all I have and I don't know when it ends. Or when yours ends. When Gisla told me about the actual reason why you keep to yourself, that whole One thing, I realised that you have no choice. You passed the point of no return a while ago. It made me wonder what you're waiting for really, but I think I may have an idea."

She inched closer and kissed him briefly. "So. On the one hand we have this bloody unbreakable rule that you must be married to be allowed to actually have a reasonably normal relationship. It's the same everywhere. But you lot are completely opposed to the idea of someone like me. I'm not even from this world. Quite a big dilemma here." With a slight tilt to her head she paused, looking amused.

"Casual relationships aren't your thing so if two people end up in bed, it is pretty serious. Marriage serious. I have been thinking a bit and perhaps it would be an idea to test this. You know, what's more important? Is it me being a troublesome alien, or is it the need to put an official stamp on what most would consider scandalous behaviour? We seem to have a talent for scandalous behaviour, and something tells me this has crossed your mind."

He shifted himself to fully face her and finally reached out, slipping an arm under her head and the other around her waist. "It has. It's something I have been wrestling with a lot. Crossing Uncle would be unpleasant, but it's not the end of the world. How to ask this of you, that's something completely different. This is. . ."

"Playing foul? Dealing a low blow? Trickery?" Mari offered with a smirk and a raised brow.

Kili couldn't help but smile slightly. It faded as quickly as it had flared up. "Yes. It's also putting pressure on you, to compromise yourself for something that still may not happen. Where we live this would be a lot worse than a dance too many."

Mari was quiet for a few moments, looking thoughtful. "To me it doesn't matter." When Kili blanched she caught his face with her hands. "Hear me out. The pressure, if there is any, is that I now know you can never withdraw from this – us – regardless of what we do or don't do. Death is breathing down our necks and I'm not interested in patiently waiting for something that might never happen because of rigid taboos. Our time is so limited-" Her voice broke and she glanced away for a moment.

"I don't want to look back one day and regret not making the most of the time we had. Middle Earth propriety ideas be damned," she continued and turned her gaze back to him. With a lopsided smile she added, "So the only question that remains is if _you_ are interested in taking this route. I am aware that I'm exerting some slightly inappropriate coercion here by having this conversation with you while in my birthday suit, but I didn't think you'd mind a whole lot."

With a throaty laugh he kissed her. "To be honest? No. Can't say I do."

"Then I think it's time to heat things up," she smirked. He grinned as he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. Smoothly she went along with the movement, pushing her knees into the mattress while exerting a slight pressure with her hips, which had him momentarily skipping a breath. She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him.

"I realise you've not seen me even so much as half dressed despite this camping holiday we've been on – it being winter and all that. Viola's nightgown does _not_ count. There's more fabric in that than some of the dresses I've worn," she said.

"Sadly no, but that goes for you as well, love." A small smirk quirked the corners of his mouth upwards.

"I know." She sat up and the quilt slid down and pooled around her. "Which is why I think it's a brilliant idea to start there."

"I can't argue with your logic," he managed after a moment's pause.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some truths are delivered and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and wham! Change of perspective. You may want to re-read the previous chapter before reading this.

Kili's easy smile was gone as he stared at her, and all Mari could feel was tension. It wasn't the good kind either. Not very puzzling in itself, she thought, but somehow she didn't get the impression that it was the type of tension she had experienced herself once. It struck her as a bit odd, because she had expected some awkwardness and a sense of being at a loss from him, but this was different. She had missed something.

Glancing around she located his hands, fisted and on the mattress. She reached out and picked up his left hand and convinced him to relax his hand and open it, then placed it on her thigh. Picking up his right hand, she repeated what she had just done with his left.

"It's just me, Kili," she said quietly and leaned forward again, nuzzling his nose. She noticed him swallowing hard and she moved so she could look at him and saw concern written all over his face.

"This, perhaps, seems silly now but. . . I realised, or remembered rather. . . " He paused and glanced away. "You're quite. . . frail."

She wanted to kick herself for not considering that it could be a problem being as straightforward as she had decided to be. Tilting her head, she considered for a moment how to answer.

"You're not going to hurt me, I promise you." He arched his eyebrows at her and she couldn't help smiling. She leaned in and started kissing him. "You have to remember," she begun explaining between kisses, "I'm a woman. I mean, in case you have forgotten." Kili chuckled and she noticed that some of the tension drained away. A brief smile rounded her cheeks and sent a sparkle in her eye.

"The thing with women is-" she kissed him again, "that we're built to give birth. You know, seven – eight pounds of babe that's supposed to be squeezed out, lots of pain and great potential for all sorts of problematic things to happen. But for the most part we somehow manage to live through it, most relatively unscathed. So no, you're not going to hurt me." She could sense his reaction and pulled back slightly to gauge the effect her words had had on him, relieved at seeing his astonishment and lack of revulsion. This kind of straightforwardness clearly worked.

"Don't tell me you didn't know," she smirked at him.

He snorted. "No, I'm aware of it. I was thinking more along the lines of how someone so slender and willowy can manage it."

"Then consider that I'm at a standard height here – at least among those supposed to be around this size. Back home, I was very short. I was just a fraction taller than you, and our males were exactly like Men are here. Imagine that height difference and every other size difference you can think of." She let her words sink in. "It's rather nice that you're not huge and towering."

He shook his head and smiled and she could tell the last of the tension was gone. She let herself sink down, and she continued to kiss him. This time he responded better. It was still a bit strange and awkward, as if he wasn't quite sure of what to do with his hands. She nudged him to roll to his side instead and smiled at the questioning look on his face, catching his hand.

Slowly and softly she placed kisses on his fingers and on his palm. Glancing up and seeing the blend of affection and want in his eyes had heat pooling in her belly with unexpected speed, quickly spreading through her limbs. That she was the one supposed to do the thinking was lost in the ferocity of the desire shooting through her.

She let go of his hand, caught the back of his head, pulled him in and kissed him intensely while she wrapped her free leg around him, inching closer to him, revelling in the touch of his warm skin. Being this near was intoxicating and she drank it all in; the feel of hair, skin and mouth, the smell of him mixed with a faint scent of soap and lavender, and the taste of resin in his mouth and the slight salt on his skin.

His awkwardness seemed to have been lost and his free hand followed the contour of her body down towards her belly. Swiftly he slipped his hand between them and adjusted his erection slightly for comfort. As she tightened her hold on him with her leg and moved her hips, his hand went to her waist and then slipped down her spine, spreading his fingers wide applying a slight pressure. A tingling warmth spread from her centre, and she gasped and arched, breaking the kiss for a moment.

Opening her eyes she met his, with pupils blown wide. The sight made her flash a grin and move her hips again, watching his eyes lose a bit of focus. She wasn't unaffected herself and she noted that the heat and tension came on unusually strong. Well, it had been a while. Biting down on her lower lip she she kept moving, slowly but deliberately. Unexpectedly he shifted her slightly and increased the pressure. She sucked in air hard through her nose and closed her eyes as the intensified pleasure of the movement caught her off guard.

Her fingers curled in his hair and she pulled him back into a kiss, plunging her tongue into his mouth. She nearly grinned at his eager response, but instead she was again quickly captured by the feel of skin, mouth and movement, eliciting sensations she hadn't shared with another person in a long time.

Suddenly he went rigid and sucked in air, holding his breath. She instantly caught on and let him have some space, and he released the air in his lungs.

"I'm. . . ah-" With a snort he squirmed and she promptly eased her hold on him further.

"Cramps? Or something else unpleasant?" She looked at him in askance. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose momentarily.

"Not unpleasant, no," he managed after a couple of seconds and opened his eyes. Her own arousal was clearly reflected in his gaze and somewhat ragged breath. As she waited for some explanation, she let her fingers carefully weave themselves in his hair, slowly following the shape of the base of his skull, unable to keep from at least touching him. With an inarticulate sound he propelled himself forward and caught her lips as he pulled her flush to him.

His reaction surprised her at first, but then she remembered his attention to her own hair and an idea formed in her mind. Experimentally she continued to card her fingers through his thick mane, making sure her fingertips was tracing his scalp as she tightened her hold on him with her leg, wiggling her hips. The response was immediate and intense, if a bit clumsy, as he locked her firmly in place with the arm tucked under her head, and gripped the back of her thigh with the other hand, firmly tugging her even closer.

Moments later he almost tore away completely, putting a gap between them. With closed eyes he tried to calm his breath. She brought her own breathing under control and kissed his forehead, feeling a bit giddy that she had managed to spur such a reaction in him.

"Close?" she asked, smiling slightly at the interesting discovery she just had made. This was something Gisla hadn't mentioned; that this focus on hair wasn't just because they had plenty of it that bore excellent possibilities for accessorizing.

Pressing his face into the pillow he groaned, "Embarrassingly close." He peeked up at her, looking sheepish.

"In that case, I think it would be a good idea to do something about the urgency." He stared at her with a blank face. "Well, if a bit of kissing all it takes-" she added breezily.

He burst out in a short laughter. "Mari, love, you did a bit more than just kiss me."

"I could do a lot more," she smirked. "That was just warming up a bit." As she pushed herself upwards, beginning to rearrange herself, she leaned back in and planted light kisses down his neck.

"Please, you can't. . . " he rasped.

"I can and I will. I have a plan," she replied and continued to paint a path with her mouth over his skin.

There had been times when she had been wondering if Dwarves reacted in similar ways as Humans did and if they possibly had parts that were more sensitive – or less sensitive. She paid close attention to his reactions as she did her best to tease her way down his torso with her mouth and hands, in case she came across something else interesting.

He may have been a bit fumbling, but she realised it couldn't have been out of any shyness. Rather, it simply must have been because he was in an unfamiliar situation with an initial fear that he'd harm her. There was no guilt, no sense of shyness coming out of doing something that fundamentally was inappropriate or wrong, that much was clear. It made her feel a lot better about the decision to use this kind of blackmailing.

Because she'd spent so much time more or less half-dressed and undressed with Gisla lately, she was hardly surprised by the actual discernible differences there were between the men she'd had in her life and him, but it was fascinating nevertheless to map them out.

Fairly soon he growled at her to stop, grasping after her, but effortlessly she slipped out of his fumbling grip as he attempted to pull her up to his side. He raised his head and paused. The look on his face turned to bewilderment as she hovered with her mouth over his erection, meeting his gaze with a mischievous smile.

"What are you doing?" he croaked and propped himself up on an elbow.

"Taking care of the urgency," she replied lightly and turned her attention downwards.

"Better?" she asked as she crawled back up and sunk down on the mattress next to him.

He huffed and then laughed weakly. "I didn't expect that," he replied and turned his head to look at her.

"It seemed like a good idea to take the edge off." She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"And now?" he asked with a quickly fading smile.

"We continue this little exploration?" She hadn't meant for it to sound like a question, but it occurred to her that maybe Dwarves weren't like Humans at all and needed more time than her previous partners to recover.

With an infectious grin he reached out and coaxed her closer, facing her as he did. "I was hoping we could," he murmured.

She had to admit she had forgotten how important experience actually was for it to simply be enjoyable without having to think; either from knowing the other person's quirks and preferences very well, or knowing many well enough to understand what to look for or be attuned to. Kili had neither, and he was also unexpectedly serious.

Mari suspected the sincerity had a lot to do with him being quite observant and very focussed now when the initial passion was sated and he therefore could think – and think a bit too much. It was slightly unnerving, the way he watched her, and she racked her brain to find a way to convey it to him without coming across as berating.

With a sigh he broke the kiss and just held her close. "There's something wrong. I'm doing something wrong," he murmured.

"Technically speaking, you're not," she replied in an attempt at being diplomatic, but she had to admit it didn't quite come out the way she meant. "Look," she continued before he could say anything. She put a bit of distance between them so she could look at him and smiled. "Of course it matters what you and I do and in what way, but a lot is about what goes on in here." She tapped on his forehead with her index finger. "Why do you want to do this with me? It's supposed to be enjoyable, right? And joyful."

Slowly she followed his hairline and then pushed her fingers into his hair. "It's so much about senses and feelings." She grinned. "And a smile or laughter is never out of place."

His brow was still a bit furrowed and he caught her hand. "But that isn't the same thing for you."

She tilted her head and glanced at his scalp. This was not the time for lengthy explanations about erogenous zones and how they weren't that different, but she had to say something.

"In this particular instance I think it could become that way. But that's just quirks and different preferences." Twisting her hand she slipped out of his grip. An idea formed in her mind, one which hopefully would lighten things up and set them on the right track. "Tickle me."

His eyebrows shot up. "You want me to do what?"

"What I said. Tickle me." An impish grin pulled the corners of her mouth upwards and made her eyes twinkle. "Find all the places where I'm ticklish."

Hesitantly his fingers begun wandering, soon bolstered by her giggles and squirms as he found one place after the other. Grinning, he eventually switched to simply letting his fingers lightly move over her skin, and then he kissed her. She smirked as she noticed that he had caught on, that he understood the point in finding her ticklish spots.

Taken a bit off guard she realised he certainly had paid attention before. With the previous strain broken he was quick to try it out on her, though the pace was purposely kept languid. Playfully he briefly at one point turned it back to tickling, keeping the light mood, which brought on a laughing retaliation from her. There was none of the wired selfishness she had come across in some other men, which made the initial mistakes and mishaps easy to correct without any tension. It was quite enjoyable, she had to admit.

With a firm grip he pulled her along as he moved to lie on his back. "I want to see you," he said with a smile. Relieved that he seemed to have let go of his previous worries and mildly surprised by his lack of desire for control, she threw a quick grin back at him and pushed herself up. Locking eyes with him, she slowly sank down, letting him fill her, as she watched his reaction.

For a moment she was absolutely still and just took in the marvel with which he looked at her. No one had ever looked at her that way before, not even her former boyfriend with whom she had shared a flat for a while, and a small wondrous smile curved her lips.

Her knees suddenly made themselves known in a slightly unpleasant manner, and as she moved a little to ease the discomfort another much more pleasant sensation replaced it. She moved some more and felt the familiar tingle and buzz, still faint, but there. Casually she leaned down and gave him a slow kiss. He reached up and buried his hands in her hair before he traced the skin with his fingers down her neck, over the collarbones, and continued to tease the contour of her breasts.

Breaking the kiss, she opened her eyes and raised herself up leisurely, inhaling sharply as his fingers continued to wander over her skin. He grinned at her reaction and she smirked back. Unhurriedly she begun moving, watching every minute change in his face, shifting subtly to evoke as much pleasure as she could with every move. His hands somewhat hesitatingly came to rest on her hips as his eyelids slid shut, pressing the back of his head into the mattress. As she increased the momentum his grip tightened and he bucked, increasing the tension that had slowly been building, startling her into a loud gasp.

She closed her eyes and let go of the last restraint on her movements, instinctively gripping the sheet tightly to steady herself. Seconds later she was deaf and blind to anything but the pulsing rush of colour and fire flooding all her senses.

For quite some time she rested her cheek on the pillow with closed eyes, being unexpectedly comfortable despite the somewhat undexterous position she was in. She was quite content and happy. She listened to his now-calm breathing, sensed the steady heartbeats under her hand and wrist resting on his chest, breathed in the scents, and basked in the quite intense emotions she felt.

Slowly she started to drift off to sleep. It made her wince slightly as he finally stirred and put his hand on her shoulder, and she suddenly realised that the room was a bit too chilly for her to be nude, despite the fire.

"I don't think I can reach the quilt," he said quietly, noticing her slight shiver. "Not as long as you're where you are," he added with a smile in his voice.

"Confounded," she mumbled. "M'comfortable."

"I can tell. You're about to fall asleep." He moved and she realised he was trying to reach the quilt. Sleepily she raised her head she pushed herself up enough to scan the bed and quickly concluded that it wasn't going to happen.

"Not to be negative, but I doubt you'll succeed," she said and looked down at him.

"No, it's firmly out of reach." He frowned at it and turned his head back to look at her. "You're cold," he stated as she shivered again.

"I've been in warmer places," she replied with a lopsided smile.

She reached out and got hold of the hand towel she had brought and slowly raised herself from her position atop him and sank down on the mattress, using the towel to clean them both up. Quickly he snatched up the quilt and pulled it over them both and wrapped her in his arms. She closed her eyes again.

"You brought the towel?" he asked.

"Hmmm," she replied and snuggled closer. "We're lucky too. No wet spot. Always nice." She was quiet for a moment. "How does it feel?" she asked.

"Good." She couldn't see it, but she knew he was smiling. "I don't think I can be more eloquent at the moment," he added.

"It's fine. I don't exactly have any epic words fitting the moment either. I think 'I love you' will have to suffice. I do. Love you, I mean."

"I love you as well." He kissed her hair.

"I feel weightless," she mumbled.

"Whatever it is, I don't think I can stay awake for very long." He yawned.

"That makes two." There was a slight slur to her voice as she mumbled.

"Sleep well," he whispered.

"You too."

The room went quiet and soon the tell-tale sounds of sleep were the only things heard in the room.

* * *

Mari really didn't feel like moving. At all. Throughout their journey through the Shire they hadn't taken one day off and she would have felt it regardless of the past week. Slowly she moved a fraction and instantly regretted it. She didn't want to admit it but she was a bit sore. A day of skiing was not something she was looking forward to right now.

The morning had progressed quite far and the world had woken up, making its usual racket. She continued to ignore it, breathing slowly with her eyes closed. Kili stirred somewhat and then began slowly to tense up. Quelling a sigh she burrowed her face in his hair, which only made him grow more taut.

"You're tensing up," she murmured.

The only response was a ragged breath which she found odd, and she slowly pushed herself up to look at him. An uncomfortable chill spread in her belly as she saw his face. His eyes were black with a dull fire glowing at the bottom, his skin had taken on a slight greyish tint and his jaw was set so hard she imagined she could hear the grinding teeth.

"Kili, what's wrong?" she asked, and his eyes fell shut as he forcefully got hold of himself.

"I was simply thinking," he murmured.

Her eyebrows arched slightly. "Seems unpleasant," she commented hesitantly. He was quietly breathing and she could tell that the tension was slowly leaving him.

"Some things are not so easy to face," he said and opened his eyes. "I understand there must be someone else. It's quite obvious in hindsight." He swallowed.

Mari stared incredulously at him. "Someone else? What are you talking about? You know everything that has been going on in my life since I came here. I think you would have noticed if I was double crossing you."

"But someone clearly has a claim on you. . ." With a deep scowl he turned to stare at the window.

For a while she studied him as her mind raced and the ice in her belly spread. Though it was a bit oddly put, she wasn't dumb. This was about her past, before she came to Middle Earth. She had not exactly been saving herself for a True Love and he had unsurprisingly understood that she wasn't new to sex. Since she had been open about not having ever married back home, well. . .

What she was going to say about it, she had no idea. A slight sense of panic tingled in the back of her mind. She could taste what rejection would be like and her throat begun to feel constricted. When he turned his head and glanced at her, all she could do was stare at him looking like a goldfish on dry land.

"Who is he?" His voice was detached but gravelly.

She winced. "Listen, I haven't really talked about this part of my past before because I know how people would look at me. . . I didn't expect anyone to understand."

He quietly gazed at her for a while. "No. You're right. I don't understand." Anguish broke through. "I thought you were mine! You asked me."

With wide eyes she stared at him. "This property thing. . ." she begun, but stopped as he almost furiously shook his head.

"I will never have anyone else. You know this!" he exclaimed.

Slowly she nodded. "Yeah, I know." For a moment she considered him. "And you know that I'm not like you." His eyes darted away from her. Pursing her lips she kept eyeing him.

"There _is_ no one else. But there _was_. Note the present and past tenses in those sentences," she said. This was it. She had to be honest about this and let him face who and what she was. With a slight hesitation she continued. "Eight," she said.

Kili looked back at her in confusion.

"I have slept with eight people before you. Two were long-term commitments. One of those I lived with for a while. I was fifteen the first time and it was. . . okay. At least he listened, even if he was a bit clumsy. I probably wasn't much better. After I made the big move abroad there was no one, and the most recent long-term relationship I had ended about. . . just over three years ago." A quick sad smile crossed her features.

"He went backpacking and cheated on me. At least he had the decency to tell me about it when it happened, even if it's certainly not fun having such a conversation over Skype."

As she threw an anxious glance at him she saw his intense stare and her eyes quickly flickered away.

"I haven't told anyone here about this, because I know how I'd be looked at." She drew a deep breath. "You don't have casual relationships so I don't expect you to understand, and those who are capable of having them, like the Hobbits, have such strict social control, in particular of women. Several relationships – and unmarried on top of that. . ." She was silent for a few moments.

"So now you know," she continued quietly.

"How could anyone. . . he did this with someone else while he had pledged himself to you?" He looked disbelieving.

Amusement pulled the corners of her mouth upward. It was reassuring that what he had latched onto was her former boyfriend's unfaithful behaviour, giving her hope that all was not lost. "Yes, he did. He'd been away for about two months, and was a bit intoxicated at this full-moon party and one thing led to the other – and apparently it had been so amazing that he couldn't even imagine repairing anything with me."

"You're amused?" he asked incredulously.

"Not about that. I cried – oh how I cried. That _really_ hurt. It was the way you put it, because we wouldn't say we pledge ourselves."

"But you lived together."

"True. And it was serious. Or I thought it was serious anyway. I think he did too, for a time at least."

They were silent for a while.

"I suppose it sounds. . . I don't know what it seems like to you," she murmured. "But judging from how you reacted just now, I suspect you don't quite believe me when I say that what was isn't what's now."

He drew a ragged breath and she glanced at him. "Does this change anything?" she asked.

"No," he said without looking at her.

Frowning she studied him. "I don't quite believe that."

"I will have no other," he said.

"Yeah, you keep saying that but-"

"Mari love, I can't. I don't understand how it's possible for you to be here with me considering what you just told me. But you must understand that I. Can. Have. No. Other." His voice was clipped and that note of anguish was back.

After another bout of silence she sighed and spoke up. "I can be here because I love you and choose to be with you even though I have a past. It's. . . different from how you work, I know. Well, I can't really wrap my head around the One thing to be honest. But I'm not going anywhere and there won't be anyone popping up with any 'claims'," she made quotation marks in the air with her fingers, "simply because there is no other. There wasn't for some time before I came here. Moving abroad, working yourself to a nosebleed and not even occasionally making it to the pub isn't exactly the recipe for meeting the love of your life."

His eyes were back on her. "You truly are alien in so many ways," he sighed.

A quick smile flashed over her features and then died. Though she often reminded herself that she was an alien here, hearing it from someone else felt strange. She cleared her throat. "So. I suppose I'm quite tainted though. Unmarried and everything."

"Tainted?" he echoed.

"Yes. Damaged goods. Tawdry."

"That's not. . . it." He seemed at loss for words. "It doesn't matter if it's two or twenty, if you were married or not – it's the fact that you can chose more than one in your lifetime which is difficult to grasp. Whether you were married or not doesn't matter."

"It would to the Hobbits."

For the first time a brief smile lit up his face. "I'm a Dwarf," he said. "In case you haven't noticed, " he added.

Mari's eyes widened and she snorted at the reference to her words the evening before. "Um, yeah, I have noticed actually."

"I'll not lie. We're possessive. The threat of somehow losing you will always awaken that." Another brief smile crossed his features. "Fili was less than thrilled with the idea of Gisla heading out with us, and had the situation been reversed, Gisla would have been no better. It's new for us all and sometimes quite hard to master. With time it will settle."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, opened them and continued. "I haven't had the luxury of even allowing a hint of it show before."

She nodded. "So the property thing, that's about. . .?" His face darkened and she scowled. "Well, you were the one talking about me being yours, as if I were a pet or a thing," she said, unable to keep her displeasure out of her voice entirely.

Raising his right hand to his face, he rubbed his eyes and scrunched his face. "It's just the way we say it. In our situation it's rather you owning me, than the other way around, is it not?" He let his hand thud down on the mattress.

"Every instinct I have, and the way I was raised, told me that you having had a commitment such as this before, would mean a lifetime for me without the one who makes me whole. I hadn't considered this to be a possibility before this morning, and I. . . panicked."

"The one that makes you whole," she muttered. "But hey! No pressure!"

Kili looked positively sick at her words and a stab of bad conscience made her wince. "I'm sorry. It's a lot for me to take in. I'm trying. I really am, but it's so foreign to me."

"It is for me as well," he sighed. A couple of minutes passed, with them both deep in thought. Mari let her head sink down on the pillow next to him again.

"I asked you. I do what I do for the possibility of a future for us, even though the price can be a pretty steep one to pay for it. You can't ask more than that because it's all I can give you," she murmured and sighed.

After a long thoughtful look at her he began to extract himself to climb out of the bed. She rolled onto her back, letting him go. Quickly he crossed the floor to the hearth, rekindling the fire and within a minute the flames was beginning to devour the wood.

She watched him as he moved around, and the obvious lack of self-consciousness, one she recognised in Gisla too, made her smile. The smile quickly faltered though and a dull hollow feeling settled in her chest. She felt like she had lied to him, and she truly regretted not having told him more about her past before this.

With the fire cheerily burning on the hearth, he stood and went to his partly folded clothes on a chair and started digging around, looking for something. Fishing out a leather pouch she recognised as always being in his belt, he turned back to the bed and climbed back into it.

She watched him dig around and pick up a small wrap from it, untying it and carefully depositing something in his palm. Wordlessly he held out his hand. She sat up and looked down at his palm where beads rested, elaborate filigree ones with amber set in them. She stared at them and felt her stomach clench and her head spin at the implication. If she accepted this – no, she corrected herself, _when_ she accepted this – it would put to rest a lot of the fears they both had stirred.

"I didn't think you'd have any and definitely not with you," she breathed, reached out and picked one up. It was so delicate and different from what she had seen before of Dwarven jewellery.

"Once my family was taught a valuable lesson; that life and fortunes can change in a blink of an eye. These were gifts from Gisla's family to my uncle Frerin. They were never used since he died, but once I was old enough, they became mine, and I have always kept them safe. Not only because of their potential use, but also because it's a reminder to care for what you have since you never know when you might lose it." He swallowed hard and raised his eyes to look at her.

Mari nodded and put the bead back in his hand. "They are amazing." She looked up and met his sincere gaze. "Will you show me how it's done?" she asked.

* * *

It was late in the day when Kili, Gisla and Mari finally stuck the skis in the snow outside the forge. Word had travelled fast as they approached and the inhabitants were pouring outside, greeting them cheerily. Gisla threw herself in Fili's arms with such force they almost ended up in a pile of snow, and everyone laughed heartily. There was a great deal of relief in laughter and smiles.

As they were ushered inside, Kili caught Mari's hand and pulled her to his side, holding her back. Gisla noticed the move and dragged Fili along, stepping in their way, pretending it was to allow the brothers to exchange a few words. Mari turned her back towards the crowd slowly filing further inside and caught Fili's eyes. As he reached out to pull her into an embrace, she pushed down her hood. He paused for a moment and then continued to tug her into the embrace.

"Welcome home little sister," he said and let her go, turning back to Kili. "The short version, if you please?" he asked. Kili fidgeted and looked down at the floor.

Mari sighed. This didn't bode well for the conversation they were about to have within minutes. "We had sex. There. That's the short version," she said. Fili turned to look at her again. "There's a long version in there too, you know," she added.

"I'm looking forward to hearing it," he replied and sighed as he glanced back at his brother. "Shoulders back, face forward. It's both Mother and Uncle in there. You can't do it in a half-arsed manner."

Mari gripped Kili's hand. "Remember – we have a knack for these things. Just. . . chin up and no regrets."

Kili met her eyes and nodded, with a slight smile tugging his lips. Then he turned his eyes towards the parlour and squared his shoulders.

* * *

Fili and Gisla shared the same armchair, Ori had the other one in the room and on the floor in front of the fire sat Kili, arms and legs circling around Mari. There was a certain amount of defiance in the way he held on to Mari. His face was grave, and when Kili was grave, it certainly showed.

They had all retreated to Kili's chamber, once they could escape. Nothing had really been said between them, but Fili couldn't do much else besides sympathise with his brother. So did Ori.

Gisla, Mari and Kili had grouped together spontaneously as they had entered the parlour, but whatever had happened while they were travelling, it was never touched upon once everyone saw the braids in Mari's hair.

Fili sighed. He wanted to hear the long version of that, and what else that had happened while they were gone.

"I saw blood on some of your things," he said, breaking the silence. "Didn't look like Orc blood to me."

Gisla turned to stare at the fire, and Kili closed his eyes and ducked his head. The only one who didn't move was Mari. She remained exactly as she was, like a statue, staring into the fire too.

"Samford doesn't exist anymore," Mari said and her voice was thick and rough.

Fili stared at her, as did Ori.

"What?" Fili finally breathed.

"What I said. Samford was razed to the ground and its inhabitants are dead." Mari's voice came out a little stronger, if more anguished.

"We were ambushed one night by Orc scouts as we camped in the woods," Kili opened his eyes as he spoke, and then paused. "When we arrived in Samford in the morning, it was clear where the main pack had been."

"The Rangers hunted them down. The pack didn't reach that far fortunately. We heard about it later when we were back in Samford and the Rangers returned," Gisla added. She turned towards Fili. "Hadn't you heard?" she asked.

Fili shook his head. "No. . . "

"I thought it would spread like wild fire," Mari said and turned to look at Fili too. The room was deadly silent.

Fili's face hardened as he turned to look at his brother. "Kili. . . " he ground out. Kili turned to meet his eyes. They stared at each other for long moments. "I overheard your little exchange earlier."

As they had fled the parlour, Kili had held Mari back before they entered the chamber they now were in. Nothing that blatant ever escaped Fili's notice, and he had stopped, eavesdropping on the hushed conversation.

Fili's eyes flickered to Mari for a moment. "You can't go out again. Not just the two of you, not when we've had Orc attacks like this. You can take down some scouts, but what if you were to run into a pack like the one that attacked Samford?"

"It's a bit difficult to work with someone you're currently not on speaking terms with," Mari muttered between clenched teeth. "The plan is to find the Rangers and work with them, not doing some thrilling heroics on our own."

Fili motioned at Mari. "This can't divide us. The enemy will-"

"This? _This?_ Have I been reduced to a thing now too?" Mari spat. The flickering fire reflecting in her eyes emphasised the anger radiating from her.

"Calm yourself," Fili snapped back. "I'm talking about the conflict, not about you." He aimed his glare at Kili. "It cannot divide us," he repeated.

"So what do you suggest we do?" Kili replied somewhat defensively.

"I'm not allowing you to leave on your own," Fili said decisively. Mari snorted, but didn't say anything.

"It's not for you to decide," Kili retorted calmly.

"Depends on what I decide. If you're determined to leave I can't keep you here," Fili sighed, "but I'm not letting you go off on your own. Not after this."

"What are you saying, Fili?" Gisla asked as she scrutinised him with narrow eyes.

"I'm following Kili and Mari if they leave," he said.

Gisla nodded. "Then I'm coming along too." Fili pulled a deep breath. "No, Fili. I went with Mari and Kili and lived through the same things they did. I will not stay here when you follow them, for Mahal knows how long. Not when death is a real risk," she continued.

Their eyes were locked for a moment until Fili slowly released his breath, and then nodded.

Kili turned to look at Ori. "Are you coming with us?" he asked.

Ori stared at the hands in his lap. "I'm no warrior," he said quietly. "It's one thing patrolling around here, but seeking it out. . . " He looked up. "And Dori. . . " He swallowed and looked down again.

Kili nodded. "It's your decision. If you change your mind you'd be welcome to come along," he said.

Gisla resolutely slipped her feet down on the floor and stood, pulling Fili up on his feet too. "We can't sit around here all evening when we've got much to do," she said, and Kili and Mari slowly rose from the floor.

Fili's eyes sought Mari's. "May we speak?" he asked. He shifted his eyes to Ori and then to Kili. "Alone." Ori was out of his chair immediately and after some consideration, Kili finally nodded and joined the others as they left the room. Mari half-turned away from him and stared at a point on the floor.

"We can't set out with a conflict brewing."

Mari shot him a glance and met his steady and calm gaze. "I wouldn't say there is one. I was a bit on the edge after what went down earlier. Sorry about that," she replied and returned to staring at the floor.

He nodded. "It was a poor choice of words, so I can see how you interpreted it the way you did. I didn't mean to upset you."

She looked up at him again and tilted her head. "Fili, if you were king, how would you look at this?" she asked. "I mean, about Kili and me."

"First of all, I don't know the entire story. I hope you will trust me enough to tell me some time though." He sighed. "I have known about Kili's weakness for you for some time. I was beginning to become concerned after the dance at the Assembly Rooms, though it has been clear there has been no understanding between you until now. When did that change?"

"The day the Thain died and the Orc pack attacked here," she replied, her eyes still trained on him. "I. . . had suspected something for a while." A quick smile flashed over her face. "Once I found out about a few things I didn't know about you before, courtesy of your wife, I decided to bring up the options we had with Kili, and. . . it turned out we were on the same page."

Fili studied her for a while and she could tell he was trying to put words to his thoughts. "It's easy for me to pass judgement on my uncle. I don't have his responsibility nor do I have his past." He sighed. "I could never have said no to Kili. I know Thorin has a specific weak spot for him, but he has many things to consider, not least the general opinion among all Dwarves, not just among people in our clan. At the moment it looks. . . bleak."

Mari nodded. "It seems like it." She sighed.

"What about you?" Fili asked.

"What about me?" She furrowed her brow at the question.

"You have revealed very little about your own thoughts, other than a few rather well-aimed barbs at Uncle, and what you have told me here. You haven't mentioned anything about your. . . expectations." The fire cracked, sending embers landing on the limestone in front of the hearth. They soared and died, and as Mari watched the black flakes, unbidden images from Samford flashed before her eyes. Closing them she took a calming breath, pushing that aside.

"I have never believed in keeping people apart. Add the fact that I know what it's like to lose everyone I care about and the regret that comes with such an experience, and I think you can understand why I have done what I have done." She turned to face Fili.

"You see, posh and grand declarations for the world aren't my thing. I don't need that. Whatever happens, we know where we stand, and that's what's important to me. I have these," she touched the beads in her hair, "because it's important to him. He really only wants an ordinary life, but it comes with conditions here. We can't just say sod this and move in together. We could back in my world, but not here." She gave Fili a sad smile.

"You know he's a prince of Erebor," Fili said.

"Oh yeah, I know. Grandeur and status were hardly part of the decision-making though." Mari turned her head and let her eyes land on the spot where she and Kili had been sitting. "In fact, the risk is great that the only thing I can look forward to is knowing there will be a tomb that I probably won't be able to visit. I will perhaps not even be allowed to. And there's just a few years left." Her eyes closed.

Fili stared at her. "No. . . " he breathed.

She opened her eyes and looked back at him and gave him that sad smile again. "Yeah. I fell in love with a bloke who is supposed to die long before his time. _But_ my plan is that it's not going to happen," she said, with forced cheer. "It will require a great deal of smarts and tact that I don't know if I have. I have my moments of doubt though – today in particular."

They were silent for a while, Fili too stunned to say much and Mari not in the mood to speak more about it.

"I think we should join the others," Mari finally said. Fili nodded in agreement and watched her walk past him towards the door. Once he was alone he sank down in the chair he had been sitting in, burying his face in his hands and did something he hadn't done in many many years – he cried.

* * *

Mari, Kili, Gisla and Fili were up well before dawn, doing the final packing. Ori sat hunched at the kitchen table watching them move around as quietly as they could. As Mari walked into the kitchen and saw him, she stopped and considered him briefly, before she stepped over to the table.

"Why don't you join in?" Mari asked and tried to catch his eyes.

Ori looked down at the table. "Brother would worry himself into a heart attack."

Mari leaned forward and put her hand on Ori's shoulder. "Okay, I'm not going to ask you to face this danger because of some idea of honour and bravery. I'm doing this because I care about people here, some more than others, but no one deserves to be slaughtered like the people in Samford. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, but if you do, you shouldn't let Dori stand in your way."

Ori looked up at her.

"I know you can ski as decently as Fili and you're not bad at handling a sword or an axe if you have to."

Kili walked past and gave Ori's shoulder a squeeze before moving on.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you. The job description could scare off the best. It's cold and we don't have an abundance to eat, though Kili and I will do some hunting. Orc and Warg attacks are almost a guarantee." She glanced towards the rest of the house.

"I still think it would be worth it. And we'd miss you if you didn't come along."

Ori almost shot up from the table. "I'm coming," he said and disappeared.

Fili smiled at Mari as he stopped by Ori's abandoned chair. "I'm glad you managed to convince him to come along," he said.

"The more the merrier," she replied and held out her hand, and Fili handed her a sack, and they left the room.

Half an hour before the first rays of the sun hit the hills, in the blue morning light with stars still twinkling in the west, they silently strapped on their skis. They began to line up, with Kili at the front, the rest following after, and Mari last, waiting for Fili and Ori to find their bearings. The door to the house opened and when Mari turned she spotted Thorin. Her heart sank.

They stood staring at each other for a few moments, until he came to life and crossed the distance between them.

"You were simply going to leave your duties?" he grumbled, and she almost snorted.

"Well, sir, there are Orcs out there. I've seen up close and personal what happens when they attack and we're not there. Joining the Rangers in their work seems like a much more productive way of stopping this menace than sitting around here, taking turns in the neighbourhood. Kili, Gisla and I were never on the schedule and I'm sure you can manage without Fili and Ori."

He studied her for a moment, then stepped closer, leaving only inches between them, looming uncomfortably over her. She refused to flinch or back away, firmly holding her ground. "How will I die?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.

Mari hesitated briefly, eyeing him carefully, before she decided to be completely honest. She threw a glance at the others, now slowly pulling away from them. "On a battlefield, two years from now," she said and turned back to look at him.

"But first you're going to lose your mind. Do you already feel it? I think you do, because your obsession with Erebor goes beyond what most would consider normal. It will make you take thirteen men with you, twelve Dwarves and someone you'll dub a burglar, and march on that mountain without a proper plan, and in the end not only you will die, but Fili and Kili too." She watched how he staggered back half a step and turned to look at his nephews.

"Unless, of course, I can persuade you to do it a bit differently. Don't mind Gandalf and his shenanigans. He has his own reasons for meddling. Important yes, but paired with bad decisions. . . "

Thorin turned his attention back to her. "Why Kili?"

She smiled warmly. "I'll write you a letter listing all the reasons because we don't have time now."

"But if he dies-"

"Then I'll most likely die too. But I hope it won't come to that. There's a reason why I'm here, and I don't think it's to watch you march off and die on a mountain side."

She side-stepped with her skis. "We'll be back in two weeks' time," she said. She pushed away with the ski poles, gingerly skating to catch up with the others, grouped together at the other side of the yard, waiting for her. Before she had quite caught up with them, Kili set his skis in motion and they began slowly to file out of the yard, heading north.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two-front conflict continues, though a cease-fire is reached on the home-front.

The group of four Dwarves and one Human stood on the hill-crest staring down at the fishing camp on the south shore of Evendim. Mari wanted to turn her back and leave, just reporting what they had found to the inhabitants of Long Cleeve, the nearest village, but she knew they couldn't. She swallowed hard and pushed herself over the edge and began the descent. Vaguely she was aware of the others following her, but her focus was drawn towards the destruction in front of her.

Once more they were too late. Images of what she had seen in Samford only weeks before marched before her eyes as she made it down the hill. Steeling herself, she slowly walked into the camp. The others spread out, and together they went over the area in a fruitless search for any survivors.

She should be prepared for what she saw, she kept telling herself, but she wasn't. It wasn't easier. In fact, it was even harder this time. She imagined she felt the dead eyes follow her as she wove her way through the camp. The lone rawk of a raven perched on a ravaged hut perfected the baleful mood radiating from the place.

From time to time when she halted for a few moments, it was like the horrors this place had seen seeped into her consciousness, and flashes of what had happened hit her, like snapshots from a grainy documentary. Squeezing her eyes shut, she breathed shallow breaths through her mouth.

"You don't really see this. You can't see this. You're not sensitive to magic," she whispered to herself, and opened her eyes and moved on. There was such a strange chill over the destroyed camp, one she couldn't shake, as if this place had been cursed somehow. She was slowly pulled towards the seashore, without quite understanding why, but as she came to a stop at the jetty used in summer, an arrow with odd-looking fletches caught her attention.

Slowly she crept closer, eyeing the blackened arrow carefully. As with all Orc weapons it was crude, but the fletches looked like splayed bristles, brittle and old. She reached out for the arrow with her mitten clad hand, but as she touched it, she had to snatch her hand back. Her eyes went wide as she realised that the flash of images she had suddenly seen wasn't from this camp.

Quickly she backed away, stumbling slightly on her boots, then she stopped and stared at the arrow. Cold sweat broke out as she processed what this meant. It was a Morgul bolt, though entirely wasted since the Hobbit who had been hit had been beheaded. Maybe they had decided they didn't need Hobbit wraiths, or perhaps they used it as a rule, in case someone should manage to escape. Being hit with such a weapon was a fate worse than death, and she shuddered at the thought.

As she raised her eyes to gaze out over the snow-covered flat ice of Evendim, she fought the urge to desperately turn around and find Kili, and tell him to take his things and run as far as he could. She was no Elf and there was no help to be had here in the Shire for that kind of evil. Images pressed themselves into her mind again, feeding her feelings of despondency and grief, and now she couldn't fight them, though she knew this was not real.

A hand on her shoulder made her startle and unsheathe her knives, swirl around and lash out. Ori ducked out of her way and then quickly gripped her arms tightly, holding her in a firm grip.

"Mari! It's me, Ori!" he squeaked with wide eyes.

The horrible film was gone, and Mari was thankful for the Dwarves' superior strength, as Ori had no problems holding her from his own person.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, without relinquishing his hold on her.

"Not really, no." Her eyes darted over the ruins around them. "There's something here, and I keep seeing. . . and hearing. . . " Ori slowly let her go and she tucked her knives back where they should be.

"Come Mari. The others are nearly finished. There's no need to stay here now," Ori said quietly and carefully steered her towards the edge of the camp.

"Do you feel it? It's like there's something. . . " Mari's went silent.

Ori shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

She slowly nodded. "Be glad you don't," she said tersely.

Ten minutes later everyone gathered again at the edge of the camp where they had entered. Gisla stopped as she saw Mari's marble face. She quickly moved over to wrap her arms around Mari, who was like a coil ready to spring.

"Mari, love, we will catch them," Gisla tried to reassure her.

"And what good does that do these people? They're already dead." Mari's voice was hollow.

Gisla stepped back and put her hands on Mari's shoulders, and looked her steadily in the eyes. "You know they won't stop. They'll continue to kill and burn their way through the Shire. The people who died here wouldn't want that to happen."

They gazed at each other for a long while until Mari nodded. She screwed her eyes shut and a tear slipped down her cheek. Gisla wrapped her arms around her again and held her there, until Mari begun to relax. When Gisla released her grip on Mari she noticed Kili standing next to them with worried eyes.

"I'm fine," Mari murmured between clenched teeth and tensed up again. Logically she knew that the Orcs would have to begin carrying Morgul weapons at some point – perhaps they always had – and that it wasn't a cause for panic as such. Nevertheless, this was serious. Maybe the journey east would be different, but a Morgul weapon could still find him. If it happened here. . . She turned her eyes away, squinting to hide the emotions welling up.

Kili nodded carefully and they slowly lined up to leave, Kili just behind Fili, then Gisla and Ori. Mari deliberately hung back to be the last one. As they reached the hill top, she stopped and turned to look at the charred remains of the camp. This was certainly not her kind of fairy tale, she decided, and followed the others.

Mari couldn't find any respite during their journey to Long Cleeve. The scenes from both Samford and the Evendim camp haunted her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake herself out of it. As she tried to clear her mind, the threat towards Kili's life trickled into her mind instead. He already knew his life was likely to end sooner than he'd like She told herself there was no reason to tell him about the risk he, in particular, faced now, because it didn't change anything. She would issue a general warning to everyone about the particular horrors linked to anything Morgul, and that would have to be enough.

Ori, who was the closest to her as they crossed the landscape, had kept a worried eye on her. She knew she probably was broadcasting the misery she felt, but she couldn't bring herself to speak to him. Travelling on skis made it easier to steer away from having to speak with him or with anyone else. At present she didn't know what to say to them.

* * *

Long Cleeve was just a small number of smials around a crossroad, flanked by what could almost be called mountains. The quaint landscape around Hobbiton and Tuckborough here developed into a wilder terrain, a reminder of the more dramatic landscape north of the Shire. It was still green, but creeping woods and moors capped the ridges and uplands.

When they arrived at the village, Mari couldn't look people in the eye, but instead kept hers trained on the horizon. Not a word passed her lips for hours and she barely acknowledged that she heard the others speaking to her. After the evening meal Kili finally rose, went over to her and picked her up, carrying her off. In response she surprised everyone by wrapping her arms around his neck, hiding her face in his hair.

His tendency to simply pick her up and carry her she found difficult to handle, as part of her felt deeply embarrassed about her apparent weakness. She had to admit though that he usually was correct in his decision, that whatever it was had continued long enough, and that he wouldn't take take no for an answer when she was in such apparent need of support. In that moment she, for the first time, allowed herself to accept the comfort he could offer.

Fili sighed in relief as the group watched them leave. "She had me worried for a moment." He turned his attention to his belt pouch, digging after his pipe.

"My heart goes out to her," Gisla said quietly. "She's so determined to deal with everything on her own. It makes me wonder what kind of existence she had in her previous life. She speaks about family and friends, but she acts as if she was alone already long before she came here."

Fili and Ori eyed each other as they passed a splinter on fire between them, lighting their pipes.

"Her life was, as far as I can tell, a lot different then, and not because our worlds are dissimilar," Fili said as he threw the remains of the splinter into the fire. "From the odd comment and her stories I think I have an idea of what it was like." He glanced at Gisla. "There are many things I find familiar in her tales, yet so different. Harder. Lonelier. Very little true joy. She had few to turn to and complaints were of no use. Men can be so very heartless toward their own."

Gisla's mouth tightened and she turned her eyes from the two men. In part she agreed with Fili, but she had a slightly different view on Dwarven generosity than the man she had married. Fili had never truly seen the darker side of their own kind. This was, however, not the time and place for a dispute about such things; instead she aired what truly ate her in this situation.

"I hope she can forgive me for my involvement in her life. I only ever wanted to help her, and I hope she isn't too disappointed in me." She hung her head. Fili reached out and put his hand on her back, his eyes brimming with sympathy.

"Gisla, you don't need to feel any guilt." Fili's voice nearly cracked as he spoke. "You did nothing wrong when you told her about our ways, giving her the insight into how we think and act. I know my brother, and sooner or later Kili would have acted himself, so it was simply a matter of time. She hasn't told me much about what she knows about the future, but what she has said so far makes it clear that she values the time she has with all of us, and she's not going to be held back by other people's opinions." He caressed her cheek and she looked up and met his eyes.

"We all know she was well aware of the risk she was taking, yet she took it. I know she's not laying any blame on you. There's no blame at all in her mind. She's not even surprised or angry with Uncle or Dwalin. Nor does she hold any resentment towards the Longbeards."

"I counted on Thorin to at least consider it, not refuse point blank. I don't understand."

Fili rubbed his eyes with his fingers. When his hand sank down in his lap he met Gisla's steady gaze. He had a fair idea of the most important reasons why his uncle had reacted the way he had, but he didn't want to expose his king. There was a lot of fear in Thorin's reaction, Fili knew, fears he himself understood. He himself had had many difficult moments until he had faced the decision – and he had chosen his brother. "All I can say in the defence of Uncle is that being in his situation is not easy."

"You don't have to defend his decisions," Gisla said gently. Fili turned his eyes on the fire and puffed silently on his pipe. "You once said you feared this would divide us, and I think it has. Perhaps we are united on the surface now as we meet an outer threat, but as the pressure on Kili and Mari increases, what will happen then? How will we choose? What will happen if we are divided within the family? We could easily find ourselves becoming enemies, and at the heart of this conflict is you. I don't envy you, having the pressure of loyalty to your king as well as to your brother."

He caught her hand. "I have tried to stay out of politics, from taking sides, involving myself in the life in Ered Luin, everything to avoid being sucked into the reality Uncle has to deal with every day. No matter how much I wanted, I could never do what Kili did, simply be. I didn't think I had that luxury. From that point of view, Mari is a disaster. She has stirred my life, shaken it up and is forcing me to do what I have fought so hard to avoid my entire life – choose."

Before Gisla had formulated a reply, Ori spoke up.

"The honourable thing to do is to stand by friends and family who have risked their lives for everyone's sake, and continue to do so. They are both giving so much, and so long as Mari is able, she will keep doing what she can to keep the family safe. She doesn't have to do anything, yet she's doing more than most of our fellow Longbeards."

Fili's face darkened. "I'm well aware of that. I hold no resentment towards her. Quite the opposite, or I wouldn't be here. I call her sister, Ori. I wouldn't if I didn't mean it. My brother is much more important than the bickering among our own, and he'll always have my loyalty first and foremost. If power and vengeance divide us from those who matter the most, we will be truly broken. I have no intention of letting that happen."

"Vengeance? You're thinking of Erebor," Ori said, looking startled.

"I am. All of what's happening in Ered Luin and in our lives is because of the loss of Erebor and though I understand the burning wish to take it back, we can't lose ourselves in the process. Some prices are too high."

Gisla smiled warmly at Fili. "Then we need to do what we can to keep that from happening."

"It's going to be hard," Fili murmured. He turned to look at Ori and smiled. "You serve as an inspiration to all of us – loyal, steadfast, and yet capable of making independent decisions based on what you believe in." For a long time Fili had been trying to find a time and place to openly tell his old friend how important he was, not only as a friend, but also in the role Fili would give him if that day ever were to come.

Ori's eyes went wide and he struggled to find words. "I only try to do what's right," he finally managed.

"It's more than enough," Fili said gently. They sat in silence for a long while, with the fire's quiet hiss and occasional crack being the only sounds heard, each contemplating the significance of that moment. Tiredness finally got the better of Fili and a yawn escaped him. Gisla snickered. "It has been a trying day," he complained.

Gisla sighed. "It has. We should sleep too."

"You think those two are sleeping? I doubt it," Fili replied drily. "It's fortunate we have a chamber between us and them."

Ori glanced at Fili, looking uncomfortable, and Gisla rolled her eyes. The chamber in question was Ori's and she could well understand his discomfort at such a reference. Ori respected them all profoundly and would treat personal matters with great tact. Tact between the brothers, on the other hand, was an almost alien concept, at least as long as no one but family was present.

"Oh hush you. They have never given you cause for complaint before," Gisla admonished.

"I'm only joking," Fili said. "But you're right. We should go to bed." He stretched slightly and rose from his seat.

* * *

Kili gently sat Mari down on the bed and as he straightened, she wrapped her arms around his middle and held him tightly, leaning the side of her head against his belly, pressing her eyes shut.

"I don't know where to begin," she murmured.

He dropped his hands to her shoulders and sighed. "Then start with the first thought that comes to your mind," he said quietly. "Mari, tell me when it becomes too much. You don't have to be alone in this."

She drew a ragged breath and released her grip and tried to catch his eyes. He sunk down on his knees in front of her.

"Don't lock yourself inside a shell." It was almost a plea and he took her hands in his, pressing them gently.

She glanced at their hands and sighed. "I didn't. . . I'm not great at seeking comfort, and I honestly have a lot to tell you. Not just you, but the others as well." For a few seconds she hesitated, but decided she needed to let him know she understood his strive to care. "I'm grateful you understand when I'm struggling. Thank you."

He reached up and caressed her cheek and smiled. "We'll sleep, then we'll continue. At some point we will find these Orcs first, before they can cause more death and destruction."

She nodded, but a slight shiver made her curl in on herself slightly. Her eyes darted to the window where the winter outside painted roses on it. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it. If I can do anything at all."

The softness in his eyes gave way to alarm. "Don't," he said decisively.

"You don't see thing as I do. Things happen and revelations are made that makes me doubt it. I'm not as insensitive to magic as I thought I was." She reached up put her hand over his, still lingering on her cheek. "Even you are unable to withstand the kind I'm talking about. It's feeding my doubts and I feel more insignificant and powerless this evening than ever before."

"Then don't listen. You are not powerless. Far from it. You have only to ask, and I will do anything to help you, as will the others."

She reached out, slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled him closer, leaning her forehead against his.

"Kili, when did you know?" she asked, changing the subject. She needed time to think before she revealed what she had discovered that morning and right now she would rather just be in the present, alone with him. When she noticed his confused silence she hurried to add, "I mean, that One thing." She pulled back a bit so she could study his face.

With a small smile he lowered his gaze. "I had a conversation with Fili a couple of months after Yule, when I had to admit that you were more than a good friend." Finding her eyes again he continued, "But there was a reason for my reaction when Uncle needled me during that breakfast when he came to apologise. For a moment I feared he knew."

Mari snorted. "And I was trying to keep from giving him the impression I was ogling."

Kili chuckled. "I didn't notice."

"Well, to be honest, at that point I wasn't. Not really. I mean, I have eyes, yes, and I suspected you perhaps were a bit. . . too friendly." She made a face.

He nodded. "Fili teased me about you from time to time, and I know Dwalin saw it coming quite early."

At the mention of Dwalin, Mari sighed. "I can't wrap my head around him to be honest. His reaction when I revealed the braids was. . . I mean, not even your uncle has been that unyielding."

She watched him turn his eyes to the fire as if the answer were in the flickering flames devouring the firewood.

"He doesn't want to see either of us hurt. In his mind he's trying to protect us both. Life has made the Longbeards cling even more to our traditions, and it's politically inopportune for Uncle to break those for our sake. But the worst would be for you to face people's judgement."

She sighed. "Believe it or not, that I'm familiar with. People are people, doesn't matter in what world." She pulled back her hands and pressed the heels of her palms over her eyes. "I just can't. Not now. I've seen too much death today to deal with politics."

When her hands dropped into her lap he pushed himself up and pressed his lips on hers. With a strangled noise in the back of her throat she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

"I know the best therapy though," she murmured into his mouth.

"You do?" he smirked.

Letting go of his neck, she ran her hands over his chest until her fingers found the belt buckle, and within seconds there was a clang of metal against wood as the belt dropped to the floor.

"You're becoming quite good at that," he chuckled and pulled back enough to meet her eyes. It had been a source of some amusement to him as she at one point had complained about Dwarven odd fastening solutions while she struggled with his some of the garments he wore.

"It's just a belt buckle. I have yet to let something that trivial defeat me," she grinned.

Cradling her face with his hands he leaned his forehead against hers. "I fear losing you," he suddenly admitted. With a small smile she planted a kiss on his lips.

"The feeling is mutual. But we're not dead yet and hopefully we won't be any time soon. Enough of this gloom."

"I agree," he agreed with a grin.

* * *

The door burst open, brutally waking them, and the opening revealed Fili with his shirt in his left hand and one of his two swords in his right.

"Wake up! We're being attacked!" he shouted and yanked the shirt over his head. The sound of shattering glass and guttural curses had Fili ducking his head out in the corridor again and then he left.

Mari sat up with wide eyes and the quilt clutched around herself, while Kili scrambled out of the bed, retrieving his clothes from the heap on the floor as he went. With a quick breath she pushed the quilt aside and followed Kili's example. There was no time for modesty now.

Loud banging and shouting echoed through the smial and Mari's hands were frenzied as she pulled and tied her way through her garments. Boots on, she donned her quiver and sword, gripping her bow, running towards the front door to join Fili who was already there. Kili and Gisla were hot on her heels, and Ori burst out through the door to his room with his sword ready.

The pale and frightened Hobbit family who had offered them shelter for the night peeked out from their rooms, but stayed where they were, and the Dwarves and Mari didn't waste time on false reassurance.

"They're almost through!" Fili shouted.

Mari threw a glance towards the kitchen, which was beyond a short angled corridor. This smial's kitchen had windows in another direction than the front door, which potentially could work to an advantage in this situation, she decided.

She pushed the bow into its holster and set off towards the kitchen. Kili shouted after her but she didn't stop to explain. Inside the kitchen, she carefully made sure no one was outside, flung the window open, and crawled outside. The freezing winter air hit her like a wall, but she ignored it as she stopped to gauge the situation outside.

With a quick move she retrieved her bow and nocked an arrow, and trudged through the snow as silently as she could, making her way round the curved wall. Once the front door came into view, she aimed her arrow at the Orc closest to her. She let the arrow go.

The assault on the front door stopped abruptly with the first scream of agony, though the commotion didn't. Loud screams and Orc curses echoed on the other side of the almost broken down door.

"Open the door!" Kili shouted and raised his bow, taking aim. Next to him Gisla positioned herself, armed with two small axes she clearly intended to send through the door as it opened.

Fili lunged for the door knob and threw it open, allowing Kili to shot into the Orc pack, which now had their focus elsewhere. Gisla's axes went through the opening too, finding their targets. Fili and Ori charged through the entrance with Gisla quickly hurrying behind, leaving Kili inside, cursing at their impatience. He turned and took off down the corridor, the same way that Mari had gone moments ago.

Shoving the bow into its holster on his back, he dove through the open window and gripped the hilt of his sword, pulling it as he got on his feet. Mari came into view as she was slowly backing around the curved wall, defending herself against an Orc who was attacking her with everything he had. Kili lunged forward and shoved his sword into the chest of the Orc, pulling it out again before it had dropped into the deep snow.

They both sprinted as best they could in the knee-deep snow towards the others. The last Orc fell under Gisla's sword as Kili and Mari reached them, and the group stopped momentarily to take in the situation around them. The Orc marauders were not large in number, but the Long Cleeve inhabitants didn't stand much of a chance, caught in their sleep as they were.

Mari sheathed her sword, picked up her bow again, and took aim. Next to her Kili did the same, while Fili, Gisla and Ori disappeared down the hill towards the nearest ongoing smial assault. Having successfully stopped the worst of the attack, which they could reach with their arrows, Kili and Mari retrieved their arrows from the Orcs they had killed, and hurried on down the hill to find new positions from where they could rain death over the Orcs.

In the silence a soft moaning and crying drifted around them where they stood. Fili moved first, sheathing his swords, stalking towards the closest smial. Gisla and Ori followed his example.

Mari and Kili put away their bows and Mari turned to head back to where they had slept.

"Mari!" Kili called after her and quickly caught up.

"I'm going to see how our hosts are doing and to find something we can use as bandages," she explained and stopped. "Will you rally those who escaped the attack?"

Kili studied her intently and then nodded. She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I'm fine. We need to help these people," she said. He nodded again and hurried away.

Surprisingly no one had actually died, much to everyone's relief. The Orcs and their Wargs had caused a lot of material destruction – broken doors and windows, and the Wargs had been digging into the hillsides in an attempt to get to the inhabitants – but not all smials had been affected. In fact, a majority were untouched. The injured and now homeless were removed to neighbours and the Dwarves and Mari found themselves deprived of much else to do other than taking care of the slain Orcs and Wargs.

When the sun rose over the hills, they lit the Orc pyre and stood watching the fire reaching higher and higher. Mari pushed her scarf up over her nose as the smell of searing flesh reached them. It didn't help much and she found she had to leave, or she'd throw up.

As she turned she saw from a distance a group of Rangers moving towards them, and she reached out, catching Kili's coat and yanking it.

"We've got company," she rasped out, and the others turned. Fili let out a sigh and set off to meet them, with the others trailing behind. It was a band of eight men, some whom they had met before in company with Gethron, when they sought the Rangers out when they had decided to join their effort. A few, including the captain, were new to them. They greeted the Men and introductions were made.

"You missed all the fun," Fili said drily and ignored the smell, which had several of the Rangers wrinkling their noses.

"It's like looking for a needle in a haystack," Herudil, the captain of the company, said bitterly. "They come in small packs, moving quickly, and there's no pattern to their attacks. They cross the borders easily now when the Brandywine River is frozen solid, and we cannot move as fast as their Wargs can. Horses are useless in this snow." His eyes settled on Mari and narrowed slightly as she pushed back the hood a bit to hear better.

"We can't even move as fast as you do. Those contraptions on your feet certainly are a clever invention," he continued.

"We could make snowshoes for you," Mari offered. "They're easier to use, if not so fast downhill as skis. But they're quick and not so difficult to make."

Herudil considered this for a moment. "We can't spare much time staying here."

She shook her head. "There's no need to. We'll get on with it and show you as we go, so you can spread how they're made to others."

Taken off-guard, his surprise was obvious and he gave her a slow nod. "We accept most graciously." His eyes flickered briefly to Fili, who simply inclined his head.

* * *

Mari and Kili spent the day with one of the Rangers named Inglor, who had been assigned to learn the craft; cutting wicker, moulding them, cutting strips out of leather and assembling the wood and leather into functional snowshoes. The work kept her tiredness at bay for the most part, but as the sun settled behind the hills, she finally fell asleep, leaning against the leg of a table, with a piece of bread in her hand.

With a smile Kili crouched down, picked her up and carried her off to bed.

"Forgive me for asking, but what manner of person is she?" Inglor asked as Kili came back. "She looks like us, but she's the smallest woman I have ever seen. She's not taller than a child of ours, yet she is grown."

Kili arched an eyebrow at him and picked up the snowshoe he had been working on. "Her story is a strange one," he said and begun retelling it as he continued to work. As he came to the end of it he added, "In her own words, 'looks can be deceiving. Just because we look similar, that does not mean we're the same. Similarly, those that don't look the same can still share enough to be considered related.' I suppose she's correct."

Inglor nodded and they continued to work in silence for a while. "She's wearing courting braids," he quietly said, breaking the silence. His gaze fixed steadily on Kili, whose fingers had stopped working. The Dwarf looked up at the Ranger but his face gave nothing away. "I have seen them, among the Dwarven Travellers in the south in particular, with those kinds of beads," the Man hastily added.

"Yes, she is." Kili's face was carefully neutral.

"She wasn't the last time I saw her," Inglor pressed on.

Kili nodded and turned his attention to the leather he was holding in his hands. Inglor had been the one taking the last watch before morning, when Mari had woken up from the nightmare in Samford. Of course he would have noticed the lack of ornaments in her hair after such a startling event. Inglor's interest in Mari grated on him though, and his brow furrowed.

"That's correct. She wasn't wearing them at the time," he replied curtly and picked up a hammer, and begun hammering rivets through the leather, attaching it to the wicker frame.

Inglor watched Kili hammer rivet after rivet in place and when he put the hammer down, Inglor smiled slightly.

"She seems quite clever," he said. Kili looked up, studying the other man incredulously. "We will all owe her a debt because of these." He held up the snowshoe in his hand. "It's generous of you to share your knowledge with us."

"She does it because she cares about everyone here. You are our allies and she would not want you to see it as if you were to owe her anything." Kili was tired and it showed. This Ranger meant well and was apparently acquainted with Dwarves in general, some of their customs and their tendency to keep things to themselves, even engineering solutions.

He felt like cursing Dwarven secrecy, with which he rarely agreed. Being faced with his people's tendency to be surreptitious and aloof right now, after a day and night like they had just lived through, vexed him. It was made worse as it was paired with an open curiosity about Mari, but he contained it, reminding himself that the man in front of him was a friend, not a foe.

Inglor nodded as he studied Kili. His gaze was soft as their eyes met. "I suspected as much. However, should you need to, you can call on it. We cannot offer much, but refuge is one of the things we can offer. We'd be glad to wander with the two of you." He was sincere and his voice warm.

Kili's hands sank into his lap as he stared at the Ranger, who climbed to his feet, gathered his things, bowed his head, and left. Embarrassment over his near overreaction warred with the gratefulness he felt. The offer had come so suddenly and unexpectedly, and, for a moment, the room blurred slightly. He blinked rapidly and sniffed, lowering his eyes to the near-finished snowshoe in his hand. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply and a small smile stole over his features. They had somewhere to go should the worst happen.

* * *

They were met with a very relieved crowd as they filed into the forge yard, four weeks after they had set out.

"When you didn't come back, we feared the worst!" Dori exclaimed. "If a company of Rangers hadn't passed through ten days ago, I would have worried myself to an early grave!" He hurried over to Ori and relieved him of his pack and begun fussing over the state of their equipment.

Dis embraced first Fili and Gisla, then Kili, before she made her way through the crowd toward Mari. Mari was occupied with Prim, who had come running down the hill, as fast as her legs could carry her, throwing herself in Mari's arms. Mari picked Prim up and swung her around, laughing happily. When she put down her friend she noticed Dis and her grin faltered slightly as she let Prim go.

"Welcome home," Dis said and gathered Mari in her arms. Mari wrapped her arms around Dis to return the embrace, relaxing as she leaned against the older woman. As she looked over Dis' shoulder, she met Thorin's eyes and stiffened again. Dis pulled back and followed her line of sight.

"He doesn't say much, but he has been worried," Dis said softly. "We heard about Long Cleeve. . . " She paused. "He has been talking about removing to Northfarthing to meet the threat along with you."

Mari glanced back at Dis and nodded. "I can imagine," she replied. Inactivity didn't agree with Thorin, that much she knew.

"Go on and greet him." Dis nudged her slightly, and Mari nodded. She stepped through the throng of gathered people and stopped in front of Thorin.

"You don't need to tackle me," she said with a faint smile in attempt to joke about the kind of reception that would have left bruises and aches, had she been the target for that kind of affection.

Thorin smirked. "It's below my station to act in such a way," he replied, looking very regal.

"Yeah, I've noticed you're not quite as openly affectionate as Dwalin." She darted a glance at Dwalin and grinned.

"You may have discovered that he's careful to not extend that kind of affections to you, since you're on the frail side." The regal king was replaced with an amused family head, not much different from Isembard, and she wondered how he did that, how he could just switch on that side of him.

"I'm tougher than I look," she shrugged.

"So I have heard. Welcome home, Miss Mari," he said and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you." She considered him for a split second as she understood his hesitation. Her mind's eye drifted as she saw another time and place where this could repeat itself, with a Hobbit Thorin probably scoffed at right now, if he had even registered Bilbo's existence. She smiled softly.

Thorin saw her faraway gaze, and he tilted his head slightly as he wondered what she saw. She had said she didn't have true foresight, but she certainly looked like she did in this very moment.

"Miss Mari," he said softly, calling her attention. Her eyes focussed and her smile turned secretive as her gaze sparkled.

"I know you're hard-won, but I'm not put off," she said, looking confident.

He inclined his head slightly and let go of her shoulder. This was a trait he could appreciate, aside from the other qualities she had. She had put him in a position he abhorred and he had lost his temper when he found out, though he had, surprisingly, not frightening her. Gone was the girl who buckled under unspoken pressure, replaced by a woman who'd lock horns with him even when he was furious. The change had taken place in less than a year. An extraordinary time admittedly, but it seemed like such a very short time to him.

Unexpectedly she had written a long letter, carried back to him by the Rangers heading south. It was just as she had said she would, something Thorin had brushed aside as simply words used to get out of an uncomfortable situation. After reading it, he lost his anger. Even if he knew it was futile he found himself wishing he didn't have to attend to the political situation. He knew though just how deep the conservatism ran among the Longbeards and the past almost two centuries dwindling in exile hadn't helped. Sooner or later, a definite decision had to be made, and it would cost him, he suspected, no matter what the choice would be.

With one last look at Thorin, Mari turned towards Dwalin and all reserve was gone as she disappeared into his embrace, being lifted off the ground. Thorin watched them and wondered how they so easily reconnected despite the confrontation they'd had the last time they had met. Despite Balin and Dwalin being so different, they had one thing in common – they formed friendships with an ease Thorin lacked. He suspected his nephews had a part in this too, explaining the reason for Dwalin's words, and he remembered that he wasn't the only one who had received letters. Dis and Dwalin had too. She disarmed them all with honest words; perhaps her best weapon.

"It's good ta see ye in one piece lass!" Dwalin rumbled as he set her down.

"Oh, I agree," she smirked, and Dwalin roared with laughter. Thorin found himself chuckling too. Yes, he admitted that he agreed with Dwalin – it was good to see her in one piece.

* * *

They stayed in Tuckborough for five days. The past two months had taken its toll on Kili, Gisla and Mari in particular, and they needed the rest. They repaired what was torn and broken, made new arrows, washed their clothes and bedrolls, and healed their cuts and bruises. They relished sleeping in the same bed for several nights in a row, knowing they were safe, and Kili shaved for the first time in nine weeks.

"It can't be denied it protects the face when it's bitterly cold, but it's becoming too long," he replied when Dwalin commented on it.

"Yer a Longbeard lad!" Dwalin exclaimed and followed the blade with narrowing eyes.

Kili shrugged and grinned. "You'll hardly complain the day I save your hide with a well-aimed arrow."

"And what's wrong with an axe? Now that's a proper weapon!" Dwalin pointed challengingly at Kili.

"Never said it wasn't," Kili replied breezily and kept shaving. "You should try it. No itching, no left overs stuck in your face," he glanced at Fili, "no braids ending up in your mouth. . . " He paused. "On the whole, I'm quite pleased I have something to blame this shaving on." He tried to contain a smirk as he raised the blade to continue.

Dwalin snorted. "I suppose it's yer choice ta look like an Elf," he said with glee.

"Insults won't get you anywhere," Kili retorted with the smirk still curving his lips. "And recently you also lost one of your favourite arguments." He glanced at Mari, who smiled back at him.

"It's still unnatural!" Dwalin declared. Kili only grinned back at him and continued shaving.

As they continued to bicker, Mari turned her attention to the fire she sat next to. Everyone but the five travellers was acting like the quarrel a month prior never happened, and though she didn't exactly enjoy conflicts, it was like it wasn't even acknowledged that there was a serious problem. At the same time she knew she was being watched, or rather, she and Kili were being watched.

Thorin kept his focus on arming and defending the Shire, and to her surprise she found herself pulled into that work. The bulk of her experience with strategy was in games, and she hadn't played a lot either. She had paid at least some attention to the history lessons in school though, and when she pointed out that Hobbits couldn't be expected to meet the enemy in combat, slashing and hacking hand-to-hand, in particular not with Orcs, Dwalin listened to her. They spent an entire evening discussing what could possibly work, and what wouldn't, constantly being sidetracked by the many stories Dwalin had to share.

Thorin was brooding most of the time, often seated in a corner of the parlour where he could watch what was going on, which he probably hoped would escape notice. Naturally everyone was very aware of his presence, and Mari often noticed his slow repetitive turning of something in his hand. When she asked Kili about it, he told her it was one of the heirlooms passed down from one king to the next; a plain silvery band of some unknown metal which had been the mark of the king since one of the early Durin kings in Khazad Dûm.

"He's thinking of Erebor," Kili had told her and turned away from Thorin.

She darted a glance at him. "Why now? It's not like we don't have other things to think about."

With a lopsided smile Kili replied, "It was you who told me I probably didn't understand how much it weighs on him. I know it does, but it has become worse. Even I can tell it has. It's like the mountain is calling to him."

Mari studied him for a while. "I'm fairly sure he's reading all the things that are happening as if they were portents." She turned to look out at the winter holding the land in a death grip. "And he's not entirely wrong." Throwing a quick look and a raised brow at Kili, as if she could hear his curious questions she continued, "Not now."

Kili shrugged. "I'll find out soon enough."

Rolling her eyes she leaned forward. "Yes, you will, but I can't speak about it here, right now. We are where we're needed right now and we should focus on that," she whispered.

"'Want to tell me why you look like you're conspiring?" Fili asked as he plunked down virtually between them. Mari and Kili pulled apart and turned towards him.

"It was starting to look conspicuous," he added and raised a mug to his lips with a smug grin.

"We're plotting the demise of the evil overlord currently residing in Mirkwood," Mari said breezily.

Fili choked on the ale he was drinking and Mari smirked at him.

"Thranduil?" he hissed with wide eyes.

"No silly. I know you're not on the best of terms with him, but it's a bit of a stretch to call him an evil overlord, isn't it?"

Fili nodded sheepishly and Mari continued. "I was just joking. I was reminding your brother that some things are best left for another day. By a camp-fire in the woods for instance." Where there are no eavesdropping relatives, she added silently with her eyes locked on Fili, who gave her a barely visible nod.

Reaching out she picked up her own mug and peered down into it. It was empty and she debated with herself if she should make some more tea or go for the warmed up ale with honey Fili favoured. She had to admit that it was decent and gave a bit of a buzz, just enough to brighten the day the fraction needed to ignore the things she found annoying right now.

"I'll take you up on that," Fili said, pointing his mug at her, and brought her back from her beverage musings. Her eyes slipped to the side and landed on Thorin's hands, which were still slowly turning the ring in his hands. Fili carefully followed her line of sight and pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Ale?" Fili chirped, aiming the question at Mari as he pushed himself up from the stool he had been sitting on.

"Yes please," Mari said with determination and caught Kili's confused and vaguely hurt expression. She started reaching to him, when Fili put his hand on Kili's shoulder and pressed it.

"I'll get you one too, brother." They glanced at each other for a long moment before Fili left.

"I wish we were on our way already," Kili muttered under his breath.

"It'll happen sooner than you think," she said and sighed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation is becoming dire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Fell Winter is now part I in a series called The Paths We Must Take. More insight into the character Gisla and her connection to Fili, Kili and Ori can be found in Winter Tales, part II in the aforementioned series; stories from Ered Luin told during a winter storm in this chapter.

They spent weeks on skis, making their way through the Shire, always working alongside the Rangers. More often than not, they found themselves patrolling Northfarthing together with other small groups of Men. Though they were curious of Mari, they where respectful and quiet people, careful to not intrude.

There were even moments where Mari recognised the subtle differences which made her feel she had a connection with them that she didn't have with Hobbits or Dwarves. Fairly quickly she formed acquaintances among them and the exchange of stories and experiences felt more like mending the hollowness she felt because she missed her home, than adding to it.

Gisla was always in her shadow, causing some curiosity on her own. Mari often found herself smiling at the camp fires as she witnessed the cultural exchange between these people, as Gisla carefully talked about Dwarves in general and Travellers in particular, and listened as Mari and the Rangers discussed quite Human matters.

During this the male part of the group was mostly present even if they did mark a slight distance by seating themselves as a group on their own, with a few feet of space between them and the rest. Ori was always the closest, with his papers and pens at the ready, while the brothers hung back, silently smoking until the pipeweed was no longer possible to obtain, while having silent exchanges.

Mari was uncertain why they marked something of a distance, but as it didn't concern Gisla, Mari didn't allow it to affect her, but she watched the interaction in general to get some insight into what might be going on in their minds. When it was clear that Fili and Kili showed no hesitation to discuss matters with the Rangers in other situations, she concluded she simply didn't quite understand Dwarven social interaction. Not yet, at least.

She revealed what she had discovered in Evendim, the Morgul arrow, warning them about what would happen if injured by one. The reaction was as she had predicted; it was taken seriously, but wasn't cause for panic.

Storms started raging. Almost once a week they were either trapped in a village or dug down in the snow, waiting for the storms to dissipate. What could have been a trying experience – being trapped in a very small space for days sometimes – turned out to be the opposite. The generally positive atmosphere with plenty of laughter kept adding to the feeling of belonging for Mari. There were moments when she felt she wanted this to go on forever. Despite the limitations to diet and the cold and issues that came with it, she felt her spirits return and the nightmares stopped plaguing her. When she could forget about the future, she had moments of real happiness.

For months they didn't come across as much as a Warg foot print. It was like the attacks never happened and there was a strange silence over the land. Evil had apparently turned its attention to more important places and people. It wasn't like the Shire seemed like a place of great importance after all. Mari couldn't help but smirk at that thought. Evil should keep a better eye on this nook of the world, but she was pleased to see that it seemed to escape notice for the most part. In that sense everything was as it should, and she intended to keep it that way, if at all possible.

Thorin couldn't be contained in Tuckborough, but started taking a more active part in the defence of the entire Shire. The forge had already armed the neighbourhood with mainly blade weapons, and Dwalin had convinced the carpenters to change production to making pikes. Dis had picked up the hammer alongside Dori and continued to work to make certain the people had some decent protection while Thorin and Dwalin taught how to use the weapons they had been provided with. As what should have been summer slowly progressed the Shire built an army of their own.

For the most part the company of five didn't involve themselves in this work, but on occasion, as they found themselves in the same village as Thorin and Dwalin, they joined the two impromptu leaders for a day or two to learn about the progress they were doing. It wasn't the sort of warfare Dwarves were used to, but as the irregular porcupine hordes of Hobbits with pikes, threatening to harm themselves more than any enemy, eventually became organised blocks, it was clear it would be effective against the kind of enemy the Orcs were.

The winter prevailed however, and as the calendar said Halimath, starvation was beginning to become a real threat to everyone, and the farm animals left that wasn't absolutely necessary were slaughtered. Ale and bread can sustain someone for for a lifetime, with a bit of added cabbage and brawn, and it was what they lived on.

Rations were cut down, and by mid-autumn they were all beginning to feel the effects, even if Mari had it tougher than the Dwarves. Unsurprisingly they could live on a more one-sided diet than she could, and to not seem like a liability, she didn't say anything about it. At every opportunity she tried to surreptitiously retain some of the life sustaining foods they rarely if ever saw which she then rationed in an effort to stave off malnutrition.

She was unaware of the keen eyes that Gisla had, who worriedly watched her friend struggle, always trying to find alternatives to their meagre diet. She had to admit that Mari was quite proficient at survival, dressing it up in general concern for all their sakes, but Gisla wasn't fooled. One night, a month before Yule, as Gisla woke her up for her to take over her watch, the concerned friend pressed the truth from Mari.

"I know you're not doing well. I can tell you're much more concerned about this than we are and there's a reason for it, isn't there?" Gisla opened as Mari sat down by the fire and accepted the mug Gisla offered her and popped a spruce sprig into the hot water, then one in Gisla's mug. She had managed to convince the Dwarves it was good for them to drink warm water in which spruce and pine twigs had soaked, lecturing them on nutrition and how the spruce and pine needles were rich in vitamin C, though she was sure only Gisla and Ori really listened.

"None of us are doing as well as they can Gisla. I'll be fine. It's just a few months left." Mari kept her tone light in an attempt to brush what ever this was aside. Gisla's jaw clenched and Mari sighed inwardly. Of course it had to be Gisla who discovered the truth, always looking out for her in ways the others didn't. Kili did try and she had to admit that he was good at it, but she was especially careful to not allow him to understand the gravity of the situation. She must have slipped a bit with Gisla present she decided.

"Spring won't come for another four months – and that's if this evil is broken." Gisla checked on the sleeping friends and lovers to make certain no one was eavesdropping on this conversation.

"It will come. I know it will," Mari replied decisively as Gisla sat down next to her again.

"Meanwhile you're secretly suffering. You must stop keeping this to yourself. No one would think any less of you." There was a silent plea in Gisla's eyes as she tried to catch her friend's eyes, brown like her own, if not nearly as deep in colour.

"Really? I'm a burden and you know it. If I was honest about how bad this could become you know both Kili and Fili would force me to go back to Tuckborough," Mari replied bitterly, not meeting Gisla's gaze.

"Would that be so bad?" Gisla resolutely reached out for her bag and Mari's, and stuffed her ration of smoked hare into Mari's ration bag. Mari winced as she watched it.

"How could I waste away there while you're here?" she asked.

"We don't know how long this will last. If it keeps you alive, it has to be worth it," Gisla replied with a scowl. She really didn't want to say it out loud, but she would secretly be pleased that what had fast had become her best friend, would be kept safe, if she could be convinced to go back home.

"What if I'll never see you again? You know I have altered things, even if they are small changes, and there's no telling what the effects are," Mari protested.

Gisla watched her for a while. They had talked at length about the future and she knew more than Fili, Kili and Ori, but there were moments when she felt it all seemed ridiculous. How could one woman, not even with their own Dwarven strength, change anything? There were wizards and magical Elves in this world who should be able to do much more, and yet, they were all suffering from this winter which no one seemed to be able to break. On the other hand, she had to admit she didn't want to take any chances with Fili's life at stake either.

"You think you personally can keep them alive?" Gisla asked quietly, with her eyes nailed at the sleeping forms of Fili, Kili and Ori barely distinguishable under the hides huddling closely together all three of them.

"I don't know. But I know they have a gift for dumb decisions." Mari looked down at the sprig of spruce in her mug. Spruce and pine wasn't too common in the Shire, but just that day she had found a couple of them hidden among the bare trees in a grove. If they were more common she'd be a lot less concerned for her health she thought, and pressed her lips together.

"I'm not going to let Fee do something headless. If he doesn't, Kee won't." Gisla swished around her sprig in the mug.

"It's easier said than done," Mari pointed out.

Gisla snorted. "They've been rather good so far."

"We've not seen so much as a Warg footprint for months. This is virtually like a winter holiday on skis – the alpine troops survival version. At the first sign of trouble, expect them to run off to be heroic," Mari grumbled.

"It's part of what you like about Kee," Gisla said gently.

"I know. But unlike Fee he doesn't arm himself to his teeth, and he is reckless." Mari shook her head. "This isn't just about him, Gisla. You know it's much greater than that."

With a nod Gisla raised the mug to her lips and sipped carefully on the beverage. "Do you have a plan yet?" she asked.

Mari rubbed the side of her face and sighed. "Not really no. My mind keep going in circles. They have to do it; take back Erebor. They have to take the route over the mountains. That part is particularly important actually, but it's also part of what could kill them. And then there's that presence in Mirkwood..."

"You keep coming back to that," Gisla pointed out.

"With good reason. I don't want to call him by his name and I don't want to be noticed in any way by him. I think though that he's the key to everything." Mari noticed Gisla shivering.

"The way you speak about what ever he is makes me very ill at ease." Gisla's eyes darted around them.

"Good. It should." Mari slowly sipped on her tea as well.

Gisla snorted and coughed on her spruce tea. "It's sometimes so obvious why Dwalin likes you." Her eyes twinkled with amusement.

With a shrug and a lopsided grin Mari replied, "I'm also good at sharpening weapons, thanks to my old chef colleagues."

"Hmm," Gisla hummed. "I don't think that's all there is to it though."

They were silently sipping their warm drinks for a while, Gisla eyeing the darkness around them while Mari listened to the winter night.

"You can't keep going like this," Gisla said into the darkness.

"I'm not going home." Mari glared at her friend.

"Then you have to say something. We don't have much, but between us we can keep you in decent enough shape." Gisla leaned forward and locked eyes with Mari.

"I won't tell Kee. I don't want you to tell Fee. Please," Mari pleaded.

"What do you think Kee will say when he finds out? He'll not be happy."

"Better angry than dead," Mari concluded while Gisla leaned back and glared at her mug. "You should sleep some," Mari continued softly. "It's another joyous day of patrolling in the morning and even if you're tougher when it comes to poor diets, you need sleep as much as I do."

"I can manage." Gisla raised the mug to her lips again.

"I'm not falling down dead, if that's what you think. It's not that bad." She watched her friend for a few moments. "Can I ask something personal?"

Gisla glanced at her and her eyebrows furrowed slightly. "You know you can."

Mari nodded slowly. "I just didn't want to catch you off guard."

"I appreciate it, but it's not necessary," Gisla smiled.

"Do you and Fee ever think about having children?" Gisla tilted her head and peered at Mari. "It's hardly any secret why his family were in such a hurry," Mari added.

Gisla considered the question for a moment. "Yes, of course." She smiled. "I know a certain someone is anxious, but... Right now? Doesn't seem like a particularly good idea."

Mari nodded. "I suspected that was the case."

"I'd not exactly be thrilled to be forced to stay behind myself. We take precautions."

Mari arched her eyebrows. This was something they hadn't discussed and Mari had been under the impression people didn't consider it much since they were light years away from any pills or other modern methods.

"Middle Earth contraception? Who knew?" She grinned widely and Gisla made a face in reply. Mari shrugged. "You've got to understand, back home it's commonplace, but I assumed there weren't much to choose from here. Well, aside from the absolute basics."

Gisla's eyes widened. "I must apologise. I don't know why it never occurred to me that you can't know about these things unless someone told you."

Mari nodded and shifted slightly. "Well, it's not like I'm a complete idiot here, and neither is Kili. But sure, there have been some... calculated risk taking going on, at least from my perspective. On the other hand, I doubt anything could happen. I have no idea just how different we are, but I think it's safe to say that a pregnancy is unlikely. I'm not even from this world, Gisla." She made a face. "Which isn't exactly in my favour either, come to think of it."

"Since you don't know, it would be foolish to take any risks. Better safe than sorry, particularly now when we're fighting to survive this winter." Gisla's voice was firm, and Mari had to admit she had a point. "There's this tea I drink every morning the week before I bleed," she continued.

Mari gave her a flat look. "I haven't had my period in a couple of months. I eat too little for the life we live, so I lost it."

With a sigh she rubbed her forehead. "That can't be good."

"I'll get it back once I gain some weight. I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised I have lost it already, because though I have lost weight, it's not that dramatic." Mari gripped the mug tightly with both hands and raised it to her lips.

"You don't see yourself. I can tell you it's quite clear your diet is meagre. It's affecting us all, but you've become quite thin."

After a few moments Mari sighed. "What if I get sick from the tea then?"

Gisla's face fell. "We have no one to ask. I suppose the apothecary back in Tuckborough perhaps could answer."

"I don't dare to drink a tea with unknown ingredients to prevent something that might never happen at a time when I don't even have my period. Not when I'm fighting to stay on my feet."

Nodding Gisla replied, "Understandable. Would you like to know anyway?"

"It doesn't hurt to get that insight." Mari grinned. "So is this common knowledge or just something kept between women?"

"It's not this great secret, if that's what you mean. Most men don't interest themselves for this though, so their insight may be a bit limited," Gisla replied and started explaining.

Once Gisla had crept into the heap of sleeping Dwarves to get some rest before morning, Mari sat contemplating her new-found insight. Once winter was over she would have to make a decision about this she realised. It seemed sensible to avoid any surprises, but on the other hand, what if there was no need? As she had said, she was an alien. It should be impossible. The next moment she remembered she was dead, and not only that, but something had changed her, shrinking her. She almost slapped her hand on her forehead at the thought.

"Bloody hell," she grumbled under her breath. Back to square one, she realised. Better safe than sorry. If she could stand the tea, of course. She sighed and decided to make some more spruce tea for herself as she waited for the first light to appear at the horizon.

* * *

A week before Yule, they stopped in Dwaling, which had become their hub in the area they patrolled. The coming day they would be leaving for home and the annual celebrations, and a quiet excitement raised their spirits as they made their way through the village, greeting the friends they had made over time, eventually coming to a halt in front of the inn where they stuck their skis into the snow before they entered.

The Yule celebrations meant food, which had everyone excited and full of anticipation. The usual meal they had that evening was made more festive with a half-pint of strong Yule ale the keeper of the inn served them. They talked, laughed and sang together with the company of Rangers they patrolled the borders alongside, until it was unusually late and they all found their beds.

Mari didn't know why she woke up. For a moment she simply listened before opening her eyes. The fire had died down and painted a dull red light on the furniture facing the hearth. She tried to settle back into sleep but something was pressing on her, and the air seemed low on oxygen, making her shift around in bed snapping after air. Her uneasiness stirred Kili, who murmured in his sleep and reached out to pull her close. As she stiffened, he stilled and his eyelids cracked open, and and he gazed at her with drowsy alarm.

"What's wrong?" he breathed.

"I don't know. I just have this sense..." she whispered and frowned. She listened into the silence for a while she was intensely aware of Kili's eyes watching her. Nothing. The uneasiness wouldn't go away however.

"It's like there's something in the air," she finally said apologetically.

His jaw set. "Get up," he growled and flung the covers to the side.

"I don't sense things like the Hobbits do. It's probably just me being nervous." She caught his arm as he climbed past her. He paused and glanced at her.

"You're not imagining things because I feel it too. Get dressed. We must warn the others." She let go of his arm and followed him out of bed. He raked the coals to the centre of the hearth and was about to throw some firewood on it when she caught him again, shaking her head.

"It'll destroy the little night vision I have and I'd rather keep it," she explained. With a nod he let the piece of wood fall back in the hamper.

Kili finished dressing first and slipped over to the window to take a peek outside. He stood for a long while staring through the panes, before turning back to the room.

"Nothing." He gripped the clothes he hadn't yet thrown on, including the parka, his bow and quiver and stepped into his boots. "We need to wake the others."

Half an hour later, Mari was perched on top of a shed in the eastern part of the village, staring out into the darkness. The new moon was setting and gave no more light than the stars above did. It was bitterly cold and it was nipping her toes, despite the sheep's wool lining them, and she sighed in frustration and checked on the scarf she had pulled over her face. She couldn't use the hood when she was keeping watch, and despite having a hat on, she would soon start shivering, as her body heat escaped her in the freezing night.

A howl she hadn't heard in many months made her jerk upright. Quickly, if a bit fumblingly, she pulled down the scarf freeing her ears, tore off the mittens she wore over her half finger gloves, gripped her bow and an arrow and carefully moved around to find a better position from where she could shoot. Another howl pierced her ears and she absently wondered why the Wargs never seemed to go for stealth.

She saw movement on the frozen marshland and a cold chill spread from her belly at the sight. These were Wargs alone, without Orcs on them, but the pack was large. At a quick count she spotted about thirty animals in a loose formation moving towards the village. She turned to scan the rest of the plain surrounding the village, but saw nothing, which made sense, since only the marsh provided some cover, even if it wasn't much. Nocking an arrow, she waited.

Even if she knew where they were, the attack still came unexpectedly quick as the Wargs picked up speed and stormed into the village. Most simply aimed at the nearest barn where the farm animals were kept, but one group attacked the waiting company. Mari quickly wasted her arrows, slightly panicked when she realised that the Wargs coming towards her could reach her without too much effort even if she was on a roof.

When she was out of arrows she shoved the bow in its holster on her back and gripped her sword. The majority of the pack had moved past her and she quickly slipped off the roof, moving after them, only stopping to try and salvage some of her arrows. As she moved between the dead animals she saw how the other members of the company attacked the Wargs, slowly decimating their numbers.

The Warg howls increased in strength close to her and when her eyes darted around she spotted a group of Wargs circling Fili and Gisla, who were back to back with their swords ready.

"Fuck!" Mari growled and sheathed her sword, pulling out the bow again, nocking an arrow and taking aim. With grim satisfaction she saw the arrow hit its mark and the Warg go down. She let another arrow find its target.

A noise to her right had her whirling around, facing a Warg heading for her. It took her a split second to realise she couldn't shoot him because he would come to close, and she had no other weapon ready. Instinctively she dropped her bow and dove forward towards the animal as it took off from the ground, aiming for her. She rolled on the ground and the Warg missed her.

Scrambling to her feet she unsheathed her sword and turned to face the growling animal. It moved slowly towards her, doing its best to be intimidating, but she stood her ground, waiting for it. An arrow thudded into its side and sent it reeling, then falling with a yelp, and Mari immediately turned towards the spot where Fila and Gisla had been.

The cacophony increased and all she could see was Wargs jumping and attacking. Another arrow took down one of the swarming Wargs and she caught sight of Gisla, being picked up off the ground by a Warg.

Mari was scurrying into a run, pushing through the snow with all her strength, before she could form a coherent thought. In fact, there were no coherent thoughts in this very moment in her mind. Her sister in arms would die if she didn't act and she ran straight into the group of attacking Wargs to save her. Without a moment of hesitation she stabbed her sword into the chest of the Warg that had Gisla in its maw. It howled and dropped Gisla and Mari tore out her blade, moving in to slash at its throat.

Moving faster than anticipated, it turned its head and snapped after her, causing Mari to shuffle backwards, tripping on her own boots and falling heavily backwards into the snow. The lethally wounded Warg slowly stepped closer, growling deep in its throat. With a tight grip with both her hands, she aimed the sword towards the massive head just as it leapt forward.

It embedded itself in the Warg's skull, and the animal pushed her deep into the snow as it came crashing down, landing on its side, missing her – only just. Frantically she turned her head and saw Gisla's unmoving body just out of reach.

"Gisla!" Mari shouted and crawled over to her friend on all four in the snow, leaving her sword embedded in the skull of the Warg.

"No no no no!" Mari wailed and tears begun trailing down her cheeks as she saw the dark tell-tale signs of blood in the snow beneath the other woman.

She ripped off her gloves and begun examining Gisla, completely oblivious to what was happening around her. Quickly she came to the conclusion that she could do very little here in the snow and raised her eyes to try and find someone to help carry her unconscious friend. From nowhere Kili stumbled over to them and dropped to his knees on the other side of Gisla, and with wide eyes he stared at her still form in the snow.

"Kili, carry her to the nearest smial. She needs help. Quick!" Mari ordered, moving away and clambering to her feet. When she stood, her eyes darted around again, trying to find Fili, and her breath caught as she saw Fili face down in the snow behind Kili. Her eyes flickered back to Kili who had focus on Gisla, lifting her carefully off the snowy surface.

"I'll join you in a moment. Hurry!" she said brusquely as she pushed past him towards Fili.

"Please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead," she chanted to herself as she crossed over the snow, sinking down at his side. Her hand sought out the pulse point on his throat and to her great relief she felt the throb she had hoped to find. She heard someone coming their way in the snow and raised her eyes. Ori stopped short, watching Fili with dismay, then sunk down on one knee reaching out for his childhood friend.

"Can you take him and follow Kili?" she asked, turning her head to catch his back disappearing towards a smial nearby.

Ori glanced at her, nodded grimly and hoisted Fili up on his shoulder and strode away, following Kili. With a wince at the somewhat ungentle treatment Fili received, Mari followed.

* * *

Pain was the first sensation Fili experienced as he begun to surface from unconsciousness. It pierced and burned, nearly taking his breath away at first. Voices reached him from far away and he strained his ears to try and hear them better.

"I want to be here when he wakes up. Just in case." It was Mari and she sounded drawn.

"You're almost falling over. I'll wake you the moment he opens his eyes." Fili smiled inwardly as he recognised Kili's voice, calm and soft.

"I'll just check on him first, yeah?" Mari said and as he heard her move, he remembered with startling clarity what had happened; the Wargs, how they had been overrun, that he'd lost track of Gisla, and the moment one of the animals had sunk its teeth into him. He should be dead. Cold dread spread through his body and he forced his eyelids to cooperate and allow him to see his surroundings. As he moved his head searing pain shot through him and a soft moan escaped his mouth. In an instant he had both Mari and Kili within his field of vision.

"You're awake!" Kili exclaimed and grinned. Next to him Mari shot him a glance and a smirk which made Fili chuckle, which only added to the agony. His brother had still not outgrown his tendency to state the obvious.

"How's Gisla," he rasped out.

Mari turned to look to his right. "Next to you," she replied and he followed her line of sight as best he could, catching her still form just out of reach.

"She's sleeping but she'll be fine," Mari continued with a small smile.

Fili sighed and closed his eyes. "What happened?" he managed.

Kili described what he had seen, and Mari filled in details the Rangers had told them. Fili's eyes went to Mari.

"You saved Gisla," he whispered with a thick voice. "Thank you."

Mari's eyes was trained on her hands as she drew a ragged breath. "I did, though I completely forgot my own safety as I tried to reach you both. I was close to ending up like you twice. Your brother is rubbing off on me, I think."

Fili smirked and glanced at Kili, who watched Mari from under his furrowed eyebrows with his jaw set. She glanced up at Kili too.

"I'm fine," she said with steel in her voice. Kili's only response was a slight flare of his nostrils, and Fili knew what went through his brother's mind. After a short glaring contest, Mari turned her attention towards Fili again.

"The bad news is that we're stuck here. Even if we had toboggans I don't think it would be a great idea to take you on such a journey now. We've sent a message though so they will know back home that we're not coming and why."

"What is a toboggan?" Fili croaked.

"Think kayak that you can tow behind you while skiing. But we don't have one, so it doesn't matter." Mari glanced back at Kili who hadn't changed his expression one bit.

"Kayak?" Fili echoed, bringing Mari's attention back to him, in attempt to break the tension between her and Kili.

"O-kay," she said and pursed her lips. "I mean, the Elves has canoe like boats they can use to traverse water with. Have you seen those?"

"Can't say I have, no," Fili replied.

"Dinghies?" she asked. "Never mind. Think some elongated boat-like thing with a flat bottom, with cart shafts. Sort of."

"I think I have an idea." He smiled at her. "I'm tired," he sighed.

"You lost a lot of blood. I don't think you'll be able to go out again patrolling in a long while." Mari was absolutely sincere now, reaching for something outside his field of vision. She asked Kili to help him up slightly and then gave him a something salty-sweet and altogether vile beverage to drink. As he choked on it, she explained the content would help with both the pain and blood loss, and he drew a deep breath, steeling himself as he forced down the rest.

"Rest. We'll be here," she said as Kili lowered him down again, and Fili closed his eyes and sighed. Kili's well known hand took his, pressing it slightly and he relaxed and a moment later he sunk down in blessed blackness again.

* * *

As the sun sent its golden slanting rays through the threes, Ori, Kili and Mari stopped for the night and set up camp in Bindbole Woods. Mari's knees almost buckled as she stuck the skis into the snow, and she leaned on them for a while as she waited for the stars dancing before her eyes to fade, hoping she could trust her legs to carry her weight.

She was beginning to get really tired of this. Since just after they headed out after the Yule celebrations she had been doing more poorly than before. When she didn't have Gisla looking after her, constantly making certain she had enough to keep her going, life had quickly become much harder. She had refused to say anything though, partly because she knew it would mean the end of their patrolling and relative freedom, but also because spring _was_ coming. She knew it was. If she could simply hold out a few more weeks...

"Come here," Kili said as he came up next to her and gripped her arm. She let go of her skis, and he freed her from her backpack and threw it over where he had dropped his.

"Can you walk?" he asked and she nodded. As Kili led her towards where Ori was digging out the fire pit, nausea overcame her and she had to stop. For a moment she leaned on her knees, struggling with the urge to throw up. Suddenly she broke out in a stumbling sprint and when she reached a young tree she came to a stop, clutched the trunk and leaned forward, retching bile. There wasn't anything else in her stomach. Once she was done she sunk down on her knees and grabbed some snow, rubbing her face with it.

"Mari, are you sick?" Kili asked as he hunched down next to her, pushing her hair out of her face.

She shook her head wearily. "No, I don't think so. It just comes sometimes, mostly at the end of the day." When I feel very weak, she added silently. "I feel a bit better once I've thrown up."

"You've been tired a while. Are you eating your rations? Drinking enough?" he asked, concern etched on his face. For a moment she looked at him and realised the moment when she had to be honest with him had come. Just tired didn't cover it any more.

"I don't have much of an appetite, but I try to eat and drink properly." It was entirely true, even if it wasn't enough to keep her from developing malnutrition. "This diet is hard on me," she admitted and her eyes wandered over the forest around them.

"We've all but run out of cabbage and the spruce and pine trees are far and few in-between, so I don't really get enough vitamins. There's very little meat for obvious reasons, and while you're fine on such a diet, I'm not. I'm trying though, but it's harder after Gisla was injured. She helped me," Mari explained.

His eyes widened and his grip on her arm tightened. "Why haven't you said something?"

With a shrug she looked away, not willing to give the reason for her silence.

"We're quite hardy and can survive for a long time on a very meagre diet. If you can't, we must adjust to that." His alarm was clearly audible and he stepped in front of her to try and catch her eyes.

Tears begun making their way down her cheeks and he reached out, turning her face towards him. "You're exhausted," he stated and scooped her up.

"No please Kili," she pleaded. "I can walk. I really can."

"I have seen this stubbornness before, love. You'd rather crawl through the snow to the fire than accept aid when in this mood, but you need help, so please allow me," he replied and called out to Ori to drop what he was doing, and she finally gave in to the fatigue and leaned her head against his shoulder.

Ori and Kili ate in silence. They had managed to convince Mari to eat a little, but she almost fell asleep sitting up, and was promptly put to bed in the lean-to next to the fire.

"We must find a better place tomorrow. She has me very worried," Kili finally said, staring into the darkness.

"We should head home," Ori murmured, glancing sadly at her.

Kili nodded. "Probably. But in her state it'll take a while." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why haven't she said anything? Have you seen her throw up before?"

Ori shook his head. "Can't say I have. She's determined, Kili, and she's not fussy. I've been impressed with her so far, considering she's not a Dwarf. Maybe that was a mistake." There was a note of guilt in his voice.

"Did she seem tired to you during the Yule celebrations?" Kili asked and turned to look at Ori.

"She wasn't as spirited as last year, but neither were we." Ori looked down at his meal. "To be honest I think we were all too busy looking at Gisla and Fili to notice if anything was wrong with Mari."

Kili made a face. "I wasn't. She will not disclose when she's not doing well, and it's not beyond her to keep up appearances for my sake." He broke a piece from the crisp bread he was holding. The brawn they had was now in Mari's ration bag for her use only, and Ori had found a pine tree in the grove as he had been gathering firewood, from which he had cut twigs, strapping them to all three packs. He and Ori now only had bread and water they could get from thawing snow, but they would manage.

"We'll turn back home. We've not seen any of that filth for months now. Hopefully they're busy elsewhere," Ori said and smiled encouragingly.

Kili nodded and chewed slowly for a while as he was staring into the trees lit up by the fire. "We'll not come back if we go home."

"It doesn't matter to me." Ori kept his eyes steadily on Kili. "What concerns me is whether spring will come in time."

Slowly Kili swallowed, not tearing his eyes from the trees he was staring at. Ori pressed his lips together and let his eyes drop to his hands which held his ration of bread. "I'm sorry Kili. I did not mean-"

"There's no need to apologise," Kili cut him off and turned his head to look at Ori. "We can only hope her predictions is correct and that it's not as bad as it looks in this moment. We've been out these past six days, constantly on the move. She has shown tiredness before after patrols like these."

Their eyes locked and they gazed at each other during long moments. "We'll take our time and stop often. She'll be fine, Kili," Ori said quietly.

Kili nodded and looked down.

Once Ori had crept under the hides and blankets with Mari to catch some sleep, Kili sat alone, poking in the fire while mourning the lack of pipeweed, something he hadn't seen for a long time. His thoughts were constantly circling back to whether it was too late for Mari. Even if spring arrived the coming weeks, it wouldn't mean life immediately would get better. It was still many weeks until they'd see any real change in their food situation. There was a real risk that they could be forced to bury her as winter had been defeated, as they were about to put this behind them.

A faint light in the sky caught his attention and he stuck the stick in the snow and raised his gaze. The aurora begun meandering over the sky, slowly increasing in intensity until it nearly filled the sky. It seemed like a life time ago that he had been watching it with Mari outside Tuckborough.

Last time he had only seen it as some strange phenomenon which Mari had had explained, but only days later their life had changed when the first Orcs had entered the Shire. His face darkened and he glared at the aurora. He wasn't much for portents, but he had a nagging feeling this phenomenon was to be taken seriously, and that they should expect something to happen soon.

* * *

They set a slower pace the next day after making sure Mari had eaten properly and had two mugs of pine needle tea. She had indeed been looking better and had finally been open about her struggles, calming both Kili and Ori. Her situation was not great, but if they took care she'd live.

They headed for Oatbarton, and just after noon they reached the village. With a lighter heart Kili lead the way, eager to find shelter for the night. It was early, but some rest and warmth would do them all good, even if his and Ori's decision was made for Mari's sake. She in turn had accepted the decision to go home as well as their extra care, even if Kili could tell she was embarrassed by it.

As they headed down one of the paths in the village, they spotted a group of Rangers hurrying towards them and Kili's heart plummeted when he saw their familiar faces. Something had happened, that much he could tell. His jaw clenched. There would most likely be very little of the rest and calm he had hoped for.

"Greetings," Gethron said, with a slight nod, as they met. He seemed rushed and the grimness in his face was obvious. The captain's eyes went from Kili to Ori and finally to Mari, whom he smiled briefly towards. As his eyes went back to Kili, there was no mistaking the concern in them. They had not met Gethron in some time, and Kili guessed that all three of them looked worse for wear to the Ranger. In fact, Gethron looked quite hollow cheeked himself.

"It's good to see you again, my friend," Kili replied solemnly. Now was not the time for the more personal enquiries, he decided. "I suspect you couldn't be more alarmed if cinders from the forge had set something on fire," he continued.

Gethron nodded. "I'll not waste time on polite conversation, because we do indeed have a severe situation on our hands. A large band of Orcs has been spotted, marching through the North Moors as we speak. We are rallying everything the Shire has at the moment, hoping to intercept them and beat them."

"How large?" Kili frowned. This was what they all had been expected but as time had passed by after the Yule attack, it had seemed less and less likely to happen. Squaring his shoulders he met the captain's eyes.

"Difficult to say, but about 500. They are marching on foot, but they have scouts."

Ori and Mari glanced at each other and then met Kili's gaze. He faced Gethron. "What can we do?" he asked.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final storm.

In the evening, after removing to Greenfields with haste, a tense calm had settled over Ori, Kili, and Mari as they went over their weapons and equipment. Kili's eyes often wandered over the room and settled on Mari, only to avert them when she looked up. She knew that look, the slight frown that made him seem almost angry, even though she knew he wasn't. He was concerned, and she guessed he would ask her to stay behind.

As they lay curled up on their bedrolls together in a corner they had shielded off from the others, he finally spoke up.

"I know you don't wish to, but I'm asking you to stay here. There will be plenty of people. The Shire has an army, the Rangers have rallied and Ori, Uncle, and Dwalin will be there. There is no need for you to risk your life tomorrow."

"You know what I'm going to say," she sighed and briefly closed her eyes.

"I know. But you've not been doing well lately and it could cost your life to go into a fight feeling unwell," he replied and nuzzled her hair.

"I don't doubt that tomorrow will come with a victory over the Orcs. Whether I'm there or not doesn't make much of a difference; I know this. I'm going to battle for your sake, and for Thorin's. If this contingent is led by the wrong Orc, I know what will happen. Thorin will forget everything and try to take him on, and then you'll involve yourself, and then WHACK! You're both dead." She paused. "I admit I haven't been feeling splendidly lately, but I'm no invalid. I can do this. I need to do this."

His grip on her tightened. "Say this happens. What if you get in the way and die? I don't want to lose you." It was a simple statement, but she could feel the fear as he said it. She knew exactly how he felt.

"I know you don't. This is probably the safest confrontation we've seen so far with Orcs though. I made it through the others and this time I'm supposed to stand back and aim arrows at them. I'm not coming close to the actual battle." The simplicity of the plan was surprising to her as well. It would mean minimal effort on her side to participate, much less than her regular work demanded from her.

"I know it sounds a bit silly when you put it that way. . . " He didn't sound very convinced.

She wiggled around and faced him. "Listen. I'm not going to die. Neither are you because this is a precaution I'm taking. You're supposed to go off to reclaim a homeland soon and I'm here to make sure you get there and can live to nag your nephews about it in about thirty years' time. We're going to beat these Orcs and then spring will come. And Gisla and Fili will be as good as new once the snow is gone." The corners of her mouth curved slightly and her eyes were bright, and there was no doubt in her face. She spoke with certainty. Convincing certainty.

"You really believe this," Kili murmured.

"I do because I know I'm right," she replied confidently. Her eyes widened and she nudged him in his chest. "Oh, and it won't be us or the Rangers taking the glory during this battle, but the Shire folk."

He laughed quietly and kissed her. "I can't wait to see it."

"You will. I promise you." She grinned and kissed him back.

"What if you're wrong?" he asked, again serious as he carded his hand through her hair.

"I'm not. I know I'm not," she replied. "I don't say this to make you feel better. I say it because it's how it's supposed to happen."

He wrapped his arm around the small of her back, gathered her close and rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. She propped herself up on her left elbow, looking down at him. For a brief moment she reflected over the fact that he often positioned them like this.

"Kili, how come you almost always do this? I mean, pulling me along like you just did?" she asked and placed her right hand over his heart.

He frowned slightly, looking concerned again. "I didn't think you minded-"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. I'm just wondering."

To her astonishment he looked a bit sheepish and she could tell that if he could, he would have ducked his head and hid behind his hair as he always did when he was embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I don't mind at all, and I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," she quickly said.

"It's such a silly reason." He sighed. "You're so light and slender. You weigh next to nothing in comparison to one of us and you're so different. It's not that I fear I'll hurt you, not anymore; I simply like to be reminded that you are who you are."

With a slight smile she leaned down and kissed him. "That was not a silly reason. Completely logical – to me anyway," she said as she propped herself up on her elbow again. "I always wondered about that, because as you say, I look nothing like a Dwarf. I'm thin compared to Gisla, and she's supposed to be on the thin side. I certainly don't have a beard either. Not exactly beauty material by Dwarven standards."

"Do you think that Dwarves are ugly?" He raised an eyebrow at her and she sensed he was going somewhere with that question.

With a smile she replied, "No, I don't. Well, I'm sure there are ugly Dwarves, but as a people? Different yes, but ugly, no."

"Would you say there are those who are good-looking, even?" Her eyes gleamed as she saw the expectancy in his face. Even during a conversation about their differences, she could nearly forget that he was in fact a Dwarf and she was. . . something else. It was such a universal thing to wish for; he wanted to hear that she found him attractive.

"You know I do. You, Fili and Thorin are striking, and Gisla is beautiful."

"Just as you don't, I don't find people ugly simply because they're slightly different." He smiled. "It was the things that set you apart that caught my eye and I have to admit, I enjoyed gazing at you before I came to know you. Getting to know you was my downfall though."

"Downfall?" she echoed.

"Beauty is one thing, but it's not a pretty face that puts a fire in a Dwarf's heart. Your cleverness, generosity and strength did that."

Mari stared at him, and after a while Kili chuckled nervously. "I didn't expect you to become speechless."

"I'm trying to say something sensible, but it's not quite coming to me. Did you really mean that?" she blurted.

This time he laughed heartily. "How can you doubt it? Yes, of course I mean it."

She was quiet again for a few moments. "No, I don't doubt it. It's just that it's. . . " Her voice trailed off. "I can't match that kind of eloquence. I would feel silly if I tried." Her cheeks warmed and she glanced away as she chewed on her lower lip. "I can write a list. I'm great at lists."

He shifted his hands from the small of her back and nudged her down to his chest. "I read the letter you wrote to Uncle," he whispered in her ear. She pushed herself up again and looked both amused and surprised.

"I didn't mean to, but as I was rifling through some papers in search of some documents, I found it. I couldn't put it away without reading it," he continued apologetically.

"Then I suppose I don't need to make a list," she replied and a small smile curved her lips upwards.

"I hope you're not angry with me."

She let herself sink down and rested her head on his shoulder. "No, I'm not. Thorin might object to you reading his letters, but it was about your qualities as I see them, so I don't mind. I haven't changed my opinion."

"I'm glad to hear it." She could hear the smile in his voice and as he shifted slightly, wrapping his arms around her back, she smiled too.

Companionable silence fell, lasting for minutes.

"I doubt I would have found anyone among my own folk," he mused quietly.

Reluctantly she heaved herself up again to look at him. "Aside from the material side of things – not everyone cares about that – I don't see what could make you this negative about your prospects."

He shrugged lightly. "Few women to begin with." His eyes skittered away from hers and she studied him attentively.

"I could take offence here," she said, her tone sharp. His eyes snapped back to her, wide with astonishment. "What you're saying is that you'll have to make due with me."

"No! No, that's not what I meant at all!" he blurted. "If my own kind won't look my way, why would anyone else do it? You could have chosen anyone, but somehow you chose me, something I didn't expect would happen."

"No one looking-" She blanched. "What is this pity party? Kili, I understand you like to hear I like you just fine the way you are, and I do, but what's with the disparaging?"

Looking uncomfortable, he didn't reply right away. "I never grew into myself, so to speak. Not like Fili who had that big nose," Kili smiled fondly, "I was just arms and legs and. . . some would even call me scrawny, even if I have filled out, just not enough. I still look like I'm not fully grown, which, coincidentally, isn't so far from the truth. I'd not tell anyone if it weren't so obvious. Balin in particular tends to make note of it. Probably because I see him less than most of the others so he notices changes better than those who see me more often or every day."

She frowned. "What? What's so obvious?"

For a moment he looked hesitantly at her. "You haven't known me for very long. In comparison to the others that is."

With a slight wiggle of her head she agreed.

"My last growth spurt was but a few years ago, long after I officially came of age."

"Well," she said hesitantly, weighing her words, "Our males aren't done growing when we become official grown-ups. They will continue to at least fill out, and some grow taller too, for years afterwards."

"That's not how Dwarves develop." He gazed solemnly at her. "Forged from rocks we're slow to truly reach maturity, but not this slow. If it weren't so well documented when I was born, no one would believe me to be seventy-five. I look unfinished."

"You don't look unfinished to me." With a small smile she caressed his cheek. A real smile, if a bit on the guarded side, lit his face. "You may be a bit unusual, but it's not anything about you that really stands out. Not from my perspective. Within a population there are great variations, and in this lottery, you apparently got the particularly slow-development lot. There most likely have been others like you that you just don't know about."

They gazed at each other for a long while and then it dawned on Mari. "You're afraid there's something wrong with you. Seriously wrong." He instantly tensed up, and she winced as she saw the truth in his eyes. "I can't reassure you. I'm not a physician. I don't know much about Dwarven anatomy aside from the obvious." She sighed. "All I can say is that I doubt it. There is nothing else that points to something being actually wrong."

Lowering herself down, she kissed him. "And I wouldn't want you to be anyone but who you are."

He closed his eyes, still not relaxing.

"Do you feel well? As in, not in pain, not sick, you know, nothing feeling vaguely out-of-sorts, physically?" she asked.

"No. For the most part I'm feeling perfectly healthy." The stiffness gradually subsided.

"Then it's not likely you are unwell. You don't look unwell and if you feel fine. . . " She smiled. "Then there's no need to worry." The smile morphed into a frown. "You sure this isn't battle nerves?"

"I have my fears for tomorrow, true, but they don't concern myself."

She settled back down, closer now, with her arms holding him more tightly than before. "It'll turn out fine. You'll see."

With a deep sigh he adjusted his grip on her and they fell silent again. Mari was almost nodding off when Kili quietly murmured, "Promise me you'll be careful."

"F'course. M'always careful," she mumbled.

He sighed and kissed the crown of her head. "I love you," he whispered.

Her mouth twitched slightly. "Love you too," she replied.

* * *

Cold nipped her toes as she stood among the other archers, patiently waiting. It had been hours, and there could be hours more of waiting. No one knew. They had scouts out to warn them should there be an attack from behind, but so far there had been no such reports. Her eyes swept over the field. Most of the Hobbits were formed in deep blocks and armed with what really were half-pikes, four yards long, but considering their size they could hardly be expected to carry longer ones.

The plan was simple. The archers were supposed to rain swarms of arrows over the Orcs, and then the pike blocks were to push forward and try to push through the Orc horde, while smaller bands of the largest Hobbits found were to make certain that Orcs who tried to make it past the pikes were taken down. While the blocks pushed forward the archers were to move to new positions, and do what they could continue to contain the enemy.

Her quiver was full and on the ground in front of her she had arrows grouped by twenty, easily moveable. In the corner of her eye she noticed a movement and she turned her head slightly, catching Kili looking at her. They smiled at each other and then turned their attention forward again.

An hour later the call came. She immediately nocked an arrow, in sync with the other archers, and waited. The Orcs came marching over a slight rise, flanked by Warg scouts, a dark mass outlined against the sky. She concentrated on her breathing as she studied their ranks, wondering why they seemed to want to attack head-on.

"Keep an eye on those Wargs!" Inglor, who had been given command, warned, and a moment later the Wargs lunged forward towards their lines.

"Aim!" Inglor shouted, and the archers raised their bows, aiming their arrows upwards at the same angle. With the adrenaline surging through her body and the strain of holding what certainly wasn't a longbow, her arm started to shake. She clenched her teeth and kept her eyes trained on the blue sky as she listened to the howls coming closer.

"Now!" She released the arrow and immediately reached for another. The call came again and they let fly another set of arrows. Gripping the third arrow, she heard Inglor call out again.

"Hold your fire!" She nocked the arrow and turned her eyes to the field. Orcs and Wargs littered the blanket of snow between the Orc contingent and the Hobbit army. A couple had made it through the deadly rain and were now being slaughtered by the mobile groups closest to them. A triumphant smile tugged at her lips.

To her it was clear the Orcs hadn't expected to be met the way they were. Poor intel, apparently, she concluded as she waited, ready to take on the main contingent. The Orcs marched onwards and their own army waited calmly.

The Orcs suddenly cried out and broke into a charge towards their lines.

"Aim!" cried Inglor and their arrows were in an instant aimed at the correct angle. "Now!"

As she released the arrow something broke her concentration and she was spinning before she understood why. She gripped an arrow and nocked it at the same time as she shouted a warning, along with a couple of the Rangers who had reacted too. Over the flat area behind them, a large pack of Wargs with Orcs was charging right at their backs. Alarmed, she wondered what had happened to their own who were supposed to warn them about such attacks.

The blood was pumping in Mari's ears as she forced her breathing to stay even and her mind focussed. Inglor shouted out commands, trying to force one archer group's attention to what was happening on the actual battlefield. She didn't bother checking if he managed to accomplish it, though, since her group wasn't the one called on to shift attention back to the Orc charge heading for the pike blocks.

In the slightly chaotic situation many of the Wargs made it through the defence and Mari could only drop the now-useless bow and grip her sword in time before they were overrun. One Warg rider forced her to duck to avoid a scimitar and in the corner of her eye she realised he didn't simply charge on, but turned the Warg around, coming after her again.

She tried all her evasive tricks, but this one didn't fall for them, and very soon Mari found herself sluggishly moving with burning lungs. Panic rose as she realised that she wouldn't be able to keep ahead any longer, and she frantically tried to find an opening – anything she could use to her advantage. The Orc grinned at her and her heart sank as she realised that he knew very well she was at her limit.

She stopped dead in her tracks and the Orc held the Warg back. For a brief moment they stared at each other, she heavily panting while he grinned in triumph.

"Come and get me then, you fucking wanker!" she shouted at him, and everything slowed. She saw the minute shift in the Orc's face, the grin turn into something more sinister and how he urged the Warg forward. Sounds seemed oddly distorted and far away, as they didn't concern her any more. She didn't think, but simply waited. Either she would die here and now, or she'd finally get that opening she had been looking for.

She could tell the Orc was confident now, clearly expecting victory, and the realisation was mixed with the sensation of cold sweat, numb toes, the weight of the sword in her hand, and the cold air making her eyes water forcing her to blink away the tears. For a moment she nearly lost patience with how slow things were moving and she almost lunged forward, but she managed to stay rooted at the spot, waiting.

Time sped up and the Warg was upon her and her sword was suddenly firmly planted in the Orc's belly, running him through as it was ripped from her hand. The Warg turned and charged at her and she gripped her knives. But the animal never reached its target and her knives remained unused. An arrow found it first, and in the next moment a familiar, dark-haired, fur-clad figure made certain it was sent to the Warg afterlife with a slash cutting the throat halfway open.

She stared at the scene before her for a moment, meeting Thorin's eyes as he turned from the slain Warg. Then she sank down on her knees, unable to keep herself upright any more. Letting go of her knives she lost balance and landed on her hands. Her head was spinning and the smell of blood, excrement, and death had her coughing and spitting in an attempt to keep herself from throwing up.

* * *

At the shouts warning of an ambush, Kili turned and sent an arrow flying, before his group was ordered back to the battlefield. Reluctantly he did so, but he kept trying to spy Mari in the commotion behind them. As the call came to move to new positions, he turned around and searched frantically after her with his eyes. When she came into view his blood ran cold. She was being chased and he could tell it would soon be over. Her movements were not the usual controlled and measured ones, but tired, as if she were moving with difficulty. The effect of the starvation clearly was visible.

She suddenly stopped and stood there, unmoving, and Kili gasped as he saw the Orc lining up for an attack, grinning confidently. He broke into a run but when he got a clear view again the Orc was already upon her. To his immense relief she somehow managed to run him through with her sword. As it was ripped from her hands he cursed loudly and skidded to a halt reaching for another arrow. When he pulled back the bow string he saw his uncle charge towards the Warg, and Kili let the arrow go, certain he wouldn't miss his target. This Warg would be dead twice over before it came near Mari.

His and Thorin's eyes locked for a few seconds as he came rushing and with a slight nod Thorin turned his attention towards the ongoing battle around them. Kili dove down next to Mari. Slinging her arm over his shoulders, he pulled her up, and when she could convince her knees not to buckle, he got her out of the immediate danger before he sat her down.

On the battlefield the blocks with pikes were moving and met the Orcs head on, pushing and pushing and pushing. Hobbits were smaller than Orcs, but when armed with pikes and in deep formation, they were stronger than the somewhat shaken Orcs, who tried to hack their way through the pikes. Slowly the Orcs were losing ground, being pushed backwards by the sheer mass of people. Anyone who tried to slip past the blocks to wreak havoc either were taken down by the mobile groups or shot down, sniper-style, by the archers, back in full force now that the ambush attempt had been quenched.

The Orcs were losing.

Frantically, the Orc general leading this disaster cursed and tried to urge his men forward. But in his anger he made the poor judgement to move to the flank. One of the mobile groups charged towards him and in the commotion that ensued, one of the Hobbits moved up and beheaded the Orc general. Everyone seemed to pause for a second, as the large Orc fell.

Kili stared in disbelief as the enemy line failed and panic spread in their ranks. The Hobbits cried and hurled themselves forward, charging the fleeing Orcs. The Rangers joined the Hobbits, raining arrows over the fleeing Orcs, decimating their numbers. In the general chaos they trampled their own, fell over dead and still-alive fellow Orcs, and the mass of Hobbits swarmed over them, hacking and spearing with a frenzy he could never have imagined. Those few who managed to escape, heading north, were, without mercy, hunted down by the Rangers.

"What did I tell you?" Mari rasped next to him as the slaughter was almost over. "The Hobbits would win the day." As he turned towards her she grinned. "And we're all alive."

"Barely," he scowled.

"I admit I didn't have much of a plan for that Warg, but I had my knives ready at least." She shrugged and slowly climbed to her feet, refusing help which both amused and infuriated him. Once she stood he grabbed hold of her and pulled her to him, not accepting any objection on her part.

"That was too close," he growled.

"It's always too close. If it's any comfort I didn't plan it. I don't know why that Orc singled me out." Her voice was slightly muffled as she leaned her head against his parka.

"You being significantly smaller than the rest?" Kili suggested and eased his grip somewhat.

She nodded. "Probably, yeah." Slowly she wormed her way out of his embrace and caught his hand. "Come on. Let's find the others and see how they're doing." Backing towards the battlefield, she tugged him with her, and when he reluctantly followed, she turned forward, her eyes searching for Ori, Thorin and Dwalin.

The aftermath was a messy affair but, due to their numbers, it was dealt with fairly swiftly. For three days the pyres burned, and on the fourth day after the battle the trio turned back home. They left alone, without Thorin and the rest of the rallied people from the south. It had finally become painfully clear that Mari couldn't take more. She had to go home.

The day after they left Greenfields, heading home, Mari, who was leading the way for once, stopped in her tracks and looked up at the uncharacteristically hazy sky. The wind sweeping over her face was mild, warm even, like a föhn wind, coming from the south.

"Do you feel that?" she called out and grinned.

"It's warm!" Ori exclaimed behind her.

She turned to look at Ori and Kili as her smile widened. "We've better hurry or we won't make it over the Water in time. My bet is that the bridge will fall victim to the spring flood this year!"

They trudged on and Mari pushed as hard as she could in snow quickly turning into slush, making their journey hard on them and their feet wet and ice-cold. They were, however, heartened by the prospect of spring. They made it to the Water by the evening three days later, passing the bridge without incident. They stayed at the Green Dragon, not really ready to go the last few miles to Tuckborough in the dark.

That night loud gunshot-like bangs woke them up and by the light of the moon they watched the ice break up on the Water. Spring had finally come to the Shire.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Careful social manoeuvring.

The new Thain, Isengrim Took, sat studying the woman before him. He had not foreseen this visit, partly because he hadn't paid much attention to what Viola had told him about this woman and her strange ways. He had seen her as an odd little thing, certainly not without qualities, but not someone he kept a particular eye on. She had not been around much in the neighbourhood the past year either. Always out with those Dwarves and Rangers, she'd been.

But now she sat there, dressed appropriately in a dress verging on a summer garment of light blue cotton. If one didn't look below the hem one could almost mistake her for a Hobbit, he mused. Her ears were too small and rounded, but with her hair flowing around her face, they were hidden. Then there were those braids of course. An elaborate affair with beads, and the rumour had it that the dark-haired Dwarf lad was behind that particular detail. Considering the dance scandal a year earlier, he was pleased to see that the association seemed to be of a serious nature.

His attention snapped back to her and he chided himself for his drifting mind. The girl was there on an errand and he should listen, not get lost in his own train of thought. He concentrated on her brown eyes, which she had aimed at him.

"While I could move back in with your brother's family, I would prefer to move to a place of my own. I suspect people would feel a bit offended if I chose to move back with a Shire family." Her eyes dipped to her hands resting in her lap.

"I really care about them all, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I want to keep good relations with everyone."

Isengrim nodded. It was wise reasoning and he couldn't deny that, as a grown woman without living parents, she had a right to live on her own, if that was her choosing. In any normal case she would have inherited her family home and this wouldn't have landed on his plate, but as her situation was as it was, it did.

Luckily for this young woman, the very long winter had opened opportunities that otherwise wouldn't exist, and Shire folk were practical people. From what he'd heard, so was this lass.

"Morbid as it is, we have had a few deaths before spring finally came. Winter took its toll, in particular among the elderly." He sighed and rose. "Miss Mari, I think we should make a visit."

* * *

The smial was one of the smaller ones, if not tiny, and nothing out of the ordinary. It was a bit on the worn side, but with everything in working order. The garden outside probably would be an amazing sight later in summer – of the wilder kind, since the previous occupant apparently hadn't been much of a perfectionist. She smiled as she touched the yellow door, in the perfect sunflower yellow shade. It needed a lick of paint, but the door itself was sturdy.

Stepping inside, she was greeted by a small but well-planned hallway. To her left were a couple of modest bedrooms and to her right she found the kitchen and parlour. Pushed further into the hill were storage and a narrow study, which had a skylight in stained glass, letting in light. The bathroom she found logically tucked away beyond the kitchen. The place was unfurnished, as the family had divided the belongings between them. It was just the matter of who would live there that remained.

"It has been something of a headache. Smials should not be abandoned, but this one has not been lived in for quite some time," Isengrim said and his voice echoed slightly. "Old Everard passed away last summer. Or when it should have been summer."

She nodded and looked out the kitchen window. On impulse she opened it. Down the hill she saw the forge and though she tried, she couldn't quite contain her smile.

"I'd be happy to take it on, if no one objects to it," she said and turned back towards Isengrim.

He nodded. "No, I doubt anyone will. You have become something of a legend these past months, and the Took family are quite proud that they have a claim on you." A smile spread over his face and he watched her jovially.

Mari laughed happily. "I hope I don't have to pick up that bow again anytime soon. Not for that purpose anyway."

"So do I, so do I," he agreed.

"Now, I have no idea how this works. Do I rent it or do I buy it? I don't have a fortune, obviously, and I haven't seen any banking systems around here. I might not be eligible for a loan though. But if I get my old job back at the Green Dragon, perhaps. . . "

The Thain put his hand on her shoulder and patted her awkwardly. "No need to worry about that, my dear. You need a home and we can offer one for you."

She gaped. "But, this is a house. A family home, even if it's small. Worth a lot."

"And as the Thain and the head of the Took clan, I can make decisions such as this. Move in and make it your home." He smiled at her. "The smial needs people living in it."

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what to say. You're just so generous," she managed with eyes brimming with tears. The Thain cleared his throat and looked away. He had never been very good at dealing with emotions getting out of hand, and he let her go and stepped away as he nodded.

"It's my pleasure," he said and watched Mari spin around taking it all in once more. He could practically see the plans forming in her mind. Yes, the smial had a found a good inhabitant, he decided.

* * *

She sat for a long while outside the smial in the sun and looked at everything around her. The windows and the door were flung open, airing the place thoroughly, as she made plans for her new home. A shout caught her attention and she turned her head in the direction of the voice. Prim and Marge were coming up the path, and they waved at her as she saw them.

"Mother told us!" Prim exclaimed as they came up to the gate. It flew open letting the young women in and as Mari stood Prim gave her a hug, followed by Marge. They all turned to look at the smial.

"It's empty though," Marge said. "You'll need a lot of things."

"If we start with a bed and a few things in the kitchen, it'll be fine. Eventually I may even put up curtains. It's a pity there's no IKEA around, though, because that would have been an immense help."

Prim and Marge gave her incredulous looks and she smiled at them. "It's a big place back home where you can buy everything you need to set up a home," she explained.

"But I need to go back to Mr. Rumble and ask if he can take me back. I don't have a lot of money to pay for what I need."

The two women shook their heads. "But Mari, we'll all be happy to help!" Prim said.

"I'm sure you would." Mari shook her head. "I'm not turning it down, mind you. I need help to at least be able to move in, but I want to get some things myself."

"Of course. Now, how about a proper spring cleaning?" Prim said enthusiastically.

Marge and Mari laughed. "Perhaps that can wait until tomorrow morning?" Mari asked.

"Tomorrow after breakfast. Not a second later!" Marge exclaimed.

"I have never met anyone so enthusiastic about cleaning in my life," Mari laughed.

* * *

Kili could tell something was brewing. Ever since they had come back home things had been in limbo. They lived in adjacent rooms, but they could just as well have lived in two different homes. The courtship was still not talked about and with his uncle gone back to his halls in the Blue Mountains, he didn't think there was much point in pressing matters, either. Quite soon Mari got the look in her eyes he had seen many times before, when her eyes sought the horizon and her emotions were firmly locked inside.

He would have to go to Ered Luin, he decided. This could not continue. It had to be brought to a decision, either pushing the others to accept things as they were, or they would have to solve it some other way. There were options, but he feared it meant they'd have to politely leave on an extended journey.

A knock on the door frame caught his attention.

"So here you are," Mari said lightly as she stepped into his room.

He turned and greeted her with a smile. "Here I am." He uncharacteristically pulled her down in his lap and kissed her. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You smell of spring," he said with his nose in her hair.

"And you are acting out of character. Not that I mind." She studied him out of the corner of her eye.

He sighed. "I have been thinking," he began and turned his attention to her face. "This cannot go on. I have decided to go to Ered Luin and bring this to a conclusion."

She nodded. "Or we could just act as if the rules apply to us just as anyone else."

"I'd still have to find a home, and without the backing of my family, it would be a difficult task." He shook his head and his mind went through all the things he would need, and the cost. He made a living, but not nearly enough to pay the cost of setting up a home. That would have to come out of the family fortune.

Mari pursed her lips as she saw the faraway look in his eyes and the slight furrow of his brow. She could tell he was doing the calculations in his head. "It's a good thing then that I have some services to call on from the Took clan. In particular, the Thain's family," she said breezily.

Kili was yanked out of his reverie and stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"I went to see the Thain today. I, too, have come to find this situation a bit hard to deal with. I have these beads in my hair for all to see, but everyone is pretending they don't exist. And you are being a good Dwarf, not bending the rules in your mother's home. Aside from now, that is." She sighed and leaned her forehead against his.

"But I can't go on like this. Moving back to Isembard and Viola isn't an option either because I know how everyone would take that. I need to get away from people and the associated dependence, so I paid a desperate visit to the Thain with the plea to help me out. And he did. Very generously too." She straightened and raised her hand, tracing her fingers over his brow and down his cheek.

"I have been given a smial and I plan on moving in very soon. Tomorrow Prim and Marge are going to help me clean the place, and after that I suspect a cart or two with some furniture and other useful things may show up. The rumour is spreading like wildfire as we speak, so I actually expect people to be too generous."

Kili stared at her. "You're moving out," he said flatly.

"I am." His eyes slid over to the fire as he stiffened, making Mari frown. "What now?" she asked.

"You're leaving," he replied flatly.

"I think we're having a bit of a culture clash here," she said and gently nudged him to look back at her.

"You may recall that I had my own place to live in before I ended up here. I know that's not how you do things, and Hobbit women almost only live on their own if they have inherited their family home after the parents are gone. It's just that I'll start climbing the walls soon. I need to do something about that, for everyone's sake, because I can become a bit brusque if I feel cornered." She brushed his hair behind one of his ears and traced the outline of it.

"I'm not breaking up with you. In fact, we could treat this as an opportunity to see if people have softened." She smiled. "Move with me."

He stared at her. "We can't do that!" he exclaimed.

"Listen. If you announce that you have found a home this evening, you know what that means. Everyone in this house knows what that means."

Kili looked stunned. "What if they say no? And Uncle. . . he's in Ered Luin!"

"Then we'll find another way."

"I can't just. . . move. I need their approval or I'll cause a scandal! I'll make enemies out of my family!" His desperation rose by the second, until Mari put her lips over his.

"I'm not demanding you pack things up if they still protest. I'm just saying that we should inform everyone and see what they say. We could be in luck."

He stared at her for long moments with emotions parading across his face. She slipped out of his lap and stood, tugging his hand. "Come on. Let's do this. We have nothing to lose."

The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Kili's words had frozen the supper table, it seemed. Mari picked up her flagon and drank some of her ale and put it down – apparently the only one capable of functioning at the table in that very moment.

"Are ye out of yer mind?" Dwalin ground out.

She arched her eyebrows at him.

"She's my One. What else can I do?" Kili asked, surprisingly calm.

"She's still not a Dwarf!" Dwalin raised his voice a fraction.

"Well hello Mr. Obvious," she mumbled down in her ale as she raised it to her lips again. Dwalin threw her a glare which she met with her chin raised in defiance.

"I braided her hair a year ago. At some point things must change," Kili said with a steely voice. Mari glanced at him. He often pointed out how he lacked the authority Thorn and Fili had, but she could tell he was cut from the same piece of cloth in this very moment. There was a lot of Thorin in the way he held himself and spoke. Dwalin however, was not having any of it, which she had to admit didn't come as a surprise either. She had seen him lock horns with Thorin too, on occasion, after all.

"That braid isn't worth anything to the Longbeards in the Blue Mountains," he growled and the look he levelled at Kili would have shaken a lesser man. Kili met it head on, not budging even a fraction.

"It is to me, even if it's not for others. And in the end, it's my choice and I'm prepared to take it as far as I must." He turned his eyes to Dis, who sat quietly listening to the exchange. Their eyes locked and then Dis nodded and turned to look at Dwalin, who scowled and glared at the fire. Mari slowly rose from the table, gaining everyone's attention. Kili reached out and caught her hand and though he did it unhurriedly, she could tell it was a plea for support.

"I think I'll stay the night with Gisla and Fili," she said quietly. "Let you discuss this properly without me holding you back." She looked down at Kili and met his stormy eyes, smiled warmly, and leaned down and kissed him for the first time openly in front of everyone.

"See you tomorrow, yeah?" she said softly and squeezed his hand. He nodded, and she let his hand go and left.

* * *

Just after luncheon the path outside the smial was crowded with people and carts. Mari stood in the garden simply staring at the commotion. The garden gate had been propped up and people moved back and forth, carrying furniture, boxes, and trunks into the smial.

In the early morning hours, a substantial part of the womenfolk in the immediate Thain family had showed up and had begun cleaning with such gusto, that Mari had never seen anything like it. By the time the first cart came scrambling up the hill, the place shone. Isembard had painted the door and was looking over the windows, having begun with the kitchen ones.

"They will be finished in a few days," he declared as she watched him lift them off the hinges, begin to scrape off the paint, and remove the putty.

She glanced towards the forge, as she had done so many times during the day, and spotted Kili making his way up the hill, exchanging a few words here and there with people, looking slightly embarrassed, but with a smile on his face.

"What is this?" he asked as he came up to her and turned around to look at the scene.

"I told you about it yesterday," she smiled.

"But this. . . I never expected. . . " His voice tapered off.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I feared this would happen. I mean, the entire Tuckborough, Tuckbank, and selected parts of Hobbiton – the Took part – seems to have decided to donate things they decided they don't need."

He sighed and she craned her neck to catch his eyes. When he didn't acknowledge her she nudged him carefully. "So, what's happening?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said and turned to look at her. "The only one who can solve this is my uncle. Though mother in theory could decide, she doesn't wish to undermine him. Dwalin made a long speech about politics and how things would have been different if Erebor were won back." He paused and watched a number of distant cousins to the Isembard family as they carried various pieces of wood past them with elaborate carvings. A large mattress came behind.

"What _is_ that?" Kili asked with arched eyebrows.

Mari followed his gaze. "Now, that would be a large four poster bed which had to be picked apart to be transported here. I heard of it earlier. Fit for a queen," she grinned and leaned her head against his shoulder again, sneaking her arm around his waist.

"It's perfectly fine with me to live here officially on my own. You can come and go as you want. I don't mind." She raised her head and smiled widely at him.

Kili shook his head. "I'd ruin your reputation."

Mari shrugged. "It's not like it'd come as a shock to people," she replied and tugged at a braid. "With a bit of careful gossiping, it can be a well-known fact why we're stuck where we are without turning people against anyone."

"It's also perfectly acceptable to come and visit for breakfast and stay until well after supper," Prim added as she planted herself next to Mari and leaned in conspiratorially. "And many are those who have been spotted just before dawn suspiciously close to their loved one's home," she whispered. She straightened and held out a basket at them.

"Speaking of food, I brought some brawn and eggs for you." She opened the basket showing it off. "And some nettle soup!"

Mari laughed. "I really hope we'll see some new greens soon, because nettle soup is getting on my nerves."

"Well, in a month we'll harvest the first strawberries! And raspberries will come soon after that. Radishes, of course. And potatoes! They are almost ready for harvest – just a couple of weeks from now! It's not far away." Prim smiled. "Have you eaten luncheon yet?" she continued. Mari shook her head. "Well then. Let's have some!" Prim jauntily twirled towards the entrance and set off, leading the way. Kili darted a look at Mari who glanced back with a small smile.

"Come on. You haven't seen it yet," she said and gripped his arm. With a small sigh he nodded and allowed her to link her arm with his, before they slowly followed Prim.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans for the future start taking shape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm not shocking you too much now - posting this frequently! We are almost at the end - for now. I don't know if I can get the last chapter up before I catch the third and last Hobbit film myself, which will happen December 9th, but my beta is working on it. If not, see you on the other side. *deep breath*
> 
> There will be a sequel to this story, named Unravel, which I hope I'll be able to begin posting on before the end of the year. It's longer than this one, an estimated 120 000 words, though considering this one has grown with almost 40 000 words over time, it may become longer. So far it's at just over 100 000 words.
> 
> There is a dragon in a mountain...

The spring evening was rainy and dark but Mari's smial was cosy and warm. Unlike most days, only Gisla was visiting. Ori was at the forge, and Fili and Kili had gone to Bree on forge business. There was a dance that evening in the Assembly Rooms which Prim and Marge had chosen to go to, but Mari and Gisla had decided to stay at home, making a night out of it with food, ale, long discussions and Gisla staying the night. The young Dwarf was mostly recovered even if she still was stiff and couldn't yet swing her weapons the way she had before the Warg had nearly killed her.

"Fitting weather for a visit to Bree," Mari mused and sank down in a chair by the fire in parlour. It was lined with a sheep's skin and had a soft cushion she shuffled around, so she could sit even more comfortably.

Gisla chuckled as she stoked the fire. "Poor lads. They may pretend to not be bothered by it, but oh, they are. Fili hates this kind of weather. 'Weather that proves we're not made for living above ground', he calls it."

Mari glanced over at her friend who leaned back in the chair next to her. "What's Ered Luin like?" she asked.

With a smile Gisla replied, "Well, it's home." She sobered as she continued. "The settlements are vast and fortress-like, built deep into the mountain range. Richer than the Iron Hills in the east, because in the Blue Mountains there are precious metals, just as in Khazad Dûm and the Lonely Mountain. Imagine vast halls with octagonal pillars, carved with ornaments, lit with the blue light from the mountain itself! There are veins of translucent rock, glowing blue, running through the mountains, and it has been used to light the settlements."

Gisla paused, picked up a stone from a pouch on her belt, and held it up for Mari to see. It was a stone with a bluish milky light radiating from it. Mari gaped and reached out to touch it, and Gisla dropped it in her hand.

"And it's riddled with political intrigues. Pity. I would have liked to have seen it, but I suspect it's best for me to stay out of there," Mari said as she slowly turned the stone over in her hand. It hummed slightly against her palm and she frowned at it. "It's humming," she said and looked up at Gisla.

"You feel that?" Gisla's eyebrows disappeared under her bangs.

"Should I?" Mari's eyes went back to the rock in her hand.

"To be honest, I don't know. Men usually aren't let inside the mountain, so I suppose they have never been exposed to it before. But we feel it. It's like it's the soul of the mountain." Gisla smiled. "I'm glad you can feel it too."

Mari held out the rock to Gisla, who took it and put it back into her pouch.

"If Dis hadn't come to the conclusion to stay in the Shire, my mother would have warned her off. Maybe she did too; I must confess I don't know. Her reasons for going there as she married were logical and our family have managed to stay out of the worst of it despite being close to the Durins." She smiled slightly.

"Ugh. Politics. You know, if it all ends well, you do know what we'll have to face, right?" Mari asked and propped her feet up on the hamper, warming the soles of her feet on the fire.

Gisla nodded. "Politics."

"Well, maybe I can stay out of it. Mostly. If I'm not accepted I won't have to deal with it," Mari mused.

Gisla turned her head and gave her friend a glare. "That's not an option." She raised her hand and jabbed her index finger in air at Mari. "If you're not in Erebor, neither will Kili be. That will hurt Fili."

"Or I could just stay comfortably at arm's length in Dale. Kili could still be second heir and support his brother." Mari wiggled her toes and smiled.

"This is no laughing matter!" Gisla sat straight in her chair, staring at Mari, gripping the arm rests with white knuckles.

"I'm not laughing!" Mari protested. "I'm just suggesting that all is not lost if people keep opposing us once we're there." Mari sank deeper into the chair. "It's not a bad solution, you have to admit."

"It's not the preferred solution," Gisla groused. "What if you were to have children? Everyone would know who their father would be, but they would be unprotected and cut off from half their heritage. And you'd be looked at as. . . " She winced. "Men are more sensitive to unmarried women with children."

"We don't know if that's a possibility even. And who knows? If that should happen, maybe that would sway the right people. Sometimes the cart comes before the horse." Mari glanced at her friend. "And we tend to be a bit unorthodox."

The wind hurled rain at the window panes and both women turned to glance at the foul weather. Wiggling her toes again, Mari changed the subject. "So when do you become adults then?"

Gisla turned back to give Mari a long look. "At sixty-five," she replied and sank back in the chair.

"I know you keep track of your age, but you don't celebrate birthdays. . . Or is that a secret?"

"It's usually a simple commemoration. Those closest to you acknowledge it in some simple manner; a few words, perhaps a small gift. Food may be a bit more festive."

"I'm guessing you know the birthdays of the others." Mari followed the pattern on the chair she sat in with her fingers.

"I do."

Mari looked vaguely hurt, making Gisla's brow furrow. "I don't know yours," Gisla pointed out mildly. "Do you celebrate birthdays?"

"Yeah, we do. It differs, depending from where you come, but I grew up with breakfast containing a small cake with a candle brought to my bed. Mum singing. Presents. We weren't well off so it wasn't anything expensive, but smaller things I had wished for." Mari smiled sadly.

Gisla looked horrified. "And you never told us?"

Straightening her back slightly, Mari shrugged. "The last couple of years before I came here, I didn't celebrate it much. Mum called. That's about it. And here. . . We were out in the woods when I turned twenty-five."

"Twenty-five. . . " Gisla echoed, looking chagrined.

"I'll have you know I became an adult at eighteen." Mari's voice was firm.

Gisla drew a deep breath. "Aulë help me. I'll never understand how you have managed to gain the kind of thinking you have in such a short time. You learn so quickly." Gisla smiled. "We are steady and meticulous, like the rock we love so much, taking our time. You're like wind or water, so quick to adapt and learn, always finding a path forward."

"I could give my right leg for some insight into your biology, in particular how your brains are wired," Mari smirked, but grew serious again as she saw Gisla's horrified look. "It's possible to look at such things from the outside where I come from," she hurried to explain.

"See? The glimpses we get from your world sometimes. . . You seem so much older to us than what your years imply."

Mari shrugged, feeling a slight embarrassment. "Ale?" she asked instead.

"Yes, thank you." Gisla grinned.

Mari brought out the jug of the strong ale she had in the cool pantry as well as two ceramic mugs, and carried them to the parlour.

"Fili's birthday is next week. Kili's is at Midsummer, Ori turns eighty-one at _Onríptíd_ , and I was born at _Hîmfyllo_." Gisla paused and watched Mari set down the mugs and ale on the table next to them. "And if we were out in the woods during your birthday. . . summer? Autumn?"

"About the same time as you," Mari confirmed.

"Where ever we are in autumn, we will celebrate your day," Gisla promised with a smile, reached out and poured herself a mug. "You haven't told me yet; why did you convince the Thain you needed a place to live? Was it for Kili's sake?"

"More like I needed to get out of everyone's hair." Mari held out her mug and Gisla filled it up too.

"No other reason?" Gisla asked without looking up as she set down the jug.

"I can hope for miracles, can't I?" She fiddled a bit with the edge of her tunic.

"It's still somewhat. . . I never pictured myself much as the marrying type. I mean, people do where I'm from, but it's because it's romantic. They don't have to do it. The fact that people have to here is one of the things I'm having the hardest time reconciling with."

"You are certain you are not an Elf?" Gisla asked lightly and tasted the ale.

Mari glanced at her friend and smirked. "Very mortal, no pointy ears, too small – no, not as far as I have noticed. But yeah, I see what you mean." She turned her eyes to the view through the parlour windows and snuggled into the chair as she took a mouthful of the brown liquid.

"Aside from my personal opinions, I have to admit, it's not exactly something I focus on either. There are other things that have my attention. Things I think are much more important, to be honest."

"What about the plans Fili and Kili have to make the usual journey south?" Gisla looked up and studied her friend.

"We've not discussed it and whatever he does, that's up to him. I have my own decisions to make which probably takes me elsewhere too. I must move on with things." Mari took another swig at the ale.

Gisla looked alarmed and straightened in her chair. "That seems to me like you're indeed walking away."

With a thump, Mari let her head fall back against the backrest of her chair, looking pained. "I can't sit here in the Shire as time slips by, _hoping_ things will turn out in a particular way. There are things I can do, and I must do them, but it means I must leave the Shire."

As the words left her lips, she hunched slightly. She had known all along she'd have to leave but it wasn't until she said the words, that it became obvious what she had to do. She turned her head to look at Gisla. "If I don't do this, I know very well what would happen, and it's an outcome none of us would wish to see. Sometimes you have to do things that take you away for a while, to keep what you have."

Gisla looked sheepish. "I apologise for jumping to conclusions. And you'll always have Kili whatever you decide to do."

Mari sighed. "Always may be a bit of a stretch, as you know." Rolling the hem between her fingers absently she continued, "I don't want to put any pressure on him to choose between me and Fili, so I haven't said anything about my leaving yet. I'm waiting for them to decide and then I'll talk to Kili about my plans. He deserves to know after all."

"Mari, you have to cease your secrecy towards him – and us," Gisla said gravely. "Let us in. We are all willing to help if we can, and I can assure you, Kili would not feel like you'd force him to choose between you and his brother. Neither would Fili. There's no need for you to carry that weight all on your own."

Staring down into the mug, Mari considered Gisla's words. This was one of the reasons she hadn't said anything to anyone. If talking about a possible future contaminated a time line, what would the active assistance of some of the involved mean? She could screw this up in a royal fashion, and she was afraid. On the other hand, she was grateful for their eagerness to be there for her. She wasn't just afraid she would make a mess, but she was also afraid of the world outside the Shire. There were many dangers lurking out there.

"I, for one, would move mountains to keep Fili safe." Gisla's voice was soft.

Mari snorted. "That would gain too much attention." She looked up at her Gisla. "This is in no way easy. I must act with caution."

"Reasonable." Gisla nodded and raised the mug to her lips. As she had swallowed down a couple of mouthfuls, she tilted her head slightly and peered at Mari.

"Every year they set out towards the south, Fili and Kili. It would seem odd if they didn't, now when everything is back to normal, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose so," Mari agreed.

"Why don't you join the caravan? It would be the perfect way of disguising yourself. No one would look twice at what's a common occurrence. This would be the best opportunity to leave unnoticed."

"The plan was to wait until Thorin comes back from the Blue Mountains."

"That may take a while. Balin is an accomplished administrator but people need to feel that their king is there. You could do what Fili and Kili have for so long, go to Ered Luin, and head out with a caravan going south. You'll be able both to meet with Thorin and to leave for wherever you need to go without drawing any attention to yourself."

For a moment Mari's mask fell and all her doubt and resignation was visible in her face. Gisla reached out her hand, squeezing her arm. "No matter what's in store for you, you don't have to face it alone. As long as I can draw breath I'll be here for you."

"Thank you." The smile on Mari's lips was sad. "I think I better stay away from the Blue Mountains though. I paid attention to what Dwalin said and I know he wouldn't lie."

Gisla nodded and looked sad too. "And what about the rest of the plan? Heading south with the caravan?"

"That's. . . not a bad idea. I need to leave it somewhere in Rohan though."

"Kili won't let you head off on your own, you know." Mari pressed her lips together. "I must admit I'm not enthusiastic about letting you go either. I know Fili and Ori will feel the same way."

"They should be here next spring." Mari was insistent now.

"And if they aren't?"

"I don't want to change things too much. I'm hesitant about bringing Kili, though I don't think it can be avoided. If I allow Fili and Ori to come as well there's no telling what that changes. It's also grabbing more attention."

"Where are you going?"

"Lorien. Mirkwood. Esgaroth. The Iron Hills."

"You're going to the Iron Hills with only Kili to support you?" There was a squeak in Gisla's voice.

"I'm well aware that Chieftain Dain is. . . difficult."

"Which is why you need more than Kili at your back."

Mari shook her head. "I can't make off with both heirs of Erebor."

"Not to mention the future queen of Erebor," Gisla smirked

"Of course. That makes everything so much better." Mari studied the other woman, her friend with whom she had laughed and fought alongside, who never once had breathed a word about what her marriage with Fili actually meant. It was a sobering thought, and a reminder of what was at stake.

"To be honest, yes it would. Think about it. The future king and queen, the second in line to the throne, who happens to have a very personal connection to you, as well as the future chief advisor and administrator. Thorin may be king, but he won't live forever. Dain knows this and for all the ambition he has, he would have to acknowledge such a force."

"You have no children Gisla. Kids would sink his ambitions like the ice did with _Titanic_."

"Well, that could be arranged," Gisla smirked, ignoring the unknown reference.

"I'm sure it could, but hardly overnight."

"True. But it still would be a force to reckon with," Gisla argued, her dark eyes flashing determinedly.

"Call me paranoid and maybe I have read too much about Chinese court machinations, but I'd not want you with me in the Iron Hills. You are Fili's weakness and if you are hurt or worse, things could change drastically. Which is why I don't want Fili anywhere near the Iron Hills either. It's quite enough to put Kili at risk."

Gisla stared at her. "Mahal's forges!"

"I have to admit that I don't know just how far he would be willing to go, but if he's of the less scrupulous kind, that is a real threat."

Gisla stared into the fire. "You should go to Ered Luin if nothing else to meet Balin, Mari." The fire suddenly cracked and sent a spray of embers into the air, most caught by the fireplace screen. But a few hopped over it and Mari yanked her feet away before they landed on her. They soared and died as they hit the granite on the floor in front of the hearth.

"Birch my arse. I could bet my arm there's willow in the firewood I got," she grumbled and glared at the fire for a few moments before she put her feet back on the hamper. She turned to look at Gisla.

"If I go to Ered Luin, I'd reveal what I'm up to."

With a slight shrug Gisla replied, "Everyone is expecting you to do something."

"But I don't want Thorin's prominent nose anywhere near this. Balin is like Dwalin, completely loyal to him. I wouldn't want to ask anything from either of them that would even skirt the edges of disloyalty."

"You could write him. A bit of correspondence would be easier to hide. You can't go into this unprepared." Gisla was adamant, waving her free hand in the air.

"I'll. . . think about it." As Gisla opened her mouth, Mari held up her hand. "I have to weigh the risks. But I will consider it, I promise."

Gisla gave her a long look not hiding the fact that she wasn't accepting this to be the last thing said on this particular topic.

Mari emptied her mug. "Would you look at that-I think I need to get some more ale." She sighed. "You know what would have been great by the way? I thought a lot about it in winter, but it's really on days like this that I miss it."

Gisla shook her head.

A sauna. A proper one." Mari's voice was wistful.

"A sauna?" Gisla tipped her head and studied Mari from under her raised brow.

"A steam bath. There are various kinds of them where I come from, from a little hut by a river to huge elaborate bath temples. I prefer the small ones that can take about a handful of people. I'm surprised you haven't developed something like that, actually. It should be right up your alley." Mari rose to her feet and picked up the jug.

Gisla shook her head. "How does that mind of yours even work?"

"Easy. We went from Balin, who is a Dwarf, which means ale, which contains alcohol, and alcohol is a common ingredient when bathing the sauna with friends." Mari headed towards the pantry again.

"Your logic is astonishing," Gisla snickered. "But not inaccurate, by the sound of it. I think I like the sound of that sauna. Perhaps we should build one?"

"I'm all for it!" Mari called back from inside the pantry. She came back and started refilling their mugs. "But there's is something to be said about those huge palace-like things. I was in a city called Istanbul once and you should have seen it. High vaulted ceilings with light pouring through small windows in the domes and the most amazing mosaics." Fascinated Gisla brought her mug to her lips as she listened.

* * *

It was late when they finally crept into the grand bed now in Mari's possession. She had left the curtains out because the room it was in was barely large enough to accommodate the bed as it was. Adding curtains would have made the room feel like one of those Russian dolls, and even more cramped than it was.

"It's a bit much for this place, isn't it?" Mari asked as Gisla studied the carvings on it with her hands cradling the back of her head where she lay on her back.

Gisla snorted. "A bit perhaps." She turned her head and grinned at Mari. "I suppose they expected you to share it with someone."

"Most likely. I could have settled for something a bit less voluminous though." Mari's eyes travelled over the elaborate frame until they landed on Gisla, who chewed on her lower lip for a minute as Mari watched her. "Oh please. Spit it out," Mari finally urged.

"So you really sleep alone then?" Gisla asked, glancing at Mari.

"Yes, I sleep alone. In case you haven't noticed it's a big no-no for me to share this monstrosity at night with someone who is male that I'm not married to." Mari smirked.

"I was so certain. . . Kili has the opportunity to claim he's elsewhere and stay here after all." There was a note of surprise in Gisla's voice as she spoke.

Mari made a face. It was easy to see how people who didn't know them well would get the impression that's what they did, but it still surprised her that the family expected them to be that scheming. Now, they hadn't cared for convention during the long winter patrols and no one had ever questioned that, but the war-like times were over. Life had gone back to normal and it meant they needed to think more about their actions. Both she and Kili had agreed on this.

"It would require us to drag you into it. And nosy neighbours can discover it by chance. My stomach hurts just at the thought of something like that happening. No thanks." Mari's lip curled.

With a sigh Gisla nodded. "So this bed remains untested. What a shame."

After a brief fight with herself, Mari lost, and a smirk pulled the corners of her mouth upward. "I didn't say it was untested. Just that I sleep alone."

Gisla stared at Mari with her mouth slightly ajar. "Oh, I should have known," she said and began chortling and Mari joined in with a snicker of her own.

"Did you speak to the apothecary about the tea I suggested?" Gisla asked as the laughter died down.

Mari nodded. "I did. He suggested some changes in the recipe and a slightly different dose. Mostly because you, apparently, can take more. There's a risk of overdose." She smirked.

The visit had been one to remember. Gisla had provided her with a small pouch of it with a detailed list of ingredients that Mari had brought with her, and though the apothecary clearly knew exactly what it was, it had made him visibly uncomfortable. When she saw his discomfort she had asked if there was a problem and if she should take this elsewhere, but he had assured her he would provide help.

"It's not common among us Shire folk to choose to avoid having children, but there are occasions when it's needed," he had told her. "I will not pretend to understand other folk's ways. It's not something I need to know much about either. I can however think of several medical reasons why it's wise for you to come to me in this situation, and that is all that matters." He had smiled reassuringly at her and gone to work.

Gisla scowled. "If it's to be of any use and prevent a pregnancy it needs to be strong enough."

"But it can't be too strong or it will harm me. That's not an attractive deal," Mari gently pointed out, and Gisla nodded in agreement.

"Have you considered what to do if you become pregnant?" Gisla asked and shifted around in the bed so she faced Mari.

"Do? I don't have that many options, do I? Okay, I suppose the old metal hanger or the equivalent could in theory be considered an option. . . " Mari went silent, shuddered and then winced. Gisla stared incredulously at her. "It's quite unpleasant. And not unlikely to be deadly too," Mari murmured and went on to explain the quite simple procedure.

Gisla reached out and gripped Mari's shoulder, looking very grave. "No. Do you hear me?"

Mari smiled bleakly at her. "Note; I said _in theory_. I don't consider that an actual option." She grew serious again. "I'm not of this world and that alone should be enough. On top of this I am drinking that blasted tea. It would be stunning if I were faced with such a decision, to be honest."

"It's my privilege to worry about you," Gisla replied. "You're my closest friend and you are in a precarious situation. I simply don't want you to do something drastic."

"The way you put it, it sounds like the Dark Ages. I always assumed that if that should happen here, I'd have a child. Nothing more and nothing less." Mari frowned. "Does that sound too simple?"

Gisla smiled. "No, it sounds sensible. I'm glad to hear it."

"Well then. Now that's settled too." Gisla watched her with a thoughtful expression for a while and Mari sighed again. "Really Gisla? Why don't you just say it?"

"You must understand that I grew up in a society that is very secretive. I will automatically assume others are the same, and to a certain extent, at least when it comes to some aspects, people are exactly like us. Sometimes you astound me by reacting strongly to some things, whereas you shrug at others," Gisla explained apologetically.

"I understand. You have skirted this subject like you're a cat on a hot tin roof, so I think I have an idea what it's about. Though it's not uncontroversial in parts of the world where I come from, I personally had the choice to end a pregnancy. That's what you're on about, isn't it? That there are options for that as well?" Mari arched her eyebrows at her friend. Tension drained from Gisla's frame and she looked quite relieved.

"It may seem odd that it's accepted among us, but we're practical people," Gisla said.

"Yeah, it makes it so much easier to look at it that way when you work like you do," Mari agreed. "Okay, so there are options." For a moment she was just silent as she stopped mid-thought, with her mouth open to speak. She closed it and sighed, giving Gisla a long look. "It was easier when I didn't have more than one, you know."

Gisla nodded. "Understandable. But I think it's important to know. You may feel you need to for your own sake but even if you wouldn't want to choose that option, you may find you have to, or die."

"You really are cheery this evening, aren't you?" Mari exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at her friend.

Gisla reached out again and pulled Mari into a tight embrace. "I apologise, but at some point I have to bring it up. I doubt we'll get a better chance. Hope for the best – plan for the worst."

Mari hugged her back and felt tears rise in her eyes. As Gisla let her go, she cleared her throat. "Do I seem so frail and reckless to you?" she asked.

"Frail, yes. Reckless. . . I think we all are to a certain extent, but you have been known to be clever in situations where both Fee and Kee has a tendency to. . . simply charge ahead."

Mari snorted. "I have my moments too."

Gisla's smile widened. "I'm not unfamiliar with the tendency. You try to plan ahead, though, which is wise."

"And you're looking after me. You did the same in winter." Mari went quiet.

"Does it bother you?" Gisla asked worriedly.

"No, it doesn't. It's simply strange."

"You saved my life," Gisla whispered.

Mari smiled and caressed Gisla's cheek. "I'd do it all over again. I'm just not used to the idea yet that others would selflessly do the same – and more – for me."

"I don't understand your life before you came here."

"You'd be surprised how few who actually can be trusted when you truly need them." There was no bitterness in Mari as she said it, only a sober reflection on the world as it was.

Gisla caught Mari's hand. "Well, I suppose time is the only thing that can reveal those who are trustworthy." She smiled.

"I think it already has," Mari replied.

"Good. In that case I suggest we try and sleep some. I'm about to start snoring any second now." Gisla suppressed a yawn.

"M'good idea." Mari closed her eyes and Gisla followed her example, their hands still joined.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end - and the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter on this part I. I wrote the first draft during one week in early March 2014, but it has grown over time, from 60 000 words to over 100 000, now has a companion piece and a sequel, which wasn't the plan from the start. I simply enjoyed writing this so much I couldn't stop, and I hope you'll come along for more adventures in Middle Earth. I'll begin posting on Unravel shortly. Thank you for reading!

Mari stood looking at the plant chaos in front of her. She had to admit she knew very little about anything green really, but she had come to the conclusion that something had to be done about the riot in her garden. Prim had given her a crash course in weeds and some basic tasks she could do, and on this glorious morning when she had nothing else to do, she had armed herself with some tools and headed outdoors. It had seemed fairly easy as Prim had walked her through the suggested tasks, but now, as she stood there alone, it didn't seem that easy.

"Dead things first," she mumbled to herself and gripped the secateurs and saw. Soon she found herself engrossed in the work and she hummed quietly as she slowly removed dead twigs and branches, as well as last summer season's perennial flower stems, now dry and brown. After an hour she came to the conclusion that it would become quite a lot of material to get rid of and she stood glaring at the fairly large pile on the path to her front door.

"You could always burn it," the cheerful voice belonging to Kili piped up behind her by the gate.

Her mouth twitched as she turned to face him. "How long have you been casually hanging on that gatepost?" she asked and put her hands on her hips.

"A while. Seemed like a pity to disturb you, and I'm not in a hurry." He grinned and pushed the gate open and stepped inside the garden.

"When did you come home?" she asked and accepted being pulled into a hug.

"Late yesterday evening."

"You stayed longer than I thought you would." He hummed in reply and looked a bit distant. "You were up to something, weren't you?"

He shook his head. "No, Fili and I simply decided to stay one extra day. We needed a few things and we wanted to spend some time talking, just the two of us."

Mari slowly extracted herself from his arms and turned towards the pile to begin moving it to a better spot.

"Did you have a good time?" she asked as she started sawing one larger branch into smaller pieces. When he didn't reply she paused and turned to look at him. He stood with his feet firmly planted on the stone path with his arms crossed over his chest, watching her with a slightly tilted head.

"You are leaving, aren't you? It never leaves you alone; the knowledge about the future, does it?"

She turned back to the branch and finished sawing. "You're leaving for Gondor, aren't you?" she countered.

"That was the plan, yes. I was hoping you'd come along though." His eyes dipped to the ground. "You haven't seen much of this world yet," he added quietly. She nodded and their eyes met as he raised his from the ground again.

"I have a suggestion. Come with us south. Once you feel you must, we'll take leave of the caravan and go where ever you must go."

A faint smile lit up Mari's face. "You think so alike it's almost disconcerting. Gisla suggested the same thing while you were away."

"She's known to be sensible," Kili noted innocently. It was too quick and too eager.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Kili, you have never praised Gisla's sensibility. No one else's sensibility for that matter. Where did you sleep last night?"

"We didn't want to bother mother and the others," he replied evasively.

"You talked about this last night, didn't you?" she sighed.

Kili hesitated for a few moments, studying her, and then he nodded. "We did. But I did come up with it myself while we were in Bree. Ori-"

"Ori? Wasn't he home?" Mari cut in.

"He. . . was visiting Gisla. I didn't know he would be there." Kili was shamefaced, that much was clear, and she sighed.

"Please. Admit that he was visiting because he expected you to come home yesterday. Gisla probably asked him, didn't she?"

He ducked his head and hid behind his bangs. "Yes, you're correct."

She studied him for long moments, as she tried to gather her thoughts. Finally she exhaled and looked away.

"I'm sorry," she quietly said.

"For what?" he asked and when she glanced back at him she saw his surprise.

"For shutting you out. You have no idea how relieved I am that you're determined to help me."

He slowly stepped closer. "I think I do actually." As he came to a halt in front of her, he reached out and caressed her cheek with a smile. "Do you remember when you called me heroic? You could just as well have spoken of yourself. You shoulder responsibilities no one expected you to carry, and you are prepared to do it all on your own for the good of everyone. You don't have to do this alone though. We will be there."

Mari blinked rapidly and swallowed hard. "Thank you," she whispered and smiled back at him. A clatter by the gate made them both turn to look in that direction. Fiddling with the gate lock was Dwalin, balancing a basket on his arm as he examined the piece of metal.

"This one is faulty, lass," he grumbled. "Ye need a proper hatch or yer gate will break." As he looked up his eyes landed on Kili. "So yer home laddie?" he continued, looking sternly at the younger man, pushing the gate open to step through. Kili's cheeks tinged in a faint red.

Mari met him as he closed the gate. "Don't glare at Kili. My honour has not been besmirched," she said with a smile and tried to peer down in the basket. Dwalin caught her and gave her a bone crushing hug.

"We both know that's nawt true," he groused and put his hands on her shoulders.

She shrugged as best she could with his heavy hands weighing on her. "I'm not opposed to the idea of a change in status, as you know, which would do something about all this besmirching," she replied lightly. Dwalin sighed. "Enough of that," she continued. "What brings you here this morning then?"

"Eggs. Enough fer ye ta make an omelette." He smirked down at her as she peered into the basket and counted them. "Enough even for that rascal eating ye out of yer house."

She looked up at him. "He's doing no such thing. If nothing else, you're making sure he's not. But really, I have enough. More than enough."

"Good." Dawlin turned to smirk at Kili who narrowed his eyes at him. She was certain Kili would have rolled his eyes if that had been appropriate, and she shook her head at them both.

"It's time for a break for me anyway, so would you like some tea?" She flicked her eyes between them. "I made scones this morning and I think they're still good enough to eat." Both men brightened and she snorted. "I'll put the kettle on then," she continued and headed inside.

Kili and Dwalin stood for a moment avoiding to look at each other.

"I'm sensing some plotting going on. Yer all tense like bow strings," Dwalin finally said, nailing his eyes on Kili.

"If by plotting you mean that Fili and I are preparing to make our ordinary journey south, I suppose you're right," Kili replied with a shrug.

"Don't think ye can fool me laddie!" Dwalin scowled. "There will be nothing ordinary 'bout that journey, if my senses serve me right."

Kili gazed at the man who had filled the shoes of a missing father, yet always made it clear he wasn't. He knew Dwalin always would see through him and didn't even attempt to pretend anything else. To his surprise it was Dwalin who sighed and averted his eyes.

"I suppose I always knew this day would come, but I fear for ye all. Headstrong an' always eager ta do what ye believe is right, an' now yer 'bout ta defy yer king."

"Strictly speaking there will be no defying involved. He'd have to issue an order or two for it to become defiance, and I know he won't do that. He can hardly stop us from living our lives as we see fit."

"In Fili and Gisla's case, yes, they can. In yers? That's a wee bit more complicated."

"Or not. If it's propriety alone that's the issue, that's easily rectified, and you know that." Kili paused and drew a deep breath. "Dwalin, that isn't what's occupying our thoughts right now. It's certainly not the reason why we're. . . concerned."

"Thorin hasn't been himself since Mari showed up here an' I know Erebor is weighing more an' more heavily on him. Now I see tha shadow of tha mountain over ye as well. Ye don't have ta do this. Ye can build a life elsewhere and ferget 'bout that fire drake."

"You think Uncle will cease with his obsession? He won't. He knows it will soon be too late for him if he doesn't do something, and he has never been one to let things go." Kili turned his head to look at the smial. "It has always been there and Mari simply reminded him that his time is running out."

"What are ye going ta do?"

With a grin Kili turned his eyes back to Dwalin. "Now that's something I can't reveal." His grin faded. "I'm going to ask you to not speak about this with anyone. I know you're fiercely loyal to my uncle, but I must ask this of you anyway. It is for his benefit that we're doing what we're doing. I know I don't need to tell you this, but Uncle needs someone watching his back once he leaves for Erebor."

Dwalin nodded heavily and peered at Kili. "I won't lie if asked, but ye have my silence an' I'll look after Thorin if needs be." He paused for a moment and then gave Kili a small smile. "I'm proud of ye, laddie. Of all three of ye. Fair, honest an' brave, an' nawt without wits."

Kili stared at the ground, thrown by the sudden praise from the older man. Not that Dwalin had been stingy with his praise when they had accomplished something, but this was different. This was open approval of him personally, and it instantly made the moment defining. Things would never be the same after this, but Kili was tongue tied, unable to find words fitting the occasion.

"Now, I believe I was promised tea an' scones," Dwalin said in a lighter tone and cuffed Kili on the shoulder as he strode past, breaking the tension. Kili shook his head and followed Dwalin inside.

* * *

Gisla and Mari lifted the large baskets from the ponies' backs and deposited them on the banks of the stream, where Dis was waiting to begin the work. Right here the stream had formed a small pond, before it plunged into a short stretch of rapids. It was perfect for laundry and was also used to bathe the sheep before they were sheared. Today was a good day for laundry. The past week had been unusually hot for this time of year, and Dis, Gisla and Mari had decided to go over the textiles Mari had been given and take them to be laundered.

"It's an excellent excuse to stay in the shade and water while doing something productive," Dis had concluded with a twinkle in her eye. As if she had read Mari's mind about royalty, she had chuckled and continued, "It's not much different from work in the forge, after all."

Mari had to admit that the bashing certainly was a lot like subduing metal using a hammer and an anvil, and it was hard work. It was however a lot cooler than the forge due to the water, which was still cold this time of year. The day grew rather hot though, and she was quite happy to stand in the streaming water, bashing and rinsing. Once they were finished they spread the textiles and garments in the grass to dry and bleach in the sun.

The actual laundry done away with, they lazily ate the food they had brought and chatted as they waited for the textiles to dry. Even in the shade it was now hot and Mari begun eyeing the water speculatively.

"Gisla? Do you remember when I offered to teach you how to swim if we ever got summer back?" she asked, with her eyes nailed on the stream.

Gisla glanced at Mari. "Of course," she replied, and then she turned her head to study the water.

Dis paused the straw plaiting she was doing and threw a cursory glance at the stream too. "Swim?" she asked.

"Oh yes. It's pretty hot so it's excellent for a dip anyway," Mari said enthusiastically.

Dis chuckled. "Oh love, this is nothing. When the forges in Erebor were at full capacity, _that_ was hot."

"I don't doubt it." Mari smiled. "I dare say you didn't have any problems with central heating in winter."

"Hardly. On the other hand, summer doesn't do much for temperatures inside the mountains, so it needs constant heating to not become a rather damp and dreary place, even in summer." Dis' nimble fingers continued plating, picking up new straw.

Mari nodded. "But this is still quite hot and we're in the Shire. I really feel like taking a swim." She turned to look at Gisla. "So what do you say? Want to learn?"

Gisla looked hesitant. "I don't know. . . "

Mari shrugged. "I'll show you the basics," she said and quickly got on her feet and discarded her clothes. Without any hesitation she stepped out in the water and then threw herself into it.

They all knew Mari was thin, at least in comparison to themselves, but Dis had to fight the urge to become seriously worried when she saw Mari without a thread on her body. She was still recovering from the winter starvation, and she was painfully scrawny in Dis' eyes. She darted a glance at Gisla who met her eyes briefly.

"She looks a lot better than just a couple of months ago," Gisla said quietly. "She'll be fine."

"I don't understand how she survived," Dis grumbled.

Gisla cocked her head to the side. "You're not the only one to ask yourself that question. I don't know if she has her bleeding back yet, for instance, but I suspect she has."

Dis' eyebrows shot up. "She lost it?"

"Aye. Apparently her kind do if they eat too little. If they don't consume certain nutriments they begin to lose their teeth and bleed from gums and the nose and. . . They are so sensitive, so yes, I wonder every day how she managed to survive. I was so very worried when they set out again after Yule. Before that I could look after her. . . " Gisla drew a deep breath and glanced back at Dis, revealing the sheen of tears in her eyes.

"Mahal," Dis whispered. Her thoughts went to Kili as she watched the young woman in the water and she sighed. Mari had never told her about how she would lose her sons, but ever since the young woman had stepped into her life, Dis had known with certainty that it would happen sooner rather than later. The sympathy Mari had met her with came from knowing about a great grief yet to come.

It seemed to Dis that they both barely clung to life – Kili because of his bravery, bordering on foolhardiness and Mari because of her fragility. It would be a small miracle if they survived until old age. Perhaps that was why they had found each other, and it was definitely one reason why she had accepted things the way they were, even if it under normal circumstances would have been questionable at best and scandalous at worst.

She had other reasons too, but those she hardly dared to even formulate in her own mind. To her surprise, Dwalin hadn't put up much of a fight on this. Unexpected, but welcome. She hadn't asked what his reasons were, because she knew he'd ask for hers in return. Best to let that beast sleep, she mused.

She watched Mari disappear under water, and she straightened momentarily. However, before she managed to do or say anything, Mari broke the water surface and fell into a way of swimming Dis had never seen before. What came next was like watching some water animal, like the otters in the mountains and their frolicking, and the two women simply gaped.

"How does she do that?" Gisla asked in disbelief.

"Gisla!" Mari called from the water. "You want to try?"

Peals of laughter came from Gisla. "That was intimidating! I'll never learn to do something like that!"

"Don't be silly. Once you have mastered staying afloat the real fun can begin. Come on!" Mari urged.

Hesitatingly Gisla got on her feet and begun undressing before she slowly stepped into the water herself. Mari met her and begun the instruction. Dis watched with interest as Mari patiently guided Gisla into simply dipping her head under the surface and getting used to the idea of being in deep water without tensing up in fear.

After a while the two young women ended up sitting on two stones at the top of the rapids, having a conversation Dis couldn't hear. It was a sight that warmed her. She had feared Gisla would find herself quite lonely here in the Shire, but as it had turned out, Gisla was clearly happier here than she had ever been in Ered Luin.

Aside from the close friendship with Mari, Gisla had become friends with the Isembard girls too, and had been included in their circle of friends. There was just one thing missing now, in Dis' opinion anyway, but she had promised herself she would not be that kind of a relative, pressing the younger generation into parenthood. They already knew the expectations. She didn't need to add any more weight on them. After all, she knew all too well what that was like.

As she studied them, slowly a feeling of wariness began growing. It was something in their manners, the expression of their faces, the tension in their frames that raised her alarm. Their voices were obscured by the sound of flowing water, but they still sat with their heads close together and their faces were close to grim, reminding her of Dwalin's expression of late.

She averted her eyes and looked to the east. The view was blocked by the woods this stream was flowing through, but she knew that far to the east, on the other side of the Misty Mountains, there was a lone peak that haunted her brother and worried everyone else.

It struck her as odd that her lads were so sincere of late. They had declared they would travel south, as was their habit. That usually meant that while their spirits were not high, they at least were looking forward to beginning their journey. Instead they seemed solemn and thoughtful and conferences were held in Fili's or Mari's home, never at the forge. Dis' brow furrowed. Dwalin knew something she didn't, she realised, but what it was linked to wasn't too hard to imagine.

A splashing sound caught her attention and she saw Gisla and Mari make it back to where they had left their clothes. The moment was gone and they were smiling again, but the black cloud did not leave her, and she didn't say much as they packed up, retrieved the ponies and set off back to Tuckborough.

Mari followed Dis out the door as she was heading back to the forge. By the gate she stopped and turned her eyes to Mari, taking in every detail about her. Like wind or water, she briefly thought as she studied the young woman; hard to contain and always finding a way through the tiniest cracks. Reluctantly she smiled at the association.

History had an uncanny way of repeating itself, she mused, and she fleetingly thought of Kili's father. For a brief moment she froze, then she cleared the cobwebs of her mind and focused on what was in front of her.

She reached out and pulled Mari into an embrace. "Do not leave without a proper farewell. Promise me this," she said as she released Mari.

Mari's eyes dropped to the ground. "I don't know if I can promise to do that," the young woman quietly replied.

"Then we'll live every day as if it were our last." Their eyes met and for a long moment they stood gazing at each other. "Tell the lads I wish to see them one evening before they leave. I hardly ever see them these days."

Mari nodded. "I will."

Dis opened the gate and strode down the path towards the forge with a heavy heart.

* * *

The sun was glowing warm and red as it sank beneath the horizon, lining a few cirrus clouds with gold for quite some time after setting. Winter seemed to have been utterly forgotten, the landscape was green and lush, and the air was warm after a hot day. The fragrance from flowers and bushes was intensifying, and a blackbird sat in a tree singing. The Shire certainly was a lovely place at this time of year, Kili mused, as he shifted slightly in the saddle.

This was hardly any news to him, but for many years it had also been the time of year when he left for the less picturesque south. Perhaps it was because of the long winter, or perhaps it was because of what lay ahead, or possibly both, but he felt a streak of blue sadness as he took all of it in, something he hadn't felt before.

He steered his pony in on a path taking him to his destination without passing through Tuckborough but skirting the woods nearby. His errand was one of secrecy. While the main caravan with his brother, Gisla, and Ori was staying in Waymoore, he had left them, heading to Tuckborough. The plan was to stay the night with Mari, finally breaking the rule everyone believed he already had broken anyway, and early in the morning hours leave with her and join the caravan in the White Downs. With a quick glance he checked on the pony trudging behind and smiled softly. It would be good to see her again.

Mari was sitting on the grassy roof of her smial as she so often did, watching the purple and blue shades as the mist rose down in the valley in the balmy evening. It had been a particularly good day spent with Prim, Marge, and Viola, with cheese-making and veal for dinner, solid evidence that winter was firmly behind them. She could almost forget that Kili and her friends were in Ered Luin, hopefully soon coming back, but not quite, which was why she was perched on this roof in the first place. One day she hoped she would spy him coming up the path.

Her things were packed, and had been so for weeks, ever since they all left, and she was as ready as she could be. It would be sad to leave her home behind, but she had an important task ahead of her, and at least part of the way she would have her friends with her. It almost felt like going on a holiday, she mused.

As he came over the rise behind the cluster of smials along the path down to the centre of the village, he spotted her. She was quietly sitting in her usual fashion, cross legged with her elbows resting on her knees, absently picking at the grass around her, eyes towards the north and the village. The sight made him smile, because he guessed why she sat there, seemingly enjoying the beautiful scenery.

He quietly steered his horse towards the gate and hoped he'd manage to catch her by surprise. Had she been a Dwarf he would have succeeded, but her hearing was keener, and before he arrived at the gate in front of the smial, she picked up on the sound of hooves, and turned her head towards him.

There was no loud scene of open affection. Mari simply climbed down from the roof and met him at the gate, opening it for the ponies to pass through. Then without a word she wrapped her arms around him as he dismounted. The ponies were ushered into the shed, taken care of, and Mari and Kili disappeared inside the smial without lingering, in case nosy neighbours would spy his arrival.

He had turned up at a good time of day when almost everyone was inside, going about their evening business before it was time for bed. This was what he had counted on as he had arrived after sunset in the blue twilight – slipping into the village without drawing any attention to himself. The plan was to leave just as unnoticed before the sun rose.

As Kili was in the bath, Mari brought out the leftovers Viola had packed for her, humming as she did. He had certainly timed his arrival perfectly, she concluded, as she cut up the bread to go along with the slices of veal and spring greens. The new potatoes and a jug of the more festive ale joined the meat and bread on the table. She poured herself a mug of the ale and sat down, waiting for him to come out, and when he did, she was not disappointed with his reaction to the food on the table.

"This is certainly a feast," he said with a grin and sat down.

"It was time to slaughter a calf to make cheese, and Viola packed the leftovers for me," she explained, and watched Kili hungrily dig in.

"Pity I can't give them my thanks." He glanced through the window towards the smial that previously had been Mari's home.

"Write them a note. I have written a long letter so you can simply add it."

He nodded and continued to eat. "You really won't see Dis?" she asked.

"No, I won't. I don't like it, but we have said our goodbyes and I don't think it's a good idea to involve her in this. I hope you have seen her lately though."

Mari nodded. "Today. I took some rennet to her after dinner before going home. We've seen each other every day since you left actually."

"Doing this without Uncle knowing doesn't bother me much, but it does with Mother. I will miss her." He stared at the plate and his fork stilled. "I think she sensed something as we left for the Blue Mountains."

With a smile Mari tore a slice of bread in two and dipped it in the stew in front of her. "You're not very good at hiding what you're thinking and feeling." He made a face and stabbed a potato. "She knows," Mari simply stated and bit down on the bread and started chewing.

Kili looked up. "Has she said anything?" he asked.

"No. Not directly. It's clear anyway, in the way she speaks and her eyes. . . She often turns to the east. I don't know if she's aware that she's doing it, but. . . "

They were silent for a while.

"What have you told the others, the merchants? About me, I mean. I suppose you're not going to accept any separation as we travel with them" She tilted her head as she studied him.

He glanced briefly at her. "Nothing. It's none of their business," he said airily.

Her eyebrows arched. "These are Dwarves. Broadbeams, sure, but still Dwarves." She shook her head. "I feel like I have corrupted you." She waved vaguely at the interior of the smial.

He looked up and smiled warmly at her. "Hardly. Tomorrow morning I'll braid your hair a bit differently and not a question will be asked. Because they are Broadbeams they won't pry into matters that aren't their concern. Maybe it'll come out in autumn as they arrive back home, but by then we'll be long gone."

"Whose idea was this?" Mari asked incredulously.

"My own," Kili replied casually, with his focus on the plate in front of him.

"Not discussed with the others?"

"Of course it was. I mentioned it and they agreed it would be the best approach."

"I can't pass as a Dwarf. Surely someone will ask about that."

"If they do, they won't bother you. A passing question may be put forward to me or possibly Fili, and that we can handle."

"So I'm supposed to pretend we're. . . married?" The disbelief was very obvious in her voice.

Kili raised his eyes and his brow knitted together. "Would that be so hard?"

"No. Not as long as I don't need to answer any questions about it. I just can't believe you would do this. It's quite. . . deceitful."

"I may prefer to do something in a certain way, but if that route is closed, I will consider other options. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" he asked. "I have lied before. For your sake I have even lied to Uncle, and that started long before you even asked the question."

"I take back what I said about corrupting you." She grinned at him and he smirked back and shrugged.

"I've missed you," she murmured and reached out to catch his hand. He looked up and swallowed, and to her surprise a faint hint of crimson crept over his cheeks.

"What?" she asked when his eyes dipped.

"I'm trying to find the right words to explain what I wouldn't have to, if you'd been a Dwarf." He raised his eyes. "The word 'miss' does not cover what it has been like."

She shrugged. "Probably not. Words rarely do cover everything."

"They don't." He sounded decisive and serious.

"Good thing words aren't the only means of communication we have. The wordless kind probably works a lot better, and this is probably our last chance to try out that four-poster bed," she said breezily and snickered as his eyebrows shot up.

"You cheeky-" he started saying before she leaned over the table and put her finger over his mouth.

"Eat up. We'll have to leave early so it's definitely bedtime." She let her hand drop to the table.

"You expect me to eat more after saying that?" he grinned.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Good point." He looked down at his plate. "And I suppose the sooner I finish, the sooner we can go to bed." Glancing back at her he smirked. "Isn't that so?"

"Precisely." Her smile was lopsided and mirth danced in her eyes, and she quickly finished her own meal.

* * *

A blackbird sitting in an elderberry bush was greeting the oncoming morning when Mari closed the door behind her and locked it. She put the key under a flower pot, as agreed with Prim, the only Took who knew what they had planned. Turning, she smiled at Kili who stood at the garden gate, dressed in his traveller's clothes, the same as the evening before, his bow on his back and his sword at his side.

She looked up at the sky, which promised another fine summer's day, and adjusted her own weapons before she stepped through the gate. They mounted their ponies and steered up the path Kili had come, eager to be on their way. Before the sun rose over the horizon they had left Tuckborough behind, heading for the White Downs and the Old South Road where they were going to meet up the caravan.

Far in the south the Gap of Rohan waited for them.


End file.
